It’s not like I’ve tried to hide anything. I’m pretty sure you all know I’m as real as they come.
I post about the times I burn dinner, shoot ketchup into the living room, overflow the bathtub, don’t get around to sweeping my kitchen floor for two and a half weeks, and yell at my kids for not going to the van when I’ve asked them three or seven times. I’ve made it clear that I haven’t a clue how to fix my hair, how to decorate my living room walls, or how to layer shirts fashionably (unless we’re talking about putting a t-shirt under a hoodie, because I have mastered that one). My front closet smells worse than a boy’s locker room and looks like a used sporting goods store threw up inside.
But being real and being raw are two different things. Being real means that I admit that I’m not perfect and that I make mistakes. Being raw means that I get on my knees, expose my weaknesses, and recognize my absolute need for a Savior.
I didn’t know how much I needed to work on “self” until slowly (or quickly, depending on how it has felt on any given day), God began breaking down walls of pride, peeling away layers of selfish sin, and teaching me how to be more fully His.
I remember asking Him to help me understand His power at work in my life. I naively assumed that meant He would reveal a couple of scriptures to me, and give me some “wow God you’re so neat and powerful” moments. Right? Because God’s lessons do usually come to us come in fluffy, bright packages that are bursting with bubbles, confetti, and goose feathers. Right.
In many ways, the past year has been very difficult for me. While I’ve mostly been able to carry on with life as normal – caring for my family, writing and sharing with you here on this site, and participating in various ministries – I’ve also been in the midst of some hard core spiritual and emotional battles. I am weary. I am worn. But because of Jesus, I am victorious.
There is great beauty in becoming broken for Christ. His healing and fulfillment can only come when we absolutely surrender ourselves and become open to what He wants us to learn. As He prunes away at the pieces of my heart and life that are unfruitful, I find myself relearning what it is to be a godly wife, mother, friend, and servant. How to love as Christ loves. How to walk my days with the Spirit as a guide.
And through it all, I find that my areas of weakness truly are glorious, because that is where Jesus can shine through me best. That is where pride dissolves and humility reigns.
While God’s lessons aren’t without pain, He has provided me a soft place to fall. I would not trade what I am experiencing to become my old self again. He is faithful to walk this journey with me and to provide who and what I need during every painful and victorious moment.
Today, I’m thankful to be broken. To become broken is the only way to become whole.
I’m so proud of you, dear friend, for letting Him work in you. Love and prayers!
Your prayers and friendship mean so much. Thanks for letting me be real (raw) with you. :)
Thanks for sharing so personally and speaking truth, Laura. I’m grateful for the sign God placed in my life…two doors down.
Praying for you dear sister. I LOVE your transparency through ALL that you write about whether a recipe or God’s touch on your life.
God IS doing a work in you and through YOUR weakness…HE can be better seen. Be revived in God’s blessings today, sweet one.
blessings,
Shan
http://www.The-How-to-Guru.com
Thanks for sharing. Your words bring to mind 2 Corinthians 12:9.
Wow, I can totally relate to this post! Thank you for sharing your heart. I find it encouraging to read about how others are working through their struggles Biblically, as I find that those around me often don’t understand where I’m at and find it easy to condemn when others are going through spiritual struggles. Thank you for being real AND raw. I hope that my children can see me exhibiting the same characteristics…of being “raw” and letting God work through circumstances that aren’t easy. I’m learning how important prayer is every day…All DAY. =)
I too am broken. These past 4 1/2 years with Rich being disabled has broken me. I am only made whole in God. I love you Laura. May God heal the wounds you carry. All my love, Jill
Amen sister. I am also broken my world got turn upside down and and am slowly coming back and to the new normal. Last week was a hard week and yesterday I was in the shower and I got on my knees and pray and now I feel at peace and god is working in my life. I just need to let him be in control and stop being stubborn. There was time this year that the only thing I knew and hold hope to was jesus was my savior and he did for my sins. God Bless you and your family
Dear Laura,
Thank you for sharing your heart, and how God is working in your life. This brought me to tears, as I look back over MY past year, and how, in many ways, God is doing a similar work in me. I can honestly say that, for the first time in my 36 years, I’m finally able to *begin* to understand how precious and beautiful the Lord is, and what a joy it is to serve Him.
My favorite song right now is “Where You Begin” by Mandisa. I encourage you to look it up! But have a tissue handy, it’s beautiful!
Love you, my sister in Christ.
Thank you Laura for being so raw! Your ministry here is a blessing to so many of us. Your website has encouraged me to completely change my way of eating and loosing 35 lbs. is a bonus. There is a new song out about how beautiful it is to be broken, how marvelous it is to make mistakes and for weeks I could not get the meaning of it, but now I see that because of our brokenness God shines. Our faith grows as God molds us into what He desires. Thankful for brokenness today!
Wow, totally reminiscent of my Bible Study this morning. Reading in Luke 20, through the Loving Like Jesus study. It made me so thankful, all over again, for my brokenness, my need for God, and my Salvation. Never want to take those for granted!
Andrea L.
I’m grateful for these words today. I needed them.
I love Gratituesday! I love your website too! I’m so happy I found it. I don’t know you personally but I like getting to know you thru your blog. You are an inspiration in my kitchen and in my personal life. I admire your love for our Savior and how open you are about it. We all can become better thru Him, His grace is sufficient. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for keeping it real.
Dear Laura,
Thank you for your post. This is the same place I’m in right now and its encouraging to hear of others. Jesus is my one and only Savior and I’m so thankful to Him and for Him. I love your blog and pray for you and your family.
Well, hugs to you first of all. I know just what you’re talking about. There are times when I find myself wanting to ask for God’s help, but I stop short because I know. I know I may not be ready for what He would need to do. I know I’m preparing to whine rather than work and endure to get to a better place. I think you are very brave for sticking with the work God gave you. Lots of people would given up and stuck with the status quo. I know that weary feeling. Wishing you rest and rejuvenation along your journey. Thank you for sharing! Also very brave. :)
thank you so much as always for your openness and honesty and desire to always point others to Christ through your struggles and victories. I reposted to facebook and pray that God uses it to speak to someone else like He did me. Praying for you and your ministry today!
You have just summed up exactly what I’m going through right now! This is such a blessing. You put into words exactly what I am feeling. I had all the bits and pieces in my mind but you put it into a cohesive essay that helped me tie it all together for my own life. God is awesome!
Bless you for your honesty and your obedience.
Thank you for ministering to me today. I am in the same spot, and I needed that. May God bless you for your openness.
Mary
I just want to give you a hug. You are a true blessing in my life. :)
Laura, thanks for sharing your innermost personal battles. It helps us to know that we aren’t the only ones, which makes me feel that I am not alone. I to must remember it is because of Christ’s grace, that I must surrender all, dieing to my own selfish ways.
When I read your post, a favorite song I love, came toy mind. Wanted to share with you.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sL-mF_FwPnI
Sweetly Broken by Jerrmy Riddle
Once again, thank you for sharing,
Susan
Thank you so much for this series, Laura. I felt like you were writing my life, word for word. So much so that I pinned the entire series to my Pinterest account, because, well, if you wrote it so well, there’s no reason for me to explain this kind of journey in my own words! Thanks again.