Heavenly Homemakers

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Toys for Boys? Are Guns Okay? Podcast #9

March 11, 2011 by Laura 42 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Ah, one of my favorite subjects. Through the years, we’ve been asked many times what we feel are the best toys for boys. Do we allow our boys to play with guns? As Christians, do we feel like this is okay? What about transformers? Swords? Is all that violence good for them?

These are the questions I address in this latest podcast. 

One thing I forgot to mention (probably because I was all wrapped up in talking about how many light sabers we have):  LEGOS! I was addressing other questions, so Legos just didn’t come up. But of all the favorite toys we have in our house…we just LOVE our Legos. They are well worth the investment and make wonderful gifts for our boys. 

But back to the guns and swords (which of course Legos can easily be built to resemble)…

Heavenly Homemakers Podcast Nine

Share your thoughts! Do you have boys? What do you let them play with?

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But That Doesn’t Work for Me

March 6, 2011 by Laura 66 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

menuplanner2web

Here’s part of one reader’s comment after reading one of my menu plans: 

I don’t menu plan, because it seems to actually impair my ability to cook. :) Whenever I have done it over the course of our 10 years of marriage I have actually cooked less and become a big disgruntled, grumpy wife. I get discouraged that this is something that helps so many, so I wonder what is wrong with me. but–then my hubby just comes in and says, ‘just don’t make a list’. Brilliant man, that husband of mine!

You know I can’t live without my menu plan. (Well, I can live…we just don’t eat very well without my menu plan.)  And the above commenter doesn’t feed her family as well with a menu plan. I’m so glad she was honest in her comment.

Guess what? Not everything that works for one person will work for everyone else. And WE DON’T NEED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

God made us all different.  On purpose. He is very wise like that.

I LOVE this blogging world we are all a part of and I think it’s such a wonderful way to help each other and encourage each other and share the things we know with each other. But you all are a lot better than I am at all kinds of things. If I let myself, I could become discouraged about all the things I read about that you’re doing that I’m not doing.

For instance:

  1. I haven’t made scrapbooks for my kids. I’ve barely written in their baby books.
  2. Spelling is not my strong soot. Suite. Suit. Whatever.  Spelling duzn’t come naturally to me. I use spell check a lot and even then I stil mes up.
  3. I am very directionally challenged. I will never know where “west” is, so don’t ask me to point to it.
  4. I can’t get my bathrooms to smell good for longer than five minutes. (It’s a boy thing.)
  5. I am terrible about hanging my clothes up at the end of the day.
  6. I haven’t pulled out my sewing machine to make anything (or repair anything) for months. Who am I kidding?  Years.
  7. There are crumbs surrounding my computer. 
  8. I hate reading directions and fine print.
  9. I seem to have some sort of phobia about learning a foreign language and have never made it past Pig Latin.
  10. Driving a stick shift vehicle makes me break out in hives. Simply typing the words “stick shift vehicle” makes me break out in hives. And I also hate driving in big cities. In any vehicle.

I could keep going with that list, but you need to get on with your day.

My point is this:  If menu planning…or anything else someone encourages you to do doesn’t work for you…that’s okay. :)

I think it’s great to learn from each other. But if you finish reading a blog post or visiting with someone and are left thinking,  “Oh dear…I am so much less of a woman because I failed to alphabetize and color code the dry beans in my pantry…but when am I supposed to find time for that because I really need to sit down with my two year old and teach him to fluently write and speak German by 2:00 this afternoon…” then maybe you should give yourself a little break. 

Ask yourself the following questions that apply to you…

  • Am I being lazy or am I being a hard worker?
  • Am I doing what God wants me to be doing?
  • Am I doing what my husband wants me to be doing?
  • Am I taking care of my children the way I should be taking care of them?

Use your God given gifts and let other people use theirs. Take care of your family the way you feel God is calling you to take care of your family. Read and learn and be challenged by what people write and share…but only do what works for you and what you feel God wants for you. God calls you to be you…and that’s it!

Care to share? I’d love to hear something you’re really good at…and something you’d rather leave to someone else!! Like maybe I could come plan your menu  for you and you could drive me around in big cities?

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Chatting With Lisa Whelchel (about raising teenagers)

July 17, 2010 by Laura 4 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Yesterday I shared what Lisa Whelchel had to say about raising little ones. Her kids are all grown up now (her youngest just graduated), and because I really wanted to know for my own sake (and for yours too of course), I decided to ask her about raising teens.

Me:

Our oldest son just became a teenager. We’re enjoying this “new season of life” as we learn to raise a teen and also feel like we have no idea what we’re doing (much like we didn’t have any idea what we were doing when we started raising babies!). You had three teenagers all at once. What were some of the joys and challenges you faced as you raised your teens, and what advice might you give to parents on this journey?

Lisa:

As your kids become teenagers, you really have to start loosening the grip you have…you can’t control them like you did with they were seven and eight years old. It’s natural for them to try to separate themselves from you and experiment with life as they figure out who they are. 

This is hard because as a parent, you see the bigger picture and you want to protect them from heartache. But over-protecting can stifle what they are learning. You need to be open handed. You need to tell yourself, “I have been the parent, I have taught them well. Now I need to trust God to let them use what I’ve taught them as they grow into adulthood.”

Me: 

Tell me a little bit about your kids now that they are young adults. What are some of the great qualities you see in them – what do you love about your kids? 

Lisa:

I’ll start with my youngest, Clancy. I really just enjoy talking to her. We love to have coffee together in the mornings and just talk. She’s just wonderful and I just enjoy her so much.

Haven is my older daughter. I admire her so much. She is amazing at seeing the big picture. She plans margins in her life, which shows wisdom beyond her years. 

Tucker was the hardest to raise, yet he’s who I’ve learned the most from and I respect him so much. He’s honest about everything and not a pretender. I had a hard time with that as he was growing up because that could sometimes come across in him as “not being a good boy”. I’m glad I didn’t snuff that out of him. He’s creative…not a rule follower.

I love how although I am the parent, I am able to learn so much from my kids.

Laura’s (very few) follow-up thoughts (as I have only been the parent of a teenager for approximately 39 days):

I am really beginning to understand the idea of “loosening the grip” as I’m watching Asa naturally work his way toward more independence. Matt and I feel like our biggest job now is to walk alongside and guide him as he grows into adulthood. 

That, and pray for God to guide us as we walk a path we’ve never walked before. ;)

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