Remember this series? The one about marriage that I started almost a year ago? Did ya think I forgot to finish it?
I promise I really didn’t forget…I just have so many topics I love writing about and somehow this series kinda got off track back in October.
And yikes…I promised that while writing a series on being a better help meet to our husbands that I would write about THAT subject. You know, that one important subject that is quite important to address when we talk about a healthy marriage? It’s not that I am afraid to talk about THAT, but wow, I’ve sure done a good job of avoiding the topic for almost a year, haven’t I?
I plan to pick this series back up in January and finish it off sometime before 2012. Hopefully. I even plan to talk about THAT. So stay tuned and in the meantime, I wanted to share all the links for the posts I’ve written on the subject up to now:
- Why Am I Writing This?
- Being a Help Meet…What Does it Mean?
- Let’s Get Real
- Make Him or Break Him
- The Most Important Thing
- Pray For Your Husband
- Expectations
- He Can’t Read Your Mind
- GET HELP!
- Lead Me – A Prayer for Your Marriage
- Remind Yourself
- Chatting with Lisa Whelchel about Marriage
- What My Husband Needs (I mean your husband…well you know what I mean)
- Living Out My Vows (In Sickness and in Health)
Any particular marriage topics you’re interested in me writing about? I mean, besides THAT?
Nora@ The Dollar Hollering Homemaker says
Hey Laura,
I am fairly newly married, about 18 months in but I can think of a few topics that would be helpful.
1. Dealing with difficult in-laws: we have different values/ priorities then our in laws who are non believers which tends to cause conflict. I try to support my husband and take the high road when it comes to disagreements but I think the sometimes in-laws can really contribute to a lot of stress in a marriage.
2. More advice on communication…
3. Also maybe some specific advice for supporting your husband during specific situations; parent illness/passing, job loss, etc
Nora
Danielle B says
I can answer # 3 in regards to parent illness and loss. Being there for your husband, listening, praying for him. And take messages when people call. At least for me, taking taking phone calls, is REALLY hard. I love my friends, co-workers, and church fam, but it’s become
more hard to keep on answering calls. People mean well and all, but for me it’s not hel;pful.
Keep your hubby busy. Downtime has been the hardest for me. A little downtime is good… but too much and reality hits you. My hubby has been great… he’s offered to do the household chores, but I declined, I need to be busy! But he is cooking for me.
Nora@ The Dollar Hollering Homemaker says
Danielle,
I appreciate your advice, it is always good to hear from someone who has been there. I have dealt with a parent illness in the past, before I was married. However, I do know quite a few couples where illness, job loss, etc play havoc on their marriages. Since I have seen friends deal with these issues and it has torn some of the marriages apart I feel it might be a good idea to address ways that we can be a help meet to our husband during these difficult situations.
Jennifer W-M says
My husband and I moved from my family 1300 miles to his family when my mother in law became ill. My husband did not want her in a nursing home. She needed care around the clock. She was blind and had demensia. So we sold what we could and packed up everything and moved to a tiny town, two hours away from everything to make sure that she was at home. It was hard, there were lots of tears and tension. Sometimes I wish I would have done things better or understood that I just needed to be there, not have all the answers. His mother passed away about a year and a half after we moved and yes, it was hard. My husband took care of her. We had hired help but they sometimes are not dependable. It came down to my husband stayed at home with her and took care of her. The memories that we made in that time together are priceless. My husband feels at peace that we did everything we could to make her time with us comfortable and special. We had birthday parties and huge christmas parties, as well as the stories she would tell when it was just us at home. There are so many good things that came out of our difficult decision and sacrifice that are just so priceless to us now. My biggest lesson was to embrace friends, church, and God. So many prayers were heard and answered.
Angie says
Umm, maybe how to encourage them to be a better Christian leader but indirectly.
melanie says
Not to sound trite, but prayer is your best effort – And praying that God will change you as well. You might check the Nancy Leigh DeMoss website, Revive Our Hearts – she has a 30 day praying for . For a single lady, she sure spews a lot of helpful biblical wisdom about being a wife/mom! If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God…
You may have to let go of your expectations and your definition of what his “Christian leadership” should look like.
ugh, I tried to insert something and can’t see what I’m typing! Sorry — Nancy has a 30 day challenge on encouraging your husband. Check it out! =)
Laura, can your techy fix the comment boxes so we can see the entire comment?? Thanks!
Kelly says
Totally agree with this request! I’ve talked to my husband directly about how, now that wee have a child, it’s more important than ever that he lead us. But he didn’t grow up in a Christian home, doesn’t know what that looks like, doesn’t know where to start. And complains that he’s too busy. What else can we do?
Anitra says
Prayer is #1… but once you’ve got that covered, you can try to make sure you are going to a church that encourages men (not just women) to serve. When men serve alongside other men, it spurs them on to be better leaders in their families.
And you have to do your part and submit to his decisions. Why should he be the leader if you’re doing it for him? ;)
Angie says
I would agree with Nora about communication.
And Nora, I will be praying for you, five years in and my in-laws aren’t on the same page either my husband has had to choose and well it makes for very lonely times. I pray you will not have to go that far.
Angie
Nora@ The Dollar Hollering Homemaker says
Angie,
Thanks so much for your prayers. I will keep you in mine as well. I completely understand the loneliness, we are at that point with my in-laws my husband doesn’t want a relationship with them anymore because of their antics. I pray often that hearts will change.
Nora
Janet Kiessling says
sounds like a good topic…..we all could use a little encouragement & advice!! :)
Jenifer Parker says
How about getting “Him” to lose weight and at least “pretend’ to do some exercise so you don’t lose him way before his time. You can cook healthy but if he’s eating out due to his job and “won’t” brown bag it, what’s a girl to do?
Cathie says
Wow, I’m anxiously awaiting, now that I know you’re going to tackle THAT subject! THAT is a sore spot in my 5 year old marriage. It’s just about the only thing we don’t agree on.
Natalie Watson says
God is good. I was just thinking about writing you an e-mail about something along the lines of this topic. Wasn’t sure what to write or really what I was inquiring for…. so I didn’t.
Marriage is tough work. Even the good ones. I have an incredible husband and his parents worked very hard to raise all their children to be Godly.
I’m emotionally unstable pretty much every day. He’s consistent emotionally, physically, financially and all the other ways you can be stable. This is definitely a good thing for me.
Something that I would love for you to talk about is:
“Your husband always comes first, even before your kids.” This was the one piece of advice that seemed to be consistent from the older women in my life that also have good marriages. Been married almost 3 years now and I haven’t succeeded in that area. My husband never complains about how much I get done and tries to help when he’s not working. We’ve got 2 kids one year apart from each other and we got pregnant right after we got married.
blair says
wow this is us! ours are 18 months apart though. we had our first son 2 weeks before our 1st anniversary. the 2nd was 18 months 4 days after that. i was on birth control and found out we are expecting baby #3!!!! the difference is that my husband DOES sometimes complain.. he has issues with certain sin in his life, and when he struggles with that he always says its because of MY shortfalls. its very stressful, and im not making any headway on it either, so i think i would like to read lauras thougts on that, and everyone elses, too.. i do believe that my husband SHOULD come first, but how do i apply that to my children, when i am going to have 3 of them ages 4 and under?? thats going to be really rough, and i know i got myself here, so i dont need people telling me its my own fault. i can go anywhere and get that. i need Godly advice on how to be better :-)
Amelia says
I hope to finish reading your past posts – I didn’t discover your blog until like…September? I am looking forward to reading about THAT because it’s still a taboo subject among many Christian women. My husband and I are still quite young and have a lot of learning to do overall, but recently we had a baby and my husband (at the ripe age of 24/25) developed serious back problems. Which has an effect on THAT part of our relationship. :-) I look forward to future posts!
Tracy Tysinger says
I have spent the last several days reading all the previous blogs and comments. I have truly enjoyed them and eagerly await more. These are truly a blessing.