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Quick to Listen

October 14, 2011 by Laura 6 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

~Appreciate Your Spouse~Buoyancy in Marriage~Consult Your Partner~
~Dream Together Part One ~Dream Together Part Two~Empower Your Spouse~
~Have Fun With Your Spouse~Give to One Another~Honor Each Other~
~Be Intentional~Jubilee~Kingdom Focused~Listen~
~Mentor Relationships~Nourish~Own It~Pray With Each Other~

Quick to Listen

A Family Motto – Matt’s Thoughts

Most interactions in any relationship can benefit from the maxims, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). Boy, do these ever benefit a marriage relationship. I’ve tried being slow to listen and experienced the results there. I either needed to sheepishly ask Laura what she said because I wasn’t listening or worse yet, I tried to guess what she said and go with that. Your guess to where that has ended up is much more accurate than my guess was at what I didn’t listen to.

I’ve also practiced being quick to speak and found my foot in my mouth. The taste of the sole of my shoe is all too familiar.

And yes, I’ve been quick to anger. That dirty Kleenex that missed the trash can means that I’ll have to pick it up when I take out the trash!!! I’m incensed!!! (That’s me throwing a terrible two’s tantrum.)

We posted about listening and looking into each other’s eyes for our “L” marriage tip, and we wanted to add more to it. James 1:19 is one of our family mottos. We try to repeat it often because we need to remind ourselves often and train ourselves. As a soccer coach I know there are fundamentals of the game that must be practiced very often in order to improve our game/skills. Likewise, in life, we feel that these are a few of the fundamentals in relationship development. Practicing these in our family will prepare our sons to be skilled when interacting with others and if they do marry someday, then these can improve the health of their marriage.

Hurry Up and Wait – Laura’s Thoughts

I’m trying to understand what it looks like to be “quick to listen”. Usually, I’m quick to jump to conclusions, quick to spat out something off the top of my head without giving it much thought, quick to make a judgment on someone before I know the whole story. None of these practices are healthy in any relationship, but they can be particularly harmful in a marriage relationship.

So what does it look like to instead be “quick to listen”? Could it be that I simply learn to simply be still? To be calm and wait? To listen with my heart to the needs of my beloved?

I try to be quick about every aspect of my life. I find I can get a lot done in a day by being quick about my work. But I think if I were to be quick to stop, be quick to be still, and be quick to listen to what God would have me to do, I may accomplish more for Him than my “quick” efforts ever could. I think I could go from a frantic mode to one of calm and peace.

And it’s likely that if I’m quick to walk to the trash can with my dirty Kleenexes instead of trying to throw them across the room in hopes that one out of ten might actually make it to the destination, I will save my dear husband and myself much time and frustration. I’m working on that one. ;)

Ladies, we know you’re reading here more often than the guys. ;)  We’d love husbands to read this article as well. If you feel so inclined please send the link to your husbands, or if it’s easier, we’ve created a downloadable article for you to quickly print off and share. Healthy Marriage A to Z – Quick to Listen

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Pray WITH Each Other

October 7, 2011 by Laura 18 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

~Appreciate Your Spouse~Buoyancy in Marriage~Consult Your Partner~
~Dream Together Part One ~Dream Together Part Two~Empower Your Spouse~
~Have Fun With Your Spouse~Give to One Another~Honor Each Other~
~Be Intentional~Jubilee~Kingdom Focused~Listen~Mentor Relationships~Nourish~Own It~

Pray With Each Other

Innermost– Matt’s Thoughts

Praying together is ultimate intimacy. The origin of the word intimate comes from the Latin intimus meaning “innermost.” So this isn’t, “Thank you God for this wonderful day, and our many wonderful blessings. Help [insert name here] get better. In Jesus name, Amen.” I’m talking really pouring it all out to God allowing your dearest to hear your heart and hearing your dearest pour it all out to God. You are being intimate with both your creator and your lover. That’s what I mean by ultimate intimacy. Healthy marriages contain spouses laying bare together physically and spiritually. Yes, you make yourself extremely vulnerable in these intimate moments. Isn’t it great? Thank you God, that we don’t have to keep all of life’s struggles and joys packed inside. How great it is to share and bare your heart to the Lord with the one you’ve united yourself in marriage to.

While your innermost feelings flow out to the Lord, you are also hearing from the heart of your spouse and being heard. These connections to our Creator and our life-long marriage partner are vital. Sometimes, due to our busyness of life, different perspectives, or just plain oversight, we are unaware of a load that is weighing down our spouse. I have found that I am able to “check Laura’s pulse” by praying with her. How is she doing? How can I encourage her? What specifically is burdening her?

Why don’t I pray with her more? It is so beneficial for us. The excuses of time, exhaustion, fear of being heard, selfishly not really wanting to hear her, or whatever else I use in my head just disallow me from stronger unity with my Creator and my Companion. We all desire this ultimate intimacy.

Start Today – Laura’s Thoughts

If you’re not used to praying out loud with your spouse, this may possibly sound a little bit stressful to you. Oh, but can I urge you to work toward it anyway? It is beautiful to experience, these moments with you, your spouse and God.

If you, as a couple, are not already in the practice of praying together, one of you must take the lead to make this happen. Men – I strongly encourage you to be the one. Offer this gift to your wife.

And Gals – encourage this leadership in your husband. Open your heart up to God in front of your man. You can do this.

When you pray as a couple, your marriage bond can strengthen in ways it simply can not strengthen otherwise. Prayer is powerful and effective.

Do you and your spouse pray together? If not, what do you feel is holding you back?

Ladies, we know you’re reading here more often than the guys. ;)  We’d love husbands to read this article as well. If you feel so inclined please send the link to your husbands, or if it’s easier, we’ve created a downloadable article for you to quickly print off and share. Healthy Marriage Tips A to Z – Pray

 

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Reaching Out to Others…Where to Start

August 10, 2010 by Laura 3 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Several of you have mentioned to me that you love the idea of using Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve with your children…but the idea of reaching out and doing that many acts of service for people is a bit out of your comfort zone. Or, what if you’re new to the area and don’t really know a lot of people? You’ve asked for advice, so I’ve been brainstorming some ideas to make it (hopefully) a little easier for you and your family to cook “Soup for someone who is Sick” on Ss week, or take a new “Book to B________” on Bb week. 

learnyourletters

The following ideas are simply offered as a way to get you going. To help ease you out of your fears. To gently get you and your family used to visiting others and putting smiles on their faces! 

  • Utilize extended family members, even if it means you have to send something through the mail. Family (hopefully) will feel safe to you and will be an easy beginning to getting your family in the mode of making something to give to someone. Plus, I’m pretty sure if your child sends something homemade to a grandparent or aunt…the appreciation and feedback they’ll receive will be pretty huge. Family members LOVE your kids an awful lot. :)
  • Pull out your church directory if you have one. Looking through the directory together may help give you new ideas of people you could serve.
  • Do some of the acts of kindness anonymously. Don’t rely on this one too much, because you will receive such a wonderful blessing when you deliver something to someone and are able to see the smile on their face. But there is something to be said about the gift of surprising someone by leaving it on their porch for them to find when they come home. (I will caution you though that if someone left a homemade goody on my porch and didn’t tell me who it was from…I may not want to eat it. I’m just sayin’. You might want to reserve the anonymous act of service to be something more inedible.)
  • Visit a local rest home to carry out some of your service. Sometimes it’s easier to visit with a complete stranger, knowing that your visit will make their day, than to visit with someone who is, say an acquaintance from church. 
  • Pick some of your children’s good friends. It’s awesome to reach out to people you don’t know as well…and to people in other generations…but WOW it’s fun to knock on your best buddy’s door to deliver a Jar of Jelly beans on Jj week! 
  • Make it a team effort. Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve is meant to be a project for the whole family anyway. Piling in the car all together and visiting your recipient all together is so much easier than going alone with just one child. 
  • Ah, who am I kidding? Your kids are so cute, the person you’re serving will ooh and ahhh over your child and the fact that he/she came to do something kind…and that in and of itself with be a huge buffer in your comfort level. Seriously, if you’re worried about what you’ll talk about when you’re visiting someone…just visit about your project and other things your kids are doing. People love that.
  • On the other hand…be sure to ask the other person questions…especially if they are sick or have been going through any kind of struggle.
  • Don’t feel like you have to stay and visit with someone for three hours. Have your child hand over the goodies (whatever they are that week!), explain your project and maybe tell why your family chose them and then if the timing seems right, you can then be on your way.

Just think of the blessing you are giving your child! By starting them on the journey of service now, as they get older…thinking of others and serving them will become a natural part of who they are.

And I promise (because I speak from experience!) the more you serve with your children…the easier it will be for you too! God does amazing things when he “stretches us” beyond our comfort level a little bit. You know what you alone are capable of, right? So when you do something for someone that pushes you past your comfort zone, you KNOW that you’re doing it only because of the awesome power of God. It’s an incredible feeling.

God is so good. You can do this!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Becoming a Better Help Meet: Pray for Your Husband (+ a Giveaway!!)

March 7, 2010 by Laura 152 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

helpmeet
Be sure to catch up on the rest of this series here.

Last time, we talked about working hard to make sure our relationship with God is strong and alive so that we can be readily equipped to meet the needs of our husband.

Today, let’s talk about praying for our husbands.

Besides making sure your relationship with God is what it should be, praying for your husband is one of the most important things you can do as his help meet. You may not be able to change anything about your husband. You may not be able to help your husband be successful at his work. You may not be able to make your husband become a stronger spiritual leader.

But God can.

God loves your husband more than you do. God wants your husband to be spiritually minded. God wants your husband to love Him and serve Him. God wants your husband to meet your needs and the needs of your family.

You can talk to your husband about these desires. You can hurt for your husband when he struggles. You can encourage your husband to do more of the things you want him to do. You can beg your husband to become more of the man you want him to be.

But most of the time, you just need to shut-up and pray.

Love your husband. Respect your husband. Take care of your husband’s physical needs. Listen to your husband. Be kind to your husband. 

And pray for your husband.

Pray for his role as a father. Pray for his role as your husband. Pray for his work. Pray for his other relationships. Pray for his struggles. Pray for his weaknesses. Pray for his strengths. Pray for his spiritual growth. 

The prayer of a righteous [wo]man is powerful and effective.  (Read James 5:13-18.)
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Going right along with this idea of praying for our husbands…Taraleigh of FBS Books (take note of her sponsorship button on my sidebar) is offering to give away one of the books from her shop, Prayers of an Excellent Wife. 

prayers_of_an_excellent_wife

Prayers of an Excellent Wife appears to be a fantastic resource to help us learn the art of praying for our husbands consistently, faithfully and according to scripture.

I’d like to encourage you to take a good look around FBS Books as it is filled with wonderful resources!! Thank you so much Taraleigh for offering to share Prayers of an Excellent Wife with one of my readers! This book is sure to be a blessing!
———————————————–

For a chance to win a copy of Prayers of an Excellent Wife:

  1. Leave a comment here on this post letting us know something you pray for your husband about (or would like to begin praying for him about).
  2. For a second chance at winning a copy of this book, join me in becoming a facebook fan of FBS books! This will be a great way to keep up to date with their sales and new products! Once you become a fan, be sure to leave a second comment here letting me know!

Everyone sign up to win this book…then get on your knees for your husband. Your marriage will be blessed as a result! Thank God for the chance to lift our needs up to Him!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

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