As we’ve struggled through the last several days, suffering with grief and unbelief over the sudden death of my cousins, we’ve been faced with so many decisions.
It’s amazing how difficult it can be to even think rationally, much less make a good decision, when your mind is really elsewhere. And we didn’t even have to make the really difficult decisions about where to bury my cousins or what the service should be like. I can’t even imagine the difficulty of those decisions for all of the immediate family. I know God is just giving them strength beyond belief right now.
Matt and I were simply struggling with the decision of staying for the funeral or not. Even though there really wasn’t a decision to be made (I mean, of course we should stay)…there were several days between my cousins’ deaths and the day of the funeral. That ended up being a lot of missed days of work for Matt, not to mention all of the other loose ends that hadn’t been tied up before we left home in such a rush. Could we handle it financially? Should we go home so he could work a day and a half, and then come back? (With these gas prices?!)
We originally assumed that the funeral would be in Colorado where the couple had been living, so we didn’t think it would really be an option for us to go. It was then decided to bury them here in Kansas. As we wrestled back and forth with our decision to stay, someone finally said,
“Laura, how will you feel about your decision a few years from now? When you look back on this time and think about how you went home and missed the funeral…or about how you stayed and were surrounded by family…what will you feel?”
Mm. What is three days of missed work in the big picture? Isn’t God going to just totally take care of us anyway? Isn’t family more important? Wouldn’t we for sure look back with regret that we felt like we just couldn’t stay away from home any longer? What’s really important? (Probably not the over-due library book waiting for me at home.)
I was really grateful for the wise words about making a decision. I plan on remembering that for many decisions of my future. Even the small ones.
Step back from the situation and ask yourself, “How will I feel about this decision in a few years? Will I have regrets? Will I feel like I did the right thing? What is truly important?”
If I’ve learned anything in the past few days, it’s that life is short…and can end unexpectedly. Our life is a vapor. This world is not our home.
It is just so important to focus on what really matters.
———————————————————–
More Works for me Wednesday here.
That “what would I regret most?” question has helped me many times, especially when we were trying to decide if we were going to adopt. Funny how a little long-term perspective helps.
Laura,
We had a very similar thing happen two years ago (almost exactly, actually) when my mother passed away. At the time she was living clear across the country and driving up wasn’t an option. Of COURSE we were going to attend the funeral but the last minute airfares and accomodation costs took the better part of a year to recoup – almost $2000. We spent it in a heartbeat, and don’t regret it, but gosh, it was a lot of money to spend, you know?
My thoughts are with your family..what a horrible tragedy :(
Cheers,
Lizzie
http://lizzieshome.com
http://whisperofgrace.blogspot.com/ (enouragement and resources for new Christians)
So sorry about your loss; how absolutely tragic. You are right about God taking care of everything anyway. Family needs family right now as well as friends. You did the right thing.
Thanks for sharing – cuts through it all, doesn’t it?
Another question my dh has asked our oldest daughters which has helped them make life decisions is “what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?”.
You received a nugget of wisdom straight from God with that question. You’re right; God’s going to take care of you anyway so you might as well do what feels right without any worry about the future.
Still praying for you all… (Where in KS will you be?)
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.
Thank you for the reminder on perspective. I need to tape it to the bathroom mirror so I don’t forget! I tend to lose focus so easily sometimes.
Amen Sister! Wisdom indeed! Praying for you today!
Thank you so much for sharing. *hug*
Thank you so much for this post! I am so very sorry for your loss.
My family is going through a tough time too, as my MIL has just been diagnosed with cancer. I am going to share these thoughts with my husband today.
Very wise advice. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Still thinking of you and praying for you! No matter how long we have with those we love, it’s never enough…but heaven has no end. Blessings to you, Teresa
This is such a difficult time Laura. I am glad you are around wise people and were able to make the right decision.I pray all of your time there will be blessed.
Sharing this piece of wisdom will help others live their life better, and that honors your cousin. Blessings~
An excellent bit of wisdom!
When my father in law died a couple of years ago, I was worried about all the extra cash that was going out. We had to get a hotel room, some dry cleaning, food, etc. We had rent due and I was getting worried. My husband wisely advised me that God would take care of everything…
Wouldn’t you know that our church took up a love offering for us that was almost exactly equal to the amount that we had spent? It’s just amazing the ways that He takes care of us!
Laura, we prayed for you and your family during the worship time at my office this morning. We prayed that God will comfort you and give you hope even amid tragedy.
Laura-
Great post, someone once told me to think about things with the perspective of “what will this mean to mean 5 years from now” It really makes a difference when you look at the big picture. I know you will never regret staying, not one bit!
Praying for you and your family.
Toni