Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

Is Our Family Still Homeschooling?

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Today seems like a good day to update you on whether or not our family is still homeschooling…

I’m not great at keeping you updated on life, and for good reason. Here’s a small scrapbook to show you what takes up our time and energy these days:

And oh yeah. Asa’s getting married next month!

When people ask me, “How many kids do you have?” I absurdly stutter around for several awkward seconds like a weird-y weirdo because I honestly don’t know how to answer.

The breakdown:

One of our foster babes went back to live with bio family, but he’s still with us three days a week and we still claim him as our own. We’re adding a daughter-in-law to the mix, and she totally counts as ours. Justus also has a serious girlfriend; she is our girl too. We currently have four foster daughters. We have four bio sons and two adopted sons. And there are at least 2o young adults/college students that come and go from our house regularly for food, laundry, and hugs.

So Laura. How many kids do you have?

I don’t know. 27?? 32?? Eighty-twelve??

Currently, though, I’ll go ahead and land on the number ten. That’s the official number as of today, which includes our bios, adopted, and fosters. Today, we have ten kids.

I guess I still haven’t answered the original question though:

Is our family still homeschooling?

The short answer is yes, we are. But also no, we aren’t. Eh?

I’ll explain.

About a year ago, I shared how God led us to put Brayden (our now 7 year old) in public school to help meet his many academic and emotional needs. Head here to read more about that.

How’s it going?

So, so well. Our public school in York is fantastic and is offering Brayden so much of what he needs right now. We are so thankful!

He will start 2nd grade there in August, and his 5yo sister (our foster daughter) will join him as a kindergartener.

Meanwhile, our 16yo Malachi will be doing a hybrid-type of schooling for his junior year. He’ll take two classes at our public school, which will allow him to participate in extra-curricular activities (soccer, tennis, show choir, one-act, and whatever else our extraverted child decides to become a part of). He’ll also take three college classes per semester this year to knock out as many dual credits as possible. And he’ll finish up any regular homeschool credits he needs to meet high school graduation requirements.

So technically, we’re still homeschooling Malachi. But really, we’re just guiding him through college courses and equipping him for adulthood.

But here’s the big truth about homeschooling:

We. Are. All. Doing. It.

Or at least we’d better all be doing it. Officially or unofficially.

No matter who is the main academic educator of your children, as parents, we are all and should be still teaching our kids. We teach them about loving and following Jesus first. We teach them about loving and serving people. We teach them to work hard and share and care and take turns. We teach them to put others before themselves. We teach them to be responsible and for goodness sake please take your dishes to the sink and your trash to the trash can.

And what else? We turn everything into a teaching opportunity. (Ok, not everything. Sometimes by the end of the day, I cop out with “good question I don’t know go brush your teeth” because my mouth is so very tired of talking to so many people all day long. I admit it.)

But (in the morning after I’ve had coffee) when my kids ask a question about the bug they find on the leaf outside, we have fun finding the answer (because there’s an app for that). When we scoop flour into the mixer, we count out loud. When we realize that every kid got to crack three eggs to help with breakfast, we add them all up to see how many that makes altogether.

I read books to them. They read books to me. They read books to themselves. We talk. We explore. We memorize scripture. We talk about budgets, money management, running a business, running a home, running for office, running a race, running for cover (tornado drill, anyone?).

You don’t have to be a homeschooler to homeschool.

Does this make sense? Call it whatever you want, but know the truth: You are your child’s teacher. You are their best teacher. Their first teacher. Their most important teacher – no matter who teaches them to sound out words or explains the finer points of Algebra (and shall we all now take a moment of silence to appreciate these professionals who pour into our kids so that we can avoid having to hurt our brains trying to understand exponential equations?).

Will our family ever homeschool again?

Again, we are still homeschooling. We’re just currently sending our younger kids to public school, and we are so grateful for this wonderful option for our family right now. ;)

But will we ever homeschool again in the traditional sense?

We’re waiting for God to tell us that answer.

Right now, we feel 100% confident that public school is necessary for our kids and also for me with all I am juggling (four kids ages two and under, court, caseworkers, baby’s medical needs and physical therapy, etc).

However, I also sometimes look at our shelf of books with longing. I look back at our years of homeschooling memories and I miss it.

But I also remember how much work it is. It was good, meaningful, worthwhile work, but it was hard work. And I don’t miss that right now. I don’t have the bandwidth to do it well right now. Our kids need more academically than I am able to give.

We are confident that God will make our kids’ educational needs clear in the coming months and years. So while we’re gratefully turning their academics over to the public school teachers, we’re still teaching them at home as God leads us to.

We hope you are too. No matter what educational route you’ve chosen for your family. :)

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How Can a Mom Take Care of Herself?

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This is the question I’ve been asking myself for the past thirty-twelve years. With all her other responsibilities, how can a mom take care of herself?

Here’s what I know to do to take care of myself:

  • Eat nourishing food
  • Drink water
  • Exercise
  • Take some time alone
  • Go to the chiropractor and/or to get a deep muscle massage as needed
  • Take time with the hubby
  • Get enough sleep every night

But right now, I look at that great self-care list – and then I look at my five kids under seven, my high schooler and his needs and his friends, my two college kids and their needs and their friends, my adult kid and his girl that I don’t see nearly as often as I’d like, my husband who is busier than ever right now with huge work responsibilities – and I launch into that freakish laugh-cry thing moms do when the thing is not at all funny, so it kinda hits you funny, and then you cry because it’s not funny but there you are, still laughing. Bless.

I know what to do so that I can take good care of myself. Yet in reality, I find it very difficult to pull off right now. But awww, would you just look at all these beauties:

Silly but true: sometimes I’m jealous.

How silly that I would ever be jealous of anyone else, seeing as I love my life as mom! But if I’m not careful, I can see what other adults around me are doing – super extravagant things like going to the bathroom alone or reading books without pictures – and I start to feel a tad bit jealous. “Must be nice,” thinks me. After all, I have very few chances to head to the bathroom without toddlers following me to pull down toilet paper and squirt hand soap into their hair while I pee.

They look so innocent when they aren’t in the bathroom with me.

Fun fact: when my husband needs to go to the chiropractor, he simply calls and makes an appointment.

But I’m not jealous of this, of course, because I’m a super sweet wife who is always super sweet. I am truly very happy for him to go to the chiropractor when he needs to go. Because I am super sweet.

So you must be wondering…can I actually not go to the chiropractor? Can I not read a big girl book? Is everyone around me living their lives in total freedom while I, the mom, languish at home alone – though never, ever actually alone – need I remind you of all who accompany me to the bathroom?

The truth is that I can do any of the things I need to do to take care of myself. But I sometimes feel like I have to move a mountain or three to make them happen…

This seems like the right time to talk about the cookies.

Do you know why a usually reasonable and rational mom might sometimes grab cookies or chips instead of eating the salad she knows she should eat? I think the reasons are two-fold:

1) Because cookies and chips are faster than salad. Faster food is important while striving to keep toddlers from emptying glitter bottles into their mouths or smearing oatmeal all over themselves. And…

2) Because the days can feel long and hard and a mom may feel a little bit deprived. This may lead her to think that a cookie will help her to feel better. Maybe it will bring a little joy in the form of a chocolate chip, you know?

It’s a temporary fix, and as we all know, chocolate doesn’t actually bring true joy. “Only Jesus brings joy, amen,” says the healthy mom. But shucks if she doesn’t try again tomorrow to let the fulfillment come from a Dorito.

You thought I was kidding about the oatmeal…

…and the glitter.

I love my life!

There’s nothing I want to do on earth more than to be these kids’ mom, to be my husband’s wife, to be my friends’ friend, and to live this full, abundant life God gave me. So I’m not complaining – not even a little bit. I’m just sharing a little bit of my current motherhood reality. Basically, I need to make a chiropractor appointment, and I can’t figure out how. That is all. Thanks for listening.

So How Can a Mom Take Care of Herself?

Beats me.

Just kidding.

Heh.

Twenty-three plus years into this gig, I’ve learned that motherhood-self-care takes some doing. It doesn’t just happen. It really does seem easier to reach for a cookie than to get out the carrots and hummus. But this leads to a mama feeling sluggish and depleted, so don’t get sucked in to thinking that the chocolate chips will help. (Now, coffee on the other hand…)

Advocate for yo-self, sista

I’ve found that I have to recognize where I’m lacking. Where I’m feeling depleted. And I have to advocate for myself.

Why does a mom have to advocate for herself? Is it because no one respects her or cares about her needs? Nope. I think it’s the opposite! I think we are highly respected by all! And I think moms are really good at momming! In fact, we’re so good at it that it’s possible that our husbands or friends (or even our very own selves) don’t always realize that we might be one toddler-filled pee-break away from a freakish laugh-cry break-down.

On the outside, I can look like I’m doing great. The kids are clean(ish). The house is – well, it hasn’t quite fallen down around us. There’s food on (but also under) the table. I always smile hugely and beautifully when hubby comes home at the end of the day. (He thinks I’m just happy to see him. Well, sure I am. But the truth is that I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM!!!!! Because he brought his arms home with him and now he can also hold one or two of the children.)

So moms? We have to advocate for ourselves. We have to recognize what we need and go ahead and move those mountains to make them happen.

Sometimes I don’t even know how to do this and therefore find it hard to reach out for help. This is not because I don’t like asking for help (being served by others is glorious!). But I’ve found that asking for help also takes effort. Effort that seems hard to come by when keeping everyone safe and happy until bedtime seems difficult enough each day.

But one or two texts sent out to friends? We can make that happen, right? We can say something like, “Hey, are you free to stay with the kids while I head to the chiro tomorrow morning?” See, that wasn’t so hard.

I think I may try this. I’ll let you know how it goes.

And how about you? Are you working to take care of yourself – even though it’s legitimately hard – though not impossible – to do?

When it comes to nourishment, you can do what I do and drink a salad every day. It goes down fast and easy and can be enjoyed even while children are hanging on your legs. They may even want to drink some too.

I don’t have much time to exercise right now (and winter doesn’t help) but I do run up and down the stairs carrying children or laundry baskets multiple times a day and I try to do some yoga-type stretches in the living room a few times each week. As soon as the weather is nice again, we’ll be doing what I call The-Best-Mom-Fitness-Program: loading kids up in strollers and bikes and taking long strolls which is super good for all the reasons – exercise, fresh air, sunshine, good conversation. But the best reason of all: IT WEARS THE KIDS OUT SO THEY TAKE BETTER AFTERNOON NAPS. This is for their own good. This is all I care about. The good of the kids. ;)

Let’s review and let’s do this!

  1. Moms, we need to take care of ourselves, on purpose, for a purpose, because we are fantastic and wonderful and so very loved by so very many.
  2. And speaking of love, I haven’t even mentioned God yet. Oh dear one, God loves us all so much. He wants so much good for us. He’s right there, daily providing for our every need, every minute.
  3. Ask for help. There is no “Way to go, you did it all alone!” trophy. Who would even want one of those? I’d rather have a daily “You made it through the day because of your awesome community!” sticker. Sign me up. I want this. I have this, praise God.
  4. Rest when you can. We really won’t be tired forever. I promise, because…
  5. This season will turn into a different season. I’ve done this before so I know that it’s true. Eventually, everyone will be able to wipe his or her own bottom – true story. Eventually, the kids can unload the dishwasher and do their own laundry and STAY HOME ALONE WHILE MOM GOES TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. I am so serious. This season is temporary and so very precious.
  6. See the good. I will never be that mom who says “enjoy them while they’re young because they grow up so fast yada yada blah blah” because I’ve been there and done that and I’m doing it again. WE MOMS ARE ENJOYING THEM WHILE THEY ARE YOUNG but we are also tired and covered in spit-up. Much of the day is hard, but much of the day is also oh-so-good. The sweet cheeks and squishy kisses, the way they say words wrong, the times they share with their sibling and giggle and have fun, the way they let us dress them in adorable outfits and don’t have opinions about their attire. I could go on and on. There is so much good in every day. God sees to that. Our job is to see what He sees to. <— Read that again. We can easily see all the good He provides when we are looking for it. It’s constant because He is God and He is good.

Motherhood-self-care looks different through the seasons. Eventually, it will actually be easier to do what we need to do for ourselves each day. But for today, let’s do what we can. Let’s drink the salad. Let’s make the stress-free simple meals. Let’s enjoy the fun books with pictures. Let’s take walks in the sunshine while pushing the stroller. Let’s have Jesus-discussions with our babes and be made aware all over again why Jesus called the children to him and told us to have hearts like them.

Let’s learn and grow from the place where we are. God provides. Always.

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P.S. I finished writing this article (thanks to babysitters, woohoo!), moved a few mountains (texted friends and asked for help), and I’m happy to report that I will be going to the chiropractor on Tuesday at 11:45.

P.P.S. Turns out, it wasn’t so hard to move that mountain so I moved a couple more. I’ll be getting my hair trimmed next Thursday at 1:00. And tomorrow afternoon I’m going to go see my therapist for a much-needed session in hopes of turning my currently too-frequent freakish laugh-cries into my more typical I-love-my-kids-so-much-laugh-cries.

P.P.P.S. Decided to send hubs a heart emoji and some words of encouragement because he works so many long, hard hours every day and still comes home with a smile and arms so willing to help his weary wife with the littles (and the bigs).

P.P.P.P.S. Your turn. Go move a mountain. You are so loved. :)

 

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Top 5 Birthday Budget Tips

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Ready to read Tasha’s Top 5 Birthday Budget Tips?

Can you have a great birthday on a budget?

Duh! Of course. Okay, but really, when your family is used to something and things and times are changing (like being stuck at home during a pandemic), how do you have a great birthday? Perhaps you’re starting a new budget that doesn’t include extravagant gifts, what do you do?

Peter is one

My youngest just turned one. (Yay!) We celebrated him ALL DAY. Peek-A-Boo was played as often as he wanted. We snuggled and snuggled and snuggled. We served pasta (his favorite) with Easy Chocolate Fudge Pie (his favorite). Lighting a birthday candle was a highlight. (He loved it, we blew it out and lit it multiple times). We gave high fives (his favorite) and Pound It! (his favorite), we sang Happy Birthday at least 20 times throughout the day. We danced with him (his favorite); the kids and I got down and crawled on the floor. We cheered and laughed and clapped when he took five steps! He is loved and he knows it.

Baby in bath

This is how much he loves homemade chocolate pie!

Oh, and did I mention, we didn’t buy him a thing. Not a single thing. It was a great example to my other kids how we can have birthdays without presents.

“He was one, so it doesn’t count,” you say.

What about the big/little kids?

Another turns eight this month, his day will look entirely different. He can play a mean game of Peek-A-Boo, but it’s not his favorite. He might notice if he doesn’t get any presents. For him, I’m thinking Lego challenges as a family (he will win because he’s amazing), a one-on-one donut (take out) date with Dad (his favorite), a walk around town just the two of us (his favorite), charades, crazy-silly LOUD dance party (his favorite), hide-and-seek (his favorite), tag, all the popcorn he could possibly eat (his favorite), a show, and a family slumber party in the living room (his absolute favorite).

Notice a favorite trend here?

We’ll talk in advance about some of our plans so he’ll know what to look forward to. His siblings and I will pick out one gift together, (new drawing pens and notebook) but we don’t want that to be the focus of the day.

Here are the top five things I’ve learned about money and stuff and birthdays.

1. Budget, Budget, Budget.

Fancy word for: Set aside. Take some money each payday specifically for buying gifts and throwing a party and set it aside. Budgeting doesn’t mean not spending money, it just means you know where your money is going. Budget whatever makes sense for your family. If you love to buy expensive gifts, that’s your choice! (And can I be your friend? I’m super into kitchen appliences and tennis shoes with super cute summer dresses. In case anyone was wondering.) Just make sure the money is there for it.

2. Kids are stronger than you think.

They don’t need stuff to be happy. (And neither do we, except for blentecs and robotic vacuum cleaners. *Ahem*)

My oldest was crushed after a hard conversation about what he wasn’t getting for Christmas. I felt terrible. The thing he wanted just wasn’t in the budget, it wasn’t something we wanted in the house, and it didn’t fit with what we were trying to make Christmas about. He was sad for half a day and he got over it. Whoop-De-Do.

Therefore, I give you permission to not feel guilty about not buying more stuff. Permission granted to feel wonderful about making great memories. You know your child better than anyone, let the day be about him, not about what you bought. Decide ahead of time something to do instead.

3. Plan ahead.

Talk about expectations of the day as a family well before the event. “We are going to celebrate you by…doing all these fun and awesome things that are your favorite… so there won’t be many wrapped up presents this year.”

Focus on what you will be doing, not what you’re not doing. What does she like to do with you? Can you spend the whole day just enjoying her? Brainstorm with the whole family ways to celebrate and make memories. This can be extravagant budgeted excursions or completely free. (Mamas, unless your man is really into planning things, I give you permission to plan your day and let your family know what you expect of them. Be Specific. If you want breakfast in bed, it might be a good idea to make it ahead of time and show your people where to find it. I recommend something good eaten cold, like this Straweberry Bread.)

4. Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions. (Luke 12:15)

Can I get an Amen!? I need a large poster with this verse. After living a few (many) years on a spending lockdown, when we finally had a bit of cash, I fell into the habit of buying all the things I thought I needed. Remember my Amazon addiction? I did the same for the kids. Suddenly because I could buy stuff, I did. And you know what? They weren’t any happier with the stuff than they were without it. More stuff doesn’t change our hearts and our relationships with others and our relationship with God. We know this, and yet we all fall into a consumerism trap from time to time.

5. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. (Luke 12:23)

Not to take this passage out of context, Jesus wasn’t talking about birthdays OR WAS HE? It totally relates! A child is more than a party, and the birthday more than presents. A present does not a birthday make. (Does everyone hate me yet?) Planning fun activities is more work than buying stuff. (It can be so. much. work.) Trust me, I know what it’s like to have zero energy to organize and throw a party. Sleeping through the night is a luxury these days. Homeschooling little ones who can’t even read?! You’re 5 already, get with the program! (Kidding. I’m kidding.) Whew. I do have to keep this house from falling apart, too. Laundry and dishes and sweeping. Sometimes we even mop! (You know, when somebody brakes a glass full of milk.) How am I supposed to plan a party for a bunch of 3-year-olds?!?

And then I am reminded that life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Being happy is better than being perfect. Last December, my 7 year old was SO FOCUSED on what HE was going to GET, that he could hardly enjoy anything else about Christmas. We are making some changes in our house this year and not because we can’t financially afford to buy presents.

I still want birthdays to be something special.

Truthfully, I used to worry about birthdays because I wanted them to be special and wonderful, but I couldn’t afford to buy nice things. Now that we’ve paid off a bunch of debt, we can afford stuff and I realize we don’t need ‘em. Most of the time I don’t even want it! (Correction. I want new shoes. Shoes are great. I bought three pairs this month and I’m ecstatic. First new shoes I’ve had in 18 months. Somebody send help!) More stuff is often more mess and therefore more work. Then we have to spend even more time clearing out our junk and decluttering.

If you are a Heavenly Homemakers Club member, Laura has put together so many great ideas for celebrating your people. Look under FAMILY TIPS and browse her ideas that make sense for your family. Trip ideas, experience ideas, party ideas. You don’t have to come up with a plan for your family all on your own. Much of the work has been done for you!

I challenge you to find ways to really celebrate and love your people individually. You get to decide what that means. You can spend lots of money, or none of it, but in my experience, I have found the price tag doesn’t correlate with the success of the day.

Answer in the comments: What do you like about the way you celebrate? What would you like to do differently? Do you have a favorite childhood birthday memory?

tashaTasha, friend of Laura, and fellow homeschooling mama, lives in the middle of America and does her best to keep the floors clean. Hahaha. Her kids are currently one, three, five, and seven. When she’s not writing for Laura she can be found on Instagram @heavenlyhomemaker, sneaking Jalapeno Cheetos, painting with her kids, pretending she likes to garden, and watching Star Wars with her husband.

 

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Our Kindergarten Through College Curriculum Plan for 2019

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Every year it’s fun to talk through upcoming school plans! We’ve got our hands full this year with a kindergartener, a 9th grader, a 12th grader, and one in college. (We’ve got a college graduate and a baby boy too, but woohoo, they aren’t studying for tests this year. Our graduate is beyond happy about this.) Here’s our kindergarten through college curriculum plan for 2019!

Our Kindergarten through College Curriculum Plan

Bonus Boy and I have already started several of his books, simply because he was excited and he likes to stay busy. Who am I to argue with someone who wants to have a reading lesson? Meanwhile, our high schoolers are trying not to think about school starting yet. I don’t blame them. Summer break is bliss.

Here’s the rundown of our curriculum plan!

Bonus Boy, grade K:

  1. We will be using our Learn to Serve Complete Curriculum Package as a primary focus. Serve and learn, learn and serve!
  2. We’ll work our way through at least the beginning of Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. (Once he gets the gist of reading, we’ll move on to Bob Books and other easy readers.) (Oh, I just ordered these – SO CUTE!!)
  3. We’ll follow many of (but not all of) Sonlight’s kindergarten suggestions for Read-Alouds, History, and Science.
  4. We’ll use the fantastic downloads we got last spring during the Build Your Bundle Sale. (*SEE NOTE BELOW!!)
  5. We’ll use Explode the Code, Italic Handwriting, and Miquon Math workbooks.
  6. We’ll use several of the curriculum packets I’ve created to meet his specific needs. I’ll share more about these soon!
  7. He’ll receive speech and language services from our public school once each week. I am SO GRATEFUL that they are so supportive of our plan to homeschool while still working with him to improve his speech and language skills. I’ll be a part of these sessions so that we can be more aware of what we’ll need to continue working on at home with him.
  8. We’ll read, read, read, read, and read! Library here we come!
  9. We’ll play, play, play! This boy loves to be on the go, explore, and be with friends. Never a dull moment, we’ll be involved in many activities that keep him interacting and active!

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*The Build Your Bundle folks are offering a flash sale today through noon on Thursday, August 8! Look through all the digital curriculum offered at up to 92% off and take advantage of this surprise offer. Bonus Boy and I are LOVING all we bought from this sale a few weeks ago. These books are all wonderful supplements to our regular curriculum!

Build Your Bundle - The Biggest Homeschool Curriculum Sale of the Year

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Malachi, grade 9:

  1. He will be taking Chamber Singers (choir) and Strength Training (weight lifting) at our public high school so that he will qualify to play tennis and soccer with the public school team.
  2. He will finish Teaching Textbooks Algebra 1 and begin Algebra 2.
  3. He will work on Wordly Wise and Grammar books, and read many of Sonlight’s suggested English and Literature options for 9th grade.
  4. We will read and work through Apologia Physical Science together.
  5. We will read through many of Sonlight’s Church History suggestions.
  6. He and Bonus Boy will work through Travel the World, Experience the Creator together (with Malachi doing the entire book and Bonus Boy only doing the parts he is ready for).

I’ll share in more detail soon, but check out one of our newest curriculum creations!

Elias, grade 12:

Boy #3 has become a senior this year! I’d say I blinked and here we are. But yeah right. We worked hard and here we are. Heh. :)

Elias is mostly finished with his regular high school credits, so he’ll be doing mostly college-level work this year.

  1. He will be taking Chamber Singers (choir) and Strength Training (weight lifting) at our public high school so that he will qualify to play soccer with the public school team.
  2. He will be taking classes at York College: College Algebra, College Speech, College Intro to Business, College American History, and one other college class to be determined. These will be divided between two semesters and will give him both high school and college credits.
  3. At the end of this year, Elias will graduate from high school with 30 college credits (he started taking college-level classes as a high school sophomore) so he will begin college next year as a college sophomore!

In case you’re wondering about our other boys…

Asa graduated from college in May and is working toward a full-time career in Videography. He is incredibly gifted in this field and has used his summer to work on several video projects for clients.

Justus is starting his second year at York College (though technically now he is a college junior). He is pursuing a degree in Vocal Performance and wants to have a career in Music Production. He is in choir, student government, and helps with the men’s soccer team.

And because he shouldn’t be left out, our foster Boy Babe is 8 months old and learning how to stay away from the stairs and electrical outlets. He gets an extraordinary amount kisses from the seven of us every day, so we’re pretty sure that’s why he’s so roly-poly.

I’d love to hear more about your upcoming school plans (public, private, or homeschool)! And stay tuned because we have some fun curriculum creations we’re about to reveal. Psst, some are FREE!

 

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Help Your Kids Learn to Obey and Be Kind (Awesome parenting freebie!!)

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While we wish it just came naturally, we realize that we have to help kids learn to obey and be kind. Then we have to remind them, and remind them some more.

It’s a battle we all face, right? The battle to overcome selfishness, bad attitudes, and complaining hearts. I find in my own life that I have to rely on the Holy Spirit constantly so that I don’t live in the flesh but by the Spirit. Gently leading our kids to do the same can be quite a challenge.

Long, long ago when our first set of kids looked something like this…

boys_costumes

…Matt and I found that we didn’t want to simply tell our kids to “be nice” or “do what I say.” We wanted our instruction to come from the heart of Jesus so that they learned that we didn’t just want them to “be good” and “do the right thing.” What was the reason? Where does our kindness come from? Why choose to talk nicely?

We found it amazing to discover how many scriptures spoke directly to all of us (parents and kids alike!) when it came to helping our kids learn how to obey and to be kind.

Our older four boys are either teens or adults and now God has blessed us with more boys to train and teach.

This guy is 5, so we’ve been pulling from our old bag of tricks. I’ve gotta say, having some experience under our belts sure has been nice this go ’round. We’re pulling out what we loved and what worked, and here’s our latest (which we are giving to you for free because sweet, obedient children make us happy!).

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These Character Charts WORK!

We used these for years when our kids were little, using scripture to help them remember to obey, to talk nicely, and to be selfless. It’s amazing how something as simple as “You sure are shining like a star right now. Go put a sticker on your chart!” means to a kid.

We started using this recently with our 5-year old and he actually beams like a star when we tell him to put a sticker on his chart to reward his good behavior. It is so great to not just affirm him but to use scripture while doing it.

 

There are five full sets of printable character charts and cut-out stickers in this collection, each with a Bible lesson you can use as you introduce it to and use with your kids.

  1. Shine Like Stars – from Philippians 2:14-16
  2. Fruit of the Spirit – from Galatians 5:22-25
  3. Walk in the Light – from 1 John 1:7
  4. Be Imitators of God – from Ephesians 5:1-2
  5. Treasures in Your Heart – from Matthew 6:19-21

You can download and use this collection in any way that works best for your family’s character and Biblical training!

My big and tall kids all look back at their beloved Character Chart days with fond memories (which is always fun for me to hear!). The charts use Biblical truth in a very simple and practical way so that God’s truth becomes your child’s truth.

Get your Character Chart package for free below, and check out the bonus offer we’re excited to announce!

Special Offer for You!

While the cut-out “stickers” have worked fine, we really, really wanted to be able to use actual stickers! Cutting these little shapes and gluing them onto a chart is kind of a hassle. Soooo, I asked Char, a dear friend and designer to turn the stickers cut-outs into actual stickers. So she DID!

Using these stickers with Bonus Boy is SO MUCH BETTER than the old way! The pages in this sticker package are loaded with stickers – 540 to be exact. So these will go a long way and make the Character Chart training so much more fun and definitely easier!

You’ll find the entire set of Character Chart Stickers here, and guess what else? She gave us all an $8.00 coupon to click on! That’s a huge discount because she loves us. :) Plus she’s offering free shipping, so hey, now who’s shining like a star and displaying the fruit of the Spirit? I think Char deserves a sticker. ;)

But seriously though, you will want these stickers to go with your charts, and your charts are FREE so all children everywhere are going to be Imi-tators of God before we know it. (Bet you were wondering what those potato stickers were all about. Catch your kid imitating Christ? He or she is an imi-tator, get it? You’re a tator, I’m a tator, wouldn’t you like to be a tator. It brings all sorts of fun to Ephesians 5.)

Get your Character Charts!

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Get the stickers to go with them with an $8.00 off coupon (incredible) and free shipping.

Enjoy teaching your kids through scripture and fun!

This freebie offer is good through Friday, August 9. Hurry and get started!

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How Homeschooling is Exactly Like Summer Break (Hear Me Out!)

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I’m about to tell you how homeschooling is exactly like summer break. I promise I’m not crazy (well…) so hear me out! After you’ve read this, then I’d love for you to weigh in and tell me what you think!

Our family is about to launch into our 17th year of homeschooling. As you can imagine, we have heard many comments and questions about our choice to go against the norm of “regular schooling.” Most people are very supportive and kind! But in general, if a person is unfamiliar with homeschooling, they might say statements that make it very clear that there is a lot of confusion about what homeschooling actually is.

Here are some of our favorite comments:

  • “You homeschool?! I can’t even tell!” (Apparently, we still look like actual people.)
  • “What grade are you in?” (I’m an eighth grader.) “Ok, but what grade would you be in if you actually went to school?” (I’m an eighth grader.)
  • “But aren’t you worried about socialization?” (Don’t worry. We all call and talk to Grandma once a week.)

Ah, homeschoolers and socialization…

I used to become defensive and even angry about how often homeschoolers and socialization get brought up in worried conversation by well-meaning people. But now I realize that people can’t help knowing what they don’t know. After all, I don’t know what I don’t know, do you? (Huh?)

Homeschooling is unfamiliar territory to many. So it seems that often people assume that those who homeschool: always stay at home, do all things at home, never leave the home, and don’t really know how to function outside of the home. And also, we have no friends.

{Here is proof that one day when our kids were little,
we unlocked the door and let them outside.
Then we met some friends at the park for lunch.
The kids haven’t been outside since that day, of course,
because we homeschool and that means that we are always at home.}

Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone. Each homeschool family goes about life, education, and socialization just a bit differently. (Hold on. Each public/private school family goes about life, education, and socialization just a bit differently too. Can it be?!)

But allow me to share for a few moments about the social life of our family of homeschoolers. And as we all head into summer break, here are my thoughts on how homeschooling and summer break are much the same. Hear me out. I think my thoughts make sense!

Some call it “jumping on the trampoline.”
We call it “recess.” Or if we’re feeling extra homeschooly, “Physical Education.”
But usually, we just call it “jumping on the trampoline.”

How Homeschooling is Exactly Like Summer Break

Let’s go back to the fears people have about homeschooled kids not being at school all day, and therefore not being with people all day, or ever. Are you there in your mind? Are you picturing the pale, lonely children?

And now allow me to ask this: Why do people not have the same exact fears about kids being out of public/private school all summer long during break? “Oh no! The kids are not going to be in school for three entire months this summer! What will they do about socialization?!”

Said no one ever.

No one. Not one person is thinking or saying that. And do you know why? Because everyone knows that kids who are home from school during summer break are not just sitting at home day after day, night after night, all alone, doing nothing, and seeing no one.

Instead, what do kids and families do during summer break?

They go swimming with friends. They travel and see cool parts of the country and do things they may or may not have experienced before. They go to camps. They hang out at friend’s houses. They invite people over to hang out at their house. They go visit extended family. They celebrate special holidays. They work on exciting projects at home. They take part in the summer library programs. They take advantage of other special summer programs and activities their town offers. They have cook-outs with friends, and playdates with friends, and when all is said and done, they have been spending so much time with people that every once in a while, they need to take a day off to have a little break from being with so many people. It is, after all, summer break.

And this, my friends, is exactly what a homeschooler’s life is like during the school year. (Except for the swimming part. Because of the winter and the snow.)

What does my homeschooling family do all throughout the school year?

Well, indeed, we sit at home and do our school work. We do algebra and history and English and science and all the rest, just like a public school kid sits in a classroom quietly doing school work. But if we are disciplined and work hard, our school work only takes a few hours each day. So what else do we do?

We hang out with friends, at our house or at their house or at a park or at an event. We meet with other homeschoolers for special science presentation days, or for P.E. or for any number of educational activities. We go on field trips with other families.

We visit our elderly or disabled friends, helping them with jobs they are unable to do. We host or go to church activities and events, worship services, and youth group outings. We volunteer at the homeless shelter, visiting with them and feeding them meals.

We go to soccer or basketball practice, depending on the season, and sometimes spend entire weekends at tournaments with our kids’ teammates and their families. We discover the hobbies we love, and we spend hours creating and developing our talents. We invite friends to do this with us, because that makes it all more fun.

We learn necessary life skills like how to cook, how to budget, how to clean a toilet, how to shop wisely and save money, and how to make a deposit at the bank.

We have prom, jobs, ministries, and musicals. We have friends our own age, friends who are older, friends who are younger, friends who are a lot like us, and friends who are much different. We are friends with homeschoolers, public schoolers, and private schoolers. We have friends all over the state and in many other states (most of whom we’ve met at summer church camps).

We are often so busy being social, we have to intentionally set aside time to actually…

Stay home and do our school work.

True story.

So see? Homeschooling is exactly like summer break. (Except for the break part, ha!)

Just like most kids and families make all kinds of social plans and enjoy many outings during a summer break, so do most homeschooled kids and families during the school year.

No one worries about a kid “getting socialized” during their summer break away from school – because kids don’t just stay home and do nothing during summer break! In the same way, my homeschooled kids have more friends and activities and outings than I can even keep up with all year long!

What do you think? Obviously, summer break and homeschooling is not an apples-to-apples comparison!! I just wanted to have a little bit of fun explaining some similarities and logic behind why fearing for the social lives of a homeschooler is entirely unnecessary.

Now, if we could figure out how to make homeschooling actually as easy as lazing around in the sunshine on a hot summer day, that would be great. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you are a homeschool family:

Or even if you’re not. :)

Time is running out on this gigantic special offer. So hurry over to grab all the hugely discounted digital books for your family! Offer ends May 22.

I stock up every year on the latest and greatest for my family’s school needs. After all, since we’re home ALL DAY LONG, never being social, we need all the school work we can get. ;)

Build Your Bundle - The Biggest Homeschool Curriculum Sale of the Year

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Stop Telling Moms of Little Ones to “Enjoy Them While They’re Young!”

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“They grow up so fast! Enjoy them while they’re young!” Yeah, we know. We all know. It’s so true! And yet, I believe it’s time to stop saying this to moms of little ones…

I get it. Oh, how I get it. Once our kids grow up, have a mind of their own, start doing big things, can no longer crawl into our laps, and have problems much bigger than those which can be solved with a kiss on the forehead – we older moms find it easy to look back at the little years with longing. We look at pictures of our kids with their pudgy fingers, wearing the matching outfits we selected for them to wear – and we wonder where the years have gone.

We see that our grown-up kids are taking hard classes, going to prom, and graduating from college and we can’t believe how fast time went. So we look at the mom with babies in her arms and toddlers in her lap and we try to encourage her with, “Enjoy them while they’re young. They grow up so fast!”

Oh, it is true. They do grow up fast!

But today, as I find myself in a season that involves a double portion – that of marveling at my adult and teen children while taking on the task of raising a 5-year old Bonus Boy and fostering a precious 5-month old Boy Babe – I find myself realizing the full truth:

This is hard.

It’s good and it’s marvelous and it’s incredible, but it’s hard.

You can look at my precious new littles, then look up at me and say, “Oh Laura! They are so sweet! Enjoy them while they’re young!” and I will emphatically nod and tell you, “Oh yes! I am!!” I am enjoying our little ones an incredible deal – because of all of the sweetness and cuteness and fun! I am enjoying them so much!

But do you know what else I would enjoy right now?

Sleeping.

Taking a shower.

Eating when I’m hungry.

Drinking my coffee while it is still hot.

Having a full conversation with my husband (that isn’t about the last time the baby pooped).

Not having to stop what I’m doing every three minutes to discipline and train our 5-year old to learn obedience.

Moms of Bigs, do you remember all that was involved in taking care of your little ones? Do you really remember? Oh, there is so much joy in the little years!! But there’s also a lot of poop and puke, tantrums and tattling – along with a never-ending list of work to do that you know you’ll never get around to because little ones require so much attention and care.

These are hard (and good) years, just as raising big kids is hard (and good).

What if older moms stop telling young moms to “enjoy them while they’re young,” and start saying this instead:

“How can I help you enjoy your little ones?”

Think about this.

Moms of Bigs – you no longer have to wipe bottoms, buckle seatbelts, have irrational conversations about broken cookies, or help all the shoes get onto all the right feet. You are, no doubt, in a season of challenge that involves running around like crazy with busy activity schedules, guiding your kids while they make weighty decisions, and then helping them with Geometry after 10:00 pm (Jesus, be near). This is all full of hardship and exhaustion – no doubt about it! But the truth is that even through these challenging days: YOU CAN ACTUALLY GO PEE WHENEVER YOU WANT.

I know this because just a year ago, I was there. With kids who were then 20, 18, 16, and 13 – I thought I was busy, because I absolutely was. Then God put babies on my doorstep and in my arms. Now I’ve got all those big kids plus a pre-schooler and an infant. It’s both fabulous and difficult, beautiful and challenging. I love what God is teaching me through this new gift and calling!

But – some of the days are hard to enjoy. “Enjoy them while they’re young!” I’m trying! But I am also tired.

Here’s what helps me get through these challenging days:

  • When my friends bring over a batch of muffins or waffles for my family to grab and eat quickly for breakfast.
  • When they come to hold the baby while I take a nap.
  • When they grab the 5-year old for some special play time.
  • When they give my big kids rides so I don’t have to load up little ones into car seats.
  • When they grab the baby at my big kids’ soccer game so I can cheer with my arms free.
  • When they drop off a lasagna for me to slide into the oven on a busy day.
  • When they hug me and tell me that I’m doing a good job.

Stop simply telling moms of little ones to “enjoy them while they’re young.” That encouragement falls flat in the ears of a tired mama. AND, it makes them feel guilty for not enjoying the puke-filled, sleepless nights that are apparently – fleeting? Yeah, we’re sorry. Nothing feels fleeting at 3:00 am.

Instead, consider doing what you can do to help young moms enjoy these challenging years. Let your big kids help you with this. It’s a win-win!

What you should say to moms of little ones:

Don’t tell them to “enjoy them while they’re young!” Instead, do what you can to help them enjoy these years! Here are some better options every mom of littles actually wants to hear!

  • Can I come take your kids to the park for an hour?
  • I see what you’re doing, and you are rocking it! Good job, Mama!
  • What night can I bring your family dinner this week?
  • Your kids are so sweet – great work!
  • I’d like to come watch your kids so you can have a date night. What night works for you?
  • Can I stop by today and bring you a coffee?
  • What size diapers is your baby in? I’ll grab you a package!

This is just a small list, and no doubt, God will fill in the gaps and put on your heart what YOU can do for your friends with little ones. But do consider how you can be a blessing to the weary mamas who are in the snot-filled, wet wipe, dirty-dish-piled trenches. Those days are hard, and those mamas need our real encouragement.

Then, guess what? Those moms really can enjoy them while they’re young! Because it takes a village, and moms with their big kids can be a part of that village!

Moms of big kids? You hang in there too. I know these days are fabulous and exhausting too – because I’m right there with you.

Whether your kids are big or little – or a beautiful mixture of both – we can stand together in encouragement. We can tell each other the truth – that God is carrying us through each day – that He is our provider – that He is with us constantly as we raise our kids.

Be encouraged, Mama! God is with you, and He is good! Because of this, we CAN enjoy every day with our kids.

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The BEST Way I’ve Found to Help a Kid Sit Quietly Through a Sermon!

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Where was this idea when we were training our “first set of kids?” Gather ’round. I have discovered the BEST way to help a kid sit quietly through a sermon.

But first let’s back up. “First set of kids?” I’ve mentioned our huge life changes here and there, but in case you missed it, allow me to explain again.

Our big kids are currently 21, 19, 17, and 14. Just as we began counting down the years toward empty nesting, God surprised us by moving a 4-year old into our home in April, 2018.

He’s 5 now, and is officially becoming a Coppinger this month. We continue to learn daily that our God is sovereign, that His ways are bigger than ours, and of course, His ways are better.

And with that, I shall show you a better way to quietly and peacefully get your child through a sermon.

The BEST Way to Help a Kid Sit Quietly Through a Sermon

Friends, I’m not trying to brag, but I have discovered the art of making a cheese stick last 25 entire minutes. Indeed. Bonus Boy loves to sing all the songs at church. But come sermon time, it’s harder to sit still, of course.

One particular Sunday early in our days with BB, I happened to have a cheese stick in my purse. I pulled it out, and ever so slowly began pulling off “strings” and handing them to him to eat. Did I mention that I began pulling off the strings slowwwwwlllllyyyyy? And thus, before I knew it, the cheese stick lasted through an entire sermon!

It’s magic. Unless you don’t want your kids to get into a habit of eating a snack during the sermon. Then this is a terrible idea for you. For us and for Bonus Boy, it’s magic.

There are cheese stick rules, of course. BB is allowed to open the package and pull out the cheese, but at that point, the cheese stick goes to either Matt or to me. The adults are completely in charge of the cheese and the strings. Bonus Boy must sit quietly and wait patiently for us to hand him each new string of cheese. There is no grabbing. There are no large strings. This is the only way it will last through an entire sermon.

Seriously. A cheese stick. Lasting for a beautiful 25 or 30 minutes. And a kid. Sitting quietly. For 25 or 30 minutes. It’s like a miracle happens every Sunday morning in the church pew.

Oh, and meanwhile, Bonus Boy is listening to the sermon, he just doesn’t know that he is. Long live the cheese stick.

As an even bigger bonus, I don’t have to lug a heavy bag of books or other quiet activities to use as sermon ammunition. I grab a cheese stick, throw it into my purse, we go to church. Amen and hallelujah.

What have you found to be helpful as you train your little ones to sit quietly and listen during church?

 

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Want to Stop Worrying About Your Kids?

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Do you struggle with worry over your kids’ future? Their choices, their godliness, and all of the thousands of what-ifs?

There’s no worry like mom-worry. It can suck the life out of us, making us lose the joy we should have as we raise our kids with and through the Lord.

Today I wanted to remind you of the big coupon code we’re offering (through this weekend only!) for our Prayer Mugs Journal. I wrote this downloadable book as God was teaching me to let go of fear about my kids and to give them fully over to His care.

The enemy still tempts me to fall back on fear. (Hello, I’m raising teenagers in a dark world. Nothing about this is easy.)

But the truth I share in The Prayer Mugs is what has helped me to keep taking my heart, mind, and thoughts back to the Father. I continue to surrender my kids’ lives and hearts to Him. The peace that fills me as I remember that I can have confidence in God’s work in and for them is incredible!

Not only will you love the scripture truth shared in this book, you’ll love the concept of how grabbing my mug first thing in the morning and praying for my kids right away has completely changed my life. You’ll love sharing this concept with your kids, so that when they see you drinking from “their special mug” they’ll know you’re praying specifically for them!

Prayer for our kids is the best gift we can give them. Accepting peace from the Father, knowing that He is caring for our kids, is the best gift we can give ourselves.

I wrote The Prayer Mugs Prayer Journal last year in honor of my firstborn turning 20 last year. Believe it or not, an entire year has gone by and that boy turned 21 this week! This weekend only, use the code TWENTYONE to get an $8 discount in honor of his birthday!!

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The Importance of One-on-One Time With Your Kids

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One-on-one time with your kids? What’s that??

First let me say that I’ve learned that finding one-on-one time with my spouse during these intense parenting years is even more important than finding individual time with my kids. Both are needed, of course. But we are better parents when we’ve set our marriage on a firm foundation, together, on purpose.

So here we are, my husband and me, juggling lots of kids and lots of life and lots of God’s goodness. God has been teaching us how to truly “love our neighbor,” which has provided countless, beautiful opportunities to serve people while striving to keep in step with the Spirit and seek the will of God. Our kids join us in these endeavors and hmm, did I mention that we homeschool? We also work for a living. Details, details.

Instead of saying, “We are SO BUSY!” we like to say, “We live a full, blessed life!” God is perfectly good and faithful. I can’t stop being overjoyed about His provision in our lives.

In the midst of it all, we have two adult sons in college and two teens still living at home. There’s a lot of coming and going and going and coming. (I’m talking about both food and schedules, of course, as it all comes and goes at a rapid rate at our house.)

So one-on-one time with our kids?

How is it even possible? Why is it actually necessary?

I’ve been privileged to be with my kids for many hours of the day for their entire lives, thanks to the blessing of homeschooling and working from home. But even with that, it’s very easy to let busyness create a disconnect. Our schedules can be so hectic that sometimes we look back and realize we haven’t sat down as a family to eat a meal at the table together for over two weeks. Or maybe we have, but we’ve had guests and while that’s a beautiful thing, we still must take a few steps back in order to regroup and check in with one another.

One-on-one time with our kids? It’s a special zone. It’s extra comfortable. It’s relaxed. Fun.

It’s the place where no one has to wait their turn, share the attention, vie for position, or talk louder in an effort to be heard. Learning to share space is necessary for building character and preparing for a life of unselfish living. But sometimes, it’s truly good to be able to look one another in the eye and be heard without a, “Hold on, I’ll get to you as soon as I can.”

I’ve found that my relationship with each of my sons is better because of one-on-one time we’ve been able to eek out through the years. When they were little, it meant going out on special dates once every few months.

Sometimes it meant kicking everyone else out of the kitchen so we could bake something special together. After all, there’s no need to spend extra money – just extra time.

Sometimes it meant that only one boy got to go grocery shopping with me that day.


It always meant precious conversation. Undivided attention. A re-connection that couldn’t always happen in a house full of flying nerf bullets and full calendars.

As our lives evolve and our children launch, I’m more convinced than ever that being available for our kids and being open to one-on-one conversation produces rich and safe relationships.

So we’ll grab a cup of coffee together every chance we get, even if it’s in a chipped mug at our own crumb-covered table. This mom needs it and I’m pretty sure my long-legged sons do too.

Here’s to rich, precious, God-filled one-on-one moments with our kids, no matter their age, no matter our season.

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