socialization Archives | Heavenly Homemakers

I’m about to tell you how homeschooling is exactly like summer break. I promise I’m not crazy (well…) so hear me out! After you’ve read this, then I’d love for you to weigh in and tell me what you think!

Our family is about to launch into our 17th year of homeschooling. As you can imagine, we have heard many comments and questions about our choice to go against the norm of “regular schooling.” Most people are very supportive and kind! But in general, if a person is unfamiliar with homeschooling, they might say statements that make it very clear that there is a lot of confusion about what homeschooling actually is.

Here are some of our favorite comments:

“You homeschool?! I can’t even tell!” (Apparently, we still look like actual people.)
“What grade are you in?” (I’m an eighth grader.) “Ok, but what grade would you be in if you actually went to school?” (I’m an eighth grader.)
“But aren’t you worried about socialization?” (Don’t worry. We all call and talk to Grandma once a week.)

Ah, homeschoolers and socialization…

I used to become defensive and even angry about how often homeschoolers and socialization get brought up in worried conversation by well-meaning people. But now I realize that people can’t help knowing what they don’t know. After all, I don’t know what I don’t know, do you? (Huh?)

Homeschooling is unfamiliar territory to many. So it seems that often people assume that those who homeschool: always stay at home, do all things at home, never leave the home, and don’t really know how to function outside of the home. And also, we have no friends.

{Here is proof that one day when our kids were little,
we unlocked the door and let them outside.
Then we met some friends at the park for lunch.
The kids haven’t been outside since that day, of course,
because we homeschool and that means that we are always at home.}

Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone. Each homeschool family goes about life, education, and socialization just a bit differently. (Hold on. Each public/private school family goes about life, education, and socialization just a bit differently too. Can it be?!)

But allow me to share for a few moments about the social life of our family of homeschoolers. And as we all head into summer break, here are my thoughts on how homeschooling and summer break are much the same. Hear me out. I think my thoughts make sense!

Some call it “jumping on the trampoline.”
We call it “recess.” Or if we’re feeling extra homeschooly, “Physical Education.”
But usually, we just call it “jumping on the trampoline.”

How Homeschooling is Exactly Like Summer Break

Let’s go back to the fears people have about homeschooled kids not being at school all day, and therefore not being with people all day, or ever. Are you there in your mind? Are you picturing the pale, lonely children?

And now allow me to ask this: Why do people not have the same exact fears about kids being out of public/private school all summer long during break? “Oh no! The kids are not going to be in school for three entire months this summer! What will they do about socialization?!”

Said no one ever.

No one. Not one person is thinking or saying that. And do you know why? Because everyone knows that kids who are home from school during summer break are not just sitting at home day after day, night after night, all alone, doing nothing, and seeing no one.

Instead, what do kids and families do during summer break?

They go swimming with friends. They travel and see cool parts of the country and do things they may or may not have experienced before. They go to camps. They hang out at friend’s houses. They invite people over to hang out at their house. They go visit extended family. They celebrate special holidays. They work on exciting projects at home. They take part in the summer library programs. They take advantage of other special summer programs and activities their town offers. They have cook-outs with friends, and playdates with friends, and when all is said and done, they have been spending so much time with people that every once in a while, they need to take a day off to have a little break from being with so many people. It is, after all, summer break.

And this, my friends, is exactly what a homeschooler’s life is like during the school year. (Except for the swimming part. Because of the winter and the snow.)

What does my homeschooling family do all throughout the school year?

Well, indeed, we sit at home and do our school work. We do algebra and history and English and science and all the rest, just like a public school kid sits in a classroom quietly doing school work. But if we are disciplined and work hard, our school work only takes a few hours each day. So what else do we do?

We hang out with friends, at our house or at their house or at a park or at an event. We meet with other homeschoolers for special science presentation days, or for P.E. or for any number of educational activities. We go on field trips with other families.

We visit our elderly or disabled friends, helping them with jobs they are unable to do. We host or go to church activities and events, worship services, and youth group outings. We volunteer at the homeless shelter, visiting with them and feeding them meals.

We go to soccer or basketball practice, depending on the season, and sometimes spend entire weekends at tournaments with our kids’ teammates and their families. We discover the hobbies we love, and we spend hours creating and developing our talents. We invite friends to do this with us, because that makes it all more fun.

We learn necessary life skills like how to cook, how to budget, how to clean a toilet, how to shop wisely and save money, and how to make a deposit at the bank.

We have prom, jobs, ministries, and musicals. We have friends our own age, friends who are older, friends who are younger, friends who are a lot like us, and friends who are much different. We are friends with homeschoolers, public schoolers, and private schoolers. We have friends all over the state and in many other states (most of whom we’ve met at summer church camps).

We are often so busy being social, we have to intentionally set aside time to actually…

Stay home and do our school work.

True story.

So see? Homeschooling is exactly like summer break. (Except for the break part, ha!)

Just like most kids and families make all kinds of social plans and enjoy many outings during a summer break, so do most homeschooled kids and families during the school year.

No one worries about a kid “getting socialized” during their summer break away from school – because kids don’t just stay home and do nothing during summer break! In the same way, my homeschooled kids have more friends and activities and outings than I can even keep up with all year long!

What do you think? Obviously, summer break and homeschooling is not an apples-to-apples comparison!! I just wanted to have a little bit of fun explaining some similarities and logic behind why fearing for the social lives of a homeschooler is entirely unnecessary.

Now, if we could figure out how to make homeschooling actually as easy as lazing around in the sunshine on a hot summer day, that would be great. :)

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If you are a homeschool family:

Or even if you’re not. :)

Time is running out on this gigantic special offer. So hurry over to grab all the hugely discounted digital books for your family! Offer ends May 22.

I stock up every year on the latest and greatest for my family’s school needs. After all, since we’re home ALL DAY LONG, never being social, we need all the school work we can get. ;)

geographysm

I am often asked if I feel that home schooled kids are “socially awkward”. In addition, a few months ago, I received this great question from a reader, Jill:

I’m debating homeschooling. My fiance’s biggest worry is that public school, for all its downsides, allows for something homeschooling does not – ample exposure to people who may not look, think, behave, or live like you. In other words, he sees homeschooling as keeping one’s child in a bubble, away from ideas and people who have a lifestyle the parents don’t agree with.

I would love a post/discussion on how true or untrue this perception is. How do homeschooling parents teach their kids to interact with others – other kids, grown-ups, other cultures, other faiths, etc. How do you prepare your child for life in the “real world” where not everyone’s cultures/values/faith/etc. matches what goes on in their own home.

These discussions are so helpful, by the way – I’m gaining great insight!

I love Jill’s thoughts and appreciate that she shared her concern. How wise of her to give such good consideration to parenting her kids, instead of just jumping into what sounds good at the moment.

When we first decided to home school our kids (when our oldest was beginning Kindergarten 11 years ago), many asked us, “But what about their social skills?”

It’s a valid concern. All parents want their kids to be able to grow up to be “normal”, productive adults who know how to handle real world, real life problems and situations.

So first, let me say this, which is my answer to the question, “Are home schooled kids socially awkward?”

I have known some home schooled kids who are socially awkward. I have also known some public school kids who are socially awkward. I have known some private school kids who are socially awkward. I have known grown adults who are socially awkward. I have had coworkers who are socially awkward. I have gone to church with people who are socially awkward. I have stood in line at the grocery store with people who are socially awkward. I have had lovely conversations with people who are socially awkward.

Some people are just socially awkward. Sometimes I am socially awkward. Sometimes all of us are socially awkward.

And after a while, reading the word awkward over and over again just becomes awkward.

So my point is: home school does not create a socially awkward student or adult, any more or less than public school or private school. That statement, in my opinion, is a fact. (Ha, I made myself giggle when I first wrote that sentence, which I have to admit, feels a tad bit…socially awkward.) ;)

What about the question of home schooled kids living in a bubble? I think this is a great question that Jill asks. Home schooling does keep a child from some experiences that they may otherwise have if they were in a school environment. So, is this wise? Is it providing your kids with the ability to get along in the “real world” some day?

I can’t speak for all home school families – although I do think I speak for many. In our experience, we have found that while in some ways we are protecting them – in many ways we are actually preparing them. Preparing them for the “real world”. Providing experiences for them that will teach them how to deal with the elderly, the handicapped, the foreign, the younger, the older, those that look different, those that sound different, those who don’t believe in Jesus. Our kids’ experiences just look different than they look for those who are in a schoolroom setting.

Our kids get an incredible amount of rich social interaction with all varieties of people when we go to church; when we participate in various ministries; when we invite people to our home; when they take part in many various home school and community activities and sports; when they do odd jobs for others with their dad; when they go to the bank or store or library or post office…the list is endless really.

Am I afraid my kids don’t get enough social interaction or that they live in a bubble? Absolutely not. On the contrary, I am grateful for the vast opportunities they have to develop social skills while they interact frequently with people of all varieties of ages, abilities, disabilities, and seasons in life. And I’ve gotta say – there are days I wish my kids’ social lives would slow down just a little bit so that we could get something done at home!

The real world involves all kinds of opportunities to learn and grow that a school classroom can’t always provide. And admittedly, the school classroom provides some cool things that we can’t provide at home. But we’re okay with that. No school – home, public, or private can do all and be all and provide all.

But above all, no matter how you school your kids, the main goal should be to teach them to be servants of God. And hey, guess what? I’ve known home schoolers who are wonderful servants. I’ve also known public school kids who are wonderful servants. I’ve known private school kids who are wonderful servants…

They all have great parents. I bet you’re one of them. :)

I am always prayerful and careful when writing a post like this. I would deeply appreciate it if you take the same kind of care as you leave a comment. There will be no kid or parent bashing allowed – whether it is related to home, public, or private school. Keep your comments kind and positive – anything less would just be downright socially awkward. :)

How Homeschooling is Exactly Like Summer Break (Hear Me Out!)

Ah, homeschoolers and socialization…

How Homeschooling is Exactly Like Summer Break

What does my homeschooling family do all throughout the school year?

Stay home and do our school work.

If you are a homeschool family:

Are Home Schooled Kids Socially Awkward? Do They Live in a Bubble?