Welcome to A Surrendered Heart: A Wife’s Journey to Love the Jesus Way. Click on the “Leave a Comment” button on each post to add your thoughts, experiences, and suggestions to the discussion. If you are a newsletter subscriber, please click through to this post on my website to add your comments to the discussion to be read by everyone. I look forward to hearing what you have to say! God be praised for the gift of marriage and for allowing us to grow in Him.
Let’s begin with today’s scripture focus right away. It’s a verse we’ve all likely heard since we were little, yet I find that it’s one of the most difficult to obey.
I love this simple admonition. But more often, I live this out instead: “Here’s the deal. If you treat me nicely, then if I’m having a good day, I’ll be sure and be nice back. However, you should know that sometimes I’m just not feeling it. Sometimes I’m frustrated with you, so I don’t really feel like being nice. You’d better be nice to me, though.”
My thinking is so backward and messed up sometimes.
Do you know how many times I have said something to Matt that if the tables were turned and he had been the one to have said it to me, I would have been all indignant and thought, “Well. I didn’t deserve that.” It’s ridiculous. Why do I think I am justified at a “roll my eyes” comment but would feel incredibly hurt if Matt responded this way to me?
He called me on this one day a few months ago. I was pretty much in a state of frequent annoyance with him, so when he said something about who knows what, and I didn’t understand what he meant, I acted like he was an idiot and yuck, I really just hate even talking about how I responded to him. It was ugly. He (sweetly, somehow) told me as much. I needed to hear it.
I can feel justified all over the place with how I respond to Matt when I’m frustrated. But if he were to treat me like that? Well, I’d think he was acting like all kinds of a jerk.
The good news is, he is better at “doing to others as he would have them to do him” or however that should be written since I switched out the “you’s” with “he’s and him’s.” I’m the one who has been struggling with this recently. That’s why I need this scripture focus.
So now that we have been reminded that our hearts need to surrender to treat our husband the way we would love to be treated – how can we put this into practice?
Considering this verse (Luke 6:31) changes how I serve Matt. Service comes in all forms. It’s barely about folding his laundry and mostly about showing him love with my words, face, and actions. I am finding that taking time to reflect on how I can serve my husband better – while focusing on “doing for him as I would have him do for me” is humbling and rather lovely if I truly give up my self. It makes me want to serve. It brings me joy to serve.
Imagine that. When I take the focus off myself, and instead serve in God’s way – it works. I should stop being shocked by this.
Take time to consider Luke 6:31. Listen to what God has to say to you about how you are treating your husband, how you should be treating your husband, and how you can serve him with a surrendered heart, loving your husband the Jesus way.
I found that it was beneficial to write down what I want from Matt (such as, I want him to really listen to me and hear my heart), and then flip it around to truly understand the “Do to others…” passage (I need to really listen to him and hear his heart). Some of his needs are different from mine, but I found that this was a great start in recognizing ways my heart needed to change.
Now here’s the truth: If Matt doesn’t live up to my expectations of what I want/need from him? It can’t change the way I treat him. My response, my service, and my care for Matt is not based on his performance. They are based on my obedience of scripture. I choose to love Christ, therefore I choose to love and serve my husband the Jesus way.
This takes surrender of self. Surrender of my heart. There is no way to do this unless we are each choosing to let the Spirit of God work in us to be holy. Let’s let Christ do His work in us! Then, serving our husbands? Well it will be surprisingly delightful.
Up For Discussion…Share With Us!
- What are some things you do for your husband that you know he loves?
- How have you found that spending time with Jesus and reading the Word makes it easier to love and serve your husband?
- What other scriptures come to mind as you consider serving your husband and loving him the Jesus way?
- How can you serve your husband better this week (and next week)?