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How to Love People (My New Year Goal)

December 28, 2022 by Laura 6 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

I’m writing this post on how to love people because God keeps having to teach me how to love people.

I guess I might be writing this for myself. I need this. Loving people can be hard.

Like, actually loving them. Not just being nice to them. Not just showing kindness. But actually loving them.

I’m not proud of what I am about to share. I’m weeping over it actually. There are some people in our lives that are very hard to love. I’ve never felt this way before.

THESE are MY people, and they are the easiest to love. I don’t have to try to love them and in fact, my love for them is so great that sometimes I can’t even breathe. As God has grown our family, my ability to love has grown. It’s remarkable to experience.

Meanwhile, our little ones come with some baggage. Their baggage becomes mine and I sometimes find myself dealing with texts or communication with people that make me want to scream, ” I JUST WANT TO LOVE AND RAISE THESE KIDS!!! I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE REST OF IT! I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!”

But in fact, I did sign up for this when I said yes to God’s yes. So now I have to figure out how to live and love like Jesus through it.

Am I just a mama bear?

A friend of mine (after I puked my feelings on her for the many-eth time) recently kindly and wisely defended my feelings. “Your mama bear instincts want to protect your babies. There’s nothing wrong with that.” And she’s right. I will always and forever do everything I can for the good of our children, protecting them and seeking what is best for them under harder-than-normal circumstances.

But the truth is that while many of my feelings are normal and understandable, I also have to choose how to use my time and energy when I encounter a challenge with an outside source. How can I do this?

How to love people?

Yes, how to actually love them.

Matt, who is calm and wise and always my sounding board, offered some insights recently and I’ve been praying over them ever since. When I face a challenge that I have no choice but to deal with, I can either:

  • shrink and become soft
  • bristle and become hard
  • or I can choose to let the Holy Spirit do its work in me to truly hear and respond in love

I’m not actually ever responding to anyone with angry words. The problem is inside my head and heart.

My energy and time cannot be taken up by swirling angry and frustrated thoughts. I cannot allow myself to choose ugliness or to let ridiculous inside-my-head conversations full of everything I shoulda-coulda-woulda said to overrule my thoughts.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

This passage tells me to:

  1. Take my thoughts captive.
  2. Make them obey Christ.

All day long.

A boundary around my heart

Someone else’s words should never set my head on fire. Yet I’ve been surprised at how easily angered I can become.

I have to set boundaries in certain relationships, and I have done this. But the biggest boundary is to be put around my own heart. I’m prayerfully working right now to put a Holy Spirit Filter around my heart and head so that when I read a text or have a conversation that frustrates me or makes me hurt, I can still be at peace.

How? By choosing to hear every word through a filter of love.

By recognizing that my God is already at work in each situation. By accepting that He fully loves me and He fully loves the hard people in my life. Because of this, I can love them too. But only with the help of the Holy Spirit.

So I’ve stopped trying so hard

I can’t do it. I can’t love better or be better or do better. It’s all too hard.

But the Holy Spirit can love wholly and freely, and He lives and works in and through me. I am refusing to take on anything that isn’t mine. This includes conflict and any challenge that someone might want to direct at me. In all circumstances, Matt and I will prayerfully work to do what is best for each of our kids. When we come under attack, we will allow the Spirit to give us a loving response. First in our own hearts, then naturally to others.

This brings incredible peace. It also allows love to flow freely, which beautifully takes the place of anger and hurt.

It’s almost a new year

If you’re hoping to do better or be better in 2023, this is great. But I pray that your focus has to do with that which is Spiritual. Nothing else actually matters and everything else, physical and otherwise, will fall into place if we are seeking to let the Holy Spirit be our complete guide and rescue.

My most necessary goal:

To hear every word through a filter of love.

This is my goal, with the help of the Father who sent a comforter to dwell in my heart. This changes everything about how I use my mental and emotional energy, which changes everything about how I walk through my days and love my people.

Dearest Father, help us when we cannot help ourselves. We need you. We can’t do this without you. Be our God. We praise you and seek you for rescue. In Jesus’ name.

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A Lesson in Trusting God ~ And a Chance to Win Noah’s Ark Veggie Tales DVD

February 26, 2015 by Laura 159 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

We grown-ups. We’re good at complicating uncomplicated truths. We don’t do this on purpose. Our brains and schedules just get full and the reality of life sometimes shuts down our ability to think simply.

This is why I like children’s books and movies. Phooey, this is why I like children.

It never fails. Any time I need to explain a Biblical truth at a level kids can understand – the easy words with their basic meaning prick me to the core with a simplicity that is remarkably profound. God’s truth isn’t complicated, friends. It’s the believing and taking Truth to heart – that’s where I tend to stumble in my frailty.

So heart check:  Our oldest son is a senior in high school, making weighty decisions and preparing to launch into the next big thing. Never before have I faced the need to trust God with my children at such a level. Regrets and what-ifs threaten to suffocate me when I forget that my God is faithfully and lovingly in control. Overwhelming, precious peace takes over when I realize that confident trust in God is the only gift I have to offer my children. Not one time has the Father failed to keep His promises. Trust is the only option. I will choose this. I must choose this.

The Only Gift

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It’s interesting what comes to light when your heart is searching. As I take time to read the Word each morning a theme of “trust” continues to shine through the pages. Jesus isn’t waiting for me to line up my ducks in a perfectly ordered row before kneeling at the cross. He just wants me to take a knee. God doesn’t ask me to present the answers to all the tough questions. He just wants me to seek. The Spirit doesn’t wait for me to understand all that is to come. He simply whispers, “Trust me. I’ll show you.”

And so I do. And then I forget. And then I remember. And sometimes I cry. But always, He’s right. And always – peace wins.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

That was a word from me, and then a word from the Word, and now a word from Bob and Larry.

What? I couldn’t think of a good transition.

There’s a new Veggie Tale in town, and we get to be the first to know about it. I found it fun that as I’ve been seeking to understand full trust in God, Veggie Tales were working on a show to explain the profoundly simple concept to children. When I saw the title Noah’s Ark: A Lesson in Trusting God I laughed and said, “A lesson in trusting God? Well of course it is. It’s perfect.”

noahs ark veggie tales

This movie is darling. The creators did a great job sharing the story of Noah from a Biblical perspective, with a little bit of veggie silliness thrown in for good measure. Malachi said to be sure and “tell all your blog people that it is an amazing video!” So there you have it. The ten year old has spoken.

Noah’s Ark: A Lesson in Trusting God can be ordered at Amazon now and shipped to you next week. It’s a great one to have in your collection, and you can pre-order for just $9.96.

I happen to have a copy here to give to one of you – so leave a comment for a chance to win. I’ll draw a random winner on Tuesday, March 3. Be watching for a post stating the winner as you will be responsible for contacting me if your name is chosen.

This post contains affiliate links.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Gratituesday: One Thing at a Time

October 27, 2014 by Laura 14 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

gratituesday[2]

I woke up this morning with a huge to-do list. What’s new, right? Right. Today was a little different though. On Saturday, we made a decision to use a tiny window of time we have this week to go on a college visit for Asa, our high school senior. Seeing as we ended soccer season yesterday and basketball season begins next week – this week is pretty much our only option. :)

So, we’re squeezing in the trip and making lots of last minute plans. If only it was as simple as packing a bag and gassing up the van. Nope. Our Azure Standard food co-op order will be coming in while we’re gone, so I needed to make arrangements for someone else to pick it up. What about our Tuesday farm-fresh milk pick-up? Justus desperately needed a hair cut. I had to update Asa’s high school transcript to take with us. I have an article due for our local newspaper. We needed to follow up with family members for sleeping arrangements while we’re traveling. What about making/packing food for the road? Writing and scheduling posts to go up while I’m away from the computer? Switching piano lesson day and time for Malachi? The list went on forever, and it needed to be completed by tonight.

My brain kicked into high gear the moment my feet hit the floor this morning. This means that I could have gone from peaceful sleep to freak-out mode in a matter of two minutes, especially when I walked into the kitchen and saw the undone dishes from yesterday (blech). Thankfully, after years of going about life the hard way, God is teaching me to do better. Never, ever does it work for me to fly into becoming a crazy mom/wife/blogger/friend/organizer/homemaker. That’s when I say hurtful words to my husband and kids, leaving God completely out of my day. So I did what I know to do now: I told my brain to hush.

My brain put up a bit of a fight, but prayer, my Bible, and a cup (okay fine, 2 cups) of coffee (with cream) won the battle. We got the boys started on their school work and kitchen clean-up, then started tackling all the phone calls and work that needed to be done. One thing at a time, tasks were checked off the to-do list.

By lunchtime, I was amazed at how much had come together even if (don’t tell) I still hadn’t made it back upstairs to get out of my pajamas yet. My work-from-home, school-from-home life is glamorous, no doubt.

I decided to make One-Hour Whole Wheat Yeast Rolls for travel sandwiches (easiest rolls ever!). Didn’t they turn out pretty?

one hour rolls for trip

I’m grateful for how details of our week came together. We’ll now be one more step closer to helping Asa find out God’s plan for him next year. And I didn’t even have to freak out to make it happen. God’s way is best – every single time.

What are you thankful for this Gratituesday? Leave a comment to share!

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