Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

Word of the Year 2026

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Word of the year 2026? Here we go.

I don’t always jump on this bandwagon, as is evidenced by the fact that I don’t think I’ve ever shared a Word of the Year here. God and I do tend to focus on themes though, and I can see that as I look back on the past decade as He’s grown my understanding of His power, grown our family, and grown my need for Him.

As 2025 wrapped up, I was made very much aware of a focal point for the past 12 months we just walked through. It was a full year in ways I didn’t expect, but a year that provided us with so much of what we’d been begging God to provide.

Answers

I declared Answers to be my word of 2025, and yeah, I landed there in the twelfth month of the 2025 because I’m not normal. But we all already knew this.

As I reflected on all the answers God has provided for us during a somewhat grueling 2025, I simultaneously recognized what would be a needed theme for 2026. It’s not a pretty word or one that makes sense for most. But it’s what I need, and I trust God will provide it.

Word of the Year 2026

God made it very clear at the start of 2025 that I would not be able to do all of the advocating, appointment making, and assessment taking without setting aside pretty much everything else, including down time. Finding doctors, setting up and executing appointments, filling out questionnaires, assessments, and paperwork, starting new therapies, working with the schools to settle in our kids and revamp IEPs and 504 Plans, welcoming ABA therapists into our home – it has taken an extreme level of energy and such a large chunk of time every day that it has been all consuming.

The reality is that the advocating will never end. The appointments won’t stop. Therapy is really just beginning. Our kids’ needs are huge. So I’m not deceiving myself into thinking, “Oh yay, 2025 is over and 2026 will be so much easier.” HAHAHA. That’s not true for any one of us. At our house, the work load we face daily is incredibly intense.

But within all of this, what does need to happen for my heart, my body, my mind, and my spirit is a time of recovery.

The work it took to get our kids to this point has been more than a full time job. I am very tired. Tired in a way that is hard to explain and is not sustainable.

I’m not worried, nor should you be. I’m ok because God is faithful. He led us to this specific Kingdom work and He hasn’t abandoned us. Quite the opposite – He is so beautifully in this.

But my goal for the upcoming months is to continue to do all that I need to do for my family while also finding more ways to rest, breathe, sit, sleep, relax, and be at peace. So my Word of the Year 2026 is:

Recover

Is this even possible?

Yes, with God, it is. Of course it is. Here’s what He’s already doing for us…

  • We’re establishing Mondays as a recovery day of sorts when our friend Emma comes over for several hours to help with the kids who aren’t in school yet.
  • We’ve already set aside appointment-free and work-free Friday afternoons so that Matt and I can spend time in the quiet together before the kids come home from school.
  • Our Sundays are the most beautiful and life-giving days of each week when we worship with our family, host a lunch in our home with dear friends, and sit with our community group to sharpen and grow each other. It’s hard to explain how this is truly recovery time for us when it is so people-filled and while we are hosting a large lunch gathering in our home. It’s just that Matt and I spend so much time caring for high need children that spending our time with loving adults who pour into us and our family in our home is richer and more fulfilling that just about any other thing I can think of.

  • Time with our grandbabies has been extra precious because we get to love on them and enjoy them in ways that bring us so much joy! Yes, our home is filled with children – but grandbabies are different. It’s hard to explain. But loving on them is such a gift, and it softens my heart and mind in ways that gives me energy and strength.

More Ways to Recover

I’ve been praying about what changes we can make so that we can spend some time in recovery. God is very good at providing in ways I can’t figure out on my own. So this time next year, it will be delightful to share with you so much of what He did for us that we didn’t think of ourselves!

Meanwhile, some things I’m brainstorming about:

  • Afternoon naps. I need them sometimes. But if I take a nap, that means something else has to be let go. So that might mean…
  • More frozen pizza. Or rotisserie chickens. Or whatever else takes some of the kitchen work load off.
  • Supplements. I’m experimenting with something that seems to be helping me sleep better at night. Plus, I’m taking some great vitamins to help me stay as healthy as possible overall.
  • Help. We are looking at more of our daily work needs and home repair needs that we can hire out or offload so that we can spend our energy differently to meet our kids’ needs and our own needs.
  • Appointments. As in – there are several appointments that I need that I’ve been putting off simply because I haven’t been able to make one.more.phone.call. I’m going to prioritize these now, starting with scheduling a massage with gift certificates I’ve been holding onto for a few months! Can I get an amen?
  • Dates. We are figuring out more ways we can get away for alone time together, just Matt and me, so that we can have respite.
  • Laughter. We’ve been talking with our adult kids and their significant others about somehow getting together every few months to play games without littles around. We’ll have to move a few mountains to make this happen, but laughing with our older kids is extremely life-giving for all of us. So move over mountains. I need laughing therapy.
  • Writing. Oh how I miss writing. When Emma comes on Mondays, we are trying to block out some of those hours for me to spend time writing. It’s so therapeutic for me!

Whatever God provides for recovery, I look forward to experiencing His goodness and faithfulness for us. I’ll keep you posted throughout the years as specific recovery needs are met.

Meanwhile, Arrow’s amazing cheeks provide joy in a way that resets me every time. And Little Sweetheart gives actual kisses to Lolli now. So, yeah, I’m recovering very well already.

Do you have a word for 2026? What has God been doing to show His goodness in your life?

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My Response to My Own Inflation Post

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My inflation post from a couple weeks ago has created a bit of a stir. Can we talk some more about that?

First, an apology.

My intent when I wrote this truly was to be an encouragement. I wrote it to share what has worked for our family as we try to keep costs down. And I wanted us to focus on what’s true instead of the scary information we might read that causes us to panic. I desire for us to focus our energy on what is true and on what works as we navigate inflation together.

I attempted to write in some caveats and considerations, because I know we all come from different places and are experiencing inflation in different ways. But what I failed to consider is that so many people would read my words through a lens of pain and feel that I was digging a knife into their wounds.

I’m so sorry I did that. Please forgive any hurt I caused.

I want you to know that I heard you and I am listening. You aren’t alone and you aren’t doing this wrong. In fact, you’re doing very well and friends, we are all in this together.

Where I, Laura, am coming from.

My heart wants to help. Like yours, our family has been affected by inflation. But as I’ve been doing for years and years here at Heavenly Homemakers – when I see a struggle and I’ve found something that works for me, I offer suggestions. Since 2007…

  • Want to keep like simpler in the kitchen? Here’s how.
  • Want to eat a healthier diet? This works for us.
  • Want to be in the Word more? I love digging in like this.
  • Hoping to save money on groceries? Yes! Maybe try this.

So this new struggle I was addressing was inflation. As inflation has affected families in so many ways, I was attempting to shed light on truth through what I’ve learned in my context. Might they help others struggling? I hope so.

Here are a few experiences I’ve had in the past year and a half.

  • As grocery prices were beginning to spike, we were still living in York. One day, I was shopping for a few items at a locally owned grocery store in town and it seemed that overnight, all the prices had skyrocketed. As in, the prices were scary for very basic items. I felt suddenly panicked, for sure. Then about a week later I was able to shop at Sam’s. Their prices were wayyyyyy less scary compared to the small town store I’d been in. I felt relief, big time. Since then, I’ve seen all kinds of price increases in every store. But – and I am a BIG SHOPPER – I’ve found through my hard work of price comparisons that there are stores that are much more reasonable and stores that I have to avoid because their prices truly are so much higher.
  • We moved to Lincoln, NE in June, 2023. I now have access to Costco, Sam’s, and Aldi and really and truly – I can keep our grocery budget reasonable because of their offers. Yes, their prices have increased, but not at a scary level in my experience. I am so thankful for this, and as I said here, I know that not everyone has this luxury. Meanwhile, I occasionally run into other stores in town to grab a gallon of milk or to take advantage of a loss leader sale item. THEIR PRICES ARE REALLLLLY HIGH. Milk at Aldi is $2.62, but just down the road the store brand at Super Saver is $5.00. This is why I suggested trying to shop around if you can. It was just based on my experiences of seeing how prices from one store to the next might offer something very different – right here in the same town.
  • Regarding our move to Lincoln, our property tax and home owners insurance quadrupled compared to what we were paying in York. I don’t want to talk about it. :/ We moved in the middle of price increases so I don’t know how much of our new expense is due to inflation, based on the fact that we moved to a bigger city with a higher costs of living, or because we now live in a larger home that God provided for us. Probably all of the above. But we know God put us right here for His purposes and He will continue to provide.

Inflation. What is true?

As I stated here, inflation is real. All of us are affected and none of us like it.

Some of us feel its affects more than others depending on where we live, what we do, and all other variables.

Also true: God is good. He is provider. He cares for you. He loves you.

What can we do?

This post offered some suggestions that truly do work for our family. Will they work for you? I hope so, but maybe not. Nothing works in every context, no matter what we’re topic we’re discussing.

I do know that we all need to lean into inflated costs as many of them seem to be here to stay. I heard my grandparents talking about rising costs in their day, and here we are, talking about it in ours.

Because of this, it seems that most of us have to make some sort of changes to our lifestyles. Unfortunately, some don’t have any wiggle room because they have done wiggled all the wiggle that can possibly wiggle. Someone mentioned here that they have to choose between buying food or paying for medication. This is not ok, and I’m so very sorry.

This leads me to what I think needs to be shouted very loudly:

Those of us who can help, must.

There are some people around us who are suffering and if we are making life work through this inflation journey, we need to step up and let God use us in whatever way He calls us to to help those around us.

This will look different for each of us. But God is faithful to show us how to love our neighbor.

As an example, since we moved to Lincoln, our family has loved being volunteers every week with Food Net. The program is amazing as the entire city of Lincoln works together to prevent food waste. Instead of throwing perfectly good (but not sellable) food into the trash, it gets donated and given to thousands of people in our community. As a family who hates to waste food, this organization speaks our language and provides a perfect way for us to serve with our kids and love on our community.

There’s more to be said.

But for now, I’ll wrap up this post with an extra hug and a prayer that you all hear my heart. Life looks different now. We are all going to be ok.

If you can help, help. If you need help, ask. As I’ve learned through the past few years: typically we all get to do both at the same time in some way – serve and be served.

You are loved. You care seen. You mean more to me than you know.

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Is Inflation Hype…Inflated?

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Hear me out, and be gentle with your responses. We’re all in this together for the good of all! Today I ask the question: Is inflation hype…inflated?

Inflation is real.

In no way do I want to downplay what is 100% real. Inflation is real. All of us are feeling it in a variety of ways.

But I keep seeing inflation information that is stated as fact. —> And much of it isn’t fact for our family.

I feel like this is saying something because of our family size. Trust me when I say that we buy a lot at the store. From food to shoes – it takes a lot of shopping and purchasing to care for a family this large.

This has me questioning: Are all of the “facts” we read actually facts? Or is some of the information provided about inflation actually inflated? Or biased? Or “fact-ish” but not absolute in all contexts?

Should we all panic, or can we take a deep breath and know that we will all be ok?

Pssst. Here’s the truth about the cost of ground beef in my experience.

Is Inflation Hype…Inflated?

The price of certain foods has gone up considerably – IN SOME GROCERY STORES. Are the online price comparisons I’m seeing an accurate comparison from store to store and proverbial apple to apple?

For example:

If I were to look at the price of a gallon of milk at Aldi in 2020 and compare it to the price of milk at a higher priced grocery store in 2024, I might come up with something like this:

That’s one of the many charts and memes I’ve seen floating around that are always followed by comments like:

  • “I know, it’s outrageous!”
  • “These prices are killing us!”
  • “I blame _____ (pick a president)”

Here’s why I question these “facts.”

I’m calling all of these to our attention today because the truth is, most of the prices on that chart aren’t my prices. My chart would look more like this.

Also? Last month, April 2024, I bought gallons of whole milk at Aldi for $2.62. That’s cheaper than the above chart’s 2020 price. In addition, the price of eggs has been alllllll over the place during the past few years, which has nothing to do with inflation and something to do with bird flu or some such tragedy.

Admission: Some of what I’m saying isn’t fair.

I, Laura, live in Lincoln, NE. We have running vehicles and multiple grocery stores in my city. This means that I have all the access to any store I want and the ability to easily get there. (I use the word “easily” loosely – considering the fact that I have somewhere around 37 kids and going anywhere is an extreme sporting event).

But what I’m admitting here is that because I have access to Costco, Sam’s, Aldi, and multiple other stores, I truly can find and enjoy much better prices compared to someone who say, lives in a tiny town, far from bulk grocers, and only has access to a higher priced, locally owned grocer. Or compared to someone who doesn’t own a car and can only walk to the nearest store for necessities. The majority of us, though, I believe do have access to options that truly can keep our food and clothing costs down. 

Unfortunately, I don’t think the Awful Inflation Memes and Scary Chart people are talking about the minority. They are making inflation out to be the worst of the worst for everyone everywhere and I’m here to say:

Hey. Wait a minute.

Are you sure you’ve done thorough research? Are your “facts” thoroughly checked? Would you like to go shopping with me and see how I can save much more money on groceries than you claim that I can? Please do! Go with me! Hold the baby and help me lug my two full carts while you’re at it.

Here’s some of my research:

This. Many of you chimed in on this.

I didn’t want to speak only into my context and say, “Meh. Sure some prices are higher, but not all of them. I’m fine. You’re fine. Stop worrying.” So I asked you what your experiences have been. Most of you agreed that while some prices on certain items have increased, many of you are still finding reasonably priced groceries, therefore feeding our families well is still very doable.

I also looked back at past receipts and compared them to my 2024 receipts. Guess what? My chart looks very different compared to the chart I shared above. Look at this. While some of my staple purchases have increased in price, many of them have stayed the same. A few have even gone down.

I’m not panicking. It truly is going to be ok, friends.

How do you feel about this meme?

Is this “Interesting fact…” truly a fact?

WOW. Does it? If so, that is perhaps a reason to panic. Especially because we are not a family of 4. We are a family of (Laura stops a long, long time to do the math)…

10? 16? 13?

In total, we are a family of 16 with only 10 of us living at our residence. BUT, we also have three housemates so there are actually 13 people living in our house and sharing our food. Plus we always have guests. You see now why I had a hard time landing on a number.

But for fairness sake, let’s just go with the number 10 for current the family numbers living in our home.

If, according to the above Meme “Fact” it costs a family of 4 $11,000 more to buy basic necessities than it did just 18 months ago, then it must cost my family of 10 (Laura stops to do more math)…..

$27,500.

More per year? For all of us to eat and wear shoes?

Stop it. No it doesn’t.

Here’s what is fact for our family:

  1. Some grocery prices have increased. Some have not.
  2. 13 people (6 adults, 7 kids) live in our house and eat our food.
  3. I have only had to increase our grocery budget by $200/month since 2017 when there were only 6 people living in our home. That’s a increased total of only $2,400/year. Here’s how I’m doing with our grocery budget so far this year.
  4. We eat well rounded, high quality meals that include fruit, vegetables, whole grains, meat, and dairy.
  5. Restaurant prices and processed food prices at the store seem to have gone up quite a bit. We avoid these to save money.
  6. Shoes, underwear, and socks cost more than they used to. We have a lot of shoe, underwear, and sock wearing people in this house. Our costs for these items have increased, but definitely not by $1,000’s of dollars.
  7. We have two kids in diapers (down from five kids in diapers, so woohoo for that!). Diapers and wipes are not costing us thousands more per year than they used to.
  8. We buy yearly family memberships to places like the Lincoln Zoo and Children’s Museum. The costs for these have gone up – by only 20 total dollars for the entire year. This increase is minimal.
  9. We enrolled Keith in soccer this spring. This was our first time to do that since moving to Lincoln so I don’t have past fees to compare prices. But it only cost $48, which breaks down to $6/game.

Again, I know we can’t all compare costs across America as costs of living vary. I also know that as our kids get older, our expenses will increase. But that will be because they eat more, do more, and care more about their clothes – not solely because of inflation. :)

Sample grocery cart for our family, just to prove that yes, I know a thing or two about buying food:

What might help us all be free from inflation stress:

1. Shop around. Maybe find a new favorite store or two.

There are certain grocery stores that I do not frequent because their prices ARE actually outrageous. (It’s worth noting that these stores were more expensive, compared to my favorite, lower priced stores all along, not just through and because of this inflation streak.)

If these higher-priced stores were where I did the majority of my shopping, I, too, would be worried and upset. But instead, I have found the lowest priced, best quality options that work for our family.

2. Find sales.

They still exist!!

I’m continually encouraged by the food mark-downs I regularly find that offer us great prices on high quality staples. Grocery stores offer loss-leader prices that help us stock up on groceries at truly good prices. Clothing still goes on clearance at the end of every season. Name-brand shoes (if you need high quality) can be found at outlet malls for great prices, and in my experience last longer than “cheaper” shoes at Walmart or Target.

Maybe we have to work harder now to find good sale prices. But many of us are working pretty hard to complain about inflation, so perhaps we could instead use that energy to score some deals! ;)

Underwear and socks I found on clearance for our four littlest kids, May 2024 —>

Our favorite free range chicken thighs marked down to just $1.98/pound, May 2024 —>

3. Hand me downs (and thrift store clothes) are your friend.

I am amazed at the clothing that is available for free or cheap – all around us. Many churches offer free clothing to the community, and not just for people who struggle to make ends meet. In my experience –  there’s usually enough to go around and then some. I am shocked at how many people have loads of clothes that they want to get rid of.

Thrift stores still offer “$0.99 days” and “fill a bag for $5” days. It’s so much fun how many times I have  complimented someone’s great shirt or dress only to hear, “I picked it up for $3 when I was thrifting!” or “I got it at the Clothing Giveaway!” or “I found it on clearance at the sidewalk sale!” You guys rock.

4. Eat at home more instead of at restaurants.

I promise I’m not trying to be a buzz kill with this one. Or sound like a broken record. But if I’ve seen inflation hit something hard, it is definitely take-out and restaurant prices. It’s not the restaurant’s fault. They have to pay higher wages to be competitive in keeping employees and some of their food costs have gone up as well. That all gets passed down to the consumer.

Here are some ways our family eats out without eating out. And here’s a little cost break down I did for foods like Pizza, Chicken Nuggets, and Hamburgers that I make at home for much less than the cost of restaurants. Great coffee? I did some math here too.

Inflation is real, but you are amazing.

My encouragement today is to look around you to embrace what is true. Don’t believe the scary memes that tell you that we are all going to go broke.

You have resources, you are smart, and doggonit, Rotisserie Chickens are still just $4.98. We might have to make adjustments as we settle into some newly inflated prices that are here to stay. But we are resilient. We can make modifications and we can thrive because of them!

Weigh in on this. When you look at actual facts based on your experiences, do you see that some of the inflation hype is inflated?

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I Won’t Always Have Toothpaste on My Pants

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Why do I have toothpaste on my pants? Why wouldn’t I?

We are currently caring for seven kids ages nine and under. Often, we have an eighth kiddo along for the ride. He and our 4-year-old, Keith, are like twins as they are only 6 weeks apart in age. Once a few weeks ago, the two of them were actually sitting still together and I took a picture to prove that it can actually happen.

Their stillness only lasted a few seconds, then they were off and running again. Meanwhile:

I could share picture after picture of our little ones, but in summary:

  • There are a lot of kids
  • The kids are always busy
  • Someone is almost always screaming
  • Our house is always a mess

And that’s why we aren’t surprised that I got toothpaste on my pants.

It happened on a day that we’d been having issues with the four-year-old “twins” getting out the toothpaste and squirting it everywhere – the bottom of the sink, their bedroom floor, I suppose we could say – anywhere except for a toothbrush.

No matter what we did to discipline them, they would go back to the toothpaste. Throw that into the mix along with our 7 and 9-year-olds acting out because of trauma, our 3-year-old’s super frequent emotional melt-downs, our then 1-year-old always wanting to be held, and our 5-month old acting like a normal 5-month-old in which he enjoyed regular feedings, bouncing, snuggles, and diaper changes. Did I mention the poop that got all over the outside of the toilet because someone didn’t make it in time?

And that’s why we aren’t surprised that I got toothpaste on my pants.

I should actually be glad it was toothpaste and not poop.

After we got four out of eight kids down for afternoon naps that day, I plopped down to sit by Matt for a second and proclaimed, “At least we know that I won’t always have toothpaste on my pants. They’ll grow through this someday…”

But then I sighed and followed up my first thoughts with these, “Of course, then they’ll all be dealing with much bigger issues in their pre-teen and teen years. Then we’ll be wishing that we were only dealing with toothpaste.”

Mom sheds a big fat tear.

Here are Laura’s takeaways from the toothpaste situation:

1. The kids really will not all be babies forever.

We will get through these days. Today they are 9, 7, 4, 4, 3, 2, 2, and 6-months. There are so many babies all at once that I’ve stopped wondering why I can’t speak a sentence correctly. Most of the time it feels like we live in a circus and a zoo all wrapped up in one. And we are coated in toothpaste and poop. But in just a few years, these babes will all wipe their own bottoms, dress themselves, buckle themselves, and load the dishwasher, praise Jesus hallelujah amen.

2. These kids will all be teenagers at the same time.

Today’s hard will get easier, but then it will get harder again in a different way. I choke on my air when I think about what it might be like. But then I have to remember to do this…

3. Do not look past today.

Each day has enough trouble of its own. Every season in life has incredible joys and extreme challenges. We can appreciate them simultaneously, and we can learn more every day about how to trust the God who is walking ahead of us and carrying us through.

How do we do this?

There is no other way but to stand firm in God’s power and truth. I don’t mean that in a trite “it’s what all the good Christians are doing” sort of way. I’m talking about not letting the enemy keep us in a fetal position and instead STANDING UP in His power and strength. We put on His armor, and we STAND.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:10-18

How do I care for all these littles and walk through big, hard things with my bigs too? How do I feed them three meals a day in the meantime? And how in the world am I going to get this house packed by the time we close on our house?

I am tempted to lay down in defeat, but the Holy Spirit nudges me to do what I know to do: STAND UP.

In Him, we are strong, solid, and victorious. We stand firm in this Truth. Be encouraged by this short video —>

 

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Everyone Needs Tuesday People

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What are Tuesday People? They are the people that everyone needs.

How we got our Tuesday People

It all started the week we took in a 17-month old girl and her newborn baby sister. They needed immediate placement and we already had their 2-year-old sibling in our home. So we were the first call. Could we take them? Yes. God said yes. So Matt and I said yes.

The two baby girls were welcomed into our home by our four older sons plus our young adopted and/or foster kids – at the time ages 7, 5, 2, 2, and 9-months. It wasn’t the first time we questioned our sanity, as we cared for so many high-need kids so close in age.

But were we even crazier for taking in two more? The kids would be ages  7, 5, 2, 2, 17-months, 9-months, and 2-days. Did I mention that our oldest, Asa, was getting married six weeks from that day?

Yes. We were crazy.

But have you ever read the Bible? Does God do anything significant for the Kingdom that isn’t weird, extreme, different, shocking, or challenging? Ask Sarah, Joseph, Paul, Esther, Noah, or Mary. It seems that God’s “yes” is always with great purpose, but it is also accompanied by that which seems impossible. We read the Word with confidence, noting that He always came through for the people that He called. He would come through for us.

Our community rallied

Surely our people were also questioning our sanity. But they walked with us anyway. It was only a few days before we had half a room stocked with cases of wipes and diaper boxes of all sizes, a Meal Train filled with meals ready to be delivered, and the best of the best: a Google spreadsheet brimming with people who had signed up to come in the evenings to help us with dinner, baths, and bedtime. Five kids in diapers? A baby with leg braces? Toddlers who struggled to stay out of the street? A freshly traumatized 1-year-old? Sleepless nights for Mom and Dad? The list goes on. We were in need.

God provided. He is good. His people are good.

Our Tuesday People

As we settled in with our new babies, the beloved spreadsheet told us that the Conyers would be coming that Tuesday evening to help. They arrived with a meal for all of us to enjoy. Then they chased kids in the yard, pushed kids on the swings, changed diapers, and read books. They scrubbed dirt off of kids, fed babies bottles, and washed our dishes. We got the kids to bed and thanked them as they headed out the door, surely exhausted from all they’d done for our family during those hours. That’s when they said:

“Can we come again next Tuesday?”

Oh, yes please. If you’re sure that works for you??

The next Tuesday turned into the Tuesday after that. Which turned into the one after that. And then the one after that. We settled into a routine with Aaron and Eryn. They became our Tuesday People. They came right after work on Tuesdays. I always had dinner waiting to feed them when they arrived – because it was the least I could do.

Sometimes they ate with a baby in their arms. Often they ate with a toddler in their lap. Then they didn’t stop moving until after the jammies were on, the nightly family “singing and prayer time” was complete, and the kids were in bed. Often Matt and I would come down the stairs after tucking kids in to see that Aaron and Eryn had the toys picked up and the dishwasher loaded.

During the spring, they’d meet us at the soccer field to help us chase kids while we cheered for Malachi. We sometimes joke that two years ago, we weren’t sure who was the most hesitant in this relationship: the baby girls who weren’t sure what to do with Aaron and his beard, or Aaron, who wasn’t sure what to do with seemingly fragile baby girls. Now, they are all the best of friends.

This Tuesday night thing all started back in June 2021. And here we are two years later, in June 2023.

The Conyers have become so dear to us. They are our Tuesday People. They’ve seen the worst of us, shared their best with us, and prayed us through incredible challenges. We’ve fed them, loved them, and made them a part of our family. They made us a part of theirs.

Saying goodbye to our Tuesday Nights now as we are moving on to Lincoln grieves me more than just about anything we are leaving behind. Oh how we’ve loved and needed our Tuesday People.

Everyone needs Tuesday People.

Church, worship, family, and community can take on many forms and for us, Tuesdays have become a beautiful blending of all of this. We need this. Everyone needs this.

So some questions for you:

  • Do you have Tuesday People?
  • Can you become someone’s Tuesday People?

We all need community. Sometimes we are called to serve and sometimes we are called to be served. As I have learned during our life journey – the need to serve and to be served almost always happens simultaneously. It is beautiful this way.

When we allow ourselves to be served, we are opening ourselves up to experiencing God in a way that we cannot if we choose to “go it alone.” We suffer when we say no to help, because God didn’t make us to do life without His people. We can do so much more for the Kingdom when we work together, serve together, and open our homes and hearts to be served and cared for.

Say yes to this

Prayerfully open your heart to how God can use you in this. Serve and be served. Love and be loved.

Our Tuesday People have changed our lives and we’ll never be the same. It is almost two years to the day from our first Tuesday together that we tearfully enjoy our last.

Thank you, Aaron and Eryn for loving us so well. Our Tuesdays will not be the same without you. We love you. 

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How God Used My Cheesecake

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God used my cheesecake in a way that surprised us all…

I’ve always felt that my biggest love language is food. Are you sick? Here’s a casserole. Going through a hard time? I just made fresh muffins. Exhausted while you adjust to having a newborn? Enjoy these frozen burritos. Want to come over and eat with us? I have something like Lasagna, Roast, or perhaps a big pot of Taco Soup. Also coffee, fruit, vegetables, bread, butter, potatoes, salad…

I feed people. It’s one of the ways God uses me to love people, and in return, I am delightfully blessed. God’s people are precious and food is one great way for us to get to know them.

How God used my cheesecake

Several months during this past school year, our family joined with a few other families to host lunches after church for young adults and college students. We invited any and all, and on one particular day in January, there were a few that joined us who had never been to church before. We loved this and were so thankful to prayerfully introduce God’s love and care for them.

I don’t remember what else I made to share around the table that day, but I do know that I made some big Cheesecakes to share.

Later that evening, our new friend J texted the Bible professor who had invited him to church and lunch:

No, you may not buy one, but we sure will make you one!

The next week, I made a cheesecake and Matt took it to campus to deliver it to J. The young man was amazed that people who barely knew him would do something like this. For us, it was easy. For him, it was love. It was “just a cheesecake,” but it was the beginning of a relationship and so much more.

As the weeks went by, we continued to get to know J. He came to church and joined us for lunch a few more times. (There was always cheesecake.) Meanwhile, many others whom he had gotten to know at the York University campus were sharing their lives with him and more importantly, sharing more about Jesus. He was open, he was ready, and a few weeks ago, he decided to become a Christian.

Watching him be baptized and embraced by dozens and dozens of people who had invested in his life was one of the most glorious moments of this year so far. This young man who knew nothing about a life in Christ before this school year had decided to fully embrace it. Our God is amazing.

The cheesecake was just a piece (pun intended)

In the big scheme of things, our family didn’t do much. The cheesecakes were a very small part of J’s journey as he decided to become a part of God’s family. Other people spent far more time with him, helping him study, learn, and grow. We simply found a small way to connect with him and we took advantage of it.

Let God use you

God gave me a silly cheesecake as a reason to reach out and text a new friend. If God can use cheesecake, He can certainly use your great gifts too, no matter what they are.

Listen to the Spirit’s leading and faithfully walk forward. You never know where He might lead!

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How Our Youngest Became Oldest of 9

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Once upon a time, Malachi was the youngest of four boys. We thought he’d hold that status forever, but God had different plans.

18 years ago when Malachi was born, one of my sisters-in-law made the boys adorable shirts that said:

  • Biggest Brother
  • Bigger Brother
  • Big Brother
  • Baby Brother

Having our four boys was so special, and their friendship grew and became beautiful through the years.

 

Then one day, 13 years after Malachi became our baby, God shocked us by adding a four-year-old boy to our family. A few months later, his baby cousin joined us. Within a year, we had adopted them both and Malachi had two younger brothers.

This transition was full of challenges, but Malachi, like all of our older boys, opened his heart and let God grow him into his new role.

God continued to bring more children into our family, and within five years, we had grown from a family of six to a family of 15 (including two parents, four biological children, six adopted children, one foster son, and two daughters-in-law). In addition, one of our former foster sons still spends time with us and we consider him one of our own.

The day we adopted our four girls, the judge asked Malachi to come to the front and sit with Matt and me and the girls. We thought this was strange, seeing as we had lots of other siblings who were a part of this too. But the judge recognized something special about Malachi as he had been the only one of our older sons living at home during the entire process of fostering the sisters we were getting ready to adopt. So with a grin, Malachi stepped down and had a seat with us as Matt and I testified and as the judge finalized our girls’ adoption.

The very next day, Malachi graduated from high school. At first, I was overwhelmed by having two huge events back-to-back. But as the weekend progressed, I was profoundly impacted by how perfectly timed these events were. You see, we had thought that the day Malachi graduated, we would have launched our last child and become empty nesters. But in fact, just the day before, God officially added four more children. The beauty of God’s timing in this astounded me and I couldn’t get over how good God is in overruling our plans and giving us so much more.

Our graduation tradition is to gather in our living room and speak a blessing over our graduate. Here we are, gathered around, listening in as Malachi FaceTimed Justus who couldn’t join us that day.

My blessing was this. I’m sharing it with you so that you know a little bit more about who this wonderful young man is:

Malachi,

We all got a chuckle yesterday when the Judge asked you to sit up front, but the truth is that she was very right when she said, “You need to be up here; you’ve played a very big role in this.” So true.

Today, your graduation day, looks very different than what we all expected five years ago. Literally overnight, you went from being the youngest brother to being an older brother. Within the past five years, you’ve become oldest of nine. THIS WAS SO UNEXPECTED! It hasn’t always been easy for you, but you’ve turned out to be such a beloved big brother to your little sisters and brothers. What a gift you are to them (and to your older brothers, and to Dad and me).

I think God has used this huge life change to teach us all something so important. First, we can make plans for our life, but God is the One who knows what we actually need. Our job is to be open, to listen to Him, and to trust that what He has for us is best – even if it’s hard.

Second, being uncomfortable is often right where God wants us. You’ve been learning this and I pray that you never stop seeking to be uncomfortable in all the ways God wants you to be. I pray that being uncomfortable becomes comfortable as you continue to walk in obedience to Christ.

Third, remember that your identity is in Christ. Not in where you fall in line in our family birth order or in your Sideline Media career (which is awesome, by the way, and we’re so proud of you) or in anything else – but who you are in Christ is all that matters. You are a child of God – adopted, chosen, cherished, and so very loved. Live your life in that love, and choose to let the Holy Spirit love others through you. What amazing things God will continue to do with and through you when you walk in His love.

Thank you for being my boy, and for loving me through my weaknesses. Thank you for crying with me as we’ve navigated these years together. Thank you for always making me laugh. I love you.

Mom

As Malachi launches into adulthood, he will be working full-time at the thriving production company he created two years ago, Sideline Media. He is so admired by his three older brothers Asa, Justus, and Elias. And by his younger siblings Brayden, Kiya, Keith, Anna, Acacia, Josie, Baby#11, and Bonus Brother K.

We truly don’t know what God has in store for us, but we know that He is faithful and He is good. He is provider and we can trust Him fully.

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How to Love People (My New Year Goal)

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I’m writing this post on how to love people because God keeps having to teach me how to love people.

I guess I might be writing this for myself. I need this. Loving people can be hard.

Like, actually loving them. Not just being nice to them. Not just showing kindness. But actually loving them.

I’m not proud of what I am about to share. I’m weeping over it actually. There are some people in our lives that are very hard to love. I’ve never felt this way before.

THESE are MY people, and they are the easiest to love. I don’t have to try to love them and in fact, my love for them is so great that sometimes I can’t even breathe. As God has grown our family, my ability to love has grown. It’s remarkable to experience.

Meanwhile, our little ones come with some baggage. Their baggage becomes mine and I sometimes find myself dealing with texts or communication with people that make me want to scream, ” I JUST WANT TO LOVE AND RAISE THESE KIDS!!! I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE REST OF IT! I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!”

But in fact, I did sign up for this when I said yes to God’s yes. So now I have to figure out how to live and love like Jesus through it.

Am I just a mama bear?

A friend of mine (after I puked my feelings on her for the many-eth time) recently kindly and wisely defended my feelings. “Your mama bear instincts want to protect your babies. There’s nothing wrong with that.” And she’s right. I will always and forever do everything I can for the good of our children, protecting them and seeking what is best for them under harder-than-normal circumstances.

But the truth is that while many of my feelings are normal and understandable, I also have to choose how to use my time and energy when I encounter a challenge with an outside source. How can I do this?

How to love people?

Yes, how to actually love them.

Matt, who is calm and wise and always my sounding board, offered some insights recently and I’ve been praying over them ever since. When I face a challenge that I have no choice but to deal with, I can either:

  • shrink and become soft
  • bristle and become hard
  • or I can choose to let the Holy Spirit do its work in me to truly hear and respond in love

I’m not actually ever responding to anyone with angry words. The problem is inside my head and heart.

My energy and time cannot be taken up by swirling angry and frustrated thoughts. I cannot allow myself to choose ugliness or to let ridiculous inside-my-head conversations full of everything I shoulda-coulda-woulda said to overrule my thoughts.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

This passage tells me to:

  1. Take my thoughts captive.
  2. Make them obey Christ.

All day long.

A boundary around my heart

Someone else’s words should never set my head on fire. Yet I’ve been surprised at how easily angered I can become.

I have to set boundaries in certain relationships, and I have done this. But the biggest boundary is to be put around my own heart. I’m prayerfully working right now to put a Holy Spirit Filter around my heart and head so that when I read a text or have a conversation that frustrates me or makes me hurt, I can still be at peace.

How? By choosing to hear every word through a filter of love.

By recognizing that my God is already at work in each situation. By accepting that He fully loves me and He fully loves the hard people in my life. Because of this, I can love them too. But only with the help of the Holy Spirit.

So I’ve stopped trying so hard

I can’t do it. I can’t love better or be better or do better. It’s all too hard.

But the Holy Spirit can love wholly and freely, and He lives and works in and through me. I am refusing to take on anything that isn’t mine. This includes conflict and any challenge that someone might want to direct at me. In all circumstances, Matt and I will prayerfully work to do what is best for each of our kids. When we come under attack, we will allow the Spirit to give us a loving response. First in our own hearts, then naturally to others.

This brings incredible peace. It also allows love to flow freely, which beautifully takes the place of anger and hurt.

It’s almost a new year

If you’re hoping to do better or be better in 2023, this is great. But I pray that your focus has to do with that which is Spiritual. Nothing else actually matters and everything else, physical and otherwise, will fall into place if we are seeking to let the Holy Spirit be our complete guide and rescue.

My most necessary goal:

To hear every word through a filter of love.

This is my goal, with the help of the Father who sent a comforter to dwell in my heart. This changes everything about how I use my mental and emotional energy, which changes everything about how I walk through my days and love my people.

Dearest Father, help us when we cannot help ourselves. We need you. We can’t do this without you. Be our God. We praise you and seek you for rescue. In Jesus’ name.

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How to Stop Letting Your Thoughts Control You

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Are your thoughts controlling you? Here’s what helps!

Resposted from 2014.

Stop Thinking and Pray

70,000.  That’s how many thoughts we think every day, which breaks down to 1.2 thoughts per second.

Yoo-hoo, dear wonderful person who did the research so as to provide us with this thought provoking information: What I’d like to know is, how many of these thoughts of mine are rational, logical, emotional, or have something to do with cream cheese? Does this statistic count the thoughts I think in my subconscious while I’m sleeping? Or in fact do I cram my 70K thoughts into my awake hours, which ultimately means that all the thoughts I think are running into each other, tackling, punching, vying for attention, thus resulting in a big jumbled pile-up inside my head?

I’d like to believe my thinker works in overdrive because I am an efficient multi-tasker. Yes. This is a gift I have, which in effect allows me to plan dinner, read to my kids, make a mental list of phone calls I need to make, and question whose feet are the culprit of my nostril discomfort – all at the same time. Unfortunately, it is also the thinker that allows me to create scenarios, envision disasters, replay conversations, invent situations, and ultimately freak out inside about what did, could, should, didn’t, would have, and might just happen. It is this thinker that makes me believe that I’m completely on my own and able to solve all the world’s problems, prevent all physical and spiritual calamities for my children, and figure out how to appropriately respond to all conversations and encounters.

This kind of thinking makes me crazy.

So what to do? We can’t stop thinking. (because then we’d be dead. okay then.)  Are those of us who tend to “over-think” situations, worry, fret, and constantly analyze just destined to have a lot of frustration for the rest of our lives?

Jesus says, no way. Just like any sin and struggle, God gives us a simple way out of the crazy.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Take Every Thought Captive

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We control our thoughts. They do not control us. If we allow thoughts that are anxious, frustrated, confusing, angry, controlling, or ungodly in any other way – we need to take them captive and intentionally refocus them to make them obey Christ.

This takes courage, intention, and a heart open to surrender. Christ wants to overtake our thoughts, to fill our minds with his goodness, and to rule our actions. He can’t do that when we ignore Him. He can’t talk to us if we aren’t listening. He can’t fill us with His peace and joy when we refuse to let go of swirling, corrupted thoughts.

Take your thoughts captive. Make them obey Christ. Stop thinking about and trying to figure out all the stuff. Just stop.  Stop thinking and pray. Before every decision. Every situation. Every step forward.

Be amazed at how God offers a solution to every problem you face and how He replaces your anxiety with peace.

Stop thinking and pray. It works! But did we really expect anything less?

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Today Seems Like a Good Day to Read Your Bible…

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How can I encourage you today to read your Bible?

I didn’t used to love it. I didn’t used to crave it. I didn’t used to read my Bible regularly.

It was okay though. I mean, I went to church three times each week. I prayed. I taught my kids about Jesus. I served a bunch of people and made a lot of casseroles for funerals and new moms. I was really nice to everyone.

So I was doing a lot of good things and caring for people. THIS TRULY WAS ALL GOOD.

But also:

  • I was anxious all the time.
  • I always worried about what people thought about me.
  • I frequently replayed conversations I’d had with people, wishing I’d said things better or differently.
  • I worried constantly that I wasn’t doing enough.
  • I tried really, really hard to be a perfect mom, a perfect wife, and a perfect friend.
  • But I couldn’t. So I dug deeper and tried harder…

I was not ok.

I realize now that this is in big part to the fact that I hadn’t truly gotten to know Jesus. That I hadn’t yet realized how I needed to let the Holy Spirit work in me fully.

Hitting a pit of depression broke me. After all, one can only try and try and try to do all the right things, and fail and fail and fail over and over for so long before she hits that pit. Not reaching perfection and working so hard to please all the people and never fully living for Truth – that’ll send a person south.

So there I was. I was not ok. For the first time ever (I was 39 at the time) I finally got out my Bible to read it as if my life depended on it.

Today Seems Like a Good Day to Read Your Bible…

As it turns out, my life does depend on it. So does yours.

  • Knowing Bible stories and having some verses memorize is not enough.
  • Going to church regularly is not enough.
  • Praying daily is not enough.
  • Listening to Christian music and hanging out with Christian people is not enough.
  • Listening to Christian podcasters is not enough.

All of these are huge blessings on our Christian walk. But I have learned from experience that if I am doing all of those things but not spending personal time with Jesus in the Word, I am not at peace.

The only way to really get to know Jesus and His will for your life is to:

  1. Read your Bible.
  2. Meditate on its Truth.
  3. Then talk to God about it.
  4. Listen to what He’s teaching you. (Write down what He’s telling you if that benefits you.)
  5. Breathe in His truth all day long, based on what you read in His word – His beautiful messages to you.
  6. Learn to let the Holy Spirit guide every minute of your day.

It isn’t enough to do good and to try harder. Trust me on this – I’m the one who tried real hard to do real good. I finally recognize how desperately I need Jesus. To be a wife. To be a mom. To be a friend. To be a neighbor. To be a human being walking on this earth.

Open your Bible and let His Word speak to you. Ask God for an open heart to hear Him as you never have before. He is faithful and He will give it.

Let His Word become Life for you.

Now, close your phone or computer and go read your Bible. Ready…go!

More:

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