failure Archives | Heavenly Homemakers

If you woke up to a stack of crusty dishes piled up in the sink, you are not a failure.

If you forgot to put the laundry in the dryer and the clothes all got sour in the washer, you are not a failure.

If your kids threw a fit at the store, refusing to obey you, you are not a failure.

If you said something stupid, hurt someone’s feelings, forgot an important commitment, burned dinner, broke a special plate, spilled an entire bottle of something expensive, lost your phone, or overslept, you are not a failure. You are normal though, so hi! Welcome to the club.

It’s too easy for us to look at what we did or did not do, how our kids did or did not act, and what did or did not happen – letting each act and experience define our success or failure.

Why is this? Is it possible that somehow, even though we all know it isn’t true, we all think that we (and everyone around us) should be perfect? Even if we may not consider ourselves to be perfectionists, deep down, we still want life to be perfect. We don’t want anything to go wrong, to annoy us, or to be inconvenient. We want our spouse, our kids, our friends, our homes, our jobs, our health, and every single person we deal with to be perfect. When they aren’t – yes that’s when, not if – when they aren’t, we feel as if we’ve failed or as if other people have failed us.

Stop it.

Stop Feeling Like a Failure

The truth is, we will never, ever in this fallen world achieve or experience anything close to perfection. There is much good in the world, because God is everywhere around us, showing us His goodness. But there’s also a lot of yuck in the world because Satan wants to win our hearts. He enjoys watching our discouragement and bitterness. He loves it when he can take our focus off God and turn us inward, making us focus on our supposed failures. Ah yes, if Satan can keep our minds thinking selfishly, he wins. That’s his goal.

But guess what? This desire for perfection we all feel so strongly? That is God given. God wants us to seek to find that which is perfect. Why? Why would He give us that desire when clearly there is no way we can achieve perfection on this earth? He gives us this desire because He is perfection and He wants us to seek Him. Jesus. Jesus is perfection. That’s really what we should be looking for.

Keep lovingly taking care of your family and home. Keep yearning to be more Christ-like. But let go of the guilt that comes through your lack of perfection and supposed failure. Focus on Jesus, the One who fulfills that need for perfection we all long for.

Crusty dishes in the sink? Yep, there they are. Gonna be late to an appointment? Sometimes, sure enough. People getting in your way and causing you trouble? Well, of course.

This earth is only temporary. This isn’t it, people. Perfection? It’s coming! I can’t wait.

What You're Not Perfect Either

When I wake up in the morning, I like walking into a clean living room. I love to see a bathroom empty of dirty laundry. And I feel so peaceful cooking breakfast in a tidy kitchen.

When I wake up the boys, it feels great to see them sleeping in a room that is uncluttered. As I walk back downstairs, I love to see our school room organized, our stash of Legos all picked up, and a hallway that is clear of all toys, clothes, and balls.

Yes, this is what I strive for as a homemaker. It is when my house is cleaned and uncluttered that I feel peace.

So what happens when I wake up to a kitchen that looks like this?

dirty_kitchen_1

And a hallway that looks like this?

clean_laundry

And a Lego room that looks like this:

lego_room

Should I then feel like I’ve failed? Should I sigh deeply, let my shoulders drop, frown, and wonder {again} why everyone else has it together better than I?

Sure I could, and I have many times through the years. After all, older women have encouraged me to never go to bed with a dirty kitchen. Books and blogs I’ve read have provided so many organizational tools and scheduling ideas that if I were to only implement them already, I could easily get done what I need to each day. There should be no reason that my clean laundry sits in the hallway for three days before we get around to folding it and putting it away – after all, I am home all day and I have a lot of boys to help out. I have got to get better organized! I have got to figure out a better schedule! Somehow I must not be doing something right!

What is the matter with me? When am I ever going to get all of this figured out?

Nothing.

Never.

Nothing is the matter with me and I am never going to get all of this figured out. How about you? Now let’s all breathe a sigh of relief.

Let’s stop seeing our personal imperfections and feeling crushed by them. As huge as our laundry piles are, as long as our to-do lists become – God is so much bigger, and so is his grace. While He does call us to take care of our homes, He doesn’t ask us to be enslaved by them or to make them an idol.

If we are so hung up on creating a perfect home that we lose sight of the heart of our home, ain’t no amount of dishwasher detergent gonna give us peace. Enough about me (or you) as a homemaker. Jesus is the One who makes a home.

Sometimes I wake up to this:

dirty_kitchen_4

It’s great. I love it. I strive to stay on top of the jobs that need to be done in my home. And I will continue to work hard because that is what I am called to do.

But never again will I feel like a failure when working hard for my family does not achieve perfection. Jesus is the heart of our home. The gunk on my floor doesn’t stand a chance.

What gets you down? What do you need to let go of so that you can accept the gift of God’s peace for your home?

You Can Stop Feeling Like a Failure Now

What? You’re Not Perfect Either?