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To My Mom On What Would Have Been Her 66th Birthday

May 9, 2015 by Laura 25 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Hey, Mom.

I woke up thinking about you today. It’s funny that even though you’ve been gone for almost 11 years, I still have to stop myself from picking up the phone to call you on your birthday. I smiled knowing that you would have chuckled at the thought of that, but then reality and irony hit about the whole situation so I got teary-eyed. Then I teared up again later on the soccer field watching Elias play (tears and timing rarely make sense, right?). So now I’m writing you, not because you’ll ever read this, but because I need to write it.

mom2

I remember loving that your birthday and Mother’s Day were so close together – kind of like May was your month. Now I sort of hate it because it almost seems cruel to be hit so hard all at once with missing you on all of your special days all at the same time. But shoot. If I’m going to get weepy out on the soccer field anyway, maybe it’s better to just knock it all out at once instead of dragging it all out.

If you were here, I would have bought you a new blue shirt – because I always got you a new blue shirt for your birthday and you always loved it. Matt and the boys will be grilling burgers for me tomorrow; then we’ll play some Mother’s Day soccer. It’s our tradition. Who knew, right? Yep. That’s my life. Boys, boys, boys…and sports. And also food, of course.

You would be so amazed at these boys, Mom. Every day we see God working in them to grow them into Christ-like leaders. They are getting crazy tall, too. You knew that would happen though, right?

boys at wedding

And Asa. Your oldest grandchild. Well, he’s graduating from high school next week. (With a 4.0 I might add, which truly is neither here nor there, but I know you’d be proud because he has worked so hard, and also – scholarships!) Lots of people are coming into town to celebrate. We’ll miss you. I’m making your dip for Sunday night.

mom1

Grammy and Asa, June 1997

I’ve pretty well got the kitchen thing figured out, but sometimes I wish I could ask you stuff, and I still can’t turn out a Sunday roast like you could. What in the world was your secret?

You would love seeing how many ladies God has used to bless me at times I miss you the most. So many ladies – because God always knows. My aunts are the best, and so are many others from church, our community, and even online (that’s a thing now). Dad’s wife, Tacy, loves us so sweetly (is it weird to talk to you about that?). Truly, the two of you would have been friends. Well, anyway. Just know that, while of course no one will ever replace you, I am well cared for.

Uncle Richard and Uncle Wayland joined you this year – a rough few weeks for the Hamm family. This summer’s Hamm Bash won’t be the same, but we’ll just love on each other and appreciate each other all the more.

One last thing. I love coffee now! I knew you’d be tickled about that. Had I learned to love it earlier, we could have enjoyed it together. But hey, since I never learned to like quilting like you did, at least I learned to like coffee. It’s a close second, right?

So Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day all right here two days in a row. I’ll smile now as I celebrate your life and the gift of motherhood. And if I ever take up quilting (don’t count on it), I’ll be sure to let you know.

All my love,
Laura

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Low Sugar Carrot Cake With Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

May 8, 2015 by Laura 11 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

This Carrot Cake might be my family’s favorite low sugar treat so far!

I cut the sugar from the original recipe from 5 1/2 cups to just under 3/4 cups total. Not too shabby, eh? And just look at this plate of deliciousness!

Low Sugar Carrot Cake with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

I personally like the Stevia Sweetened Cream Cheese Frosting recipe you’ll find with this Super Moist Chocolate Cake recipe. But my boys were asking if maybe I could make the frosting just a little bit sweeter this time. Why not? I simply added 3 Tablespoons of real maple syrup to the frosting and they LOVED it. How’s that for a healthier alternative to 4 cups of powdered sugar? Oh yes.

Low Sugar Carrot CakeYum

Low Sugar Carrot Cake With Maple Cream Cheese Frosting
 
Save Print
Author: Laura
Ingredients
  • 2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
  • ½ cup sucanat
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 3 cups finely shredded carrot (about 6 carrots)
  • 1 cup melted coconut oil
  • 4 eggs
Instructions
  1. Stir together flour, sucanat, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon.
  2. Mix in shredded carrots, melted oil, and eggs.
  3. Pour batter into a buttered 9x13 inch baking dish.
  4. Bake in a 350° for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of the cake comes out clean.
  5. Allow cake to cool completely before spreading on frosting.
3.4.3177

Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

8 ounces softened cream cheese
¼ cup softened butter
3-4 Tablespoons real maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

With a hand mixer (or in your blender), whip together all ingredients until smooth. Spread over cooled cake.

Go forth and pin this recipe. Or print it and pin it to your shirt so you can make it this weekend. This is an order, or at the very least, it is a very sweet suggestion.

Looking for more Low Sugar Recipes?

  • Easy {Low} Sugar Cookies
  • Low Sugar Lemon Melt-Away Cookies
  • Low Sugar Almond Melt-Away Cookies
  • Low Sugar Orange Melt-Away Cookies
  • Low Sugar Lime Melt-Away Cookies
  • Low Sugar Strawberry Cheesecake Parfaits
  • Low Sugar Chocolate Fudge Cookies
  • Low Sugar Chocolate Cheesecake Parfaits
  • Low Sugar Pumpkin Cheesecake Cups
  • Low Sugar Sunshine Cake
  • Low Sugar Super Moist Chocolate Cake
  • Coconut Fudge Bars
  • Low Sugar Lemon Loaf
  • Low Sugar Oatmeal Cookies
  • Low Sugar Peanut Butter Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting
Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Want To Win a You-Pin? Wait. What is a You-Pin?

May 7, 2015 by Laura 116 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Well here’s something fun and new. Or at least it’s new to me. From the maker of my very favorite Flexi-Clip is the very pretty You-Pin.

you pins

 

How do you use these, you ask? Watch this video. (Or click on this link to watch the instructional video.) These are so cool!

Isn’t that pretty?! Paula (our very own Lilla Rose consultant) makes it look easy. But from my experience with other Lilla Rose products, it likely is very easy. That’s the beauty of these products! They make pretty hair-dos simple!

Today, Paula is giving away three surprise pairs of You-Pins (one pair each to three winners). Leave a comment on this post to be entered in a random drawing (newsletter subscribers – please click through to comment). For additional entries, follow Paula’s Lilla Rose board on Pinterest, subscribe to her personal monthly newsletter, and/or join her brand new exclusive Facebook group, Paula’s Super-Awesome Lilla Rose Fan Club! Get hairstyle ideas, see newly-released products, and get members-only special deals and giveaways!

I’ll draw three random winners on…well, next week sometime. (I’m blogging more flexibly now, remember?!)  ;) Be watching for a post stating the winners as you will be responsible for contacting me if your name is chosen.

One more thing!

Paula is offering all of us a Buy 3 Get 1 Free Special:

Special offer for Heavenly Homemakers readers only! Get a FREE SURPRISE FLEXI when you place an order for three or more items!*

*Place an order for three or more items through Paula’s website, then message her to redeem your free surprise flexi! Offer valid for U.S. customers only and expires May 16, 2015. This is for both new and Paula’s returning customers, but if you already have another Lilla Rose consultant, please stay with her; I’m sure she will appreciate it! Thank you!

Also,
Help support LIFE! All proceeds from purchases made through Paula’s website through this promotional period will be donated to pro-life and adoption ministries. Read more about this fantastic opportunity to bless others HERE.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

A Surrendered Heart: How Selfish is Your Prayer?

May 6, 2015 by Laura 29 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Welcome to A Surrendered Heart: A Wife’s Journey to Love the Jesus Way. Click on the “Leave a Comment” button on each post to add your thoughts, experiences, and suggestions to the discussion. If you are a newsletter subscriber, please click through to this post on my website to add your comments to the discussion to be read by everyone. I look forward to hearing what you have to say! God be praised for the gift of marriage and for allowing us to grow in Him.

Read Lesson 1:  Why I Married This Guy
Read Lesson 2: So, What Does Your Husband Do?

Surrendered Heart Lesson 3

Straight up: It’s too easy to pray for God to change our husband to be what we want him to be instead of surrendering our  heart to seek God’s will in our marriage.

What do I mean by this? I mean that we wives often think we know what’s best. We may even be right every once in a while. The problem comes when we believe we’re right every time -when we think we have our husbands, our kids, our marriage, our schedules, our do’s and don’ts, our everything figured out. Then those are the requests that come through in our prayers. They are selfish, self-seeking, self-motivated. They are not a prayer whispered from a surrendered heart. (I know this. I’ve done this. I do this.)

This is what I’m learning: I don’t know what is best for myself and for my family much of the time. When I find myself in a state of “I’m not sure how to handle this,” I can begin to worry. When I begin to worry – well, do I even need to describe this? We all know the mind blowing chaos that occurs in the heart of a woman who is trying to find answers without the help of the Holy Spirit.

What if I recognized that letting God work out His plan in my husband will be absolutely for his good as well as mine? What if I surrendered my heart to the Spirit, recognizing my lack of power, my lack of wisdom, my lack of ability to make changes in the heart of my beloved?

Do you know the lightness one feels when one stops trying to figure things out and fix all the problems? Do you know the beauty of a woman who surrenders her heart to the One who truly has all power?

This changes everything. When we, as wives, stop trying to be God and accept that God alone is God? Incredible. My prayer focus shifts quickly when I find myself heading down a path of fretfulness – then let it go absolutely, surrendering my anxt to the Holy Spirit.

Today’s scripture focus is Luke 11:9-10. We’ve all heard it before, but consider this: if we ask, seek, knock, beg, plead, cry, and whine about anything that is not from a surrendered heart – we will continue to experience lack of peace.

If instead we confidently approach the Father in the name of Jesus, recognizing that He has the power to work all things for good in our lives and in the life of our husband –  we will be amazed at what we find, at what we receive, and at what might be behind that open door.

That’s because God knows best. He loves our surrendered heart so that He can finally reveal His goodness and wisdom to us. Then He hands us His perfect gift of peace – the frosting on top of the cake of blessing.

Luke 11910

Download Ask, Seek, Knock Printable Here.

As you fill out the following “My Prayer for Him” printable, be continually reminded that your prayer is to have a kingdom focus, not an earthly focus. Ask the Holy Spirit to keep you in check as you surrender your heart in prayer for your husband. Pray confidently, because as the above passage promises: everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks the door WILL BE OPENED. Learn to let the desires of your heart be in sync with God’s will for you and for your marriage.

My Prayer For Him

Download My Prayer for Him Printable Here.

Your open heart will bring you joy as you lay your concerns and desires down, allowing Jesus to take over in your marriage. Recognize that this is a continual process! We have to give ourselves up constantly, so don’t feel as though you failed when you find yourself in the midst of yet another struggle. God is there for each one, so as frequently as you must, simply take a deep breath and surrender.

Up For Discussion…Share With Us

  • Share your thoughts on this statement: “We all know the mind blowing chaos that occurs in the heart of a woman who is trying to find answers without the help of the Holy Spirit.” Been there, done that? Ugh, me tooooooo.
  • Describe what it looks like to surrender a struggle or concern to the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.
  • What are some phrases you might try praying for your husband on a regular basis? What needs does he have that only the Father can meet?
  • When do you find that it is easiest to pray for your husband?
Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Everyone Gets a FREE BeeSilk Stick (My Fav!)

May 5, 2015 by Laura 10 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Once upon a time (4.5 years ago), Renee from MadeOn sent me a BeeSilk Lotion Bar. At the time, my hands were red, dry, and cracking. I was skeptical of all lotions as most of them made my hands worse, not better – but I tried it anyway because the ingredients were pure and I thought maybe, just maybe this would help me.

I held the lotion bar in my hands to soften it, then rubbed it over my dry hands. Immediately my hands felt better. I was amazed that for the rest of the day – my hands felt great. I re-applied the lotion before bed. The next day they were as smooth as a baby’s…forehead. ;)

I use BeeSilk Lotion every day now, my family uses it every day, we never go without it, and our skin lives happily ever after. The end.

hands

Great story, huh? A true one, too. I super love BeeSilk Lotion.

Since the first time we tried MadeOn, we’ve also starting using their Bug Block and Lip Balm – loving those too. Beyond the fact that these products are super effective, they are also completely pure and healthy for the skin. (As in, the ingredients are safe enough to eat.) Plus, they are reasonably priced. So this is a win-win-win.

And now the best news of all. Through Saturday, we can all get a free BeeSilk Stick ($7.65 value)!

Free Bee Silk Stick!

Since I’ve been working with Renee from MadeOn for so many years now, I asked if she’d want to swing us a deal. She came back with a freebie because she loves Heavenly Homemakers readers almost as much as I do. Almost. ;)

Now through Saturday, May 9 we can each get a free BeeSilk Lotion Stick. These are just like the lotion bars, only they are in stick form – like a glue stick, only bigger. You can throw them in your purse to easily rub onto your skin or your child’s skin.

How To Get a Free BeeSilk Lotion Stick:

  1. Click here to get to the special “Free BeeSilk Lotion Stick for Heavenly Homemakers Readers” page.
  2. Enter your email address and then click the yellow button. (Yes, then you’ll be on the MadeOn mailing list which I find very beneficial – but if you prefer, you can unsubscribe from her newsletter at any time.)
  3. Place your order for a free BeeSilk Stick. You’ll need to pay a small shipping fee OR you can do what I did when I took advantage of this: I ordered enough products to get free shipping. We use these products constantly, and I really needed to stock up on Bug Block Sticks for my kids to take to camp this summer.

Don’t forget -this fun freebie deal ends May 9. Enjoy! You’ll find that these Lotion Sticks are great for dry, cracked heels too. I recommend stocking up on Bug Block while you’re there. It works VERY WELL and it absolutely safe. I love this!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Gratituesday ~ Today and Every Day (Plus come see my pretty bathroom!)

May 4, 2015 by Laura 21 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

gratituesday[2]

Why yes. I did just invite you to go to the bathroom with me. That’s what girls do, right? They go to the bathroom in pairs?

I’m ever so grateful for your input and thoughts about my blogging schedule (or lack thereof). Gratituesday will remain. But if sometimes I post something else on Tuesdays instead, so be it. And if sometimes I post what I’m grateful for on a Friday, so be it. And if we can all focus on giving thanks to God every single day, especially when we are tempted to grumble – well then God be praised!

So back to my bathroom.

You guys!!!!!! My husband has worked so hard and has done a beautiful job transforming this room. It is finally almost completed. Just a few small-ish details (hang the mirror, etc.) left to call it “finished.”

Before I show you what it looks like, first let me remind you of the before pictures. It may not look “so bad” but trust me – this bathroom was 40,000 years old (or so) and had some – shall we say… issues. Issues, I’m telling you.

bathroom 1

So Matt gutted it and started from ground zero.

bathroom 2

Then he managed to get the shower installed before we had a houseful (and I do mean house FULL) of teenage boys for an entire weekend.

bathroom 3

Then slowly but surely, Matt continued to work for hours over the past months replacing the toilet, installing a fan, installing a light fixture, putting up drywall, tiling the walls and the floor, grouting, painting, and installing a new sink (with silly plumbing issues).

bathroom 8

And now LOOOOOOK!!!!!!

bathroom finished 1

I cannot tell you how fun it is to go pee in there, and that’s just the truth.

bathroom finished 2

The room is so pretty, and I just love it! I’m so thankful for my husband’s hard work, and I’m very grateful that it’s ready before we have a houseful of out-of-towners coming for graduation. Phew!

Here’s to one more house renovation (almost) in the books.

Now your turn! Leave a comment to share what you are thankful for this Gratituesday!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

What if I don’t want to blog on a schedule anymore?

May 3, 2015 by Laura 122 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

After a very full, very wonderful weekend – I’m finally finding a minute to sit down and type out a weekly menu to share with you. But here’s what I can’t stop thinking:

I don’t want to type out a menu to share.

It’s not because I don’t love menu plans and find them really helpful. It’s just that it takes quite a bit of time each week to type it all out and find the links for all the recipes. What if I just want to take a few minutes to scratch down my menu plan in my Menu Planning Notebook and throw it on my fridge?

And what if sometimes I have something on my heart to share for Gratituesday, but sometimes I think of something that fits this but it’s (believe it or not) a Friday? Do I save it for Gratituesday or share it on Friday and give you a recipe on Tuesday instead?

I don’t know, you guys. It’s weird and maybe it even seems silly, but even though I’m thankful for a million and a half things – sometimes “coming up with” a Gratituesday post each week feels like pressure to me. Just like typing out a menu plan has begun to feel like “work.”

Don’t misunderstand. I love what I do here. {insert lots of exclamation marks all over the place} I just wonder if I would maybe love it more if I stopped blogging so much on a schedule and simply…blogged.

You know what my best posts have been? They’ve been the posts God has put on my heart to write, then I’ve listened and obeyed. But keeping to a schedule has sometimes meant that I don’t have time to write some of what God has put on my heart. I can’t even tell you how many great lessons God has been teaching me lately. I want to fill books and posts and newsletters about it all! But then I too often run out of time because I’m taking the time to write a menu or whatever.

(All great writers end sentences with “or whatever.” It’s a great way to add meaning to a thought and all that stuff.)

I know many of you love reading my menu plans. The good news is that I’ve got two eBooks filled with them and about 1,000 menu plans for free in my archives that you can access at any time for inspiration. I will welcome the time this frees up for me to focus on other writing, so I won’t grieve this change much.

But not writing a Gratituesday post each week? Well that makes me tear up a little. That has been a weekly part of Heavenly Homemakers since this site was a newborn. I really want to hear from you on this! Stop Gratituesday as a feature or keep it? I promise that if it’s no longer a weekly feature, I will absolutely still share what I’m grateful for as I have something special to share. It just might not be on a Tuesday. Shoot. I don’t know. There’s something really special about Gratituesday. It’s hard to think about letting that go.

I would really appreciate your input. What do you love about HeavenlyHomemakers.com? What blesses you the most?

It takes hours each week to keep up with this site. These are hours I love, but I’m always behind on keeping up and I want my time to be spent in a way that is a blessing to you – my very dear and precious readers. Plus I want my content to be Spirit led, not schedule led.

So will you please share your thoughts with me? I’m praying over this and will pray over your comments as I consider them.

God has done amazing things with HeavenlyHomemakers.com. I can’t help but wonder what He has in mind next.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Helping You Find Great Prices on Great Products (To Go With Great Recipes)

May 1, 2015 by Laura 1 Comment

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

I love sharing yummy real food recipes with you. But I also really love sharing ways I’ve found to save money on the real food ingredients it takes to make these recipes. Here are some of the latest and greatest, along with links to some of my favorite recipes using these ingredients:

Ben’s Sugar Shack Pure Maple Syrup is as low as $15.29/quart if you buy it with four other subscribe and save items. I prefer Grade B, Organic syrup, but I read the reviews on this and I feel good about serving it to my family. Plus the price is great!

bens sugar shackHow I’ll use this maple syrup:

  • Pancake and Sausage Muffins
  • Creamy Orange Cooler
  • Whole Wheat Waffles
  • Quick Mix Pancakes
  • Warm Vanilla Soother

What I make with coconut oil:

  • Chocolate Chocolate Chip Muffins (and pretty much all my muffins)
  • Dark Chocolate Almond Granola
  • Super Moist Chocolate Cake
  • Strawberry Shortcake
  • White Chocolate Peppermint Popcorn (and plain, salted popcorn too)

anthonys coconut flour

With this coconut flour I’ll make:

  • Coconut Flour Muffins
  • Coconut Flour Cheddar Drop Biscuits
  • Coconut Flour Brownies
  • Coconut Flour Banana Muffins

coconut_flour_cheddar_biscuits_2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one isn’t an ingredient, but it is a very useful item I use with many of my favorite recipes…

pyrex bowls 2

My favorite summer recipes to store in these bowls are:

  • Creamy Coleslaw
  • Cream Cheese Salsa Dip
  • Black Bean Salsa
  • Ham and Cheese Pasta Salad

Notes:

  • Learn more about how Subscribe and Save works here.
  • See more Amazon Deals here.

If you really want to learn ways to save…

Join our Heavenly Homemaker’s Savings Club! 

I’ll keep you updated with all the latest deals!

This post contains affiliate links….and lots of fun recipes. :)

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

So You Wanted a Low Sugar Chocolate Frosting for your Low Sugar Chocolate Cake?

April 30, 2015 by Laura 4 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

When I shared this Low Sugar Super Moist Chocolate Cake recipe and told you that I’d adapted it from a Texas Sheet Cake recipe, several asked if I could come up with a low sugar chocolate frosting to go with it. I mean, the Cream Cheese Frosting is great, but sometimes we just need some chocolate with our chocolate, yes?

Low Sugar Super Moist Chocolate Cake

Creating a chocolate frosting for this cake was a little bit tricky. See, low sugar chocolate can turn out quite bitter if you’re not a dark chocolate fan (um, or even if you are). Plus, powdered sugar is typically what gives frosting its bulk. That’s why I’ve been using cream cheese frosting. The cream cheese and whipped cream provided the bulk, then the stevia provided the sweetness and we were good to go. (More about stevia here.)

Here’s what I learned through this trial and error process: Making chocolate frosting with stevia is not so good. Spread on top of the cake it was so-so, but wow, the bitterness had too much of a bite, even for me – the one who loves dark-dark chocolate.

So here’s the solution I came up with: I used honey. This frosting is really more of a glaze, because there’s not much in it to make it thick and creamy. But a thin chocolate glaze on a chocolate cake like this? Just right.

Find the Super Moist Chocolate Cake recipe here.

Low Sugar Chocolate FrostingYum

1/2 cup butter
4 Tablespoons cocoa powder
2 Tablespoons milk
2-4 Tablespoons honey (sweeten this to your taste)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

In a small saucepan combine butter, cocoa, milk, and honey. Cook and stir over low heat until ingredients are well combined and mixture begins to thicken slightly. Removed from heat. Stir in vanilla. Spread over cooled cake.

Honey Sweetened Chocolate Frosting

We really liked this cake with whipped cream on top. I simply whipped the cream, then added a few drops of stevia.

Low Sugar Chocolate Cake with Honey Sweetened Frosting

I continue to be fascinated by the fact that we can take so much of the sugar out of recipes and still turn out a delicious treat.

And guess what??!! Coming up next week…Low Sugar Carrot Cake with Maple Frosting recipe. YES!! I played with a recipe and my family loved it! I’ll get it typed up to share with you soon.

Do you have any low sugar treat requests for me to play with? I won’t make any promises on being able to create what you want, but I bet I’ll have fun trying. :)

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

A Surrendered Heart: So…What Does Your Husband Do?

April 29, 2015 by Laura 34 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, please see our disclosure policy.

Welcome to A Surrendered Heart: A Wife’s Journey to Love the Jesus Way. I will be sharing my thoughts here each Thursday during this 6-week class, offering printable journal pages for you to pray through on your own time, and providing discussion questions for us to talk though together. How will this work? Simply click on the “Leave a Comment” button on each post to add your thoughts, experiences, and suggestions to the discussion. If you are a newsletter subscriber, please click through to this post on my website to add your comments to the discussion to be read by everyone. I look forward to hearing what you have to say! God be praised for the gift of marriage and for allowing us to grow in Him.

Read Lesson 1: Why I Married This Guy

Surrendered Heart Lesson 2

It’s too easy to park my brain and heart on all that my husband isn’t doing, forgets to do, doesn’t notice needs to be done, or hasn’t yet gotten around to. The list: it can become long. I’ve told him, I’ve encouraged him, I’ve made suggestions, and I’ve downright nagged. He still doesn’t do everything he needs to do.

I mean everything I need him to do.

I mean everything I want him to do.

I mean everything that would make my ideal world of idealism completely ideal. If he could maybe just work within my time table. Perhaps he could be a little bit more like the perfect guy I envision.

Yes. That’s what I want. A perfect guy. Like the ones in the books and movies (written by women). {bonks self on head}

I know I’m being unreasonable. But sometimes my heart doesn’t care. I want what I want when I want it and if I try even just a little bit, I can turn those wants into absolute needs – and then suddenly all I can think about is all that my husband isn’t doing. All he hasn’t gotten around to. All he forgot was on his my urgent to-do list. These are real things – the work we need our husbands to do for us – just like the work he needs us to do for him. I’m not discounting the list – I’m gently squeezing the heart. What seeps out? Joy or dispair?

I’ve heard it suggested that wives would benefit from thinking about and appreciating everything her husband does do – instead of focusing on all that he doesn’t. I mean really, if we were making lists, how many bullet points could I write about all I need to do but don’t get around to in a day? Goodness – the list would be long. If my husband read my “didn’t get done” list to me night after night – ignoring and not appreciating everything I did do in a day? I’d curl up in a ball and cry.

My husband is tougher than that. But how many times have I read him the “I need you to do” list without even acknowledging and appreciating all of the “thank you so much for doing” list? It’s okay to have requests. It’s okay to need him to get work done around the house. It’s even okay to want some emotional needs to be met by your guy. It’s just not okay to be unappreciative and to focus our hearts on our husband’s imperfections so that we become discontent and disrespectful.

So. What does my husband do?

I’m so glad you asked. But before I tell you, I want you to remember something. My guy is mine. Your guy is yours. Don’t let what my husband does add more to your list of what your husband doesn’t do. Your husband is good at doing some things that never crosses my husband’s mind and vice versa. One of the quickest ways a wife can become discontent with her husband is to compare him to someone else and think, “Why can’t my husband be more like that?” That’s messed up and we both know it.

Now me first, then you. What does my husband do?

  • He reads the Bible to our family at breakfast
  • He does our taxes (I barf just reading that word)
  • He coaches our sons’ soccer teams
  • He leads our family in scripture memory time and discusses the scriptures so they reach both head and heart
  • He does dozens of repairs around our home

The rest of that list I am writing on my own for my own heart (see printable below). That’s the point. My own heart needs to be constantly reminded of all my husband does because when my heart dwells there, the “all he doesn’t do” focus fizzles away just like all other unhealthy thoughts fizzle away when Christ takes over.

Scripture to Consider

I’ve included two verses for us to focus on today, and I encourage you to read them within their contexts as you listen to what God has to teach you. Consider what your eyes are seeing when you look at your husband and think about what he does. Are your eyes fixed on Jesus, filling you with light (which makes you radiant)? Or are you instead focusing on the temporary, which is full of this life’s frustrations?

Luke 1134
Download the Fix our Eyes Printable Here

Print the following “What He Does” page to add to your Surrender Your Heart journal. Ask God to reveal truth to you. What does your husband do? Spend time reflecting, then fill the page. Next time you’re tempted to dwell on what your husband doesn’t do – have a heart check. Surrender your heart to let God win the battle of the mind!

What He Does 450

 Download the What He Does Printable Here

God will reveal to you what is important enough to ask of your husband. Pray. Surrender. Listen. Obey.

My experience has been vividly clear when practicing this. When I’m focused on what my husband doesn’t do I find myself frustrated, discontent, and ugly-hearted. When I instead look with appreciation at all he is doing, well…let the beaming begin. (You have been beaming, right?)

Up For Discussion…Share With Us

  • What does your husband do? (Go on, brag a little.)
  • What do you notice each time you “fix your eyes on Jesus” compared to the times you are focused on earthly desires?
  • How can you stop yourself from heading down a path of discontentment when your husband fails to live up to your expectations?
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