Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

Family Update – More Kids, Extra Pink?!

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I couldn’t type one word of this post without tears. It’s what I do now apparently: snuggle and chase a bunch of little ones all day and cry a lot.

The tears are mostly the result of joy and awe spilling out all over my face. But there are also a few bucketfuls that are from heartache, frustration, fear, and longing. Never before these last 2.5 years of starting our foster care and adoption journey have I realized my absolute need for God’s strength and provision. I am so thankful for what I am learning. I am beyond thankful that God is perfectly in charge.

Wait. I’m not in charge? No, and it stinks. Except that it doesn’t, because so many times I pray for something that I think is best, and then God shows me that guess what? His ways are still best. Better than mine. Always.

So here’s a family life update, which is constantly changing, full, and often smells like a dirty diaper.

Family Update!

Well, let’s see, where to start? Our summer was full of long walks with the babies-turned-toddlers riding in the double stroller, and Brayden, our 6 year old walking beside me. We walked for miles, using the time to practice Brayden’s struggling speech skills. We did a lot of “unschooling” during this time noticing bits of nature, talking through math problems, finding things that started with different letters – so much learning. I will look back on this summer as one that was incredibly busy and wonderfully wonderful.

Elias graduated from high school and we were finally able to celebrate with a simple party in June. We had a cake pop and iced coffee bar (I highly recommend the iced coffee! Cake pops? They were a hit, but I’m not sure I want to take the time to make them again, ha!)

Justus was blessed to spend the summer in Texas as a youth ministry intern. As a result of his great experience, he came back in August ready to add another major to his original college plan. So now he is both a vocal performance major AND a ministry major. What a beautiful combination for whatever career God has for his future.

Just before school started we were amazed to get all seven boys together for our traditional back-to-school lunch. We didn’t go school shopping together like we usually do, and we didn’t go to the restaurant like we usually do. Instead, we grabbed take-out and ate together at the park.

From this:

To this:


Mid August, we got Elias and Justus moved into their college dorms/apartments. Even Keith helped. :)

Suddenly, Malachi went from the youngest of four boys to the oldest of four boys at home. He rocked this role from the start. We settled into our school year homeschooling a sophomore and a first grader while chasing two busy toddlers.

Just when we thought we couldn’t get any busier, God surprised us and changed our lives completely by putting a newborn bundle of pink in our lives. She’s a bio family member of our other bonus kids, so God’s yes was an immediate yes for us too. We were all smitten from the moment we laid eyes on her.



Our college boys come home with they can, and oh look, sometimes they have a special girl with them!! :) :) :)

Our littles love to pile on our big boys whenever they show up.


Asa doesn’t make it home often now that he is living and working in Lincoln. But he and his special girl come when they can and we treasure every minute.

Phew. So here we were. Trying to juggle this very full life with four awesome big kids, a fabulous six-year-old, two one-year-old toddlers, and a newborn. Homeschool much? Well, isn’t that the question of the year.

Malachi is a sophomore so he’s able to do a lot of his work on his own and with a tutor that God led us to hire for him. Homeschooling Brayden became a much bigger challenge, though the truth is, the challenge had started even before we got a newborn.

The past several months had revealed more of the struggles our little guy faces with academics and behavior. The time his needs were taking me every day took away from other important needs, and I found that even when I poured a huge amount of energy into his learning and behavior needs, I still wasn’t able to give him what he required. I regrouped, tried different ideas and methods, prayed, prayed, prayed.

God answered. I ignored Him though because He told us to send Brayden to school. Send our boy to school? No, that couldn’t be the answer. We’ve always homeschooled. I could do this. I would do this.

God said it again in a different way. Then again. Then again. Finally, I listened and we obeyed. Funny how I’ve always supported every person’s educational decisions for their family no matter what they chose, but goodness I had a hard time letting go of this for myself. I’ve grieved and cried because wow this change is a big one. I’ve always been a homeschool mom, I cried!! Then Justus said, pointing to Baby Sis, “Well up until two weeks ago you’ve always been a boy mom.” Well isn’t that the truth? Change might be hard, but it doesn’t have to be bad. Change can be very, very good.

God is faithful and good. He paved this out and eased Brayden’s transition, and here we are. Brayden has been going to public school for two months now, getting the extra help and resources that he so badly needed. Truly, we are so grateful.

So back to being more than just a boy mom. What a huge change, and well, it’s alright I guess. ;)

We try to sleep when we can. My kitchen floor is almost always gross. Our toddlers are almost two. One of them is likely to go back to bio family soon. Keith (our adopted toddler) is Mommy and Daddy’s sidekick whenever possible. And look at this! Asa and his film crew came from Lincoln to feature Keith in a special video. I’ll let you know when it comes out!

Malachi holds Baby Sis (diapers are a no-go though!) so I can chase toddlers and make dinner. Just when we started to feel settled in again with our newest little one, God answered a prayer we’ve prayed for a very long time…

Another bio family member of our littles gets to move in with us too! So now there’s not just one girl, but two!

Friends? We have a GIRL ROOM in our house now!

Our newest one is sweet as can be and constantly amazes us with the level of girlness she has brought to our home. Princesses, dress-up clothes, hair styling, dollies, crafts, sparkles – once again, we are smitten. I walked into the boys’ room one day this week to witness this:

So this is our life now. Seven boys. Two girls. For today. And we’re truly learning that we must live just one day at a time.

God’s mercies are new every morning. We ask for your prayers and we thank you for your constant encouragement and support. Whatever you do, don’t underestimate what God may have for your life. If He surprises you by bringing you something unexpected, lean in, and be open to all He wants to teach you through it. The challenges that come with the changes will be met with God’s strength in the most beautiful way you can imagine.

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An Update on our School Year (Our Schedule, Curriculum, Homeschool, Public School, College, oh my!)

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Way back in August when I shared this very delicious Whole Wheat Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Muffin recipe, I mentioned a bit about our school year and our family Bible time. Several asked for more information, so here I am, a month and a half later, finally getting around to writing a few details about our schedule and curriculum.

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The good news: So far, this year isn’t as difficult as the past three years have been. Thank you, God. Our high school aged sons had some tougher classes during those years that threatened to push both student and mother over the edge of sanity. Everything in comparison seems easier this year, even though it’s still hard work. So here we are, not losing our sanity. Mostly.

This year we have:

Asa ~ age 20, a college junior

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Of course he’s not still homeschooling or even living at home, but I thought you might like an update on him anyway. :) Asa lives on the York College campus across town, so we still get to see him from time to time! He’s in the thick of his Business Communications degree plan, is known as “the video guy” on campus, and is well on his way to making a career of videography and photography. He’s paying his way through school with his camera, by studying hard so he can keep his academic scholarship (he has to maintain a 3.75 gpa or higher, phew!), plus he’s got a soccer and a choir scholarship. Somehow he keeps up with all of this, along with heavy involvement on campus, without ever sleeping. Also, he has an adorable girlfriend. Be still my heart.

Justus ~ age 17.5, a high school senior

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He is all but finished with his high school graduation requirements, so he is focusing now on getting more college credits under his belt. (We heart dual credits!) He’s taking World Literature on the York College campus, and Intro To Business at the public high school for college credit.

Big News! Nebraska changed their requirements this year for homeschoolers. In order to participate in extracurricular activities at the public school, homeschoolers only have to take two classes (which is much more doable for our family compared to previous state requirements). So Justus and Elias are taking two classes each at our local high school so that they can play soccer with the team in the spring. So exciting!

Justus is taking piano and voice lessons each week, choir at the public school, and produces music on software at home each week too. Perhaps it goes without saying that he is planning to be a music major in college next year.

Elias ~ age 15.5, a high school sophomore 

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This kid is hitting his high school basics hard this semester so that he can begin dual credits next semester (or next year…we’re still working out some of the specifics). He’s taking Choir and Weight Lifting at the public high school for his two required classes which will make him eligible to play soccer with the team. We chose those because there’s no homework involved, seeing as his homeschool academic plate is very full this year (details below).

Elias takes voice lessons each week and has no idea what he wants to do as a career in the future. It will be fun to watch God reveal that to him in the coming years!

Malachi, age 12.5, a 7th grader

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This guy is so full of ideas I can’t keep up. He’d rather ignore all school work and instead develop his ideas all day (mostly with LEGOs and YouTube, both of which he’d like to turn into businesses). Unfortunately, he has mean parents who still make him do his Pre-Algebra. So, he works hard to get his school work done by lunch, if possible, so that he can go with ALL THE IDEAS all afternoon.

He is on both a city team and a club team for soccer this fall and is busy writing two scripts for a church middle school event in the spring.

All three of our boys who still live at home will play for our homeschool basketball team this winter (Malachi’s first year!). They also all referee soccer for our city rec league, and some for club teams too, which has been great money for them through the years. They all work with Matt here and there doing various handy man or lawn care jobs, which is great for their work ethic, skills training, and savings accounts!

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What does our school year schedule look like?

6:30ish I get up and have quiet time with God before the household gets up. The boys wake up to their alarm clocks so they can be ready and at the table at 8:00.

8:00 Our family enjoys breakfast and Bible time together (I explained more about our family Bible time here).

8:40 Justus and Elias leave for Choir at the public school. Elias has Weight Lifting right after that, so Justus hangs out in the library and does school work during that period.

Meanwhile, Malachi and I read World History together (Sonlight curriculum) at home. Then he heads to a computer to work on Pre-Algebra (Teaching Textbooks) in the hopes that he’ll be done with that computer before Elias gets home. I answer emails and do other small blogging jobs while staying nearby to answer any math questions Malachi has.

10:30 Justus and Elias get home from public school. Justus practices his piano, guitar, and does any college class homework that needs to be done.

Elias starts on Geometry (Teaching Textbooks), then moves on to English, Zoology, and Economics (all guided by Sonlight curriculum suggestions, but adapted by Matt and me to fit his needs/learning style/state requirements). He finishes his day with Spanish (DuoLingo) usually around 2:00. We’re trying to squeeze in some ACT practice right now as well.

Malachi does his English, Science, and Reading (all Sonlight curriculum), then moves on to Spanish (DuoLingo). If he’s diligent, he can be finished with his work by noon.

12:00 Justus heads out to his Intro to Business class at the public school.

1:00 Everyone (and by this, I mean everyone but Asa, of course) is home and we eat lunch together, if possible.

1:45 On Tuesday/Thursday, Justus heads to the York College campus for his World Lit class. Elias and Malachi finish any work they have left. This is the point I can usually get a little bit of uninterrupted blogging work done, maybe, sort of. (Not that it matters, but it is 3:47 right now and I have been interrupted no less than 13 times in the past 30 minutes. Working from home is so relaxing and productive.)

The rest of the day and evening involves soccer games, church activities, or ministry opportunities. Often we don’t eat dinner together until around 8:00 pm during the fall. However, our boys’ homeschool basketball season is about to begin, which will mean that they need to eat and leave by 6:30 on Tues/Thurs evenings.

Our School Year - Homeschool, Public, and College

Through each full day, God always provides for our spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. My dirty kitchen though? Well, I’ll get that clean after all the kids graduate.

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I Haven’t Been a Perfect Homeschool Mom, and It Stinkin’ Doesn’t Matter

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Feelings of failure can so easily come creeping in…

On the day we once again push science lessons to the back burner. As I read a paragraph that my 6th grader has written and see that run on sentences are what make his world go round (and round and round and round). When I think about the upcoming ACT for my high schooler and break out in a sweat because there are bound to be questions on the test we haven’t covered, plus I have never even taught him to fill in circles with a number two pencil. When I hear public school friends talk about all they are doing and realize with regret that some of those great ideas never even crossed my mind. When I see that my son who is old enough to know better has written “take food to our nabers” on our Christmas to-do list. (That would be n-e-i-g-h-b-o-r-s. How has he not learned that yet?)

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There are doubts that swirl around in the back of the minds of every homeschool mom at one time or another. These are the doubts that keep some moms from choosing to homeschool in the first place. 

  • I can’t possibly teach my kids everything they need to know.
  • Even though we’re doing a lot, there are so many things I haven’t gotten around to teaching my kids.
  • I don’t see how all the other moms get through all the material. I’m not keeping up.
  • Other people are doing such neat projects! I’m not doing nearly enough.
  • If only I was more organized…
  • Will my kids really be prepared for college?

There are so many cool things I haven’t done with my kids, so many lessons that haven’t been taught, so many experiences my kids haven’t experienced, so many field trips that haven’t been taken. We have yet to have a school year in which we actually get through every recommended book on the list. And I’m not proud to admit it, but I just now finally got around to teaching our 8th grader what a synonym is. As you can imagine, his life has changed dramatically {greatly; fiercely}.

Early this fall, I hesitantly enrolled our 11th grader in a college course. Doubts crept in:  Would he be ready? Had I taught him enough to succeed in a college level class? Did he have any idea how to take notes while his professor was speaking? And most important of all, without me there to remind him, would he remember to put periods at the ends of his sentences???

My dear friends, this is what I’ve learned and what all of us – public, private, or home school parents and teachers – need to understand:  Our kids don’t need to know everything. They just need to know how to learn.

Do you hear me? Nobody knows everything. It isn’t possible. We all have different gifts and interests and abilities. We all learn differently. We all retain information differently. As long as we have the tools and know-how we need so that we can figure things out, we are good to go.

Can’t spell? Learn to use a dictionary and spell check. Don’t know how many feet in a mile? Look it up. Don’t know who our 21st president was? Well, you might lose at a game of Trivial Pursuit, but otherwise, if you find yourself in a desperate situation in which you must know this information, I’m pretty sure that a three second online search will tell you that it was none other than Chester A. Arthur, who succeeded James Garfield upon his assassination. (Thank you, Wikipedia. We will all sleep better tonight.)

But back to Asa’s first college class:  Beyond standing up in front of a class full of college students to give about a dozen speeches throughout the semester in his Basic Speech college course, our 11th grader also had to put together thorough outlines for each speech which followed Monroe’s Motivated Sequence. He had to write two papers, following MLA standards. He had to cite sources to show where he got all of his information for his speeches and papers. I had taught him none of this at home prior to his taking the class. So guess what? He studied and researched and asked questions and he learned how to do all of these things.

He nailed this class and is ending the semester with a big fat A. Not because he’s a genius. Not because he’s an above average student. And certainly not because he has had a perfect homeschool educational experience. The kid simply knows how to work hard, how to follow directions, and how to learn.

Asa’s college class experience has been a wonderful enforcement to me that my teaching imperfections and all the holes in our schooling truly do not matter. (And all the parents everywhere let out an enormous collective sigh of relief.)

We’ll keep working hard and continue to give our kids a well-rounded education to the best of our ability. We’ll teach our kids to work hard, to be responsible, and to learn how to learn. We’ll let go of the feelings of not measuring up. We’ll let life be our greatest classroom.

When one of our kids spells barely like barley, we will not fall on the floor in a panic attack, writhing in self loathing wondering how our child will ever succeed in life since he has not mastered perfect spelling of every “ely” and “ley” word in the dictionary.

And we can all giggle together about the fact that as I was completing the writing of this post, one of my kids came up behind me, looked thoughtfully at what I was writing and said, “Hmm. I think you need to put a comma after the word “Mom” in your title. Would you look at that? It looks as if I’ve taught him something after all. (And all the readers everywhere glanced back up to the title of this post to see that indeed, there is now a comma after the word “Mom.”)

 

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Are Home Schooled Kids Socially Awkward? Do They Live in a Bubble?

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I am often asked if I feel that home schooled kids are “socially awkward”. In addition, a few months ago, I received this great question from a reader, Jill:

I’m debating homeschooling. My fiance’s biggest worry is that public school, for all its downsides, allows for something homeschooling does not – ample exposure to people who may not look, think, behave, or live like you. In other words, he sees homeschooling as keeping one’s child in a bubble, away from ideas and people who have a lifestyle the parents don’t agree with.

I would love a post/discussion on how true or untrue this perception is. How do homeschooling parents teach their kids to interact with others – other kids, grown-ups, other cultures, other faiths, etc. How do you prepare your child for life in the “real world” where not everyone’s cultures/values/faith/etc. matches what goes on in their own home.

These discussions are so helpful, by the way – I’m gaining great insight!

I love Jill’s thoughts and appreciate that she shared her concern. How wise of her to give such good consideration to parenting her kids, instead of just jumping into what sounds good at the moment.

When we first decided to home school our kids (when our oldest was beginning Kindergarten 11 years ago), many asked us, “But what about their social skills?” 

It’s a valid concern. All parents want their kids to be able to grow up to be “normal”, productive adults who know how to handle real world, real life problems and situations.

So first, let me say this, which is my answer to the question, “Are home schooled kids socially awkward?”

I have known some home schooled kids who are socially awkward. I have also known some public school kids who are socially awkward. I have known some private school kids who are socially awkward. I have known grown adults who are socially awkward. I have had coworkers who are socially awkward. I have gone to church with people who are socially awkward. I have stood in line at the grocery store with people who are socially awkward. I have had lovely conversations with people who are socially awkward.

Some people are just socially awkward. Sometimes I am socially awkward.  Sometimes all of us are socially awkward. 

And after a while, reading the word awkward over and over again just becomes awkward.

So my point is:  home school does not create a socially awkward student or adult, any more or less than public school or private school. That statement, in my opinion, is a fact. (Ha, I made myself giggle when I first wrote that sentence, which I have to admit, feels a tad bit…socially awkward.)  ;)

What about the question of home schooled kids living in a bubble?  I think this is a great question that Jill asks. Home schooling does keep a child from some experiences that they may otherwise have if they were in a school environment. So, is this wise? Is it providing your kids with the ability to get along in the “real world” some day?

I can’t speak for all home school families – although I do think I speak for many. In our experience, we have found that while in some ways we are protecting them – in many ways we are actually preparing them. Preparing them for the “real world”. Providing experiences for them that will teach them how to deal with the elderly, the handicapped, the foreign, the younger, the older, those that look different, those that sound different, those who don’t believe in Jesus. Our kids’ experiences just look different than they look for those who are in a schoolroom setting.

Our kids get an incredible amount of rich social interaction with all varieties of people when we go to church; when we participate in various ministries; when we invite people to our home; when they take part in many various home school and community activities and sports; when they do odd jobs for others with their dad; when they go to the bank or store or library or post office…the list is endless really.

Am I afraid my kids don’t get enough social interaction or that they live in a bubble? Absolutely not. On the contrary, I am grateful for the vast opportunities they have to develop social skills while they interact frequently with people of all varieties of ages, abilities, disabilities, and seasons in life. And I’ve gotta say – there are days I wish my kids’ social lives would slow down just a little bit so that we could get something done at home!

The real world involves all kinds of opportunities to learn and grow that a school classroom can’t always provide. And admittedly, the school classroom provides some cool things that we can’t provide at home. But we’re okay with that. No school – home, public, or private can do all and be all and provide all. 

But above all, no matter how you school your kids, the main goal should be to teach them to be servants of God. And hey, guess what? I’ve known home schoolers who are wonderful servants. I’ve also known public school kids who are wonderful servants. I’ve known private school kids who are wonderful servants…

They all have great parents. I bet you’re one of them. :)

I am always prayerful and careful when writing a post like this. I would deeply appreciate it if you take the same kind of care as you leave a comment. There will be no kid or parent bashing allowed – whether it is related to home, public, or private school. Keep your comments kind and positive – anything less would just be downright socially awkward.  :)

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