Here’s a topic that I feel very strongly about. Very.
There are people all over the place within your church walls on a Sunday morning (or any other time you meet together) that need something. They might need encouragement. A hug. A smile. An acknowledgement. A prayer. A conversation.
Someone to just notice them. Someone to say hello to them. Someone to help them find their way to a Bible class. Someone to sit with. Someone to hold their baby for them. Someone who needs to hold your baby for you.
Someone who needs to cry with somebody. To pray with somebody.
I don’t care how shy you are or how much of an introvert you are. I. Don’t. Care.
The people who need you don’t care…if you’re shy…they just need you.
Challenge yourself, practice and learn. Pray for courage and strength. Let God be strong for you when you are weak.
Look around you and notice who needs you. Pray for God to show you who needs you. Then, GO. Just go. You can do it.
Don’t leave it up to your ministers or elders. Don’t leave it up to the “greeting committee”. That’s hogwash. <wow, laura. why don’t you tell us how you really feel?>
It takes an entire church body to meet the needs of the people God loves.
Break away from your comfort zone of friends (the ones who are easy to talk to and hang out with). You can call them and get together with them later. (For that matter…take your friends with you and reach out together.)
Focus instead on the people who may not come back again unless they receive a warm welcome. The people who may be lonely. The people who are hurting. The people who God puts on your heart if/when you are listening.
Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s not. But it does take practice. And hard work. And sometimes you will be worn out from the effort. Ah, but it’s a good tired. And I promise you that the more you do it, the easier it will be for you.
Can I challenge you to work on this one if it is a hard task for you? I really, really think it’s important. Showing God’s love to newcomers is important. Listening to someone who is hurting is important. Letting God use you as a part of his body is important.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Guess what? When you move beyond the fear and shyness (or just plain ol’ indifference) that is holding you back and let God’s power work through your weakness…you will be amazed at what you can do. God’s power is made perfect in your weakness.
And in mine. He’s proved that to me over and over.
I LOVE it when God proves his power.
Do you consider yourself to be introverted or extroverted? Is going up to newcomers at church hard for you? Do you feel like it’s easier to hang around your closer friends than to step out and visit with others? Or, does this idea come naturally to you? In what ways can you improve when it comes to reaching out to others when you’re at church?
Megan says
Thank you so much for this Laura. I definitely needed to hear it. It’s so easy, especially when you are new to a church to only think about whether or not the church is meeting *your* needs instead of focusing on serving the people around you. Thanks again!
Char @ DigiScrapChat says
Another awesome post, Laura.
Encouraging someone in pain, or greeting visitors at church used to be one of the hardest things for me. Quite frankly, I have never been any good at ANY kind of “chatter” at church, even when I’m with the best of friends. (And yes, even when I lived in York, and I’d see YOU at church)! It has often felt weird and different and somewhat phony and the nature of “small talk” just bugged me. Left me feeling like “ugh”. I’m sure that’s the introvert in me.
It’s STILL hard for me, but I’m here to attest to your post about how it DOES get easier, and if we let God lead us, we can do it!
We have very few couples in our congregation that are our age, and we are desperate for more. With Allan’s encouragement, I’ve actually gotten to the point where I POUNCE on newcomers and am even disappointed if I don’t get a chance to greet someone new. I’ll admit that it has NOT been easy. Allan has literally had to PUSH me towards people, especially when there have been single women come through the door (much better for ME to introduce myself first, and let him follow if it’s a single gal). He still has to push me a bit sometimes. But, I no longer shy away from it like I used to, and I’m the first (or second) in line to give someone a hug if they’ve asked for prayers.
I’m not sharing this to say, “I’m all THAT”, because oh, I am NOT. It is all because of God’s prompting and my husband’s prompting. The only thing I’ve done is TRY.
Ok, I’ll hush now… great, great, great post!
Deena says
Thank you so much for posting this….. It just fits so much of what God has been leading me to do lately, not just greet newcomers, but as my husband and myself have gotten older the more less we *need* other people around us and it is so easy to just become somewhat reclusive…. We called it laid back, but God has been leading me to get out of my comfort zone and remember it’s just not about what we *need*, but someone may *need* us. Now imagine that, someone needing relaxed (overly) people like us, who knew? lol
This post was really what I needed. Thank you for following God’s leading on posting this. VERY INSIGHTFUL!
Blessings,
Deena
Kari says
My mom always taught us to greet the people around us when we would visit another congregation while away from home. She said, “You never know if they might be visiting too and wondering why you’re not greeting them.” And in fact, it happened a couple times that we would meet other visitors.
At my church, there are a lot of people. I might have gone to church with someone for a couple years and not have met them yet so whenever I say hi to knew people, I was always concerned about getting it wrong whether they were new or not. Finally came up with a good way to do it. I usually something like, “Now, have you been coming here a long time and we’re just now meeting or are you visiting.” I’m sure I’m still leaving out some possibility but it definitely beats welcoming someone as a “visitor” who has been a member for years!
Catherine says
This is something I try to do as well, but it is hard for me (especially when one of my little ones has ranged out of sight – hard to listen to the other person when you’re wondering if you should check that your husband is watching that the 2 year old is not running into the car park!) But I am sure that as my children grow older, and as I grow more comfortable walking up to strangers, I will get better at it.
Step says
Great reminder! I’m an introvert by nature, always have been. It is very hard for me to go up to people and greet them, but when I get to know someone, I’ll talk their ears off — lol! That said, I do make it a point to say good morning to at least one person I don’t know well at church and other places as well. Doing this not only welcomes another person, but helps me overcome my shyness.
This post is timely, too, because we are currently visiting other churches in search of a new one. It is very hard starting over, getting to know people, feeling comfortable. If I don’t get the feeling of being warmly greeted, that church is crossed off my list and we don’t return for subsequent visits. Perhaps not entirely fair, but we have to have some starting point.
Jen says
Great post! So many times in life, including church, we get comfortable. Once that happens it is very difficult to get out of. One Sunday our Pastor announced that everyone had to get up and sit in a different spot. But not only that he said we could not sit next to someone we had sat by before. It was a great exercise to get us out of our comfort zones. Thank you so much for this reminder. I am going to make it a point to welcome new people at church or even talk to someone I do not know yet!
Amy says
Wow, how awesome! I sat down @ my computer with my coffee before going to my Women’s group this morning and read this. God has really been dealing with me about this lately. I am so introverted. I have been doing better though. But after reading this it just helped bring it back to my mind how IMPORTANT it is to be extroverted especially when it comes to the Kingdom of God! Your right if we ask He will put people in our paths to love on & minister to.
Tracey - Girls to Grow says
What a great reminder for me. I do sometimes get comfortable sitting in the same spot, talking to the same friends and failing to make the extra effort it takes to reach out to others. I hope to be more cognizant of those who are in need and seek to meet that need, whatever it may be.
Alexis Green says
Thank you so much for this! I started going to church for the first time a bit over a year ago. I had tried out several churches, looking for a fit. Finally I found one–partly because the congregation was so warm, friendly, and reached out to me. I try every week to do what they do–share the peace with friends, neighbors, and someone new.
soonermomof7 says
This post is truly inspired, Laura. I’m a doer (a choleric temperament), but will spend my lifetime working on softening my approach to people. We MUST share the light of Christ with those around us…in any way we are called to do it. The best way is eye to eye, caring heart to broken heart, one on one. Our lives are made of moments…live them well….we live and move “in” Christ. Let us bring His love to our hurting world. Pray and do what He tells you. Stay connected to the vine, who is Christ.
Amanda says
I come at it from a different angle as I currently do not belong to a church. And one reason I don’t is that I am afraid to go to a new church by myself because I will not know anybody.
If I was greeted with smiles and a few friendly hellos, I wouldn’t be so nervous about going and trying out new churches. I would really like to find a church that I can feel part of, but have not been able to find one yet and have had some bad experiences trying out churches.
I know that someday I will walk into the right church, people will greet me and invite me to sit with them and have coffee during fellowship time and I will have found my place of worship. I just pray it happens sooner than later.
Roberta Anne says
Very timely message for me as I have been working on this. I am trying so hard to learn to remember names and to take the initiative. Thanks for the reminder.
Roberta Anne
Sharon says
Amen and Amen!
Jessie says
this is a great post and something a lot of church members need to hear (myself included). we forget what it’s like to be a visitor too quickly – or even one that is just out on an edge and needing someone to reach out and pull them back in. interesting that you chose to write about this at this particular time…I am on staff at a church and we were just discussing, in our weekly meeting on Tuesday, that a guest that came to our worship services for the first time this week commented to our minister that they had been visiting lots of different churches over the past several months and our congregation was the very first one that had people go out of their way to even speak to them! what a sad commentary that is on christian churches – we should be the most friendly places they visit! it’s just another good lesson for me to be more welcoming and loving to those I have never met…not something that comes naturally for me, but definitely something I am called to do.
Andrea in Alaska says
I am so blessed to belong to a congregation that doesn’t know a stranger. People who come visit us in the summer, end up sending us Christmas cards for years! :) I know we always have room for growth, though. I especially am far too quick to ride the coattails of everyone elses’ friendliness and not reach out to people because others are. Also, a lot of people who have been around a while, are getting lost in the cracks, or who just don’t “mesh” well with others can be neglected for that new face.
Another thing I have to remind myself is that honest to goodness shyness can so easily be interpreted as aloofness or a stuck-up attitude, which is SO SAD! A big smile and being as sincere and real as possible seem to be pretty good remedies for that.
Now, I am just challenged to go do it!
Melissa Ringstaff says
I just wanted to same AMEN! I am a pastor’s wife now… but I used to be the young, VERY shy, lonely one in the congregation. Unfortunately, most of the time no one took the time to get to know me. And I desperately needed a friend. People often forget that just because they have friends that not everyone is so blessed. This is one of my passions now as God has worked miracles in my own life. Thank you for the article!
Michele says
WOW! I know this is late but I just found your site (and I love it btw!) I feel so strongly about what you wrote. 6 years ago when we found our church… that is what kept us there. The different “types” of people speaking to us and making us feel at home (even the first Sunday we visited!) We love our church for this reason. I in return speak to everyone! Although, growing up I’m told is the way I was anyhow! But thank the good Lord that I still am that way!!! Blessings!