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What I Add to My Grocery Cart to Give Away

September 30, 2020 by Laura Leave a Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

A few weeks ago, I encouraged us to consider how we can all be more aware of ways we can help feed people in need. Today I want to share more specifics of what I add to my grocery cart to give away.

Please know that this post is meant to inspire and offer tips and suggestions to get your juices flowing as you consider ways you can help people who might be facing food insecurity or who need love to be shown to them in the form of food. Your spiritual gifts are different than my spiritual gifts, so you may never give away food, but you might fix people’s cars or give people rides or wash people’s laundry or make encouraging phone calls or whatever it is God has you doing because of your gifts!!!

But if you feel called to help people with food needs they might have, here’s a post to share ways that work for me that just might work for you too!

Who I’m Blessed to Share With

First, I’ll tell you about some of the people that I often share food with so you know who I’m thinking of as I’m making grocery purchases for people beyond my family.

  • College Students – We feed a large group each Sunday after church for “Sunday Lunch.” I often send leftovers in disposable containers, extra cookies in baggies, slices of quick bread on a paper plate, and fresh fruit for them to have in their dorm rooms.
  • Disabled Widows – I’ve met several ladies in town who are on a fixed income for one reason or another. If anything out of the ordinary comes up during the month, sometimes their grocery budget takes a hit. They know to call me if they are running low on groceries (though they don’t always like to ask so I try to check in with them regularly). I take them small bags of staples and sometimes a small loaf of homemade bread or other homemade goodies if I have it.
  • Families – There are several families I check in with from time to time to see if they could use a few extra bags or boxes of groceries. Then I go through my freezers and pantry and see what all I’ve been able to stock up on when it was on sale. I put together a variety of staples and even treats if I have them. Sometimes I call on some friends to help me with this, simply because it’s so great to get others involved in the teamwork of loving people.
  • Local Mission – We have relationships with the employees at our local Living Water Rescue Mission so I keep in touch with them about their food needs. They feed their residents and anyone who walks through the door three meals each day. Plus they give free food boxes to families who have need. They rely on donations for this, so our family donates when we can. But better yet, we’ve gotten our entire church involved in collecting food when the mission was starting to get really low on supply!

Here’s our Elias standing with our van completely filled with groceries donated by our church members. He helped pick it up and deliver so they took this pic to post on their mission Facebook page.

What I Add to My Grocery Cart to Give Away

What you’ll see below are foods I buy for my family regularly. So I find that it’s easy to buy extra whether we need it or not. This helps with my orgniziation so that I always have food on hand to make simple meals for my family. But it’s also been so nice to have these extras ready to bag up and deliver to others. Here’s what I often “over buy” and share:

  • Sale items – especially meat mark-downs because this is such a valued gift I can give families.
  • Canned Fruit
  • Frozen Veggies
  • Applesauce Cups
  • Cereal
  • Instant Oatmeal Packets
  • Fresh Fruit – If there are great deals on fruit I’ll buy several bags and hand them out to whoever God puts on my heart.
  • Pasta
  • Pasta Sauce
  • Rice
  • Granola Bars
  • Fun Coffee Creamers – Because the college kids who come over love coffee! We make several pots on Sundays and it’s fun to have different creamers for them to use. I just don’t read the ingredient label. ;)
  • Kleenex
  • Toilet Paper – This sure did get tricky for a while! But it was great to have some extra to share when some of our friends completely ran out!

What ways has God used you to bless others recently?

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Be Warm and Well Fed? How to Actually Help Feed People in Need…

September 20, 2020 by Laura 2 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Want to help feed people in need? Let’s move beyond an attitude of “be warm and well fed…” and actually help!

We all have different gifts given to us by our Creator. One of my gifts is food. I LOVE FOOD and I’m good at food.

You may not be good at food. That means you’re good at something else, and I bet it’s something I marvel at! I love this about God’s people. But even if you don’t love food as I do, or if you don’t consider yourself to be “good at food” – what we are all called to be good at is:

Loving our neighbor.

Every one of us. We can show this love in various forms, especially according to the gifts God has given us. This is so beautiful!

But today I am going to talk about loving our neighbor – with food.

Those of us who have never experienced food insecurity probably don’t think about those who suffer from it daily. How will we feed our family tomorrow? How will I make this food last until the next paycheck? How many meals can I skip so that my kids can eat?

I CAN’T EVEN.

Those of us who have plenty? We have to share.

First, Ask God

My food-loving heart is on high alert for those who don’t have enough to eat and feed their families. (Just like your gifted heart jumps on needs according to what God has blessed you to know and to do!)

If you don’t know anyone in your community who might be experiencing food insecurity or have needs in other ways, please prayerfully begin to get to know more people. Expand your circle.

If you only hang out with people who live like you, act like you, look like you, talk like you – you might be resting in a place that is comfortable instead of doing what Jesus did. He spent most of His time with the least of these. Walking with the marginalized. Seeing the poor and the lonely and the hurting and showing them love in the ways they needed love.

So my gift is food? Your gift might be something else. And WE ARE ALL CALLED TO LOVE.

Don’t tell me that you’re shy. (Laura used to hide behind that too.) Don’t explain what it’s like to be an introvert. (Laura laughs out loud at this as she hides in her quiet alone spot to refresh her introverted self and write this post.) Most importantly: Don’t be afraid.

God will be in every effort you make as you listen to His direction for reaching out to those around you who have needs of all kinds. This is very much something you’ll do with God. Not because it’s a nice thing to do. Not because good deeds are cool. Loving God and loving others is the only thing that’s cool. His way. Actually loving them.

So back to how to feed people in need.

Whatever your gifts, please be alerted to the fact that many in our communities face constant food insecurity. And many are hesitant to reach out and ask for help. I am learning this by painful experience, and friends, I live in York, Nebraska. This is a middle class, lovely small town of 8,000 and while it seems like everyone in our town is doing just fine, God has opened my eyes and heart and taught me that many people around me have big needs.

Thanks to Him, I now have multiple families or widows that I check in with regularly to make sure they have enough food to get them through until the next check or the next community food distribution.

If you don’t know anyone who is lacking – ask God to show you. He is faithful and He will do it. I know this from beautiful experience.

Then He will also show you what to do about it.

It starts with relationship. Love is more important than even a bag of groceries. So keep that in mind as you serve. People need food, but they need God’s love more. Looking into people’s eyes and learning more about their lives and sharing genuine laughs and tears and care? It is life-changing on all sides.

Bags of groceries are nice too.

Or prepared casseroles or a bucket of soup.

Ask God to show you. He is faithful and He will do it.

Soon, seeing the hurting and the hungry will become easy. Having conversations and reaching out and meeting new friends and getting to know people needs? Natural. It’s God’s way, after all.

What does this look like?

Well, I don’t know what God will do through you, but I can’t wait to hear!

Here are a couple of examples from my neck of the woods:

This week I took a fully prepared meal to a family in our community with six kids. One parent is sick. The other is trying to hold down the entire fort. They didn’t even care what food I prepared – they were just thankful to check “cook dinner” off the list for the night. This is meeting a different need compared to sharing groceries with people who have nothing. But it is still a need, and God will show you who and how. (Yep, ordering pizza for someone counts. There are no bonus points in heaven for making homemade meals. Just obey God and love people.)

Later in the same week, I babysat for a single mom so she could have a tiny break. When I dropped off her daughter later, I learned that she had cereal. As in…that’s it. She had in her house – cereal – to get her and her daughter through nine more days of the month before the next check.

NOT ON MY WATCH.

I went home and filled some bags and took them back to my friend. Thank you, God, for helping me learn of this need! 

Friends, ask God to show you who needs food. Money. Clothing. LOVE.

He will show you. And He will provide.

We are not called to be saviors.

Jesus. Is. Savior. But we are called to let the light of the Savior shine through us as we love those around us in any way He calls us to love.

Often, I show love with food. I do this because it meets a real need and provides the opportunity to share the Real Source of Strength.

How can you love? How can you serve? How can you see the needs of those around you and care for them?

Ask God. Then watch Him work – while you get to be a part of the delivery!

How to Help Feed People in Need…

Here is what works for me as I help make sure people have enough food to eat:

  • I ask what people like. Sure, sometimes if a person is hungry, they’ll eat anything. But I also know that a mama has to feed picky kids sometimes and I want to make that easier. I try to get a good idea of what families eat so that when I pick up groceries for them (or grab from our well-stocked pantry and freezers) I give them what I know will bless them and help them most.
  • I regularly buy more than what we need. Thankfully, we can afford this, and we want to use what God has given us to share with others. I always have a nice supply of just about everything from groceries to kleenex. This makes it easy to grab some boxes or bags and fill them from our own food supply. I especially appreciate this right now because, with all of our little ones, it’s hard for me to go to the store right away when I learn of a need. So shopping my own well-stocked food supply and dropping it off to our friends can happen regularly when I over-buy, on purpose.
  • I don’t give away weird stuff. As in, I don’t grab the can-of-whatever-no-one-in-my-family-likes and give it away. Nor do I give away crazy-organic-mega-health-food-no-one-has-heard-of. My goal is to bless people, not to give away our cast-offs or to make life hard because I’ve given them something confusing called “maca root…” Stick with the basics; bless people with what’s easy and what tastes good!

What have you found that works for you? How do you help people around you who are in need?

One more tip: Consider the times you have been the one in need. How have people helped you? What would have been helpful during those times? Tuck these thoughts away in your heart as you consider how you can help others!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

My Husband is Making Me Do This

April 13, 2017 by Laura 4 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

How sweet of my husband to be so supportive. How great of him to jump on board with my latest “pet project.” Between the two of us, we’ve even gotten our boys excited and they have started to tell their friends. We’re in this together, and we’re looking forward to being a part of this!

But I’m not sure about this newest idea my husband came up with. Who does he actually think I am, anyway? After 22 years of marriage, does he not know that I do have some limits? My inner spring chicken flew the coop more than a few years ago.

Yet, Matt said it so confidently, as if he didn’t even question my ability. I guess I should be honored? Sure thing.

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So first things first, to catch you up on my inner conundrum: Our family is taking part in a 6K event with World Vision on May 6. Many of you have signed up to join, and if even more of you join, I will be so ridiculously happy.

This will mean clean water for people who normally have to walk 6K every single day just to get DIRTY water. The thought of this makes us sick, and knowing that our 6K efforts on May 6 will help provide people with a short walk for CLEAN water? Well, I’d walk 6K every day if it would keep the donations coming in.

My youngest saw this picture and was like, “Eeew. What is that?” and I had to tell him that it’s the dirty water kids are walking for miles to get for their families —>

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My husband’s idea

Here’s what Matt said, and you guys, I am both amazed at his brilliance and terrified that I won’t be able to handle it.

“We need to do this the right way. When we go on this 6K walk, we’re going to take along a big jug, and map out a path that will take us 3K to a body of dirty water. We’re going to fill our jugs and walk back the final 3K with our full jugs. How else will we truly understand what these children face every day?”

So basically, I feel like a 43 year old baby. I wanted to argue, and even opened my mouth to do it. My hips, you know? My bad knee!

But the truth is that little tiny children, who are likely malnourished, walk this trek every single day just to collect a jug of dirty water for their families.

Dirty water.

Every day.

So we’re doing this thing.

Our family is walking the 6K for World Vision and we’re doing it with jugs of water. If this doesn’t make me appreciate the beautiful, pure water at my tap I’m not sure what will.

We’ll be live-streaming some of our journey via Facebook on May 6 so we can share more about our experience. I hope you’ll join us! And by that, I really mean that I hope you walk with us! (You can just walk it though. Jugs of dirty water are not a requirement.) :)

I’m extremely thankful our sons were so quick to join in with us, so we’ve got them signed up too. The beauty of how this 6K works is that you and I don’t have to be physically together to do this. You can sign up, then walk straight out your own door and do the walking in your own neighborhood.

So, May 6. Walk 6K for water. Join our virtual team. Why?

  • Every day, people around the world walk an average of 6 kilometers (approximately 3.7 miles) in search of water, and that water is often contaminated with life-threatening diseases.
  • World Vision provides safe water, sanitation and hygiene education to decrease illnesses, improve health and lessen the burden on women and children.
  • Safe drinking water, improved sanitation, good hygiene and good water resource management can lead to a reduction in child mortality, cut transmission of malaria, improve public health and reduce extreme poverty.

Learn more here about World Vision’s water program here.

Want to do this with me?

Sign up here. Want to see part of our live journey on Facebook May 6? Like my page here.

Here’s to clean water for everyone!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

I’ve Been Taking Clean Water for Granted

March 22, 2017 by Laura 3 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

If ever my kids are whiny, achy, arguing, or restless, I give them this admonition, “Go take a drink of water.”

It’s become a joke around here, as if water is my answer for everything. (Kid: “I can’t find my math book.” Me: “Go take some sips of water.” Perhaps I’ve taken the water thing just a little too far?)

watersm

Hey. I’m right you know. Drinking water really does help many an ailment. Cranky kids really might simply be thirsty, you know? Any time we’re struggling to focus, we take a water break and it almost always helps. (Unfortunately, drinking water has yet to help us find motivation to clean the house. I find that coffee works better for this. But I digress.)

I heart water. I drink water all day long. I encourage everyone to be sure they are drinking enough water. And I’ve recently come to realize that I take the gift of water for granted.

It’s just right there at my sink, all day long, you know? It’s the easiest thing in the world for me to fill my glass full of clean water and drink it as needed.

I’ve known that other countries don’t have it as easy as I do, but I haven’t learned much about this problem until recently. How about you? Here’s something I just found out:

6 kilometers (approximately 3.7 miles) is the average distance that people in the developing world – often women and young girls – walk for water each day. This walk can be dangerous, and the water is often contaminated with life-threatening diseases.

OVER THREE MILES!! That’s how far little girls walk every day just to collect (contaminated) water for their families. This news causes me anxiety, which at my house means I need to pause, re-group, and take a sip of water. Oh, the irony.

Many, thankfully, are doing what they can to help with this global drinking water problem. I’ve started by doing this:

Each time I take a sip of water throughout the day, I pray for God to provide clean access to water to those for whom it is a struggle.

It’s a simple thing to do, letting my water drinking habit become a prayer trigger. And what else? Well, what are you doing Saturday, May 6?

This is something we can all do to help!

On Saturday, May 6, 2017, people from around the globe will walk or run 6 kilometers to support World Vision’s water initiatives through the World Vision Global 6K for Water.

The Global 6K for Water is organized by Team World Vision, a group of passionate people who run, walk, and race to help children get clean water. Team World Vision’s water projects run in harmony with World Vision’s work in other key areas of development: health, education, food, and economic development. This approach tackles the root causes of poverty, enabling children to experience fullness of life.

Team World Vision was founded in 2006, and since then, they have helped more than 30,000 people cross finish lines to raise $30 million for World Vision’s work around the world.

Did you read that? $30 million! When each person does a little, a LOT of help can be offered!

How you and I can help

World Vision is on site in different parts of the world to make clean water accessible for many. We can partner with them to help – no matter where we live and what we do! Here are some options to consider:

  • Become a host site: Work together with your church, school, community center or run club to register as a host site (it’s free!) and spread the word about how fun and easy it is to support clean water programs around the world! Whether your goal is 10 people or 100 people, World Vision will equip you with all the marketing materials, race day signage and staff support for a successful race day.
  • Join a local host site: Walk or run with other Global 6K for Water participants at a host site near you.
  • Start a virtual team: Invite your friends and family all around the country to join your “team” even though you will each be walking or running from your own neighborhoods on race day. <—- This is what I’ll be doing. Stay tuned!
  • Individual race: Walk or run the Global 6K for Water from your own front door – whether on a treadmill or around the neighborhood with your kids, you’ll be taking part in a global effort to support clean water! (Note: Thanks to our generous donors, the registration fee for kids (15 and under) is only $25 – a discount of 50%!)

Each participant’s registration fee of $50 supports World Vision’s water programs. After registration, you will receive a World Vision Global 6K for Water t-shirt, a race bib with a photo of a child you can sponsor, and a race medal in the mail.

Who wants to walk with me?!

I’d love it if we all took a virtual walk together! Even better, promote this to all your friends so the word will spread and more can become involved in helping!

Register here and mark May 6 on your calendar. Watch for more details coming soon as we plan this fun and beneficial event!

Now, everyone go take some sips of water. And while you do, pray for those for whom drinking clean water is a challenge. How exciting that, together, we can be a part of making healthy opportunities around the world!

I was compensated by World Vision for my time in writing this post. All opinions are my own.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Women with a Mission: Compassion International

June 24, 2009 by Laura 6 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

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As we’ve seen as we go through this series, there are so many things we as women can do to minister to others without neglecting what absolutely should be our main ministry:  our families. If you haven’t already, be sure to catch up on the rest of this series here.

Today I want to talk about a different ministry opportunity:  Compassion International. I love this organization for so many reasons…

  • I trust them. If we’re going to give our money “to help children” we want it to help children. With Compassion International, you can trust that it will. I love that.
  • Not only are they working to meet a child’s basic physical needs…they teach the child (and family) about Jesus. They are truly feeding the children.
  • They make it easy to sponsor a child. They communicate well and their program is just “user friendly”.
  • This ministry is perfect for you and your family to work at together!

We chose to sponsor a little boy a few months ago (yes go figure…we chose a little boy!). The entire experience has been delightful for us. We picked someone who practically shares a birthday with Asa. That made him seem even more real to the boys. 

We looked on the globe to see where he lives and learned about his country. His picture is on our refrigerator. We get to sit down and write him letters together. We pray for him together. The boys ask us questions about him from time to time. I love that they have a “brother” across the globe. I think they love it too.

If you have a few minutes…take the time to watch this video.

And then consider if sponsoring a child through Compassion International is a ministry that you and your family could take on together. You won’t regret it.
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If any of you have experiences with Compassion International that you can tell about…please share in the comments!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Women with a Mission: Ministry with Food

June 2, 2009 by Laura 9 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

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Be sure to catch up on this entire series here. 

One of my favorite ways to serve is with FOOD. Eventually I’ll share some of the ways I use food as a ministry, but today, I wanted to share these ideas sent in by two of my readers…

Nancy’s ministry:  I love to bake bread from scratch. I bought a grain mill a few months ago so now I can even grind my own grain and then bake my bread. =)  Anyway, when I bake bread I bake double what my family needs and then give the extra loaves away. I live in an apartment complex and so have lots of neighbors with whom I can share. People really appreciate it and I can sure tell that they are surprised that someone would give them something with no strings attatched. =)
 
That’s my way of reaching out while I have 2 young children at home and no car to take me out into the big wide world.

Serenity’s ministry (as told by her mother Jill):   

Our daughter really wanted to reach out and serve others but felt that her primary ministry was her husband and children. She decided on a wonderful ministry that would give her the ability to reach out but not neglect her young family. She called the local Ronald McDonald house and asked if they could use a homemade meal once a month for the guests there. They were quite happy to receive that call. 

Ronald McDonald houses allow families that have a very ill child in the local hospital to stay for a very small fee per night. It is set up like a home. They can come and go as they please. There is a kitchen for them to use while they are there. They are almost always very close to the hospital so the families can walk which is very handy for them. Many of these families are facing lengthy hospital stays with critically ill children. 

So, our daughter would make a delicious meal that included homemade bread or rolls, a yummy dessert along with the main course. She is a fabulous cook so she really out did herself. She would cook while the babies were  napping. When her hubby got home from work she would pack it all up and take it over to the house. I am so proud of her for finding a way to serve while still having young children. I am certain the families were blessed by eating a good home cooked meal.

What other ways have you been able to serve others with food?

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Women with a Mission: How Are YOU Serving?

May 7, 2009 by Laura 2 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

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Catch up on this series here.

Several weeks ago, I threw out the question to you…What are YOU doing to minister to others?  I loved hearing from you and plan to share your ministry ideas as I can. I hope reading these will inspire you all toward searching for how God can use you best!

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Kathy wrote:  I have the distinct pleasure of working with women who are recovering from different forms of abuse. Specifically so far it is just domestic violence and sexual abuse. We hope to expand to as many different types of recovery as possible (Eating disorder, grief, divorce, infidelity….the list is endless. We are all recovering from something and need spiritual support along the way). It is amazing to see the sovereignty of God in the lives of these women who have endured so much! My “job” is mainly to train leaders who have been through this type of abuse to lead spiritual support groups for those who are in the midst of recovery.

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Jeannie wrote:  I am still trying to figure out how to balance mothering, being a wife and serving God in a meaningful way. To that end, my son Roman signed up to serve in a local nursing home. We will help with Bingo for the first time on Monday – my true hope is that we can in some way participate in reading the Bible or singing with the residents. I also believe it is vitally important for my son to understand the circle of life and serve those who go before him.

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Jennifer wrote:  I have found hospitality to be a great way to minister to others while having little ones at home (I have a 4-year-old, 2-year-old, and a 15-month-old). Our major focus has been a dinner before a church meeting on Wednesdays. We have at least 4 people over, often ones we don’t know (or even know they were coming!). This is followed by a prayer meeting we host twice a month with around 40 people. Mind you, we have a 1400 sq. ft. house! We’ve also had a kid’s klub in our home, though my children aren’t at the age to really be involved.

I think too often mothers of little ones get caught up in their own lives and the lives of their children. Having people over regularly, and none of them being moms, has challenged me and forced me to think about others. My children help cook and clean for our company, and have built relationships with others we might not have ever talked to before. It also allows some in our fellowship to be hospitable when they couldn’t otherwise (they invite people to our house).

This form of ministry is not easy for me; it is a sacrifice. Our home is small and gets “invaded” every week. My husband makes very little money and feeding all these people stretches us. But, it is a way we can serve the Lord now. And it is a way my children can begin to serve others along with us.

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Laura has an ENTIRE BLOG dedicated to sharing how she and her son minister together. Please go check out Willy Toole!!!

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I plan to share more of your ideas in the coming weeks! (Thanks for your patience as I work my way through them!)  I LOVE reading what you’re doing for God’s kingdom! If any of the rest of you would like to share your ministry, please email me! (laura at heavenlyhomemakers.com)

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Women with a Mission: Loving on Children

April 15, 2009 by Laura 14 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

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I have several friends who have opened up their home to foster children…many have even adopted some of their foster children. I’ve watched my friends struggle, hurt, be completely worn out, and continue to love on these kids.

I am absolutely convinced that being a foster parent is not for everyone. But, since we’re talking about how we as women can minister from our homes, I asked my good friend Tana to share her story with us.

For those of us who do not choose foster parenting, at least we can be made more aware of how we can pray for those who do.

Here’s Tana:

My husband and I spent 8 years fostering. We have adopted 2 children during the course of those years. Our oldest child is 25 and our youngest is 9.

We thought we were done having children when our biological children were 3, 14 and 16. I had read an article about children in orphanages in Romania and was literally brought to tears for the condition of these babies. I spent 2 more years praying for the safety of our next child and doing research on adoption. Eventually we decided a less romantic, but more feasible way to adopt was through the state’s Fos- Adopt program.

We finished foster parent training classes on a Friday night and I told the caseworkers I wanted a baby. They practically laughed and told me, “Tana, we rarely get babies, and if we do, they’ve been badly damaged.” I went home feeling very discouraged. But God is good, and on Monday morning we got a call that a newborn baby boy was to be dismissed from the hospital and needed a Fos-Adopt home. We scurried around trying to find things for a nursery and they brought a beautiful baby to me that very day.

Now am I going to leave you with that beautiful happy moment? No, sorry, that only happens in the movies. I soon came to realize that fos-adopt did not mean easy-adopt. The way the state works for children in foster care was far from my romantic dreams about adopting a child. We spent the next 3 years fighting for that baby’s life with us. I walked the floor with him at night praying for his future. During the days I wrote letters to the Governor, legislature and legal figures. The Lord had answered my prayers, but not without holding me to the fire for His purpose.

I wanted a quick adoption, but God had other things in mind for us. While we waited we had several opportunities to promote change in the laws governing foster care and adoption in the state of Nebraska.

We went to court date after court date, right up to an appeal with the Nebraska Supreme Court before our adoption was complete. That baby’s middle name is now Samuel which means, God has heard. He has never been hurt outside of a skinned knee. He has never seen a drunken or psychotic parent (okay, briefly psychotic), and he has never gone to bed hungry. He is a well adjusted, happy little boy.

We went on to foster more children and to adopt one more time. The second time we adopted an 11 year old girl that had been badly damaged. After the adoption that we thought would make her feel secure, she was suddenly threatened by her permanency. She has severe reactive attachment syndrome, which love and security is not enough to heal. For 2 years we tried different methods to help her attach. Her behaviors became increasingly alarming and dangerous for herself and the other children. She fought the adoption, fought the idea of having parents, and continues to fight all those around her that want to help her.

My heart, is of course, broken. She is in a residential treatment center now, and will probably need the structure of that kind of care for a long time. I am sad that she will not accept what we have offered her, but I am reminded that God adopts all of us. Even though we are given everything we need, we sometimes reject Him and refuse that love. But he stays constant.

When Laura asked me to write about our ministry in fostering I had some reservations to say the least. We no longer foster. All of our energy is put into getting services for this child who will not be loved. I found myself wanting to say “Don’t do it!”

But God did not call us to second guess what he asks us to do. I had to remember that the Bible says, “All things work together for good for those that love the Lord.” Even though I do not understand how the problems we are facing in our life right now can be woven together for good, I believe what He says, and I trust that this too will work together for Him. Because of our earlier trials, I have been refined, possibly to make me strong enough for this battle. So of course, I said, “Yes, I will write an article about the ministry of adoption and foster care!”

I would like to tell you that this is a ministry that we all should do, but it is not. It is a ministry for few. It needs to be approached with much prayer, and full knowledge that the road is a rough one. Adopting and fostering are often heart wrenching, full of fear and disappointment along the way. I have also come to realize that it is a journey that requires rest as well. Deciding to stop fostering was just as prayerful for me as beginning the journey.

One of our biological kids has Asperger’s Syndrome, which also requires much from us. I now home school him and his brother. I struggled to give myself permission to stop fostering and focus on the children who God has entrusted to me. The nature of fostering is so exhausting that few do it for a life time.

It is important to know your limitations if you decide to foster, it is okay to say no to caring for a child that is beyond your ability to help. Your own children must come first. Position in the family must be preserved by choosing age mates and gender wisely. You must remember not to choose children who can victimize your children in any way, because you can’t take it back if an innocent is hurt. You must protect your mate and not put him/her in a vulnerable position. And you must nurture yourself as well as others.
There are other ways to help kids in need without fostering. Some of these include being a CASA (court appointed special advocate), providing respite care for foster families, being involved in the Big Brother program, and speaking out when you see an injustice in the system.

We still have former foster children that call us or stop by from time to time, because they care about what we think. Many of them have gone back to the dysfunction they began with. Some have been adopted by another family or relative. Others have aged out of the system and have children of their own.

Sometimes we feel that what we did was for naught, but I cannot tell what God will decide to do with the seeds we planted. Sometimes all we could do was to show a child that there was a better way, a way that involves God in our decision making, and solving conflict without drugs, strife and abuse. We hope that someday they will remember a family that showed God to them a long time ago.

In Christ, Tana

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Women with a Mission: The Great Clothing Exchange

April 1, 2009 by Laura 33 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

 

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Be sure to catch up on
the rest of this series here!

 

My friend Kim organizes a clothing exchange twice a year at our church for anyone in the community to come and get free clothing for their families.  It has been a HUGELY successful ministry and SUCH a practical and obvious opportunity to bless people around us.

I love this “Mommy Ministry” and asked her to write some details about it for you.

Here’s Kim:

HOW IT BEGAN:

As a first time Mom, I was overwhelmed with the task and expense of keeping my daughter clothed in the correct season and size. Several other moms in our congregation mentioned that they had things I could use. So it came to mind to organize an exchange. It began as a group of Moms getting together with the things they would be willing to part with (or loan) to someone else in the congregation.

An exchange of children’s clothes grew into what is now a community event. Twice a year, in April and October, we take donations of any size or season of clothing, shoes, coats, boots, and bedding to freely distribute to the people of the church first, and the community second.

ORGANIZATION:

The fun begins on the Wednesday evening preceding the Saturday event when tables and clothing racks are set up and all the donations are brought in from their storage area.

Thursday morning, the sorting begins. With all the rows labeled, each person can take a bag or box and put the appropriate items on the appropriate tables. This generally continues all day Thursday and Friday with breaks for meals. Clothing from size newborn up to adult are sorted, organized, hung and folded.

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Friday evening, the congregation is invited to come and take what they can use. Then Saturday morning from 8-12, the doors are open to the public. People can come and take what they can use without restrictions or strings attached. As people walk in the door, they are given an empty bag and asked if there is anything specific they are looking for. If there is, they are guided to that area. If not, we point out the labels for each row and let them begin the hunt. At the end of the event, leftovers are boxed and given to a local thrift store or charity, as they are available and willing to take them.

THE REASON BEHIND IT: I cannot tell you how rewarding this project has become. It allows us to make contact with people in the community that we might not otherwise meet. It allows us to meet needs without people having to ask, thus allowing them to maintain some dignity. Plus, it allows us to clothe our families for little to no expense. Most importantly, though, it allows me to do what Jesus commanded and clothe those who are “naked”. Who knows, maybe he or one of his angels have been through those doors a time or two and picked up a couple of things!
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If you’re interested in organizing a clothing exchange ministry similar to this one, click here to download more information. No need for you to re-invent the wheel when she’s already got a wonderful detailed explanation of how to run an event like this one!
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Thanks Kim for taking the time to share this with us!

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Women With a Mission: Guest Post

March 18, 2009 by Laura 6 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

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Please welcome our guest poster today, my friend Jill. She’s been a mentor to me for several years and I asked her to share her thoughts on ministry with you… 
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First, let me say thank you to Laura for giving me the opportunity to write for her blog. I have known Laura several  years. Our husbands were ministers together back in Security, Colorado. I counted her precious mother as my friend. She was a wonderful example to me. Laura was blessed with such a godly example of true womanhood. She is now carrying on her mother’s legacy of service.
 
Just a bit about myself before we begin since none of you know me. I have been married to the same guy for over 31 years. We have been blessed with 6 boys and 1 girl. We are in full time ministry here in Michigan. We have had 30 foster children over the years. Three of our children are grown and gone and have their own families now. We have 4 granddaughters and one grandson. 

The question then about “ministry” is near and dear to my heart. Laura started out this series by saying our husbands and children ARE our ministry.  That is probably the hardest concept for us Type A’s to wrap our brains around. If we fail at these two tasks we have lost. I have seen this concept abused. Some women feel that they can never reach out to others because it will get in the way of their main ministry. Their children in particular become everything to them, a kind of idol worship if you will. Their children and their children’s accomplishments define these moms. How very sad. Our children are given to us a gift and as a loan. Trust me, we only get them for a little while. Some of us have had the gut wrenching experience of having our children taken from us much too early. We have a limited time to instill a servants heart in these precious gifts called children.

My husband and I recently discussed once again my role outside the home. We are in full time ministry. I have been a stay at home mom now for 31 years. There is SO much I want to get done. We have an active ministry in the women’s shelter in town. There are so many ladies who need mentoring and the gospel shared with them. We have ladies in our congregation that need encouragement, they also need study of God’s word. I still have three boys left at home. We have been homeschooling now for years and years and you get the idea  :). I have only 5 years left to instill in these boys everything we hold to be true and dear to us. I get easily distracted. It is easy to hand them their work and then go off and study with some woman who “needs me”. Each time I have to be kicked in pants (figuratively) and focused once again to the task at hand.

We want our boys to have a servants heart,  so how do we balance that with the task of running the house and raising these boys? God  came up with a great solution. He  laid on my heart after one of the discussions with my hubby that I can still be an encouragement to the ladies through the internet. I could write a daily devotional about a particular scripture and its application for us*. What a great idea. I can still make a difference in the lives of the women I serve by reaching out to them through the blogosphere. What a great feeling to know that I am not neglecting my husband and children but still serving those along with my children I feel called to serve. 

Ladies, we want to raise Godly children that have a heart for serving. That is my passion. There are many creative ways to minister. These are just some of the ways that I have found to be a blessing. My hubby reminds me that in just 5 short years I will have all the time I want to minister outside of these walls. I already know that it is SO worth it to invest in your children. All of my older children are such a blessing. Each in their own way reaches out and serves those who need it. I will never regret all the years I have spent serving them. When I get home I just want to hear those sweet words of the Master, “Well done thy good and faithful servant.” 
 
God Bless each of you as you look to ways to “minister”.
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*I receive Jill’s email devotional thought in my inbox each weekday morning and find them to be so encouraging! If you would like to be included in this list, please email her (jill6758 at cablespeed.com)  You won’t be sorry!

Also…if you are involved in a ministry that does not take away from your important role as wife/mother…please email me (laura at heavenlyhomemakers.com). I’d love for you to share your great ministry ideas here!

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