Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

A Personal Question For All the Women

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Did I ever tell you about the time I was so busy taking care of everyone in the world, nourishing myself with Pepsi and chocolate chip cookies, and so obviously neglecting my own needs that I landed myself in the hospital for several days, unable to properly care for my husband and little boys for well over a month?

Fun times.

I started learning to take better care of myself after that, but it’s weird. Even though I knew I needed to, I still felt guilty. Guilty any time I laid down for a much needed nap. Guilty any time I spent grocery money on a cart full of produce. Guilty any time it seemed I was putting my needs over those in my care.

a-personal-question-for-all-the-women

Can you relate?

Are you taking good care of yourself?

I mean really taking good care of yourself – being intentional to make yourself a priority? Or are your hormones, emotions, food cravings, and moods running amok?

Yes, it’s hard. I know it’s hard. And very much counter-intuitive. After all, a good Christian woman puts others above herself, right?

Ehhh, I’m not so sure.

Lessons from the airplane and also Mother Teresa

You know how before you take off for a flight, the stewardess instructs that in an emergency, you should always secure your own air mask before assisting someone else? That always sounded so backward to me. How could I possibly consider taking care of my own air mask before helping my children put on theirs?

(Yes, because apparently I think I can help them better if I’m dead.)

I think we get the logic but have a difficult time putting this truth into practice – the truth that in order to take care of others we have to take care of ourselves first.

I was reading a book to my boys recently (ok fine, two years ago) about Mother Teresa. I was so interested to read that even during a major food shortage in India with starving people all around her, Mother Teresa insisted that those serving alongside her eat a large helping of food each day. Why? Because she knew that those caring for others had to stay healthy and strong. That they needed energy to do what they did day after day. That if they didn’t take care of themselves, they could in no way take care of others.

She wasn’t asking the servants to be selfish. She was asking them to be healthy – so that they could serve selflessly.

Taking care of ourselves so that we can serve others is a selfless act.

So how about you?

Are you taking good care of yourself?

Obviously, no matter what we do, we’re going to get sick and run down sometimes. It’s no fun, but it’s life. But I tell you what. If there’s anything I can do to have optimum energy, to keep my moods from swinging from pole to pole, to help myself be fit, to avoid headaches and feeling sluggish – you better believe I’m going to do it. I am so much better as a wife, mom, and friend when I am making my health a priority.

How about you?

I know I frequently harp on getting plenty of water and nourishing food. (You’ve been listening, right?) But there’s more.

As women, we can really be all over the place with hormones and emotions. (Or MaYbE tHaT’s JuSt Me?) This truly isn’t just “our cross to bear.” We can find overall health in this too.

We can find ourselves rested and nourished and well. We can find ourselves at peace and in a place of calm as we enjoy our families, our work, our ministries, and our down time.

We can.

Women, let’s make our health a priority. Then we can selflessly serve those we are called to serve.

Eat well, drink well, rest often. Pray always. Do what you need to do, with God’s strength, so that you can enjoy great health as you serve others.

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Cleaning With a Purpose

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In case you didn’t know from all the subtle or not so subtle complaints I’ve dropped through the years: I do not like to clean. I do enjoy a clean house, but the work that it takes to make it that way? Ugh. I’d much rather be in the kitchen cooking up a storm or at my computer writing fun articles.

Like many aspects of life that have to be done whether we like it or not, cleaning is necessary. And not just every once in a while. Dishes have to be done daily (hourly?!), floors need to be swept frequently, and please let’s not talk about the bathrooms.

clean_bathroom

Are you kidding? That’s not my bathroom.
I just found the picture online.

I’m not into having a perfect, spotless home. It’s just not my gift, and I am okay with that. I hear God calling me to more important things than using a toothbrush to scrub the crevices around my – actually – I can’t even pretend to know how to finish that sentence. What do people use toothbrushes to scrub around? Well, whatever it is, I’m not into it. If you are, please do go for it! God gives us all different passions and skills.

What I have been recently convicted of, however, is that no longer should my attitude be that of cleaning just to get it done or so that I won’t die of embarrassment when someone comes over and sees the filth. Those really have been my reasons in the past.

While one of my gifts has always been hospitality, recently God has put on my heart that our home is to be open and used more frequently to bless others. He gave us a great, big house with plenty of food and fun to share.

Based on that specific calling from God (because this would never come from me – I’m the one who doesn’t like cleaning, remember?) I have found so much joy recently in preparing my home for the guests God continues to put on our doorstep.

No longer am I cleaning to save myself from embarrassment or so that guests won’t think I’m a big slob. (Can you say, self-focused??)  I am now cleaning my house, preparing our guest room, planning meals, and making comfortable beds so that my guests will feel blessed and comfortable in our home.

Do we all need to feel like our homes are perfect before we open our doors to others? Absolutely not. My guests are not going to walk in and feel like they’ve walked into a show room. Far from it. Nerf bullets may still fly by their faces while we visit, dust will be found in places that I forgot to notice, and someone may likely come across a broken pencil having a party with the crumbs under a couch cushion. An unapologetic smile and a warm, relaxed welcome absolutely trumps all white glove tested territory in a home. I will not allow myself to feel like a failure when someone drops by and I have to scoot boxes, Lego creations, and folded laundry out of the way so that they can find a place to sit.

But as I scrub toilets, get out clean sheets and towels, and vacuum under beds, I will now be doing it with a new and refreshing purpose: so that my guests will feel peace and joy from being in my home. (As well as the occasional breeze from a nerf bullet whizzing by their face.)

Do you enjoy having people in your home? If not, what is holding you back?

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Serving Trumps a Pity Party

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We had finally reached the end of what is typically one of the busiest weeks of the year. 

It was now finally Saturday, and we had been gone all day long at one of our son’s soccer games out of town. The kitchen was a picture of chaos, with coolers and leftovers from our packed lunch sitting in the perfect place for me to trip over while I tried to throw together a late dinner. The crusty dishes from breakfast were still piled high in the sink. Fruit gnats had found our compost bucket, which, I might add, was beginning to smell nasty and fermented. The tomato sauce splattered all over the stove when I poured it into the pot to make spaghetti. 

In the meantime, I was moving super slowly. I felt very, very tired. Plus, for some unknown reason, my left knee – the knee I’ve had trouble with off and on for 22 years since I injured it in high school – was causing me a lot of pain. I wrapped ice around it while I cut up veggies for dinner and just kept moving. Slowly I focused on finishing dinner, getting everyone fed, and getting the kitchen in decent shape so that I could just go to bed. 

Oh yes, and I also concentrated very hard on feeling sorry for myself. All I could think of was, “I’m sooo tired. My knee hurts. I just want to go to bed.” I couldn’t have smiled if you would have paid me, and I really didn’t feel like answering questions or talking to my family.

And then, someone showed up at our door. 

Oh yeah.  I had forgotten that we had told a young friend of ours he could spend the night with us. But there he was, and what could I do but find some sort of pleasant look to greet him with? I pulled a lopsided smile out from way down deep inside my toes, and welcomed him in.

This friend of ours has some disabilities and special needs, which meant that heading to bed any time soon just wasn’t going to happen. But he is incredibly delightful to have around, and he needed to be served.

I invited him into the kitchen with me (scooting the coolers out of the way as best I could) and began to serve him dinner and visit with him. He shared a fun story about something that had happened earlier in the day, which made me laugh in spite of myself.

Several minutes later, as I fed him and helped him with various needs, it occurred to me that I wasn’t quite as tired as I had been. I had forgotten all about my aching knee. The mess in the kitchen didn’t look so terrible. And in fact, I was feeling quite joyful and energetic.

This young man has taught me many life lessons, and this time was no exception:   If you’re down, feeling sorry for yourself, and otherwise choosing to throw yourself a pity party…consider who you might serve. Looking outward toward meeting the needs of others will take the focus off of “self” every time.

Disclaimer:  Obviously, we all need to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves before we serve others, otherwise we have nothing left to give. The point of this post isn’t suggesting that you give of yourself until you pass out. The point is to stop feeling sorry for yourself. And if you’re having a hard time doing that, find someone to serve. It works every time.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!