I hear far too often from people who struggle to say “yes” to offers of help. Most definitely they don’t ever want to have to ask for help. I’ve struggled with the same, and today I want to share what God has been teaching me about why we should say “yes” to offers of help.
It’s a beautiful thing when God takes you on a journey that is too difficult to walk alone. Beautiful, you ask? To walk a difficult journey? Yes. Because it is while trudging through that difficult journey that we meet Him more fully. That is where we get to know His power. That’s where we learn how much we need Him and can’t live life without Him. That’s where we learn full surrender of self.
And while we are there, that is where He teaches us that we need His people. While God leads us down the challenging path, He is simultaneously telling others, through the power of the Holy Spirit, exactly what to do for us and say to us.
So reason #1 to say “yes” to offers of help:
You don’t want to miss out on the powerful work of the Holy Spirit on your behalf through others!
I cannot begin to express the joy we have experienced through our unexpected foster care and adoption journey when we have received direct blessings of the Holy Spirit through the hands of others.
As glorious as this journey has been, it has also been filled with many incredible difficulties. When we’ve cried out for God to meet a specific need, and then someone shows up, in obedience to God’s call, and meets that specific need? It is mind-blowingly beautiful. When we’ve had a need that we weren’t even able to put into words, then God works through His Spirit to meet the need He knows we have? It’s awe-inspiring. Truly powerful and humbling.
If God puts it on someone’s heart to reach out and serve us, but we pridefully say, “No. I’m okay. Thanks anyway,” we are ultimately saying, “No thanks, God. I don’t want or need your help. I can do this without you.”
Stop it. No you can’t. I know I certainly can’t. We absolutely need God and we absolutely need the help of His people.
This leads me to reason #2 we need to say “yes” to offers of help:
We are called to live a life of humility.
Pride is the ugly demon that makes us think we don’t need or shouldn’t want help. Pride tells us we can do it ourselves, alone. Pride tells us we need to be strong enough. Pride tells us we are admitting weakness if we say “yes.”
The truth is that we are showing great strength when we say “yes” to offers of help. When we deny ourselves, cast off sinful pride, and receive help with open arms, we are allowing God’s strength to be ours.
What if we chose to die to ourselves and let God be fully at work? What do we have to lose? Self. What do we have to gain? All that God has to offer!
And reason #3 to say “yes” to offers of help:
Because…we need it. We. Need. Help.
Don’t say you don’t, because you do. I do. We all do.
WE CANNOT DO THIS LIFE ALONE.
We need Jesus. We need each other. When others step in to take the baby, entertain the 5-year old, give a ride to the 14-year old, offer guidance and support to the 17-year old, hug me and let the tears fall (again), or do any number of the incredible acts of service God has put on their heart to do – I am overcome with gratitude and filled with relief, because of the lifted and shared burden of all that life on this earth tends to bring. There is no big act of service or small act of service. When someone serves according to the way God calls them to serve – IT IS ALL BIG.
When I joyfully accept every offer of help – I am experiencing God’s perfectly planned provision for my life and for my family. I’m not sure there anything more delightful than this. Why would I ever want to say “no” to this?!
Can I afford diapers? Yes. Can I hold the baby by myself during an entire church service? Sure. Can I load up the Littles and chauffer my teens to all their events? It is possible. Can I take the Littles to all of the Big’s events, all by myself? With a stash of cheese sticks and juice boxes, you bet. Can I put on my big girl pants and pull myself up by my bootstraps and do all the things all of the time? That’s what I’d like to tell myself.
But no. I can’t. Not all of the time, and neither can you.
We want to think that we can because when it really comes down to it, we can all work until we become raw and bloody while never asking for help. As if it’s honorable to be miserable. As if suffering for the sake of pride earns us a sparkly star on a chart.
This is all rubbish.
Start saying “yes” to offers of help.
And while you’re at it, confidently ask for help too.
Do it without apology. Do not be sorry for needing help or for receiving the gift of experiencing God at work in your life and the lives of others.
Say “yes” to offers of help.
You will experience God in ways you never have before. You will get to know your friends and neighbors and church family in ways that will amaze you. You will see God at work in how He has gifted people so that when you cheerfully say, “Hey, thank you so much for your help!!” they will say, “Sure, no problem!” because it will be true! When God is in it, it isn’t a problem.
The time to say “yes” is now.
Don’t cop out with “I’m not sure, this is a hard one for me” or “Oh well, I’ll keep working on it.”
It isn’t about you, and your work has nothing to do with this. Stop right now and ask God to show you how to say “yes” to offers of help.
Then let Him. Let Him be at work in your heart to show you the beauty of saying “yes” to help and of reaching out to ask for help when you need it. He is faithful! He will show you exactly what to do, exactly who to ask, and even when you don’t know what to ask, He will provide it anyway.
When He does, say “yes!”
Then watch and see all the goodness He will show you through your “yes.” Life as a body of believers is about to become more beautiful.
Thank you Laura. I think you wrote this just for me :)
I am not good at admitting that I can’t do all of the things, all of the time, without my husband. With so many kind offers of help around, I am still finding it hard to ask and accept.
Pride is a difficult thing to swallow indeed.
I have never asked for help but when my husband was dying from a rare brain tumor, my brother had kidney cancer and my son needed brain surgery, I had a group of women who helped me with meals. What a blessing that was with all of the doctor appointments for all three in 10 months time. It was the hardest year of my life. I don’t know how I would have made it without them.
Thank you!! This is something alot of us need to be reminded of!! I remember when I was resisting help and the helper said * do you want to rob me of my blessing!!!*. That humbled me and made me look at it from other perspectives <3!!! Lord bless you