Yep. This will be my 22nd married Valentine’s Day with my husband. Oh to be an oldie-wed. I truly love it.

We’ve never been into gifts or flowers. We rarely even go out for Valentine’s Day anymore. After raising kids together for 19+ years and being in the very thick of spending many of our daily hours parenting, schooling, working, juggling, and ministering to others, Matt and I have found that the simple gift of quiet, alone time together is what we seek most. We have to work to make it happen because if we don’t, it absolutely doesn’t.

You guys – there are teenagers everywhere! And they don’t like 8:00 bedtimes. What is wrong with these people? I’m ready to pass out at 8:00. How can they not understand?

So this is our life right now, and there are no words for how much I love it. (Except for all the parts I don’t, but isn’t that how life is in every season? Of course.)

This is the moment in the post where I start to give you perhaps a tiny bit more information than you bargained for. Maybe? I want to share with you something I’ve learned after 22 years of marriage. It’s rated PG, and it’s important enough that I feel I’d like to “go there” with you, my dear friends.

It’s this.

Sometimes with all of our comings and goings, with teenagers hanging around every corner, and busy schedules that are mostly fantastic but also exhausting – connecting with my husband has become a little bit more difficult during this season. I don’t have the energy I used to have at the end of the day – because there are not enough Fat Bombs in the world to help me keep up with all the activities and schedules and work deadlines and weighty decisions and theme papers. So can I tell you (with a bit of a red face) what has helped my husband and I to stay connected?

It’s skin-to-skin time. 

I mean, we all know that maintaining a healthy sex life as a married couple is vitally important. But I’m not just talking about sex (but yay for sex, because God sure did give married couples a gift, did he not?!).

We have found that being snuggled up, skin-to-skin, has been incredibly life-giving to our relationship. Two shall become one, after all. Connecting through the gift of touch – well, there aren’t words to describe it. I’m just thankful God revealed it, and even as I feel quite shy right now, I’m happy to share it with you.

Sometimes we pray together, skin-to-skin. Sometimes it leads to “other stuff.” Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I cry during our skin-to-skin time – either from joy, or stress release, or because I’ve missed being connected and am so happy to find it again. It’s rather beautiful.

And as an aside, though very much as another recommendation of a way to stay connected to your spouse, I want to put in a plug for MELT. Massage has been a fantastic way Matt and I have stayed connected through the years. There are so many benefits to massage – it relieves stress, it provides an opportunity to catch up and communicate, and in keeping with today’s topic, it offers wonderful skin-to-skin opportunities.

Matt and I have had access to MELT: Massage for Couples resources for two years and we highly recommend them. There are no awkward moments and there is NO nudity – the videos simply teach great massage skills and techniques for married couples. The clips are short and to the point and professionally done. It’s been fantastic to learn so many massage skills and benefits through these videos!

I recommend the MELT videos (there is a Valentine special going on right now!) as a great gift for your marriage. Make time for some skin-to-skin. Make time for massage. Make time for each other. Your marriage depends on it.

P.S. The discount offer from MELT is only good through Feb. 14 and it is a pretty significant price reduction. Check it out here!