It was the longest I’d ever been apart from one of my children.
Asa just got home after being away church camp for two entire weeks. Two weeks is a long time. I felt like my right arm was missing. I was so, so happy for him to be at camp, but I missed him so much at times I could hardly breathe.
Can you tell that he is my firstborn? The one who has to “break me in” to new things? This must be part of the loosening the grip thing, huh?
After he’d been gone for 13 days and the time was coming for us to pick him up soon, I emailed my friend to say, “Will it embarrass him too much if I hug him for a solid five minutes and smell his hair and cry when we pick him up at camp tomorrow?” (I was kidding, I think.)
And then I shared my fear. My fear that his being away and working toward independence during these past two weeks would have changed everything. That he would come home and nothing would ever be the same again.
I don’t know why I was afraid. But I was. Change is never easy. I don’t like change.
Asa did come home changed. His eyes are different. His smile is different. It was as if we had dropped off a boy and two weeks later, we picked up a young man.
With tears in his eyes, he told us how being at camp had changed him. How spending one on one time with God each morning had helped him to grow spiritually. How he’d taken part in leading songs around the camp fire. How he’d led the entire group of campers in a devotional one morning.
For the record, he did let me hug him in front of his friends at camp when we arrived. Twice. He didn’t seem to mind. (I did, however, refrain from sobbing into his hair, in case you were wondering.)
My boy is growing up. And I like it.
Maybe change isn’t always so bad.
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It’s so excited to hear about young men with a heart for the Lord and leadership! I agree – this is a good change :-) I get choked up reading this and pray my sweet 3 month old son will one day be the same. Praise God!!
How wonderful Asa got a chance to be at camp for two weeks! I’m with you, I dont like change too much. But our boys do eventually grow up. As for what I’m grateful for — knowing that although I dont know what the future holds, I know Who holds the future. So much of life is uncertain right now, yet I know God is in charge. I feel at peace with that right now.
Hi, just stopped by your blog (via Heather at Out of the Box and Into the Kitchen) and just had to comment! I don’t have a teenager, but I do absolutetly remember when I went to youth camp. The youth at our church just came back from camp, too, and there is an noticable difference in many of them. It’s not they are suddenly taller or showind more physical maturity, but there is a change. And I like it. :)
Hoping to read more of your blog and stories of homeschooling!
I understand those “mom” moments! Today my 17yr old daughter has come to terms with God’ calling on her to the mission field! She wrote an incredible “Note” about it on facebook and shared it with everyone she could think of. It is a very similar feeling. It’s scary as a mom to think of the possibilities of her being far away one day, but also such a sense of awe that she is following God’s will for her life. It is amazing to see our children follow the Lord…it is humbling because we know of our own mistakes and failures.
Ahhh….my own Asa is almost 6 years old and I know too, there will be a day when I have to “let go”. Thanks for sharing such a great story. Just today he called me “Mommy” in front of his older friends (8 and 9 year olds) and I just melted….knowing that these times won’t last much longer. ;)
Your story has brought my heart such joy! What a blessing to know that your child has a faith of his own! That’s my prayer for my little guys (5 and 1.5) – that they would experience a real and growing relationship with their Father, that they would know for themselves His amazing love, that they would want to share it with the world… God’s richest blessing on you and yours, Laura!
I love this! And as a mother I can totally relate to all the feelings you shared!
I really understand what you meant in this post. Although my oldest was gone 2 weeks in a row, she was gone 3 weeks in a row, just being home a night or two on those weekends. I was so glad when she was home to stay! But, I agree, it is kind of a preparation for the future and the Bible camps/mission trips are such wonderful experiences…it is definitely worth it for them.
How bittersweet! Being a mom, you want your kids to grow, but at the same time, you dread it too….yep, part of that letting go. My oldest is almost 10 and I am apprehensive about him taking that first step into adulthood, thankfully that is years away…I hope…but, like your Asa, my Joshua is a great kid and becoming a great young man. I just need to remember to trust in God’s plan for all of us and know He would not ever leave my Joshua alone.
That was so touching! I am a first-born, and I have always appreciated that my dad let me go…but he is always there for me if I need him. I am almost 30, but I know I can always count on my dad. =)
Praise the Lord! What a wonderful thing to hear this morning!
Thanks for sharing this Laura. My oldest, Heaven, is only 9 but I can see her changing already. I was fighting back the tears when you said he told you how time alone with God had changed him. How proud you must be of him! Shoot, I’m proud of him and he’s not even mine…lol! It’s obvious that you are doing a great job with him!!!
Bless your heart! Letting go (even just a little for a short time) is a part of parenting that is so important when it comes to teaching independence. Blessings to you and yours Laura!
Our 16 yr old daughter left yesterday for a week long trip with our church youth group. They have gone out to a World Changers worksite to help those less fortunate repair their homes, and to share the gospel with these families. I miss her terribly. She has never been gone this long or so far away. As much as I miss her though, I know this experience will be great for her and hopefully strengthen her relationship with the Lord.
I heart Gratituesday!
I am grateful for my husband getting to stay on dayshift for the rest of this year until next shift bid. Our marriage was on the rocks early this year and I was having a complicated pregnancy so he was temporarily given dayshift due to my pregnancy complications. He just received word this morning he can remain on dayshift. When he was placed on dayshift things were rocky but him being home more has really helped our marriage.
I am thankful for my girls and their independence from me but reliance of God. My firstborn is on her first mission trip and although I miss her, I know she is doing what she shoudl be doing. I know that she too will come home changed!
very thankful for my children today giggling and happy even when I’m not:)
Awww … I don’t like change either. Your son sounds like a fine young man.