“Hey there,” I say to my husband as I come into the room where he is mudding and sanding the drywall. “Now that is lookin’ good.”
“Thanks,” he says as he reaches down for more mud.
And then I say, “Oh, and those walls aren’t looking too bad either.”
Now that stops him mid-mud-smear. Obviously, I wasn’t talking about the walls the first time. {giggle} We share raised eyebrows and sly grins, as the kids run in and out, oblivious to what I just really said. That makes it even more fun.
Flirting with my guy is one of the most enjoyable parts of my day. I can’t help it. He’s fun to flirt with. It’s such a simple way to connect and to share smiles in the midst of hard work and crazy schedules. I love being his number one girl. I love being the one who puts the smile on his face. My flirting always makes him smile – especially when it takes him by surprise.
Once a marriage is well underway and perhaps kids join the mix, we can sometimes feel lost in all the paper work and bills and gymnastic classes and carpooling and grocery shopping and dirty diapers and broken dishwashers. Somehow, we may not even remember how to flirt because really it feels good enough just getting your hair brushed some days.
So don’t make this flirting thing complicated. Just do small things to keep your marriage fun and lively. Simply relax and enjoy your husband and the relationship God gave you.
A simple smile straight to him goes a long way.
Flirting isn’t always about sex. It rarely is, in my opinion. It’s really about connection. Sharing something special between just the two of you. Having those secret messages that float over the dinner table when neither of you can get a word in over the hubbub of one child banging his sippy cup on the highchair and another child sharing the most exciting part of her day with daddy (the part about how Curious George climbed a tree after a kitten and couldn’t get down and the fireman had to come and the Man with the Yellow Hat said…).
If you’re just being “work partners”, trying to get through each day without losing your heads…something needs to give. You and your husband are more than just work partners. You’re more than just friends. You’re more than teammates.
You’re lovers. Forever.
Enjoy being together. Smile. Bump into each other “accidentally”. Wink. Sneak a kiss. Email or text him something “sassy”.
Flirt.
It’s fun. :)
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What are your thoughts? Does flirting with your husband come naturally to you or is this something you try to improve upon?
My husband is in Afghanistan at the moment and we still flirt even on the phone. Boy do I miss him but I know that he is there taking care of our family and our country. He is the love of my life and I will never take that for granted. I can’t wait until June when he comes home and I get giddy school girl butterflies in my tummy again.
Thank you to your husband for his service. Thank you also for the sacrifices that you “both” make while he is away. God Bless you!
Thank you also for what you and your husband do for my family.
I know some of what you’re going thru so with all my heart, THANKYOU
AND GOD BLESS YOU!
Katie, please give your husband our best. I know how you feel…my husband was in Iraq 05-06. It was a challenging time but God protected our marriage and made it even better. Many blessings to your family!
I agree with the others! Thank you so much for what YOU and your husband does for our country! I have a friend right now whose husband is over there and it’s amazing to see the sacrifices they make for all of us to have our freedoms!
God bless your husband, you and your family. Thank you so much for lifting him up to the Lord and setting him free to serve!
Katie…I love your attitude. Awesome! About 2 months ago my hubby returned from a year in Iraq. I have many fond memories of our flirting via Skype. It helped strengthen our marriage despite the distance. June will be here before you know it. Enjoy your reunion!!!
Laura! I love this! My husband and I also flirt – all the time. Our kids are 14, 11 and 5. The 14 year old rolls her eyes and proclaims us “weird”. The 11 year old laughs at us – but I know it helps her feel secure in the strength of our marriage, at a time when many of her friends’ parents are divorcing. My 5 year old son is learning to flirt just like his daddy…because he is as in love with me as his daddy is! All in all, my kids are growing up in an extremely loving environment – and we are showing them a picture of what a healthy marriage looks like.
My Hubby & I have been married for 24 years, we have 2 grown children & 3 grandchildren. And YES we still flirt! Woo Hoo! ;) I’d say it was learned, but comes more natural now! :D
We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary, and we still love to flirt! Lots of flirting at home, but I love when we’re at church and he looks at me across the choir loft and winks!! It still melts my heart, and he doesn’t even have to say a word! =)
Great Post!!
I am not a very good flirt I have to admit, however I love to steal hugs. I try to steal one any chance I get!
I agree with above poster, that it also has the benefits of making the children feel secure.
He will hug me and say outloud, “I love this mama.” of course then, all the kids join in for a group huh….sheer bliss!
I admit that brought a tear. :) In a good way. For your children to feel so loved and secure is a great blessing.
What a great reminder- thanks Laura.
Laura, you wrote such terrific advice. Your example of admiring–then admiring the walls was a concrete idea which helps people relate to how they can institue flirting more without feeling they are doing something wrong. I think flirting needs to be a mainstay in marriage. Oh, we’ve been married for 40 years and we still flirt–now more than ever. Marriages need things like this to help carry through those times that aren’t the best. And, all marriages will have down times–it’s what you do to get through that’s important.
Great post Laura. We’ll soon be married 38 years and still love to flirt. I agree it makes the kids feel more secure to see the love their parents share and serves as a model for their relationships w/their spouse. I can still remember the way my parents flirted and thinking it was so neat when I was growing up. Tammy’s comment about the kids rolling their eyes made me laugh…our kids did the same thing!
Great message Laura! It reminds me of another reason I am SO HAPPY my little boy married a fine lady from Kansas.
We’re flirt-ers too! I love that sly smirk as we make eye contact when something has been said or a quick feel has been had. It makes life interesting!
So I guess we’re just “young-uns” since we’re coming up on our 7th anniversary, but oooooh, yeahhhh…we do like to flirt!
Haha miriam. We are creeping up on 5 years. We are definitely flirters! my husband eats it up! He loves it! Its so cute.
Great reminder – thank you!
I was glad for the reminder… I was a terrible flirt (tease) before I met my husband, and I saw how dangerous that was. When I met my husband he wasn’t really the flirtatious type. And Now I think I just turned that part off. I guess I need to turn that on!!!! Cause heck, now it wouldn’t be so dangerous!
My husband and I flirt all the time. My kids all chime in with EWWWWWW but when I ask them what they’d rather see, us flirting or fighting, of course they choose flirting. We also tell each other that we love each other ALL THE TIME. Seriously. Even if hubby is just going outside to get the newspaper or if I’m getting in the shower. My hope is that my girls grow up expecting the same out of their marriage relationship.
Thanks Laura for the reminder that talking about poop and antibiotics and diaper rashes and fits is not considered flirting. Seriously, I never was a good flirt and I continue to need to work on this area. I’m glad everyone else is flirtin’ up a storm though. By the way, your blog is my favorite.
Can you give more examples? Is there a book for flirting rejects?
Flirting come easy…when I think to do it. lol I love sending him text messages when he’s at work! :)
my husband and i most definitly take advantage of secret text messages sent while the other is at work as he works second shift and i work first shift.
My best friend & hubby have been married for almoast 20 years this July – & it still feels like yesterday!!! :) We have 9 wonderful blessings & Lord-willing – maybe more! We are adoptive parents to 6 of them! What’s our secret? HUMMMM….yes, we flirt, hug!!:) Yes, in front of the children – no, they do not know – all of the ‘signs’. But that’s ok! ;) We just make sure that we being appropriate, too! God made marriage a WONDERFUL GIFT – no harm in showing the children what the gift is – and what they have to look forward to after they are married!!!!! Thanks Laura for the topic!!! :)
You’re so cute! I just love this! It’s easy during the stressful times to lose sight to do this. So, thanks for the reminder!
Like someone said earlier, it most definately melts my heart when we are out and my husband sneaks a wink at me. If only men knew the power they had over us!
My husband is very phlegmatic so it has taken some years to figure out what kind of flirting he likes. I’m a words person so I’d be apt to say something like you did, but my husband almost becomes bashful! But look at him like I have a fun thought and it doesn’t take more than a minute to find him next to me… lol
I must say, one thing that helps, is to not have a complicated life if possible. Distractions kill a flirt before it gets started, and then it’ll feel more like you’re trying to flag down a race car. I suppose that goes for any subject though.
Agree!! When there are moments of affection between and husband and wife and your children are witness to that, it developes security in the family dynamic. We want our children to see us hug and kiss eachother, it is how God created us, in Genesis 1:18 it says that it is not good for man to be alone. The Bible is full of how a husband and wife should be intimate, have you read Song of Solomon lately, it could almost make you blush! Another great book for married couples is “Red-Hot Monogamy” by Bill and Pam Farrel. Thanks for sharing your flittering story, very cute!
Love those secret flirtations. It keeps the romance right there. I love to remind my husband that I don’t just see him as Dad, he is still my fella.
This brought a smile to my face. Flirting with my husband is the best. We text off and on through out the day. Most of the time it’s about what’s going on, but the ones I like the best are the ones that say I love you or I miss you. I love it even more when he flirts with me! Good reminder about the love we share and keeping it alive.
Thank you.
I loved this post today!! Being an Army couple, my husband and I enjoy every moment when we are together because we don’t know when or where he is going next. When he is home (as in the United States) he makes it a point to call or text me through out the day just to say “I Love You.” For economic reasons my husband takes his lunch just about everyday. I will put little notes in his lunch box. I usually slip them in when he isn’t looking. One day when I when I visited him at work I saw that he had a few of the notes posted at his desk. We have been together 11 years (married 8), but he still gives me butterflies sometimes. He is always doing things that makes me fall in love all over again. Thank you so much for this wonderful post. I will have a smile all day now thinking of my man!!
Yes, Yes!
Example: Whatcha wearing under your clothes?
That one always makes us goofy in a good sort of way.
I loved reading this today! My husband and I have been married for six years. We love to flirt. Like you said, it’s nice to know I’m him #1 girl! :)
Tomorrow is our 7 year anniversary (but we have been together for nearly 10 years), and yes we do flirt and joke around with each other. We always have our little inside jokes and goof off and flirt in some way or another throughout the week. Somedays more than others, but all in all, it keeps things interesting.
Erin
GymboCraze.weebly.com
My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We love to flirt, and I love the private jokes that we can share – sometimes just a raised eyebrow or a comment. The children look puzzled but happy since Dad and Mom are laughing together and enjoying each other’s company. :)
I love, love, love flirting with my husband! I thought it was just because we’re babies in the marriage department, coming up on three years. We like to text message each other throughout the day, as work allows. I’ve saved several fun ones, like when he wrote me with, “Wild thing, I think I love you, but I want to know for sure.” Good to know this can last and last and last…
My hubby & I text each other all day, too!! :) He, He!!! I just have to make sure that I catch my phone before the kiddos do…….”mommy, why is your phone always going off” ;) We have fun!!! Keep the smiles on our faces, too!
My husband and I will be married 12 years this August and some times we have to be creative when he is away on business as he is 6 or 12 hrs ahead. This means he’s sleepy!! We still chat, giggle, laugh, poke the ribs, and walk hand in hand whenever we can. We have been through a lot over the years but it has truly made our marriage stronger.
A great book that has really helped me understand God’s calling for me as my husband’s helper is “Created to be his helpmeet” by Debi Pearl. She is a great homeschooling mom and she also. Her book is filled with so much scripture and letters from women who have written in that have done it “right” and “wrong.”
We’ve been married 14 years and still flirting up a storm. I agree that I want my girls to have an example of godly marriage so they know what to look for when they’re dating. They’re at an age where they say “Ewww” and roll their eyes when we kiss, hug or flirt but then they smile really big and giggle because they know we love each other.
Recently, my husband found a box of old love letters from his mom to his dad the year before they were married. What a great thing to go through them and read their “flirting” and connection. Especially great for my husband as he was not born until my in-laws were much older (they’re both gone now) so by the time he was old enough to notice their flirting, they were in their late 60’s/early 70’s and not doing that so much any more. Children are always watching their parents–even when they’re older! :-)
It’s great to see so many happy flirts out there!
Can you share some ideas for those of us who need a some help in that area?
Thanks!
Send sassy text messages. leave a sweet sticky note on his office desk or in his car.lots of eye contact, and steal those hugs and kisses whenever u can!
Love this post!! I often refer to it as being my husband’s “girlfriend”…with the craziness of marriage, life and kids, it’s so easy to forget what we were like…what I was like when we were dating!!
I was just recently talking to a friend about how I forget to laugh at my husband’s jokes…to me, it’s just him “being him”…but I forget how much he thrives knowing that I appreciate and love his sense of humor…and who doesn’t love to laugh?!
I’m not sure that I know how to flirt. I’ve tried but it just seems to backfire. I do try to make him know how much I appreciate him as he does like that.
To all the ladies whose husbands serve this nation, this means you and your families do, too, and (like so many of the others who applaud and thank you) so do I. My first husband was military and I know the sacrifices it requires. My first husband died and I remarried. We are a “blended” family. And hubby and I flirt constantly. We’ll be married 18 years soon, have 4 adult kids and 5 grandkids (ages 7-14) and we still love to flirt and have fun with one another. Oh, how this guy can make me laugh and make me feel special. There is never a day that goes by that we don’t hug, kiss and tell each other “I love you.” He’s God’s blessing to me, indeed!
Signed a very much in love Mom and Grandma
Thanks for the reminder that we need to flirt with our hubby’s. I used to be a big flirt and through the years my flirting and sometimes fun side doesn’t show as often as it should. I want that giggly flirty blonde to show through more often then she does. Life is to short to always be so serious.
What a fun post! I have been married 33+ years and we still flirt, hold hands every chance we get, say I love you all the time, act silly (what would our grown children think?), and best of all don’t forget an 8 second kiss. A kiss doesn’t not count unless it is for at least 8 seconds…that is a long time but such a great example for children to observe mom and dad kiss for more than a peck. I’m so blessed to be in love and married to the man of my dreams…God IS GOOD!
Amen!!! LOL! I love it!!! :)
Oh my, we are definitely flirts. We’ve been married for 6 years, 7 this year :-) I still have butterflies as intense as I did when we were dating if not more so. We flirt all the time. I love reading about all these ladies that have been married 20+ years! Gives me great hope for the future :-)
It’ll go by fast before you know it ………it will be 20+ years!!!! We just turned around the other day & said WOW – look – Honey, we did it! How about 20+ more!!!:)
We’ve been married 32 years and flirt more than ever now that we are empty nesters and it is quite fun! Make sure hubby is not using his speaker phone when calling his office………..just sayin’
or the kids aren’t readin’ your text msgs…………(he he)! Love hearing that “what is daddy talking about……….” :)