What is up with me encountering critters in my house? First the snake and now this.
I will say, right from the start, that having a snake in my house was a MUCH worse experience than this one. This one was mostly just funny and made my children laugh at me.
Early last week the boys and I took down our Christmas tree and decorations and boxed them up to store until next year. We keep all of our Christmas decor up in our attic, along with a various assortment of dust and dirt.
The boys hauled all of the boxes upstairs and put them at the base of the attic stairs. I was then planning to take the boxes up the steep steps into the attic.
So picture this: Four boys (fairly bored, disinterested and relieved to be finished with packing up decorations) gathered around 6-8 boxes all of various sizes and shapes at the base of a set of stairs leading up to an attic. One mom (also very relieved to be finished with packing up decorations and ready to move on with life) picking up one of the boxes to begin the trek up the stairs to deposit the goods. Sounds innocent enough wouldn’t you think? Kinda makes you want to yawn, doesn’t it?
I opened the attic door and carried Box Number 1 up exactly five steps before abruptly being greeted by loud flapping wings and a beak flying toward my face.
I yelled something intelligent like, “Aaauughhh!”, simultaneously jumped down all five steps in one leap and landed smack in the middle of my four boys and all the remaining boxes.
Oh, and I also slammed the door to the attic while I was leaping…all while still holding Box Number 1.
I have to say, the whole act was quite impressive and heroic.
The boys looked quite stunned at first, because well…this was not part of our yearly Christmas storage tradition.
It was then quite obvious that while they really wanted to make sure I was unharmed…they also really wanted to laugh. I’m also pretty sure they wanted to take a turn at the “go up five steps then leap back down while slamming a door” trick. Both of those activities are against the rules of the house…and to do them both at once? Cool.
I believe my oldest was the first to find his voice, “What was THAT about?” he tried to ask without smirking.
“THAT,” I told my boys, “Was a bird flying at my face. Don’t worry, I wasn’t really scared. I just didn’t want the bird to fly down and get into the house, because do you know how hard it would be to get a bird out of our house? That’s why I jumped down so quickly and slammed the door.”
We had a nice laugh together, then left the boxes at the foot of the stairs for my husband to deal with later.
Best part of the story: My father-in-law was visiting at the time. I went downstairs and, still a little out of breath from the whole experience said, “Hey, did you hear me yell and jump and wonder what was going on up there? There was a bird in the attic that flew at my face!”
My father-in-law just looked at me, quite interested and impressed with the situation.
Then he asked just as seriously as can be, “What kind of bird was it?”
;)
Funny story! I’m sure the boys loved it….all boys love a little excitement! :) Thank goodness it wasn’t a bat! YIKES!
After the day I’ve had (3 yr old skipped his nap & my almost 2 yr old is teething w/ molars & hubby is working all night so no break for me) I so needed the laugh. Sorry it’s at your expense :-) but I figure you share these stories as we moms have to learn how to laugh at yourselves. So glad that thing did not enter your house, that would have been a nightmare (but probably a really funny story too!)
I’m with Jodi. While I hate that my laughter came at your expense, today has been one of those “I’m A Real Mom” days and I was so happy to see you had left a funny story in my inbox. I’m sure your boys were quite impressed with those cool moves!
We have a small bird living in our garage- I think it finds it warm- he was very scared this morning when my 2 youngest boys startled him from his perch.
Such an exciting new tradition =)
Thank heavens you were agile enough to – in a super-woman-kind-of-way – bring your box of Christmas decorations back to the floor unharmed. Good thing you practiced jumping on the trampoline earlier this year! I’m sure that helped you get in shape to save the day today.
I’ve been there! Christmas morning ’08 I went down to the basement to get some clothes out of the dryer. When I loudly closed the dryer door an ENORMOUS flying creature with a 6ft(!!) wingspan and HUGE beady eyes came swooping down from the floor joists above. I tell you what, you have never seen a big ol’ 8 months pregnant woman hit the floor so fast in all your life! Armed with a nearby broom I RAN up the steps and slammed the door. I called farmer husband who was out in the barn to tell him I was pretty sure there was a HAWK in the basement. That man didn’t believe me{gasp}! Thinking that it was a little barn swallow that had come down the chimney seeking warmth he bravely went down to remove the invader. He was quite surprised to find something a bit larger and nearly as scared as his bride. He quickly caught our uninvited Christmas guest and released him outside. Granted it wasn’t a hawk, but it wasn’t a swallow either… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_Screech_Owl Yuck, I still get goosebumps seeing those beady eyes…
Bless you! I so needed this, I laughed so hard, my sides hurt! And there you were pregnant to boot! :)
“What kind of bird was it?!?!” Ummm, Dad. Let me go back and check. HAHA!!!!! But in your defence, that’s exactly how I screamed when I was preggers with my son and was going in my basement and was greeted by a squirrel half way up the stairs. :) But no one was home to hear it. :0
Laura, great story, I would have been freaked out too!!!
BUT I think I have one that will beat yours!
We have to check on my dad’s house & feed his cats when he travels. One day, I walked in and found a dead bird on his dining room floor. Hmmm. That’s not good. Dh was with me, he took it outside and put it in the back yard.
Then I came back with just my girls a day later. I noticed that one of the cats had barfed on the floor (lovely!) so I turned on the kitchen sink and let the water run. I was wetting my second wad of paper towels when I looked down into the sink and saw… a BAT trying to climb out of my dad’s garbage disposal!!! I was in COMPLETE SHOCK. He had his little head up and was holding himself up with his wings, water pouring over his head. I had no idea what to do but I was afraid he would make it out (somehow) and was concerned about rabies or whatever, so I turned the water off and ran out of the house with my girls. Then I got in the car and called my dad, who was at the airport. He could hardly believe me when I told him. “What? There is a bat in the sink?”
Anyway, he came home and instead of doing what I thought he would (get the bat out of his house) let’s just say that ummm he chose to “dispose” of the bat which was still in the sink. (Which I wasn’t happy he did that, tbh.)
Anyway, I’ll take a bird in the attic anyway! But ummm well the snake in the house, I do think that would do me in. ;)
Ew, ew, EWWWWWW!!! But great story. MUCH better than mine! Ew…..
BTW the bird and bat both got in through a hole which my dad has since patched. :) Meant to add that sorry.
Thank you for this wonderful story! I needed it, too! You are a very good writer. I look forward to reading more of your writings. I just found your site last week and was thrilled, I’ve been trying some Nourishing Traditions recipes and we grind our our wheat, and try to eat as healthily as possible, so I’m excited about trying some of your recipes. As well, I like the fact that you give pictures with some of your recipes.
Thank you for taking the time to be a Titus 2 woman!
And here you were just saying that you don’t think you get enough exercise…
that TOTALLY made me laugh! With you, not AT you…hehehe
Hahahaha!!! Oh. I needed that. Sorry to laugh at your expense!
It reminds me of my mom calling me a month or so ago when she found a bat in her finished basement while going down to switch laundry. She’s 54 and this is the first house she’s ever owned. It has a fireplace in the basement, which provided the perfect entrance for a little cold bat.
I’ve never heard my mom so hysterical! We had a super good laugh after it was all over too!
Thanks for sharing!
A bird flew in your face? I would have screamed too. I’m not afraid of birds per say, just random objects dive bombing into my face :-)
BTW I just have to say, I got the grain mill attachment for my kitchen aid mixer and I love it love it love it! I used your honey whole wheat bread recipe and it was amazing! I never thought I really liked bread, but my husband and I have almost finished off the loaf I made last night.
Thanks for all your recommendations, now I just have to find a cheap source of grain near me (Southeastern Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia). My whole foods has grain for $1.38 a pound, yikes! Too expensive for me!
What a funny story to add to your Christmas memories to retell each year. A few weeks ago two birds decided to take shelter from the cold in our garage. I did not know this, and of course, they decided to fly inches over my head to escape once I opened the garage door. I screamed like a 10 year old in a haunted house!
LOL!!! Oh, you are such great entertainment! I’ve never had the bird experience, but did have a baby snake in my dining room. YUCK!! I’m sure I was quite the sight trying to whack it with the longest-handled wooden spoon I could find! Then I wondered why the slithering creature was trying to strike at me! I finally stunned him with a smarting blow, then I was able to pick him up with some pliers and toss him out into the driveway for my husband to find later! Unfornately, my three daughters who were 3 yrs old at the time, witnessed the whole fiasco! They just stood there with eyes as big as saucers, probably wondering why I was very rudely saying, “What are you doing in my house!” or, “Get out of my house!” as I’m hitting the floor with their spanking spoon. Ahhh, the memories we create! BTW, I did break a piece off of the spoon, so we have a visual reminder of that very exciting episode!
I am laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my face! TFS!!
Thank you for giving me such a good laugh this morning. I love the way you write, you just bring your experiences to life! I can just see the boys first surprised, maybe a little shocked, then thinking wow what FUN!
Your Father-in-law’s remark was great!
I have an incident that my children still say, “Remember when Mom….and go into gales of laughter.” We had just moved to an old farmhouse in the country. My husband had to commute to the city everyday so he wasn’t home when we were visited by not one by two mice running through our dining/schoolroom. Let’s just say I don’t do mice. I was standing on my chair screaming and the children were trying to figure out what had taken over Mom. Every time my husband called that day the mice would reappear and I’d be screaming in his ear. :) I spent a lot of time that day perched up on a chair with my feet well off the floor. :) Thank goodness my husband finally made it home to take care of those two very unwanted guests. The children still think it’s hilarious how afraid Mom is of such little creatures. :)
Oh, too funny! Anything that catches up unaware like that certainly would starle (and probably scare!) me :)
That would have scared me to death! My mother’s attic is full of BATS and so when I first started reading, I thought that was what it was going to be about. Bats seriously give me a panic attack. They’re so…gross.
Birds, I like, but not when they’re flying at my face! I’m sure your boys thought it was a riot!