Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

Lord, Get Me Off This Crazy Brain Train

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All aboard! Who’s with me? We’re heading south toward Crazy, passing through Unproductive, Distracted, and Terribly Unpleasant along the way.

Lord! Get me off this Crazy Brain Train!

Do you know what’s great about women? We are multi-taskers. We can get things done like nobody’s business. Our brains are wired to think about what to make for dinner – while we’re switching out laundry, while we’re on the phone setting up an appointment, while we’re watching the kids to make sure they are safe. This is a gift! God made us this way!

Satan though. He’s a sly one. He likes to take what God did and flip a switch – just a tiny one – to mess up what God created perfectly and turn it into something miserable. He makes it seem okay, or at the very least, he makes it easy for us to shift the blame to others so that we not only justify our actions and attitudes – we don’t even recognize them for what they are: sinful.

So hello, fellow multi-taskers. Praise God with me for the gift He’s given us to be able to think of so many productive and meaningful thoughts at the same time. But be on guard with me, too. This unique and blessed gift often causes more anxt, worry, and fear than godly productivity. I can make breakfast, plan dinner, be mad at my husband, be worried about my teenagers, and re-play a conversation with a friend that’s bothering me – all at the same time. This is multi-tasking in a gruesome form.

The noise is deafening – turning my focus in eight different directions at the same time – none of them focused upward. I hear the battles raging for my mental energy to dwell on what I can not change. I groan inwardly at all I wish I would have said and what I hope she heard when we visited. I look ahead four years and try to create the impossible. It’s loud here. It’s confusing. It’s physically exhausting.

The Crazy Brain Train. We have got to get off.  Don’t even wait for the next stop. Just take a huge breath and jump. You’ll be safe. What? Like it’s any better aboard the train? What holds us here? Do we enjoy the crazy?

Take Every Thought Captive

You know how we gain knowledge of God? We read His Word.  Like we need food and water – we devour everything He has to say. We feast on it with our very breath. His Truth becomes our life. Our sustenance.

You know how we demolish arguments and every idle thought that wants to make itself more important than the words the Father is trying to tell us? We take the thought captive.  We stop the thought in its tracks. We drop-kick it in the name of Jesus. We listen to God’s voice – the voice we can only hear when we get rid of the other noise and listen to His – strong and clear. We replace the ugly, unproductive thoughts with Truth.

His Truth silences the crazy.

“…Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2 (read the whole chapter!)

Hearing too much noise and not able to hear God? Look up!!  Fix your eyes on Jesus. Let the Lord take you off the Crazy Brain Train so that you can enjoy the Peaceful Heart He is waiting to give you.

Still multi-tasking? You bet. We’re killin’ it, knocking out everything on the to-do list God calls us to do. But our hearts and minds are at peace. We’re using this gift, and we’re doing it right – with our eyes fixed on Him.

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We Need Each Other {Guest Post at StrongChurch.org}

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strong_church

I am honored to have my post featured today at StrongChurch.org. I’d love for you to head over there and read it. Here’s a snippet:

… And by all means, we don’t want to embarrass ourselves by sharing what we are truly struggling with. That might get too personal. It might reveal something ugly. No, we’d best keep our issues to ourselves.

That’s why our conversations in the church foyer often sound like this, “How are you?” “Fine, how are you?” “Fine.” We call it fellowship, even though I often have a more meaningful conversation with the bagger at the grocery store. (“Paper or plastic?”) ….

Read the entire post at StrongChurch.org

 

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Gratituesday: More Than Enough

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I have a funny habit when it comes to enjoying my music. When I find a song that I really like, I sit at my computer and listen to it over and over and over. I mean, like obsessively. I can’t necessarily get any worthy writing done while I’ve got music cranked up at my computer, but I can answer emails, organize blogging schedules, or pay bills while I listen and sing.

Let’s just pause right here to (let me get on my soap box and) note that I think real worship happens on a Sunday morning while at church, and while you’re sitting in your sweaty work-out clothes at your computer on any day of the week. I love both and feel that both are necessary. Life is worship. Sweaty work-out clothes are optional. ;)

My most recent song obsession is More Than Enough, by Newsboys. One of our boys got the CD for Christmas, and we’ve been listening to it often in the van. I love Newsboys. This song – it’s an incredible worship song. I could go on and on, but the song speaks for itself. Play the song and join me in worshiping the God who is more than enough.

Share how God is working in your life on your blog, then come link up with us here. If you don’t have a blog, be sure to leave a comment letting us know what you’re grateful for!
If you are linking up a blog post for Gratituesday,please copy and paste the following sentence into your post! Thanks!
Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

 

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Selfless

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~Appreciate Your Spouse~Buoyancy in Marriage~Consult Your Partner~
~Dream Together Part One ~Dream Together Part Two~Empower Your Spouse~
~Have Fun With Your Spouse~Give to One Another~Honor Each Other~
~Be Intentional~Jubilee~Kingdom Focused~Listen~~Mentor Relationships~
~Nourish~Own It~Pray With Each Other~Quick to Listen~Read Together~

Selfless

Symbiotic Relationships – Matt’s Thoughts

Just a reminder in case you forgot: The universe does not revolve around you…It revolves around me. HaHa and Ouch because that’s what I’m constantly fighting. I need the reminder found in Philippians 2:4, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

When the universe revolves around me, then the relationships I form are self-serving. I befriend someone who is an encourager in order to stroke my ego. I spend time with another so that it will make me look good. I get married for what I’m going to get out of it. God’s design is best, where a relationship sharpens both people (Proverbs 27:17).

At our family trip to the Omaha Zoo this summer I learned about the three different symbiotic relationships – parasitism, commensalism and mutualism. Symbiosis is “the living together in more or less intimate association or close union of two dissimilar organisms” (from merriam-webster.com). (It makes me laugh when I connect symbiosis to marriage as the “union of two dissimilar organisms.”)

Let’s each evaluate our role in our symbiotic marriage relationships while defining the three types. Does your role fall into the category of parasitism where you are living entirely for yourself to the detriment of your spouse? Maybe commensalism sounds more like the way you treat your spouse. You obtain benefits from the other organism in your more or less intimate association while you neither damage nor benefit them…even roommates should perform better. If you are, instead, selflessly laying your life down for your spouse and your spouse is doing the same, then you are practicing mutualism- a mutually beneficial relationship. Healthy marriages are mutualistic relationships where you serve and sharpen one another because you are selfless.

True Joy – Laura’s Thoughts

I have found that when I am truly seeking to live selflessly, that is when I am most joyful. Ironic, isn’t it? I would think that my happiness would overflow each time I am able to get my own way and do things exactly the way I want to do them, thankyouverymuch.

It is okay to allow yourself to be served, to be encouraged by others, to spend time with people who will make you a better person. But if your heart is focused on self – getting, doing and having things your way – and not on what you can give, do and share with others, you will never experience true joy.

It’s a beautiful thing when a husband and wife both seek to serve one another selflessly. Needs are met, bitterness and anger fade away, and true peace and joy fill the home.

Selflessness begins with you. Who are you living for?

Ladies, we know you’re reading here more often than the guys. ;)  We’d love husbands to read this article as well. If you feel so inclined please send the link to your husbands, or if it’s easier, we’ve created a downloadable article for you to quickly print off and share. Healthy Marriage Tips A to Z – Selfless

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Buoyancy in Marriage

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Are You Buoyant?

Unsinkable…ness – Matt’s Thoughts

Do you remember the little jingle “The unsinkable taste of Cheerios, not a lot of sugar to weigh down those Cheerios”? (The off brands are unsinkable too by the way.)  You push it down with your spoon and it slides to the side and floats to the top in defiance. You cover it with banana slices and BAM it pops up next to the banana slice with arrogance. You struggle to destroy it and all the evil that lies within it by taking it to Mt. Doom in Mordor where the ring was forged and…oh, sorry, wrong ring.

So, Cheerios – and the off brands of it – are buoyant. Seemingly no matter what is done they overcome and rise to the top. Does that describe you? Do you choose to rise to the top, or do you allow circumstances to dictate your mood? This is a mindset in life that has implications in marriage. People in healthy marriages rise to the top instead of fighting each other. We achieve this by recognizing who the enemy is, joining forces with our covenant partner and relying on the faithful Lord – the original rotfl.

The enemy is Satan, the accuser*. We are in the trench side by side with our spouse defending each other by building each other up with appreciative actions and words. Satan wants to tear down our marriage relationship and friendly fire is one of his most effective tactics. In our family a verse we often quote at meal times is, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). The children think we are directing this teaching at them, but I need this drilled into me to help me keep my aim away from Laura.

On my own I don’t have that unsinkable…ness, but the Lord is faithful and buoys me. It’s a matter of me letting go of my selfishness and living by His Spirit. As with living by the words in James 1:19 this is easier said than done. If we allow, God’s grace changes us to be more like him day by day.

Lord of the Rings – Laura’s Thoughts

Admittedly, I know a lot more about Cheerios than I know about Mt. Doom in Mordor in Lord of the Rings. Four boys and thirteen thousand (off brand) Cheerios later, I’ve seen the buoyancy of Cheerios a few times. And yet, Matt got me thinking about the Lord of the Rings.

Our wedding rings symbolically bind us. They represent the covenant we made with each other and to God on our wedding day.

We have two choices:  We can let God be at the center of our marriage, and let Him give us the grace to react and respond to our spouse in a godly way – or we can let Satan creep in and chink away at the beauty of the bond that our wedding rings represent. We can buoy, even when we don’t feel like it, even when it hurts, even when it’s hard – or we can give in to the selfishness that at the time seems the easier choice.

The question we must ask ourselves is this:  In our marriage, who is the Lord of the Rings? Is it God – or is it the Deceiver? Are we allowing God to help us rise to the top, or are we carelessly sinking into a pit of selfish living?

 *Read Rev. 12:9-12 for insight on the accuser and how to overcome him.

Ladies, we know you’re reading here more often than the guys. ;)  We’d love husbands to read this article as well. Please send the link to your husbands, or if it’s easier, we’ve created a downloadable article for you to quickly print off and share. Print Healthy Marriage Tips A to Z – Buoyancy.

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Healthy Marriage Tips from A to Z

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I am excited to announce a new feature here at Heavenly Homemakers – Healthy Marriage Tips from A to Z. This is a series of posts that we’ll run once a week for the next 26 weeks, until we work all the way through the alphabet.

What I hope you’ll enjoy about Healthy Marriage Tips from A to Z  is that my husband Matt and I are teaming up to write these posts. They’ll be presented from his perspective and from mine, whether we happen to think the same way about each topic or not. Of course we always agree on every topic. Except for when we don’t. ;)

Our marriage isn’t perfect, but we have been blessed with what we feel is a healthy marriage. This is a gift from God, and we work hard together to keep our marriage healthy. Both Matt and I have a heart to encourage healthy marriage relationships in those around us as well. That is how the idea for this series of posts was born.

Later this week, we’ll be back with the first post of this series – a topic beginning with the letter A. What do you think we’ll start talking about first? Anger – Argue – Aggravate – Aggressive? Um, no. We don’t really plan on giving you tips on Aggravating Your Spouse. We’ve got a much more positive topic in mind.

Avoid? Awful? Against?

You can keep guessing, but I’m not gonna tell you our topic. But it sure is fun thinking of A words that don’t describe a healthy marriage. :)

Aftershock, Awkward, Annoying…

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What My Husband Needs (I mean your husband, well…you know what I mean)

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help meet

You’ve read many of the books or heard much of the “good wife” advice that I’ve heard right? That advice that states that I need to greet my husband at the door each night when he comes home from work looking refreshed and lovely because otherwise I’m not showing my love for him. Apparently I’m supposed to be wearing the sweater he loves (always) and have my hair curled and pretty (at precisely 5:05)…the house is supposed to be clean and if I’m not mistaken, I am supposed to kiss my husband for a full minute (One Mississippi, Two Mississippi…) immediately when he walks in from his hard day at work. I also need to train my children to run in and greet him (what, in the middle of our kiss?!) so that they can show their Daddy how much he means to them.

But wait, there are other books that tell me that when a man comes home from work, he needs a good bit of time to wind down before he is to be bothered. He should be allowed to go “into his cave” all by himself with no one to touch him or ask him how his day went and I am certainly not to begin telling him how my day went until he has had exactly 47 minutes (or whatever) alone in his cave and is ready to give me his full attention.

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to kiss him in the cave or not. 

Is it just me, or is there a little bit of contradictory marriage advice out there? And while I think that so many of the aforementioned ideas are great and possibly valid, I can often feel overwhelmed with all of the “good advice” and feel like I just don’t measure up because I can’t do all of those things.

I would like to suggest that each of us, as wives, need to look at what our individual husband’s needs and desires are and focus on meeting those needs.

My husband personally doesn’t care if my hair is curled and lovely when he walks in the door. (Thank goodness, since as we all know, I rarely have time to curl my hair and you will often find a good bit of flour in the wisps falling into my face.)  He actually appreciates the fact that although I do care to keep myself clean and neat (flour in the hair being an exception), I don’t spend much time primping in front of a mirror every day. He doesn’t expect the house to be perfect and he doesn’t really have a cave. He would probably love it if I kissed him for 60 whole seconds (…Twenty-Four Mississippi…) when he walks in the door, but there are usually four loud and excited children who beat me to the door and if all I’m able to do is look up from my biscuit dough with a crooked smile…he still knows I love him.

Because I show him in ways that HE needs. 

It doesn’t matter what all the other husbands need.  All that matters to me is what MY husband needs. 

It’s good to listen to advice from Godly people and to read good Christian books on marriage. There are some fantastic words of wisdom to learn from. But take that advice and communicate with your husband about what he needs from you. Knowing that you’re doing just what your husband needs feels a whole lot better than trying to meet the needs defined in a book.

And now…just because I just really want to…I’m going to find my husband and practice the infamous 60-second kiss. (…Forty-Seven Mississippi…)

How about we call it “The Kississippi”?

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Becoming a Better Help Meet: Remind Yourself!

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help meet

Today I just want to share a simple little thing I do to remind myself all day that I think my husband is awesome!

This all came about rather innocently. I didn’t intentionally create this little exercise so that I could remind myself of how much I love Matt. It just happened, and then I realized how cool it was. It’s profound…are you ready?! 

I set one of my computer passwords (one that I use frequently) to say something great about Matt.  I was feeling giddy one day, and I needed to set a new password…and so just like I was in junior high writing “I LOVE MATT” on the side of my notebook between classes, I set my password to say it.

(“I LOVE MATT” isn’t the password, by the way. What, do you think I’d just tell all of you one of my passwords?)

(Or maybe it IS the password and I’m just telling you it isn’t just to throw you off.)

(Wow, I just forever keep you hopping, don’t I?)

But don’t you remember those feelings you felt back when you and your husband were dating and you couldn’t stop thinking about him and you wanted to carve your initials together into a tree? And tell all your friends about how great he was? And write his name on stuff?

Somehow life takes over and reality sets in and we as a couple become comfortable and not so giddy anymore. That’s mostly okay. We don’t really have time to sit around and sigh and daydream.

But having my password set to remind me all day long that I LOVE MATT (or something else, or not), has been so super neat. Like, totally.  (That would be me reverting back to junior high lingo.)

Typing in the words reminds me several times a day of how much I love my  husband. And in the middle of a very busy life full of activity and just…busyness…those reminders are a valuable treasure.

So, just a suggestion:  Set up a password or two to say something great about your relationship with your husband. You’ll appreciate the loving reminders!

LAURA AND MATT FOREVER XOXOXO

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