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The Surprising Thing I’ve Learned After 22 Married Valentines Days

February 1, 2017 by Laura 1 Comment

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Yep. This will be my 22nd married Valentine’s Day with my husband. Oh to be an oldie-wed. I truly love it.

We’ve never been into gifts or flowers. We rarely even go out for Valentine’s Day anymore. After raising kids together for 19+ years and being in the very thick of spending many of our daily hours parenting, schooling, working, juggling, and ministering to others, Matt and I have found that the simple gift of quiet, alone time together is what we seek most. We have to work to make it happen because if we don’t, it absolutely doesn’t.

You guys – there are teenagers everywhere! And they don’t like 8:00 bedtimes. What is wrong with these people? I’m ready to pass out at 8:00. How can they not understand?

So this is our life right now, and there are no words for how much I love it. (Except for all the parts I don’t, but isn’t that how life is in every season? Of course.)

This is the moment in the post where I start to give you perhaps a tiny bit more information than you bargained for. Maybe? I want to share with you something I’ve learned after 22 years of marriage. It’s rated PG, and it’s important enough that I feel I’d like to “go there” with you, my dear friends.

It’s this.

Sometimes with all of our comings and goings, with teenagers hanging around every corner, and busy schedules that are mostly fantastic but also exhausting – connecting with my husband has become a little bit more difficult during this season. I don’t have the energy I used to have at the end of the day – because there are not enough Fat Bombs in the world to help me keep up with all the activities and schedules and work deadlines and weighty decisions and theme papers. So can I tell you (with a bit of a red face) what has helped my husband and I to stay connected?

It’s skin-to-skin time.

I mean, we all know that maintaining a healthy sex life as a married couple is vitally important. But I’m not just talking about sex (but yay for sex, because God sure did give married couples a gift, did he not?!).

We have found that being snuggled up, skin-to-skin, has been incredibly life-giving to our relationship. Two shall become one, after all. Connecting through the gift of touch – well, there aren’t words to describe it. I’m just thankful God revealed it, and even as I feel quite shy right now, I’m happy to share it with you.

Sometimes we pray together, skin-to-skin. Sometimes it leads to “other stuff.” Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I cry during our skin-to-skin time – either from joy, or stress release, or because I’ve missed being connected and am so happy to find it again. It’s rather beautiful.

And as an aside, though very much as another recommendation of a way to stay connected to your spouse, I want to put in a plug for MELT. Massage has been a fantastic way Matt and I have stayed connected through the years. There are so many benefits to massage – it relieves stress, it provides an opportunity to catch up and communicate, and in keeping with today’s topic, it offers wonderful skin-to-skin opportunities.

Matt and I have had access to MELT: Massage for Couples resources for two years and we highly recommend them. There are no awkward moments and there is NO nudity – the videos simply teach great massage skills and techniques for married couples. The clips are short and to the point and professionally done. It’s been fantastic to learn so many massage skills and benefits through these videos!

I recommend the MELT videos (there is a Valentine special going on right now!) as a great gift for your marriage. Make time for some skin-to-skin. Make time for massage. Make time for each other. Your marriage depends on it.

P.S. The discount offer from MELT is only good through Feb. 14 and it is a pretty significant price reduction. Check it out here!

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The Difference Between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

June 8, 2016 by Laura 5 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Have you noticed a difference in Mother’s Day vs. Father’s Day? In my experience, Mother’s Day seems to have us all focused on bowing down to mothers and spoiling them -recognizing all their hard work and amazing influence in the lives of their families. Not that I mind this too much. Yay for all mothers, everywhere. We are awesome!

Then comes Father’s Day. It seems like we somehow switch gears, letting Father’s Day become an opportunity to lecture men on how they should be better leaders and good role models.

I’m all about empowering men to lead and grow. But if all the sermons on Mother’s Day were about how I should step it up and be a better mom, I sure wouldn’t feel very honored. Not that I need accolades. That’s not my point. My point is this:

My man works hard. Most men work hard. Most men are incredibly good to their families and they all deserve to be honored just as much as the women.

Do you agree?

The Difference Between Mother's Day and Father's Day

I’m guilty too. I’m guilty of expecting to be spoiled on Mother’s Day then barely throwing together a small token of celebration for Matt once Father’s Day rolls around. Sure, maybe this is because I cook for him almost every day of the year and do all I can to take care of him all day, every day. But this year I’m struck by how much I need to honor him for all he does for our family. Truly, what would I do without him? He is a rock star in our home, an incredibly hard worker, and I’m quite sure I don’t tell him this often enough.

While my love language is “acts of service”, my husband’s love language is “physical touch.” If I stood behind him all day, every day, giving him a scalp rub – he would not mind even a little bit (so what if there was no dinner on the table that night?). So while I’ll be making him his favorite peach cobbler and other favorite meals for Father’s Day, I’ll do my best to spoil him with physical touch so he knows without a doubt how much he means to me. If we can squeeze it in between camp sessions for the boys, we’ll probably play a family game of Settlers of Catan since I know he’ll love that too. (You can be sure though that just because it’s Father’s Day, we will not have mercy and let him win. Whatever though because he almost wins anyway.)

Perfect for Spoiling Your Husband on Father’s Day

Matt and I got the MELT Massage for Couples video series about a year and a half ago. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving – and one that is a perfect way to speak Matt’s love language. We have loved learning more about giving great massages and you better believe I’ll be using these in my efforts to spoil Matt this Father’s Day.

A nice bonus right now is that the MELT folks are giving away their Foot Massage Videos for free with each MELT purchase! Plus they have some great free printables you can cut out and hide throughout the house to give little hints as to what is to come! :)

Weirded out by the idea of watching someone give a massage just so you can learn to give a massage? Don’t be. These videos are completely appropriate and modest. We continue to reference them and learn. I’m excited that the Foot Massage option comes free with purchase this time. Great bonus!

You can check it all out here and learn the specifics. I think it’s a great Father’s Day gift because it’s a win-win for both you and your man!

What has been your Mother’s Day/Father’s Day experience? Maybe I’m the only one who has noticed a difference in how we honor men and women. How are you planning to honor the men in your life this Father’s Day?

This post is sponsored by MELT Massage for Couples.

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Valentine Breakfast in Bed? Or Just Breakfast.

February 10, 2016 by Laura 4 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

heartpretzelssm

Heart-Shaped Pretzels.
I don’t have time to make these this year. Maybe you can.

Valentine’s Day falling on a Sunday this year is messing with me. Some people are like, “Yay, Sunday! I’ll have more time to make it special.” Me? I’m like, “Oh goodie. I get to try to make something special out of our busiest day of the week, which is followed by a day away from home at basketball games, which comes at the end of a crazy busy last ten days.”

Pity party much, Laura? Eh, more like simply trying to find my wits while figuring out the logistics of making Valentine’s Day fun for my fam. Sure we could wait and celebrate on the 15th – except that we can’t because that is Justus’ 16th birthday and we’ll be all about Justus that day.

Making Valentine’s Day special is going to be a family affair this year – which works just fine because our boys are big and capable. We’ve all been in cahoots, and if you recall, we plan to make a big fried chicken dinner together that day. This is ultimately a terrible plan for a Sunday meal for us since it takes so long to prepare and we are all usually starving by the time we get home from church. But whatever. I guess we’ll come home from church, start the chicken frying, then eat our salad course while we wait. I plan to have the mashed potatoes made ahead of time. The boys can make a dessert on Friday before we go to basketball games. There, that oughta do it.

So breakfast.

There will not be time for me to stand at the griddle making our traditional heart-shaped pancakes that morning before church. Plus I’d prefer not to dirty up the kitchen at breakfast, rush out the door, then come home to make fried chicken around a bunch of breakfast mess.

I’ve decided instead to make one of our family favorites: Oatmeal Breakfast Bars – with a few chocolate chips sprinkled in (because chocolate chips turn these into something Valentine-y, right?). I can bake them Friday since I’ll be gone all day Saturday. If I have time Sunday morning, I’ll make strawberry smoothies to go with the bars.

While thinking about breakfast for Valentine’s Day, I remembered a menu planning resource I created a few years ago. This has 31 Real Food Breakfast Ideas, all of which are linked to the recipes you’ll need. Help yourself! Hopefully it will give you some breakfast inspiration if you need it (for Valentine’s Day and beyond)!

I wanted to also remind you of a fantastic gift for Valentine’s Day that doesn’t involve the kids. (I mean, we love ’em – but Valentine’s Day night we anxiously shoo them off to bed so we can finally have some alone time.)

A MELT Massage For Couples package is so much better than any other gift I can think of. Most other gifts are eaten (chocolate) or die (flowers) and become only a memory. The MELT series is a forever gift. You can enjoy it on Valentine’s Day, the day after that, every other Tuesday, during times of joy, during times of stress… See? A forever gift.

I love (and need!) massages, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. Matt and I have really enjoyed the MELT Massage For Couples videos and lessons. As I’ve said before – these are very tastefully done so you don’t have to worry about anything weird. They simply teach great massage techniques to bless your relationship!

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I’m Going All out on Valentine’s Day By Staying In

February 3, 2016 by Laura 6 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

A huge thank you to MELT Massage for Couples for sponsoring this post!

Winner, Winner, Valentine Dinner

It was actually my 14-year old son’s idea.

“Mom, you know what we need to do sometime soon? We need to put together a full fried chicken dinner. We need to serve it in different ‘courses’ like with salad and rolls first, then the chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy and all that stuff, then a dessert.”

Wow. He’d been thinking about this, apparently. That and he was obviously hungry for fried chicken. (We roll chicken legs in whole wheat flour and sea salt then fry it on all sides in an electric skillet in palm shortening for about 45 minutes . It is so good.)

We decided that this was a perfect Valentine’s Day meal plan for our family. I told him we’d need to all work together to make it happen and that we could go all out to put together all the courses. Again, let me just say that I am amazed my 14-year old even came up with this.

Balancing Family Time and Couple Time on Valentine’s Day

There was a V-day a few years ago that I planned nothing and did nothing for our sons. Why? Because I assumed they were too old and too boy to care. Would you believe – that afternoon when they all realized that it was Feb. 14 they were all like, “Mom!! You didn’t make heart pancakes this morning! Where was the special red and pink lunch? Aren’t we doing anything for Valentine’s Day this year???”

How silly was I to assume they were beyond caring about my yearly attempt at lopsided heart-shaped pancakes?? My bad.

Ever since that year, I’ve made a few festive foods to make the day special for the boys. I love that they actually care. I love that this year we’re doing a little something different with our Fried Chicken Dinner and that we’ll all be working together to make it special for each other.

So what about making Valentine’s Day special for just Matt and me?

If you’ve read here long, you know that Matt and I don’t buy each other stuff on Feb. 14 and we rarely go out together to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s never been our thing. Typically Matt cooks a spaghetti dinner for us without any help from me. I love this. He loves this. It’s been good for our boys to see Dad doing something sweet and special for Mom – even with all six of us sitting around the table.

But later…

It’s fun to plan one-on-one couple time – and believe me when I say that now that our kids are older and busier and stay up later – Matt and I have to be intentional about finding and creating alone couple time.

Through the years, Matt has become my personal master masseuse. I am so spoiled by this. My shoulders would frequently be in knots if it weren’t for him taking the time to give me thorough massages. Me? I’m not as skilled as he, plus I am not even close to as strong physically. But I still give it my best shot. We both know that Valentine’s Day massages await us after our family Valentine time. (Fried chicken and massages. Does life get any better?)

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Remember when I shared about the MELT video series a few months ago? This is how we have been learning to give the massage of all massages. Matt and I really appreciate that these videos are so tastefully done. We’re learning massage skills and techniques without feeling weird. We continue to access the videos from time to time to learn more or to remind ourselves of what we previously learned. It’s a gift that keeps on giving and will keep on giving because massages? Yes please forever and always. (Fried chicken dinners are also welcome.)

For You and Your Spouse

It’s fun to hear about different couples’ Valentine’s day celebrations and traditions. Some love going out – some love staying in. Either way, ending the night (any night of the year!) with massages is a win for everyone.

If you’re interested in giving your spouse a gift that will last way beyond one romantic dinner or box of chocolates…oh my goodness MELT is where it’s at. I wanted to let you know that the Melt Video Series (which is usually $147) is being offered to Heavenly Homemaker’s readers for just $89 now through February 14. It’s a sweet deal and the final time MELT will be bundled at this price. Think your spouse would love this gift? Definitely check it out!

So in summary, we’ll be having a fantastic Valentine’s Day which includes none other than fried chicken and ultimate massages, with a few ugly heart pancakes thrown in for good measure. Staying in to enjoy special plans is my very favorite way to celebrate a holiday.

How about you?

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Learn more about the MELT Couple’s Massage sale here. Best date night ever!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!