That’s the question the Whole Foods employee asked me as we were leaving the store Friday night. “Ma’am…are those your handcuffs?”
It’s a routine grocery store question, isn’t it? “Would you like paper or plastic?” “Did you find everything you were looking for?” “Do all of those boys belong to you?” “Are those your handcuffs?”
Or maybe that’s just me. Eh, I have four boys…questions like this have been typical for the past thirteen years.
Our youngest, Malachi, is very into playing “policeman”. Or “cowboy”. Or “Cowboy-Policeman-Ninja-Superhero”. Yes, he’s quite well rounded…we’re very proud.
His grandparents got him some handcuffs with a real key and everything at Christmas time. He couldn’t be more excited. The handcuffs round out his Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero outfit very well. He loves them and has them attached to his belt loop (right beside his holster and pistol) at all times – except for when we insist that he take them off…like at bath time or for Bible class.
Friday night, somehow the handcuffs made their way into the grocery store with us. I was busy trying to find the best deals on chicken and fish…leaving the police work to my six year old. Somewhere between the dairy section and aisle five, the handcuffs got hooked onto the handle of the grocery cart. Then, the Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero became distracted with the huge selection of cereal. Said handcuffs were forgotten as puffs of sugared peanut butter in boxes decorated with brightly colored panda bears became much more interesting.
We were through the line and ready to head out the door when a nice grocery bagger near the exit noticed the handcuffs and hollered, “Excuse me Ma’am…are those your handcuffs?”
More than a few customers looked up from picking out the prettiest apples to see what in the world the gal meant and who pray tell she was talking to.
What? That question isn’t a typical produce section question they’re used to hearing?
The key to the handcuffs was (of course) nowhere to be found…but if you’re smarter than a six year old (or at least as smart as a Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero), you know how to use the little “handcuff-release-gear-thingy” to open them up. Incidentally, it only took me two weeks to figure out that the cuffs had such a feature, after finding them hooked onto kitchen drawers and dining room chairs a few too many times for my liking. By the way, speaking as a common criminal at my house, I can attest to the fact that it is not easy to type with handcuffs on. Nor is it easy to reach the “handcuff-release-gear-thingy” on the left hand with a cuffed right hand.
Anyhoo…it didn’t take long for the other Whole Foods customers to figure out to whom the handcuffs on the cart belonged: The woman with a big grin and four handsome boys following her out the door.
It’s a good thing the rubber snake didn’t fall out of my purse right at that moment. Now THAT might have created a scene.
In case you’re interested…we had a delightful time at Whole Foods, using a few free gift cards we had earned through Shop it to Me referrals! Thank you so much to all of you who signed up. I hope you not only signed up, but also have been referring your family and friends so that you can earn free gift cards too!!
We were able to get chicken and tilapia and yogurt and butter and cheese (and some snack bars that got eaten on our way home!) for just over $20 out of pocket by using some in store coupons and our Shop it to Me gift cards. We were heading to Omaha anyway for Asa’s basketball game, so we were excited to make a Whole Foods run! I can not wait to eat that Tilapia!! (It was half price that day!)
Megan Wohlers says
I completely understand this story. You see, I have three boys. Aren’t they amazing? I love being a woman and knowing the intimate workings of the other sex.
Thank you for your posts. They are informative and interesting.
Char says
Hahahahahahaha…. I was laughing all the way through your story, and then fell out of my chair at the mention of the rubber snake.
And now I TOTALLY miss you and your Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero (and the other dudes too). :-)
Laura says
Oh I KNOW!!! Those visits with you just made us want MORE, huh?!?!?!
blair says
Yay! I live just outside OKC and I heard they were opening a new whole foods on the north side of the city. I think I will take the 45 minute drive to check them out.
Sami says
haha… My dad was a cop, and we ended up with real handcuffs! I know we had lots of keys around too, but my brother lost them all the day he decided to handcuff himself to the mailbox (where he had to wait until a friend of my dad’s was able to come unlock him!).
Ashley says
I once had to be sawed out of a pair of my cousin’s (very real) handcuffs…
By the way, I just looove those Nature’s Rancher chicken tenders (there’s a coupon for them in the current flyer/online) – but the breasts have always just seemed kind of huge and tough to me… since the tenders are the same price, I like them a lot better. :) They’re awesome cause you can take them right out of the freezer and into the pan!
Jennifer says
Brown Cow yogurt is the best!! (That is the yogurt you have in your picture in case that seems a little random).
Luke Holzmann says
Life with kids… not really all that dull [smile].
~Luke
Heather K. says
Boys are so wonderful. I just have one son and he was not much into that superhero stuff. But got plenty of plastic snakes still around and he is 15 years old. But your story reminded me of the time I was babysitting as a teen. Saw their son’s handcuffs sitting on the coffee table and though, “What the heck? I’m bored. Let’s try them on.” Well, I could not get out of them. Asked their son for the key but he had lost it. Somehow, I managed to call my mother with the cuffs on and she came to help get them off. Thanks for the story, it brought that memory back.
Pamela Hawkins says
Just read some interesting facts about the detrimental Omega 6 to Omega 3 ratio in Tilapia. Passing along this link just for you to check it out. Farm raised Tilapia isn’t all that great for our health…it was news to me! Going to start eating more salmon, tuna and trout! Mmm! Hope you find this helpful.
http://www.genesmart.com/pages/_free_high_omega_3_fish_guide/159.php
Laura says
Thanks for the link…I didn’t realize Tilapia was that low on the list. I knew farm raised fish isn’t really good, but since our family hardly ever eats fish at all (pretty hard to get fresh fish in Nebraska!) and since this fish at Whole Foods said it was “responsibly farmed” (whatever that means!!) and since it was on sale…we went for it. I must say, it was delicious! But I’m kinda glad we don’t have this temptation very close by so that we don’t “give in” very often. :)
Kim says
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks for the laugh on a otherwise boring day for me. I’m currently pregnant with our 2nd son and my husband is one of three boys in his family. I’ve heard plenty of stories about the mischief he and his brothers got into growing up and am wondering what sort of things my sons will do as they get older.
Mary says
When my 22 year old was 4, he went everywhere in full police officer regalia including handcuffs. I volunteered in the school library one afternoon a week at his sister’s school and took him with. The 3rd grade class came in, a 3rd grade boy picked up the handcuffs and handcuffed his arm to a chair and was “stuck”. You should have seen the look on the teacher’s face when my son told her there was no key! I unlatched it.
Jolene says
I love it when you post your “normal mom” stories…makes me laugh and then stop because I realize I am in the same boat. We don’t have a Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero in our home. We have the Rockstar-Knight-Darth Vader character living here…LOL In fact, our guy got a life sized Darth Vader helmet with voice changer for Christmas this year….he hardly takes it off! Gotta love little guys and their imaginations.
Christy says
Love it! We went to Whole Foods yesterday (with all five little ones in tow). Only managed to spill…cornmeal, quinoa, crostini, and raw sugar-not too bad! We also have a superhero/Indiana Jones/Obi Wan Kenobi living amongst us!
Sharon says
This is not related to the handcuff post, but rather from the WF photo of itekms you purchased. The chicken tenderlons, to be exact. As we continue to develop our nourishing lifestyle, I have recently been researching our options for chicken. From everything I’ve read, it says pastured chicken is the best. This is different from cage free/free range I am learning. Apparently, thost terms are rather loose, and can be easily misused. Cage-free simply means they have to be allowed outside of their cage each day– could only be 5 minutes. Free-range means they are allowed to move freely outside of a cage, but doesn’t mean it’s in a pastures– could be a large fenced in area. Plus, many of the true cage-free and free-range poultry have diets supplemented with soy (which is really bad for us). This information has made purchasing eggs, and chicken affordably (key word)rather challenging. So, what do you know about the chicken tenderloins from WF? Or, are they something you only purchase every now and again so you don’t fret about it? Where do you purchase your chicken?? I was purchasing Steiber’s eggs until I learned, afer emailing them, that they feed their chickens a feed composed of soy in addition to other grains. This is rather overwhelming because it seems like whenever you make one step forward in what you think is the right direction you learn that it wasn’t necessarily better for you, but it was definitely more expensive. Phew! Sorry for such a long question, but I wanted to give you all the details so you’re best able to give me an informed answer to the best of your knowledge. See what ya get for being a foodie braniac?!? Blessings, Sharon
Laura says
The whole chickens I buy are from a farm that “pastures” them, but they don’t sell boneless skinless anything, so I bought the chicken from WF just for convenience and because they’re better than Tyson or anything I can get around here. Occasionally I can find a good sale on Smart Chicken, but that too is really just a compromise meat.
Ruthie says
I also have 4 boys almost the same ages as yours. (Mine are 11, 9, 6 and 4). We have those very same handcuffs and the key has been missing for years. We have had some horrified mothers whose kids have come over for a playdate and become handcuffed to the excersize bike and can’t figure out the latch. Lots of fun for the boys though. Too bad we live so far away (Colorado Springs). Our boys would have a blast together.
Katie says
This made me laugh out loud. I have three boys and just this Christmas the middle one was asking specifically to spend his Christmas money from his uncle on a pair of handcuffs. I guess it is not the season for handcuffs around here, cause we could not find any in the several stores we checked. I asked him what he planned to do with them and he clearly informed me that he would use them to lock up his brothers. At least he is honest! I love having boys, never a dull moment. By the way, we have a cowboy/ninja/spy/jedi around here. Our dress up tub one of the favorite choices to play with.
Sherri says
In response to someone mentioning soy in Chicken feed, we are having the hardest time finding soy free chicken feed unless you make your own. At the moment , I’m not “up to” making our own. Maybe someday :) We have our own chickens for the eggs. Laura , what do you feel about soy in Chicken feed? Most everyone uses it, even our local all grass fed , organic, raw milk supplier uses it for their chickens in the wintertime when its hard to get that grass. Its so hard to do everything “perfectly” that I thought if we are doing soy free for pretty much everything else… some soy in the feed would be tolerable. Do you agree with that? The feed we are using has roasted soy in the mix which I hear his better than the kind with the oil extracted.
Sherri
Laura says
I emailed my friend about this (she’s the friend I buy my eggs from!!). Here is her reply to me:
If you want to avoid soy and many other nasties, don’t buy commercial feed. (: I don’t know if there is a ‘natural’ brand out there that has a good product, but you’d pay through the nose to get it. I occasionally have to resort to it,as I have nothing else. I avoid it as much as I can, however. The commercial stuff has all kinds of questionables in it, as far as I know. So, that’s why when all of you dream about having chickens, I try to keep reality present. Feed is my biggest issue. If there is a small egg operation somewhere, and they grind their own feed, this person could have them grind some. Again, it’s not cheap. We also buy screenings from the grain place in big super sacks when they have it. Screenings are the pieces that don’t pass inspection to be used for human consumption. Usually, it’s not free of weed seed, or other seed. Or the grains are the wrong size. But you are at the mercy of whatever they have available. I don’t have an issue with feeding them whatever screenings we can find as long as they are also ranging. And if I had a spot and all the necessary equipment, I’d raise worms to feed them during the winter. (:
The Joel Salatin books have a chicken feed recipe. I suppose they could try going to the local elevator to see if they’d mix them a chicken feed. You wouldn’t escape the GMO’s, but you would escape the soy. I don’t know if they would do that, or not. They’d probably think you were crazy, since they also sell bags of chicken feed.
Suanna says
SO FUNNY!
Angela Hedican says
Had a similar experience at the dry cleaner’s recently. I lugged my very full dry cleaning bag up on the counter, where it landed with a “thunk” instead of a “thump”. The lady at the counter looked at me, and I said, “Wow, what was that? Can’t wait to see what made that noise!” So I dutifully dug out all my husband’s shirts and pants, and when I reached the bottom, she asked, “Well, what was it?” To which I had to respond, “Handcuffs.” You should have seen the look on her face! My husband is a reserve police officer, and his cuffs fell out of his duty bag on the shelf above the dry cleaning bag.