Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

Big Jar, Tiny Bananas, and the Nine Year Old Who “gets it”

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Okay, everybody…you know I don’t buy stuff. I usually encourage everyone else to stop buying stuff. I recommend that you don’t even look at stuff so that you aren’t tempted to buy it. Buying stuff generally wastes money, needs to be dusted and clutters up a house. Stuff is over-rated.

But…

You know I love jars. Jars are beautiful and jars are practical and jars get used at my house constantly. I’ve been given a countless number of canning jars and storage jars. I’ve found wonderful jars for pennies at yard sales. My house and my pantry are full of jars of all sizes.

But I don’t buy stuff, which is why I had such a struggle at the store the other day. I had Elias (9) and Malachi (6) with me at the time. We were in the “canning aisle” looking for some more of those nice plastic lids for my wide mouth jars, which unfortunately, they didn’t have. I was backing out of the aisle when on the top shelf I saw a wonderfully, incredibly cute and fantastically huge jar. It was thick and sturdy and it said “Ball” on it and I fell in love.

But I’m a person who doesn’t buy stuff. 

So I kept backing out  of the aisle, and the boys followed me. And then I felt myself magnetized back into the canning aisle, and before I knew it, instead of going in reverse, I was moving forward. Suddenly, I was holding the jar, examining it closely. The boys were quite bored with the whole situation, until I exclaimed something like, “think of the cookies we could put in this thing!” and then they also liked the jar.

I didn’t really need any more jars, and I don’t buy stuff…so I put the jar back on the shelf (I may have hugged it first), and then I backed out of the aisle and walked away.

We went to the produce section and picked up a few things we needed (and now I’m just rambling) but in the produce section we found these adorable, little bananas. I’d never seen such tiny bananas before and the boys thought they were the coolest bananas ever. They were only 97¢ for the whole bunch, so we decided to grab them for a snack.

Now we were ready to check out, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that jar. In my head, the jar was already in my kitchen, filled with delicious treats for my family…or filled with rice or beans and looking cute on top of my fridge…or filled with a nice batch of Limeade with floating ice cubes and lemon and lime slices…

Somehow, for the third time in fifteen minutes, we ended up back in the canning aisle. (Elias and Malachi are great sports…and are also quite used to having a weird mom.)

I made a decision. I was going to splurge and buy that jar. It was $10.47 for Pete’s Sake, which was an excellent price for such a nice jar. It’s not like I was going to be taking the meat and vegetables out of my children’s mouths so that I could “support my habit”.

I put the beautiful jar into my cart, stepping all over myself as I began to launch into a long, yet eloquent lecture to the boys about how we don’t normally just see something at the store and decide to buy it “just because we like it” or even if we love it, because that’s how money gets thrown away and we really want to be careful with money and not wasteful…

And everything I said was totally sinking into their sponge-like brains, I’m sure.

Then Elias interrupted to say, “But Mom…at least this is something you’re really going to use a lot.”

Maybe he was still thinking about the cookies I was going to put into the jar…but yes, he was right. I’m really going to use this little (big) splurge of a jar. Oh look…I already am.

See, isn’t it beautiful?  (It’s okay with me if you don’t think so. I love my jar.)

(And you can’t have it.)  ;)

If you didn’t already know that I am weird and obsessed about jars, now you know. And now you also know how hard it is for me to spend money on things that aren’t food or socks. Shucks, who am I kidding? 

I have a terrible time making myself buy new socks.

:)

What’s your obsession? Do you love jars? Do you drag your children back to specific aisles at the store so that you can hug things? Do you struggle to spend money on socks?

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How to Be a Cool Nana

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The following is a guest post by Teresa Bell Kindred who blogs at Nanahood. She’s a Nana who likes to have fun, but she asked me to be sure to let you know she’s kidding. I mean, I think she’s kidding. I’m pretty sure she’s kidding. No really, she’s kidding.  :)

I can’t let David Letterman out do me, so here are my Top Ten Ways To Be A Cool Nana…..

10. Tattoo your grandchild’s name on your arm. If you have several grandchildren use both arms. If this doesn’t sound appealing use an ink pen for the tats and wash it off after your grandchildren visit.

9. Feed your grandchildren as much candy and as many soft drinks as they can hold, but make sure you only do this when they are not spending the night with you. Unless of course you like staying up all night watching Miley Cyrus reruns.

8. Do whatever they want to do when they want to do it and don’t complain about the mess.

7. Give them the television remote and tell them they can watch anything they want (be sure and have the remote programed for only age appropriate channels before you give it to them).

6. If they are spending the week with you and don’t want to take a bath or brush their teeth-don’t make them.You fought that battle with your children. You shouldn’t have to do it again.

5. Take them to an animal shelter and buy them a pet to take home to mom and dad.

4. Get concert tickets for their favorite rock group and tell them they can take a friend. Then buy yourself a good set of ear plugs and go with them.

3. For summertime entertainment- Have a food fight out on the deck. When you are done use the water hose to spray everyone off. Remind grandchildren not to try this at home. Parents are not nearly as cool as nana.

2. Use photo shop to make a picture of you with their favorite sports star. They’ll think it’s really cool that nana once dated Tom Brady.

And the number one way to prove you are a cool nana….

1. Sell your car and replace it with a Moped Scooter. Use the money you make to take the whole family to Disney World for a week.

Teresa is a super fun Nana (even though she really doesn’t have a moped) who blogs at Nanahood. Spend some time with her on her blog, and take all of your moms and Nanas with you!

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Excuse Me Ma’am…Are Those Your Handcuffs?

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That’s the question the Whole Foods employee asked me as we were leaving the store Friday night. “Ma’am…are those your handcuffs?”

It’s a routine grocery store question, isn’t it? “Would you like paper or plastic?” “Did you find everything you were looking for?” “Do all of those boys belong to you?” “Are those your handcuffs?”

Or maybe that’s  just me.  Eh, I have four boys…questions like this have been typical for the past thirteen years.

Our youngest, Malachi, is very into playing “policeman”. Or “cowboy”. Or “Cowboy-Policeman-Ninja-Superhero”. Yes, he’s quite well rounded…we’re very proud. 

His grandparents got him some handcuffs with a real key and everything at Christmas time. He couldn’t be more excited. The handcuffs round out his Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero outfit very well. He loves them and has them attached to his belt loop (right beside his holster and pistol) at all times – except for when we insist that he take them off…like at bath time or for Bible class. 

Friday night, somehow the handcuffs made their way into the grocery store with us. I was busy trying to find the best deals on chicken and fish…leaving the police work to my six year old. Somewhere between the dairy section and aisle five, the handcuffs got hooked onto the handle of the grocery cart. Then, the Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero became distracted with the huge selection of cereal. Said handcuffs were forgotten as puffs of sugared peanut butter in boxes decorated with brightly colored panda bears became much more interesting.

We were through the line and ready to head out the door when a nice grocery bagger near the exit noticed the handcuffs and hollered,  “Excuse me Ma’am…are those your handcuffs?”

More than a few customers looked up from picking out the prettiest apples to see what in the world the gal meant and who pray tell she was talking to.

What? That question isn’t a typical produce section question they’re used to hearing? 

The key to the handcuffs was (of course) nowhere to be found…but if you’re smarter than a six year old (or at least as smart as a Policeman-Cowboy-Ninja-Superhero), you know how to use the little “handcuff-release-gear-thingy” to open them up. Incidentally, it only took me two weeks to figure out that the cuffs had such a feature, after finding them hooked onto kitchen drawers and dining room chairs a few too many times for my liking. By the way, speaking as a common criminal at my house, I can attest to the fact that it is not easy to type with  handcuffs on. Nor is it easy to reach the “handcuff-release-gear-thingy” on the left hand with a cuffed right hand. 

Anyhoo…it didn’t take long for the other Whole Foods customers to figure out to whom the handcuffs on the cart belonged:  The woman with a big grin and four handsome boys following her out the door.

It’s a good thing the rubber snake didn’t fall out of my purse right at that moment. Now THAT might have created a scene.

In case you’re interested…we had a delightful time at Whole Foods, using a few free gift cards we had earned through Shop it to Me  referrals! Thank you so much to all of you who signed up. I hope you not only signed up, but also have been referring your family and friends so that you can earn free gift cards too!!

We were able to get chicken and tilapia and yogurt and butter and cheese (and some snack bars that got eaten on our way home!) for just over $20 out of pocket by using some in store coupons and our Shop it to Me gift cards. We were heading to Omaha anyway for Asa’s basketball game, so we were excited to make a Whole Foods run! I can not wait to eat that Tilapia!! (It was half price that day!)

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Snowman Pancakes

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We haven’t yet had a big, hard snow fall in Nebraska. I’m sure it’s coming sometime. The boys are really looking forward to some Snow Ice Cream. It is SO worth the uncontrollable shivering and blue lips to eat Snow Ice Cream.

While we eagerly (sort of) await some snow…we’re having fun making some (warm) snow related food.

See, check out our cute Snowmen Pancakes:

I just used my regular Simple Whole Wheat Pancake recipe with mini chocolate chips. Sometimes our snowmen receive randomly placed buttons and eyeballs when we accidentally drop a chocolate chip in the wrong spot. You’ve gotta love a snowman with freckles.

We also had a lot of fun last week making Snowflake Quesadillas:

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And…I thought I’d share this idea sent to me last year. One reader, Jenny, used my whole wheat soft pretzel recipe to make Pretzel Snowmen. Too cute to eat…almost.

pretzelsnowman

I wonder when my kids will outgrow “cute food”. Eh, as long as it’s FOOD, they’ll keep humoring me, right?

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Gratituesday: The Painless Dentist Visit (and Why I Can Eat Lettuce Again)

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gratituesday

I had put it off long enough.

Admittedly, I don’t go to the dentist as often as I’m supposed to. I actually had no idea when I had last been in for a cleaning/check-up and I was afraid to make an appointment and have my dentist shake his head at me as he told me how long it had been. Yes, I am 37 and I was afraid of being scolded. Go figure.

But, I had been experiencing an area of pain in one of my back teeth for several months. I realize I was only delaying the inevitable, but I just wasn’t very eager to go into the dentist office.

And so I put it off. In the meantime, I began to avoid a very important food: Lettuce.

There was something about the crunch of lettuce that shot a searing pain from my jaw all the way to…I don’t know…South Dakota? And so, not only did I avoid going to the dentist, I avoided eating lettuce because it is not fun for pain to shoot from your jaw all the way to your northern state border.

I finally decided that I was being unwise, and also a whiny baby…so I made the appointment.

The dentist only gently suggested that I come in more often, then looked and found my painful spot and said, yes…it looks like I have a tiny bit of decay on a back tooth. They had a cancellation the next day. Did I want to come then? Well sure I did. Gulp.

The next day I was ushered back and as I sat down in the special chair, I had this tremendous urge to buckle my seat belt. Am I a weirdo, or what? Apparently sitting in the dental chair made me feel like I had just taken a seat in my mini-van. What, was I afraid I might fall out or something?

They put the cute little bib on me, then the dentist gave me the option:  the cavity was so tiny that I may not want to mess with having a shot to deaden the area. Did I want to try receiving the filling without having the area numbed?

As it was a Wednesday and I hadn’t really been looking forward to drooling down the left side of my face during Bible class that evening, I decided to give it a go. But I think I said something like, “If at any point during the drilling I feel like punching you, can I then have a shot?”

Yes, I actually said that…to my dentist. I have got to learn when and where it is appropriate to use my sarcasm.

Thankfully, he understood that I was joking (I think) and said that yes, I could have a shot if the pain was too much to handle.

Then they started to drill. I braced myself for the pain. But it never came. Then they put the composite filling in my mouth and drilled that down and then took off my bib. I was done.

Not only did I never have the urge to punch my dentist, I instead had a very big urge to hug him. Painless dental work, really? And I could still feel both of my lips too? What a deal!

Of course, that night I went home and celebrated with (you guessed it) some lettuce. We’re obviously big partiers at our house.

So yes, today I am SO grateful that I got my dentist appointment over with and that it truly was painless. And I’m thankful that I can eat lettuce without pain. I know that’s silly but I truly am thankful for it. (I suppose I should also be grateful that I didn’t punch the man drilling my tooth. Or maybe he should be grateful for that?)

What are you thankful for this Gratituesday? Write about it on your blog, then come link up with us here. If you don’t have a blog, be sure to leave a comment letting us know what you’re grateful for!

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Sniff…

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If you recall, this is what our corn looked like just a few weeks ago. Matt babied it and worked so hard to keep it weed free.

garden_four

You can imagine, then, our despair when we woke up one morning this week after a big rain and wind storm to find this:

corn

I saw it first…and I HATED to tell Matt about it. It was probably only a couple days away from being ready to eat. sniff 

We learned a little bit from this experience about creating good hills around the base of the corn to prevent this. Of course, we are glad that it was just a small part of our garden and not our livelihood. But still…

We are now about two days out from this unfortunate corn flattening and since the plants are still alive, it would seem that we may still be able to eat some of the corn. Maybe?!

And while I’m whining, I may as well show you this, which ALSO happened this week:

broken_jar

Apparently I had filled it too full of broth when I put it in the freezer because it cracked quite a lot. Which means that not only did I lose my beloved jar, but I also lost a half gallon of nutritious broth. I mean…maybe I could have strained out glass pieces from the broth…but did I really feel like taking a chance that one of us would have a tiny little piece of broken glass in our chicken and rice? Um, no.

So there you have it. And you thought you visited my blog for a daily dose of encouragement.  Instead, you come visit and Laura is whining about her fallen corn and her broken jar. 

Let’s see…maybe I can come up with some encouragement for you:

  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. When this happens you have to throw away a bunch of good broth and bear the bad news to your husband that a lot of his hard work just went to waste. It’s a chance to practice being a good help meet. (That was not at all encouraging.)
  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. Broth kinda looks neat with glass floating in it. (Better?)
  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. At least the corn all laid down the same way in the garden so as to be consistent. (I’m trying.)
  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. It’s a good thing two of my kids aren’t big on eating corn on the cob anyway. (Right?)
  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. When I poured the broth onto the ground (in an untraveled area) I bet some raccoon had a really great and nutritious feast lapping it up later. (Always good to help the coons build strong bones and better immune systems.)
  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. Eh, I don’t really like jars that much anyway. (Yeah, right.)
  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. It’s a delightful chance to talk to your kids about how when we don’t stand with our feet firmly rooted in the strength of Jesus, we just blow over when a strong wind comes. (And then they will look at you with a blank stare because today the wind isn’t blowing.)
  • Sometimes jars break and corn falls over. Basically, you just have to get over it and move on. (Which is real encouragement because it’s the truth.)

And there you have it. ;)

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That bad, huh?

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I’ve been on the computer almost non-stop for days. 

Must…finish…project…

I’m actually really (mostly) enjoying it, especially as I see how this project that I started almost two years ago and set aside, thinking that I never would get it done…is really and truly almost finished!!!!!  Thanks to Matt’s urging. He saw it for what it was…something that many of you could really use and appreciate.

So, sixteen hours a day times how many days equals way too much time on the computer at one time. 

Which leads me to this question:  What do you think this is?

too_much_writing

No, not the pencil…the other little thingy there beside the pencil?

It has something to do with how tired I was getting as I stared at the screen.

Here’s a closer-up picture (don’t question my grammar, I’ve been at the computer for WAY too long to come up with real words):

too_much_writing_two

Figure it out yet?

Yes, those are indeed the contact lenses I was wearing on the whichevereth day of being at the computer for too many hours. I just didn’t have the strength to get up out of my chair and go upstairs to take them out properly. And they could NOT stay in my eyeballs for one more minute.

I had Asa bring my glasses to me, and I just plucked those suckers out and tossed them on the table.

And then just I kept right on working.

I didn’t think a thing of it until several hours later when I was trying to clean up part of my mess. I was wiping off the table…and there they were…in all their blobby glory.

And then in my delirium, I got way too tickled and giggly over the fact that really…I had just grabbed my contacts out of my eyes in between typing words, threw them on the table beside my computer and just carried on with my life without blinking. Er, well…I would imagine that I did blink a time or two as I took them out…but you know what I mean.

Only a crazy woman would do this…and then later take a picture of them and share them with her blog reader friends. Welcome to my crazy world, people.

Well anyway, I’m pretty sure that I had given thought to the fact that this particular pair of contacts was on its last leg anyway and that I needed to get out a new pair. (I wear disposable, the kind that last two weeks.)  Right? Surely I was at least thinking clearly about that, wasn’t I? Because I think this particular pair of two week contacts was around three weeks old. 

And on that note…I do believe it’s time for me to turn off the computer for a day or two. I’ve accomplished much. I’ve pushed myself a little more toward insanity. And now I’m taking a break. 

The project is almost done anyway. :)

I’ll see ya Sunday. Or Monday. Or whenever I decide to put a new pair of contacts in.

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Pardon the Cliche

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We just got back from a very long road trip to Arkansas. 12 hours one way. 

Matt couldn’t go with us, but since we were heading to a family reunion, my Uncle Kenny drove with us, making the trip a million times easier for me. The boys were perfect travelers. We all had an awesome time visiting with everyone. The boys played with cousins until the cows came home.

Until the cows came home…really Laura? First I was flying by the seat of my pants, and now the cows are coming home. Where did they head off to in the first place? Do they have a curfew? What will they do if they get lost? Do they have a GPS system? 

Some clichés make sense to me. Flat as a pancake? I get that. Actions speak louder than words? Yes indeed they do. My kids prove it to me daily when they act in an unbecoming way that no doubt they learned from me. Ugh. 

But really, some of these phrases completely drive me nuts (batty, bonkers, up a wall). I mean, have you ever wondered what hog heaven must be like? It sounds muddy to me, no bones about it.

I’ve never had any ducks, but I can’t imagine getting them into a row would be very easy. And how happy are clams anyway? Do you suppose they are as happy as a lark? 

I feel like if I were to literally keep my nose to the grindstone I’d be pretty limited in what I can accomplish during the day. After all, I’m usually busier than a one armed paper hanger. This is why there actually have been days that I have cried over spilled milk. I couldn’t help it.

I’ve never had any money burn a hole in my pocket, for which I am grateful as that may be more painful than being on pins and needles. And besides, a penny saved is a penny earned. Money doesn’t grow on trees, however I do feel like I’m rolling in the dough, what with all the bread I have to make around here to keep up with these kids who can eat like a horse.

I do tend to joke around a lot, but count on me to never to pull your leg or step on your toes. Neither will I let your cat out of the bag. Hey, if you want to keep your cat in a bag, that is where it should be, although I have no earthly idea why. Then again, I’ve never walked in your shoes.

Sometimes you’ve got to take a bull by the horns, but you can’t squeeze the blood out of a turnip. And that is the whole kit and kaboodle.

Know any more great clichés? Go ahead and share…until the cows come home. I’m all ears. 

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National Day of What?

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We already covered the fact that Monday was National Pretzel Day.
 
But did you know that this upcoming Friday is National No Pants Day? I wish I were kidding. First of all, who came up with that? And how in the world was it approved as a national holiday? And what on earth is the purpose? To celebrate free will? To rebel against constricting legware? To save money on laundry detergent for a day?
 
If you can’t get into that holiday, perhaps you’ll like Saturday’s holiday better. It’s National Stay Up All Night Celebration. Yeah, I can make it until about 10 pm and then my sentences no longer make sense and my eyes start to glaze over. Staying up all night does not work for me. I can’t do it. But if you want to, go right ahead. It’s a National Holiday after all.
 
Last Friday was National Hairball Awareness Day. I am quite aware that hairballs exist. I’ve seen cats cough them up and it isn’t pretty. I’m not sure how much more aware of hairballs I need to be. Perhaps I have been in denial of how many hairballs there really are in this Nation of ours. I feel slightly ashamed of my lack of attention toward the matter.
 
While we’re on the subject of cats, did you know that there’s a What If Cats And Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day? Yep. It does make you pause to take a moment and reflect on the possiblity, doesn’t it? Okay, I’m all done reflecting. Moving on…
 
Oh wow – another cat day. Sure enough, December 15 is National Cat Herders Day. I’ve herded cows before and have found that it is not easy for me. I can’t imagine herding a bunch of cats. And by the way, where are we trying to get them walk together in unison? While I don’t really want to participate in herding a group of cats into one specific place, if you are planning to do it, please call me because I’d kinda like to watch.
 
There was a day in January in which Rid the World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day was celebrated. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was not highly effective.
 
The last day of the year is apparently Make Up Your Mind Day. Should I celebrate it though? I can’t decide. I keep going back and forth on that one. 
 
There is also a National No Interupptions Day. While I would love for my children to celebrate this day – every day- I can’t help but think of the insanity of not being able to interrupt a radio or TV show with an important announcement. “We interrupt this broadcast to inform you of a severe weather alert. Oh WAIT, never mind! It’s No Interupptions Day. Go about your business. Take care.”
 
Well, use your best judgement about National No Pants Day coming up next Friday. I may stay home all day, just to play it safe. Because while I certainly don’t want to go around without my pants, I really don’t want to see you without yours.
 
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It’s National Pretzel Day! Make Some Memories!

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making_memories

First, I’d just like to say that I think it’s funny that there is a national ANYTHING day. You name it, there is a national day for it. While I’m not opposed to celebrating the day zippers became patented (because I happen to appreciate zippers very much), I just find it interesting that there is a day to honor this occasion.

That being said, in case you didn’t know, today (Monday April 26) is National Pretzel Day. Now this is one celebration I can get into. You know I love me some homemade soft pretzels!!

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Perfectly fitting for today, Jennifer at Adventures in McQuill-land is hosting Making Memories Monday. I happen to think that making homemade whole wheat soft pretzels is a very fun way to make memories with your kids! Mixing them up, letting them rise, punching them down and shaping them – and then of course eating them together (with butter slathered all over) – what a great way to make memories! Maybe you could shape them into alphabet letters, spell out your child’s name or create some fun animals. Get creative! (Remember these fun pretzel shapes?)  Or you can of course just enjoy shaping them into regular ol’ pretzels!

One of my favorite ways to make memories with my kids is by having them in the kitchen with me! Be sure to see how others are making memories at Making Memories Monday. And…scroll through these posts to learn more about getting your kids into the kitchen with you! (Hey, if you do decide to make some fun pretzel memories today, can you email me your pictures?! I want to see what you came up with!)

So, what day should National Heavenly Homemaker’s Day be? (It would be a day to celebrate all of you!!! And there would be lots of chocolate.)

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