My boys, spring of 2010
I started feeling it last December.
I was Christmas shopping online for our four boys. My excitement grew as I continued to come across sites for some of our favorite toys from companies we love. High quality wooden puzzles and games by Melissa and Doug. Books about our beloved Curious George and Corduroy. Super hero costumes. Brightly colored building blocks. These are the toys that make our world go round.
Correction. Made our world go round. Past tense.
Asa and Elias, Christmas 2008
My boys aren’t so much into those kinds of toys any more. On their lists were items like headphones, iTunes gift cards, goalie gloves, and the like. At least our eight year old still wanted Legos. But I started to feel a little bit sad. No more wooden puzzles or superman capes? Well when did that happen?
I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I love this stage of life we’re in – having a houseful of big kids. Raising kids ages 8, 11, 13, and 15 is the rockinest season ever. I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it is to live with teenagers. Now that all the kids can read, all six of us together can have crazy fun playing board games that don’t include a candy cane lane, a hungry hippo, or (praise the Lord) a chute or a ladder. The joy we experience studying God’s word together and having meaningful prayer time? It’s beautiful. And the volume of food we go through? Well, some might be frightened to actually watch the food disappear from our table as quickly as it does, but as long as I don’t think too hard about the grocery bill, I take great pleasure in seeing my boys inhale triple batches of pancakes and two pounds of strawberries in seven minutes flat.
Malachi, spring 2009
But when I look at their baby pictures? When I see a little plastic plate sporting Winnie the Pooh like the one that used to get flung off our high chair? When I come across a size 2-T outfit that all four of the boys wore as it was passed down the line? I find that I suddenly can’t breathe. How is it that instead of having to take a wet washrag to wipe smeared sweet potatoes off of an unwilling chubby baby face, I’m handing over a razor so that very boy can shave his whiskers?
Justus and I, heading out for a date in May, 2012
I now understand what all the other ladies have been telling me for years about how “the days are long but the years are short so enjoying them while they’re young because they grow up so quickly.” I heard that over and over when my four boys were little. I heard it when I had multiple children in diapers. I heard it when we were potty training (the boy with pee running down his leg). I heard it when the three-year old had his fourteenth melt-down in the church foyer. I heard it when I had one kid hanging on my leg, one running in the opposite direction, one screaming to be nursed, and the other one…wait WHERE was the other one??! (Hiding under the table.) I always wanted to say, “Yeah, yeah. Enjoy them while they’re young. I know. I will. I am. Now shut up and help me put these kids into their car seats so I can get home and put them down for their naps.” (Not really, but yeah. Really.)
I grieve and rejoice at the same time that my boys are all now “big.” My oldest will graduate in two years. He’s the one who made me a mother the very first time. I think it happened sometime around yesterday. But actually, somehow, it was more like a decade and a half ago.
Enjoy them while they’re young? I did. I am. I do. I will.
Every short, long day.
I know exactly what you are saying. After homeschooling all three all the way through, I now have Daniel, 24, a missionary intern in Hungary, Suzi, 22 (23 tomorrow), who just graduated from Pensacola Christian College, and Mark, 20, (when did he turn 20????) living at home, trying to figure out what the Lord wants him to do. I am still Mama, and would still love to be their number 1, but haven’t been that in a long time, and I love them all so desperately. I am thankful for my husband, who loves me still, and wants to spend time with me…just me…so it’s okay when they aren’t here and they are off living their lives, but it is also bittersweet when I remember back when. I love this family God has loaned me, and I’m thankful I know enough to give them back to Him , to use as He sees fit! Happy Mother’s Day!
“I love this family God has loaned me, and I’m thankful I know enough to give them back to Him, to use as He sees fit!” So bittersweet! Brought tears to my eyes! Blessings to you!
Love this! Happy Mother’s Day, to you!
Love this. I had to take J in to the emergency room this weekend (he’s fine, just needed a few stitches) and they asked how old he was. My brain first said 18, but I spat out 19. Jim corrected me. J is twenty. (!!!) Time flies so fast with the kiddoes.
My “kids” are 48 and 49 about to turn 50. She will be in Hawaii, says might as well turn 50 in paradise. The kids kids range in age from 14-23. With the grandkids you get mostly the cuteness without the responsibility. At least for most of us. I do have friends raising their grandkids.
Happy Mother’s Day.
I’m definitely in the trenches – my kids are 4.5, 2.5, and 8 weeks. I wrote this last night: http://www.vanderbiltwife.com/2013/05/in-the-midst-of-the-mess/
But reading this, I look forward to the future years but I’m really trying to treasure baby cheeks, preschool phraseology, maybe even toddler tears!
Love.
Four boys. We have one and almost five girls. There are differences, but so similar. I can still remember all the toys we bought for my oldest. Now – there are no more toys. Her head is filled with horses and competing. I must say, the cost of those wishes is much more. But, the dreams themselves are priceless. Come this June, we will have girls ages 2, 4, 8, 15, and newborn.
Yes! Love this Laura! We have hit a similar place, yet different! Our kids are 2, 4, 6, and 8. And for the first time, we celebrated a 2nd birthday without a newborn (or soon to be newborn!) in our arms. Just a little glimpse of the reminder to take each day, each minute with our little ones. It’s such a different place to not have a house full of “littles,” and I kind of like it! At least I am repeating it to myself 42 times a day! But truly, the joy of having children who can speak their heArts and minds clearly, and we can begin to see the grace in them we’ve been praying for these years. And it doesn’t hurt that they can vacuum and carry groceries and help put on little sisters’ shoes! Heh.
Thank you, Laura. I appreciate your honest – and realistic – perspective. My little man is a year and a half, and I just can’t believe how fast the months have flown, but at the same time how long the days are. You hit the nail on the head.
I’ve been trying to embrace the moments as they happen. Yesterday my little guy woke up early from his nap crying, which all but guarantees a cranky afternoon. Instead of being frustrated, I made the decision to take it all in. I rocked him in my arms and let him drift in and out of sleep, studying his little face, his eyelashes, his chubby hands, the way he rubs his head and twirls his hair when he’s sleepy. Who knows how many more times he will he fall asleep in my arms? I can’t believe this is my second Mother’s Day with him, and I know in a blink of an eye I’ll be where you are. :)
I love this! Thank you for this beautifully written perspective on motherhood…..you are running this race of motherhood a few laps ahead of me. I have four boys as well (8,7,4,2) and am already to the point of breathing a sigh of relief that we are through the baby years and striving to enjoy this stage as well with all its ups and downs. Thank you for articulating what my mom has said all along with parents bemoan the teenage years– they are not to be feared, but prayed for just as any other stage. There’s so much to look forward to and so much to be grateful for already.
This post was precious to me as my two children are 9 and 10 and I am definitely noticing a transition in our family. I miss the sweet baby and toddler toys and learning to embrace pre-teens with joy and grace is scary and exciting! It goes by sooo fast and I am doing my best to cherish this time in our lives!
Hi Laura – Thank you for your post. I have been feeling the same way. My kids are 9 and 12 and while I love this age and that they are getting more independent, I so miss those days of us playing Candy Land (yes, I like to play Candy Land), writing outside with sidewalk chalk, watching Clifford, the Big Red Dog, and reading picture books (which I still do, but it’s not the same).
I miss our homeschool days of learning through games, doing fun unit studies, reading ‘Blueberries for Sal’ and then going to pick blueberries, etc. It’s different now – we have to learn about prepositions and adjectives and spend more time on math, etc. I can still incorporate the other, but it’s not the same.
I am thankful that I had such wonderful (and not-so-wonderful) days and I love the days we’re in, but sometimes, I wish I could just go back for a day or two every once in a while. :)
Thank you so much for your beautiful post, Laura! It’s like you took the words right out of my brain! We have four boys as well: oldest is 12, twins are 10 and “baby” is 6. It is a fun stage, but I do long for those baby days. Thank you for being real. I’ve never met you, but you are like my long-distance friend. Thanks for making me laugh, cry and love my family the best that I can.
I have one 3 year old daughter, but this post about your 4 big boys still made me cry! But everything you said is true, every age is beautiful and hard and challenging and absolutely wonderful. Thank you Laura :)
Thanks SO much for this reminder! I recieved a really special reminder yesterday that what I’m doing may not seem that “big” (or even “right”) to the outside world, but it is what REALLY matters. When we have children who are rooted in The Lord, I will not be sad about the days I spent staying home changing diapers while telling them scripture, etc. Our boys are 2 and 4 (both moving on up a year in August) and our daughter had her 11 month “birthday” yesterday :) I had never heard “the days are long, but the years are short” and it was such a great idea for me to take hold of as we are looking forward to starting homeschooling and just for doing life. Thanks again. Your writing has been a blessing to me (and my family) more than once, and this morning I felt that I was supposed to tell you that!
Yes, yes, yes. My children are 3 and 5 and the days are loooong. And some days I just want someone to come and take them away:o) But I wouldn’t change anything. Homeschooling and spending time with my children is priceless and sometimes I tear up thinking about how they’re not babies anymore…I’ll be a mess when they’re teenagers. Ha!
“I always wanted to say, “Yeah, yeah. Enjoy them while they’re young. I know. I will. I am. Now shut up and help me put these kids into their car seats so I can get home and put them down for their naps.” (Not really, but yeah. Really.)” TOTALLY!!!
I came over this morning to look for a granola recipe and saw your post from Mother’s Day. I just about cried and laughed. You took the words right out of my heart. I have a 21 year old almost college graduate girl (woman???)and a 13 year old boy who is not quite 6 ft. (he would so fit in with your guys in the food demolishing category) !! We have obviously, been out of the toys for ages, and yes the dreams do cost more as they age… but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!:))
Wow, talk about feeling a full heart in the morning. I am the mother of a 4 yr old boy, 3 yr old girl (one year apart to the day!), 17 month old boy and expecting the last boy mid July. What a statement, long days make up short years. I try to live in as many moments as possible so I don’t feel like it went to quick, sooooo hard with so many so young right now. Thanks Laura! You inspired me and your words will help me hold it together until baby #4 arrives!
I love, love, love reading your blog! I love that you keep things real. You always bring a smile to my face with your added bits of humor. LOVE IT! Keep up the good work and Happy belated Mother’s Day!
Wow, this made my stomach drop. And then the tears came! I really needed this today. My 2 and 6 year olds have been at each others throats for about 2 weeks straight and my brain is fried. Today I will enjoy them to the fullest even if it kills me!
When I first read the title I thought it said “Eat Them While They’re Young!” I was all prepared for some of your quirky humor when I realized what it really said, and I was sort of disappointed….
My “little people” are 7, 10, 12, 14, 18, 20, and 23. The 23-year-old is married and soon to be a mother herself! I miss the little years, yet I don’t. Definitely got tired of the “enjoy them while they’re young” comments, yet….it’s something I needed to hear. And now I say it to others (and almost slap myself because I know exactly how they’re feeling), but I try to temper it with an understanding ear to sympathize with their ups and downs.
THANK YOU for sharing this. I am a (blessed, but tired) mom of three, ages 3 1/2, 2 and 9 months (whose husband is in the military and is frequently away). I hear that all the time…the “enjoy it while they are young” speech. And I know they are right, but when you are in that moment when the 3 year old is throwing a tantrum (yes, often in the church foyer :)), and the 2 year old is running in the other direction, and the baby is hungry or tired or just plain fussy, and you’re operating on negative two hours of sleep and can’t remember for the life of you when you last showered…well, you obviously remember well how it is! But looking at the bigger picture, these days when my children are so young truly are a blessing, and the payoff of the hard work now will be great, as you are now experiencing. Thank you for the encouragement!
It’s official. I have gotten a head start on my Gratituesday! I cried. Mine are 8, 7, 4, 1 and 1 on the way…thank you for the provoking reminder.
memories. thank you for sharing.
:)
This is so beautiful. You made me tear up. I have a 13 month old boy (our first) and he is just so delicious – but it can be so hard. Still, already I look at his tiny preemie clothes and cry. What happened to my tiny boy? But now we have this ball of sunshine who smiles all day long and just fills my heart with joy to think about him.
Thank you so much, you are such a blessing to me.
Thank you, thank you! My 4 boys are 6, 4, 3, and 10 months, and I struggle with the balance of trying to savor each moment, but still wishing for a little more quiet and a bit less chaos. I know I’ll miss these days terribly when they pass. The part about the 2T shirt that they all wore brought the tears for me, as I’m finally handing off baby clothes that they’ve all worn to someone else. I’m SO very thankful to be a mama to 4 boys, I really am, but yes . . . we have potty accidents, and they already eat so much that I don’t know how we’ll survive when they are all teenagers at the same time. But … what a distinct privilege it is to care for them, for my hands to literally raise them up each day, with meals, and snuggles, and school lessons, and pointing at God’s truths, until they become men.
Laura, this post made me cry! And I mean, CRY! Thank you for this wonderful reminder! I will remember when I’m stressing out at night trying to “keep on schedule” for dinner and (worse) bedtime routines. My kids are ages 3, 5, almost 8, and 10 and I’m already feeling like I missed something with my oldest two even though I’ve always had the blessing of being a homemaker. I will try to always treasure every messy, loud, crazy moment…and those few quiet moments too. Thanks again for encouraging me! You are such a blessing!
Love this, says the girl whose baby is pushing her away from the computer in the rolly desk chair rightthisveryminute. With kiddos spread from 10 to 9 months, we rejoice and bang our heads at every stage. I’d like to sleep again someday, but oh, those sweet little ones!