I always try to make my guests feel like I went out of my way to “treat” them to some good home cookin’, but I will let you know that I do compromise a little on some of the ingredients I use when I’m feeding a very large crowd. Hey, when you’re feeding 40 people five different meals within a week’s time, can you expect a girl to make all the mozzarella cheese and tortillas and bread for every meal?
Also, I’m not always willing to share some of my home-canned produce. I’d run out of our home-canned tomato sauce real fast if I used six jars to make enough lasagna to feed everyone one meal.
Is this selfish of me? Is it wrong of me to compromise? I don’t think so, but you may (kindly) disagree with me. My own family comes first and while I am very willing to share our good, healthy food on most occasions…I know that my resources are somewhat limited. I can’t just run right out and replace our home-grown organic produce once it’s gone. I have to ration it for the year and be wise with how I use it.
I still use real butter and in general “real ingredients” when I’m cooking for large crowds…I just don’t always whip out my stash of real maple syrup or sucanat.
I find that in general, people are so used to eating processed foods, that even my homemade food made with what I consider to be compromise food is a treat for them.
I also don’t feel like eating the occasional “less than the best” foods are going to kill my family. We eat very well at almost every meal. Eating the occasional store bought tortilla or white french bread from the bakery is okay. Really, I think it is.
I think that if I felt like I had to feed all of the extra people we feed our grass fed meat and homemade bread made with freshly ground flour…I would probably drop the whole thing and NOT FEED ANY EXTRA PEOPLE EVER. So what’s the trade off? Should I serve others, or be so worried about compromising ingredients that I never serve ever?
I will say that in our day to day company…the times that we have just a few people over at a time…I DO tend to stick with our normal way of eating and I do it without a problem. We’ve budgeted in extra knowing that we feed a lot of company, therefore I buy extra meat and can/freeze extra produce to accomodate. But that’s just enough for “regular” company. Its a little different when we’re feeding 34 extra people at one time!!
Oh, and I will also admit that during these days that we’re feeding all these extras…we’re using paper plates. :( I HATE using paper plates (both because of cost and because of waste) but seriously I don’t think I could stay sane if I was washing all those extra dishes. I’m still trying to get through a school day at home too, ya know? I bought a bag of Solo cups, had the girls write their names on them and we’re using them all week long. And I did NOT buy styrofoam anything…but still. I hate using disposable and I’m doing it anyway. I know my limits.
Alrighty, well this was a choppy and poorly written post. Let’s blame it on the fact that my week is VERY busy and I don’t have time to concentrate or edit. :)
I’d love for you to share your thoughts on when you compromise on healthy foods and when you don’t. And when do you pull out the paper plates? ;)
You are just awesome!! I love your blog.
I have found that so many are so used to the over processed foods, that REAL food tastes so different and they just don’t appreciate it. I already cooked a lot from scratch, but as I convert more and more to using REAL food, I’m finding it takes a little while for my family’s taste buds to really like it but once we do, when we taste something that we used to enjoy…we wonder what in the world did we like about it.
Paper plates, I use them too much unfortunately, especially in the summer when the kids aren’t in school. The dishwasher is human, and paper plates (particularly for lunch in the summer) makes my life soooooo much more enjoyable and my household just works better. I don’t like spending money on them, but until we remodel and install a dishwasher I accept the tremendous help they provide to me.
I compromise on healthy foods depending on who our guests are. I have a niece and nephew who won’t eat most food that I make from scratch. When they are coming over, usually for a weekend a couple times a year, I just plan on eating more convenience foods. I also use paper plates when we have more than 5 guests eating in our home or I’m in early pregnancy. We don’t have a dish washer and haven’t had one in 5 years so paper plates make it easier for me at those times.
You are amazing Laura. Please don’t ever feel bad about compromising on certain things when you are feeding a large group. I try to serve my family healthy foods too, but if I had to feed a whole women’s soccer team I would compromise WAY MORE than you do :-)
And remember, if you weren’t feeding them, they would be eating cafeteria food, fast food, take out, who knows what? You are definitely nourishing their bodies and giving them energy for the games and practices ahead!
Laura, I wouldn’t use my homemade stuff either! The food you make for us is delicious, and we love you for providing us with it!
You are so right Laura about how you probably wouldn’t do it if you had to use ALL your healthy ingredients, it would just be too expensive. Even when I’m making a meal for someone else, that cost can really add up. Let alone for 40 people! Excellent point. But, even though you’re using sugar and such, making things homemade is sadly, still more than most people get.
I had to compromise recently as well. We were camping with a few other families and i was in charge of the food. I had to shop for it all and they would pay me back. And since WE are the only ones obsessive about organic produce and non-homogenized milk, etc…I couldn’t justify making THEM spend the extra money. So my family downgraded for a week. I am sure it will be fine…lol.
I even bought eggo waffle brand ‘syrup’. I couldn’t face those people and tell them they owe me 15 bucks for the syrup! :)
What LaWanna said :)
Funny timing you should post about this, we’re finally converting to buying grass fed beef and pastured chickens (I just couldn’t find a source til now)–but for our Labor Day cookout, I was thinking of using the rest of the cheap store bought chicken we bought on sale and need to use up. I felt kinda bad about downgrading for them, although I know it’s the same they would buy. I do think most people will just be grateful to be together and eating food, especially some of the homemade stuff with it–so we shouldn’t feel bad, but I completely understand the dilema.
On paper plates, we stock up when coupons/sales happen and I try to always buy the compostable kind! Then I don’t feel too bad about the waste or the money. Chinet has a “home compostable” kind that is perfect!
i do the same as you. No worries.
You do a great job no matter what you serve them! Beats a $5 ‘hot and ready’ anyday!
These students are blessed to have your family there feeding and spending time with them. I work with college students and know that the most important thing is that you are providing them healthy foods and demonstrating how we are to treat each other! I’m sure their systems can handle the jarred tomato sauce…think about what gets put in them during the regular school year!! :-)
Paper plates… with the crowd, think of the water that you’re saving! It kinda of evens out in the end.
You are doing an amazing thing here. Don’t ever doubt yourself. Remember everyone, I mean everyone, around you sees what you do…and they remember that generousity and love more than the plates and the jarred sauce!
This is more of a general comment, but I just wanted to say what a blessing your blog has been to me. My kids are still little (1 and 3), but we are planning to homeschool. I grew up in a family of four children and we were all homeschooled. I saw how much work it was for my mom, and it made me unsure of whether I could actually do it (without losing my mind!). Reading your blog has encouraged me and given me the confidence to go for it. Thank you so much for all your hard work and willingness to put yourself out there in the blog world! God bless you!
Laura, this post makes you human! I thought I saw a big pack of napkins lol. at first I was like wow… I’m shocked she’d do that. Sometimes we put people on pedastals and forget they are human! I think my mouth dropped when you mentioned white sugar… that was really hard to believe. lol
We use paper plates almost daily. Hey, it’s paper! And we never use styrofoam. The Solo cups are GREAT! They can be washed and re-used NUMEROUS times (just not in the dishwasher–sorry lol)! Unlike paper cups, that barely make it thru ONE cup of anything.
You’re doing fine! If I had to feed 40 people EVERY DAY for a week.. I would be making MORE shortcuts! Don’t feel guilty or bad. You’re serving them FOOD! It might not be organic, or grass fed or pastured, but it’s food! This food is 100% better than fast food. They are getting HOMECOOKING! I know when I was in college, I CRAVED some homecooking. and that was before the organic stuff.
Food made w/LOTS of love is the best thing you can give anyone! Not food that’s all organic, or not made w/white sugar, but w/love!
I agree w/you tho.. our kids will not die if they eat white sugar, (once in a while of course) or go to McDonald’s for a treat.
I appreciate your post because I do the same thing. I make snacks every week for our youth group and sometimes cook for large crowds. Even “compromise” foods are usually an improvement over what many people usually eat.
So glad to hear this! I’ve been wondering about that as well. We love to have friends over, feed the small group dinner, and take meals to people, but it REALLY adds up! It’s already a stretch on our budget to buy the meat, milk, etc that we’d like. Thanks!
I compromise when I have to. A big family gathering yesterday for burgers on the grill. Homemade whole wheat buns, but beef from the local grocers. Garden fresh tomato/cuke salad, but corn on the cob from the local grocers. Homemade, lacto fermented mayo, but Heinz ketchup. I am only one woman, and I can’t do it all. So…I do what I can.
I do the same! What you’re doing for them is way better than ordering pizza, and you have to stay within your budget and plan for your family’s provision for the rest of the year. :)
I just found your website and i think you are an amazing young mother and wife. I have been looking at your recipes and all and I was wondering do I need to buy your torilla book to get your homemade torilla recipe. Every time I click on “torilla” in a recipe it sends me to your book to buy. Love your website and wished more mothers would do all you do..Thanks, Teresa
Thanks for your encouragement!! Yes, my tortilla recipe is only found in my tortilla ebook.
teresa,
The tortilla recipe is wonderful. I have tried several and Laura’s is the best. It is definitely worth buying the book. She has a lot of other great ideas in there too.
I agree with you. We just used paper plates for my son’s birthday party and while I disliked doing it, I know it’s not our normal routine so really, it’s okay. I use cloth napkins, dish rags, even cloth diapers. It’ll be okay and I’m doing what I can. I think that the mindset of all or nothing though it what keeps people from even making little changes. As you learn and find out more about why making these changes are important (whole foods, cloth, alternative energy, etc), it’s easy to see the need for the change but sometimes hard to either find a starting point or accept that you don’t have to change everything in your life overnight. It’s okay to take one step, then another, then another. But yeah, no matter how many steps I take, I’ll probably always do paper plates for parties and don’t know I’ll ever get good at making my own spaghetti sauce :)
I completely understand your compromising. I would do the same. It is expensive enough feeding your family “real” food, you cannot feed everyone elses families real food too. Besides, like someone else said, it take adjusting to some of the food we eat, to have someone jump right in isn’t easy. We don’t feed many guests, and I suppose if we had a small amount of people, I would cook as normal, but a large amount and I am in the compromising boat too.
Great post! I always feel bad when I buy the “cheap stuff” for entertaining guests. I know it makes me stingy not wanting to share the good stuff I have, but I know that usually my guests are not as concerned about the healthy foods like I am, so I figure they don’t really care and it saves my family money. It’s reassuring to know I’m not alone.
I think your approach is completely within reason–no need to feel guilty or ashamed. :)
We use paper plates for lunch a lot. Especially right now while I am in the middle of morning sickness. I just don’t have the energy to clean up the kitchen. Most days I don’t even have the energy to cook lunch, so the kids are on there own. Thankfully my other kids are all very self sufficient and great helpers.
As for compromising a few ingredients, I don’t think it’s any big deal. I think people understand. Besides, it’s probably what they are used to anyways.
Hi there! My opinion is that our service should always be with love and joy. If you put stress or strain on yourself or your family it takes from the joy of it. Every service we do for others takes a little of our time, effort and money, but there is a limit, and we should find the balance. I think your balance is great by the way. :)
Oh, dear…Mom guilt.
If only you knew how much the love that you put into each and every bite you make for your company nourishes their soul, you would know that what you have done for them far outweighs any little “compromise” you may be making for ingredients.
You are an amazing person. Have a great time with your houseful of people, and let what doesn’t matter go. = )
You are doing just fine, Laura. Those are yummy and healthy meals. Actually, I bet that the thing everyone will remember the most is the great fellowship and how nice you treated them. :)
I completely understand the dilemma, and I think I’m still working through what the answer is. Whenever I make something to take to our church small group, I get so torn! On the one hand, I don’t want to be stingy (especially with my fellow Christians!), but on the other hand, sometimes it’s kind of a “pearls before swine” type situation. Not that my friends are swine… but that they won’t appreciate the extra time/money, so maybe I should save it for someone who will?
I’d also just like to take this opportunity to say, you inspire me! I’m still on my real food journey, but several recent incidents of MSG-poisoning around here have convinced me even more that I just can’t let my family’s food out of my own hands. I probably cook something I found on this site at least twice a week, and your crispy cheese crackers have become a snacking staple in our house. Your attitude is exactly what I want to emulate — for the health of my family, I need to make almost all our food from scratch, BUT it’s okay to let some things slide, it doesn’t have to be perfect, and sometimes it’s okay to eat giant cookies for breakfast! :-) So, thank you, Laura!!
PS, I refer to you so often that my husband decided you needed a nickname besides “Laura whose blog recipes I’m always making.” You are now “Recipe Laura”. :-D
I liked this post a lot….And if you’re using REAL butter that’s all that counts :}}
As far as paper plates (not regarding you, because if I was feeding 40+ people I’d probably just invite them up to the pans and hand them a fork and tell to go for it): I nearly always use real plates and often the other good stuff. My grandmother used her sterling silver and china everyday and I still remember the fun of eating jello with the good spoons. So many people have nice things and they just sit in the china cabinet. Fortunately (knock on wood), we’re not a very breaky family with dishes (we just ding the cars) so I like the blessing of having gotten my grandmother’s things passed down to me. It’s not hard to wash dishes (even by hand) and dh and I enjoy cleaning up and having the party post-mortem afterwards.
One thing I like that you’ve talked about is not making it all harder than it needs to be! I used to be so nervous about “entertaining”, but then started having people over all the time and that really helped me relax. Martha Stewart and the Barefoot Contessa taught me a lot about making “regular” food, but using the good ingredients and having fun!
I know you feel like you are compromising but I am sure y our guests don’t feel that way at all. In fact I would guess that you are still feeding them better than they are use to. Plus you are putting a whole lot of love into your dishes.
When I have company over I like to cook their food with ingredients they are use to. So yeah, I may compromise for my family but it isn’t a compromise for my guests.
Paper plates…we are probably all guilty of using these precious time savers. I have decided to give up the guilt about using them.
I totally agree with you!
As far as paper plates, the chinet plates and some of the other brands are compostable. We have yard waste pickup and can just put them in the yard waste bin with our food scraps (we tried our own composting, but bears or racoons or something keeps destroying our bin so that doesn’t work for us). At least being able to compost the plates makes me feel better about using them.
Great post!
This is interesting timing. :-) We just got back from a family reunion this weekend. And the meals were split up so everyone provided one meal for the group. My sister and I were in charge of lunch. Instead of using my homemade ingredients that I would have taken along for my family we bought everything proceeded. Some times you have to take the easy way. And we always use paper plates when we are camping. Instead of throwing them away we burn them on the camp fire that we have going anyway.
I recently struggled with this. We were having guests over (an extra 4 adults) and I only had one organically raised free range chicken left in my freezer to last me for two weeks until the next slaughter date… so I struggled and struggled with what I should serve. I asked my friend for advice… she responded by saying… “Is is going to matter to them? Or are they just going to go home and eat Cheetos?.. ha ha I laughed and said, “yeah, they will probrably eat Cheetos or something like it” SO I compromised and bought a chicken from the grocery store.. We had a great time with our guests, and no one cared that the chicken was from Kroger:)
We use the compostable paper plates when we move and when I am pregnant (mostly at the beginning and the end). I feed large crowds other foods as well. I usually make a few healthy items as well mostly because I can not stand eating regular beef, The pictures of what they can eat run through my mind as I eat it, Yuck!
I agree with all the comments. It’s the way you treat them that counts more. Having guests is really a challenge especially when it comes to preparing something for them. You are not alone. :)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. My husband and I often struggle with this issue when we cook for outside crowds (e.g. church fellowship). Our conviction to eat only organic food is so strong I feel like a hipocryte (sp?) when I don’t follow the same philosophy when feeding others. Thus far we’ve decided to feed folks organic when it doesn’t break the bank and I try to sneak in as much whole wheat flour as I think the crowd will bear when they’re used to processed white bread. In the end, I look for one of my low cost recipes that I’d usually feed us at home. BUT, I’ve never fed dinner to a crowd of more than 10!!! You are amazing and inspiring! :)
Don’t feel guilty about it. If they eat unhealthy the rest of the time, they probably wouldn’t even notice or appreciate your efforts. And one day or one week of eating healthy, then going back to the same old way they always eat, wouldn’t do them any good anyway.
Just do the best you can.
I wanted to let you know about this absolutely fantastic discovery I’ve made in the paper plate arena.
http://www.mychinet.com/products/family/1
Paper plates that will compost in your home composter and are made from entirely recycled materials. I bought a huge container of them from sams recently and they are currently saving my life/sanity!