Encouragement Archives | Heavenly Homemakers

Old Laura. New Laura. And the One thing that’s made the biggest difference.

June 22, 2020 by Laura 16 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Have a seat with me for a few minutes. It’s time for me to really share what has made the biggest difference in my life to help me learn how to let go of stress, anxiety, depression, and fear.

There’s Old Laura and there’s New Laura and I’m quite certain that there’s sure to be a Newer Laura every day in the future because God continues to teach me and refine me. Growth and healing never stop as long as we’re seeking Him.

Old Laura

First I’ll talk about Old Laura (in third person, apparently). She sure was a go-getter. She’d start tackling her to-do list as soon as her feet hit the floor and wow could she get a lot done each day! Between homeschooling four sons and writing a blog and making all of her food from scratch and keeping up with marriage, housework, and the ministries she was involved in, she could tackle a huge to-do list every day. Boom. Way to go, Old Laura.

Except for, yikes. Old Laura was nervous all the time. Anxious. Worried. Fearful. Tense. What if she wasn’t doing enough? What if all she was doing wasn’t being done well enough? What if she let someone down? What if her children didn’t turn out perfectly? What if all of her efforts didn’t turn out perfectly?

So she worked even harder. Year after year, she tried and she strove and she dug in her heels with determination. Through all of her many tasks she would pray! “God, help me to do all of this. I need your help!”

God was listening.

He listened with love and He knew what she needed. So He began to lead her down a new path; one that required deep inner healing and cleansing to show her that her life wasn’t about getting it all done. No. It was about surrendering to the One who had already done what was most important.

What Made the Biggest Difference

Old Laura slowly started to learn a new way. She still had four boys to homeschool. She still had food to cook. She still had a blog and a husband and ministries and laundry and housework. But she learned a new way to do it, and the Truth was surprising.

Old Laura started to recognize in a brand new way how much she needed her Savior. She learned that tackling her long to-do list successfully wasn’t really what made her successful. That at the end of the day, nothing really mattered except for love. And that love conquers all – even the laundry piles.

As God helped Old Laura heal from her chronic sin of people-pleasing and hurtful tendencies to worry and over-think, He helped her learn that the only way to truly get through a day successfully was to begin with prayer and time in the Word. Not the “Good morning God, help me get through this day!” kind of desperate prayer spoken on the fly while heading into the kitchen to make a perfectly nourishing breakfast. But the calm and peaceful prayer breathed in and out while sitting humbly in the quiet.

New Laura

Old Laura died and she started to become New Laura because God completely changed her focus. God taught her that true peace, true calm, and true love only come from surrendering self and seeking Truth. And His Truth could only fill her mind and heart when she spent real time with her Savior – daily.

Time with God could happen while washing dishes and folding clothes and scrubbing toilets. It did happen while in the car on the way to soccer practice with the boys and while reading novels out loud during school time.

But true calm and peace weren’t achieved without first spending as much quiet, alone time as possible each day talking to God and listening for his voice of direction and Truth.

Laura learned that nothing on the to-do list was as important as spending time with God – in His Word and in prayer. Without it, Laura learned that she was not okay.

But the to-do list!

The to-do list remained long, and in fact, it became longer!

God added foster children and adopted children to the family, and with them came caseworker visits, extra phone calls, court dates, appointments, the extra needs of traumatized children, and ultimately, the necessity to learn to juggle all of life while caring for kids from baby to elementary to high school to adult.

More to do = More time with Jesus

As the needs around her grew bigger, and as the to-do list became longer, she discovered that she needed even more time in the Word. Life’s needs were too intense and challenging to even attempt to tackle on her own. Nothing on the to-do list was as important as hearing from God – His voice of Truth in the middle of many storms and trials.

But how is this even possible?

Doesn’t more on the to-do list take even more time than before? Yes, one would think. But New Laura continued to learn about dying to self, seeking His Truth instead of worldly wisdom, and listening for the Spirit’s direction.

And that is how New Laura gets everything completed on her to-do list each day. You see, the to-do list is no longer penned by a person. The to-do list is detailed and directed by the Holy Spirit.

If He doesn’t need it to be done, it doesn’t make the list. And if it’s not on the list, it doesn’t cause anxiety, because well, it didn’t make the list.

The family still eats three times a day. The necessary chores still get done. The dishes get washed. The laundry gets folded. The needs get met.

But New Laura is learning that she is not the one who meets the needs. God meets the needs. And now, in place of fear and worry, there is peace – the kind that can only come from the Spirit who fills a heart and overflows into the home.

New Laura continues to be Renewed Laura. There is no “arriving” on this earth as there is always a need to surrender self and let God refine and heal and stretch and grow.

Oh hi. (New) Laura here.

Thanks for listening. This is getting pretty long, and shucks, I’m not even done yet. :)

I’m sharing all of this because I think it’s important for you to hear that I’ve realized that I am an absolute mess when I don’t spend focused time with God every day. I used to live life doing good and being good and it all seemed good – except for the fact that my heart and mind were always in turmoil as I was striving to BE ALL THE THINGS and DO ALL THE THINGS and HOPE EVERYONE WAS PLEASED WITH IT ALL.

This was not okay. I was not okay.

I realized that I actually need Jesus.

I knew this, but I didn’t really know it, you know?

I never used to really crave time in the Word. I’m not sure why. Because I was too busy?? (Shake my head.) Because I already knew a lot about the Bible? (Yeah, right.) Because I was intimidated by all I didn’t know or understand about the Bible? (Well, there’s that.) The reasons I didn’t make time for it are many.

God changed all of that a few years ago when I found myself in a deep, dark pit. I found that I had to go all-in with Him if I wanted to find healing and Truth to live by. Through that, I discovered that time in the Word, time in surrendered prayer, and time listening to Him are life-changing and life-giving.

So now, because I’ve learned now that I must, and because now I actually crave it, I spend as much time as possible in the quiet, before the family wakes up each morning, drinking coffee, and talking and listening to God. I soak in the Word as nourishment because I’ve found that I truly am not okay otherwise. Without it, my flesh easily takes over and I slip back into worried-mom mode. Shoot, even with it I struggle if I don’t use scripture Truth I’ve learned to fight the lies that the enemy wants me to believe. He’s crafty and he knows my weak places. I must spend time in the Word and in prayer each morning or I truly struggle emotionally and spiritually.

And after I read and talk to God for as long as He allows each morning, I journal. Sometimes just a few words, or sometimes several pages. I do this because I want to write down what He is teaching me and the scriptures He’s bringing to life. Writing it solidifies it, and for me, this brings healing.

So what about you?

One of the biggest reasons I’m sharing all of this with you because I kind of want to beg you to do this. Maybe you already are. If so, I’m so glad. It is life-giving.

If spending time in the Word each day and in prayer is a struggle for you, I understand too well. Old Laura didn’t even really want this because well, she was too busy and focused on doing good things for her family, you know? But I was missing the peace and joy that came from loving my family God’s way.

No matter where you and I are on our journey with Jesus, we can all continue to learn more about listening and walking with Him in humility and fullness of His freedom! So do this. Make yourself do it at first if that’s what it takes. Eventually, you will crave it and find that you can’t live your days without it. :)

If you have babies or crazy work schedules and the logistics don’t allow for quiet time in the morning or ANY time – I want you to know that I understand that too.

But I also want you to know that God wants heart-to-heart time with you. Therefore He will provide it in some way! I know this from experience. :)

Daily time in the Word truly has made the biggest difference.

Dig into the Word and learn more about who He is and what He has to offer!

When we surrender ourselves and let God truly be Lord of our lives, we become incredibly fruitful. That’s why it’s called the “fruit of the Spirit.” His work in us overflows, and it is powerful!!!

So let’s dive in deep together! His work and his ways will astound us all!

P.S. Want a prayer journal to help you along on this journey? I love these! Click on any of the images to find them on Amazon:

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

How to Keep a Good Attitude While Being Debt-Free

June 10, 2020 by Tasha Hackett 3 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Sometimes being debt-free isn’t much fun.

When I look around at the world driving nice cars and eating at nice places and going on nice vacations I can get discouraged. But then I remind myself that I am choosing this! (And then I also remind myself that 80% of Americans are in credit card debt.)

“I’m choosing this!” is more than just semantics. That little phrase can change your life. Hear me out: If you’re on some kind of diet that doesn’t allow cake, it’s only because they didn’t know about Laura’s cakes. (Like this Low sugar Strawberry Cream Cheese Cake or this Low Sugar Banana Cake.) But let’s pretend you’re not eating cake because a diet book told you not to. So now you’re sad about not eating cake, and you sigh and feel bad for yourself because you really want cake and it’s all somebody else’s fault for deciding that high sugar and processed fats and carbs are unhealthy and you struggle with attitude problems every time you are put in a cake situation.

Let’s not blame the cake.

What if you turned the whole thing around and told yourself, “I’m choosing this!” Nobody is forcing me to give up anything. “I am choosing to make better food choices. Eating healthier options is my choice! I don’t even want all that cake because I know what’s in it, and it’s nothing good!” And then you can use your freshly ground flour to make your own densely nutrient cake and you can choose to have your cake and eat it too.

What if you wanted a new car instead of cake?

Something my husband and I have embraced the last few years of paying off debt is “We’re choosing this!” We are choosing to not spend money so that we can use it for other things. We could choose to not pay our bills, but then the electric company could choose to turn off our lights. If we choose to ignore our mortgage payment, the bank will choose to take our house. See how this works?

There are exceptions to everything.

I do understand there are times when life spirals out of control and things you had carefully planned fall apart. My sister was in a car accident years ago and was left with over $40,000 in uncovered medical bills. Sometimes the job situation doesn’t work out, I get it. But for the vast majority of Americans we have put ourselves in our own financial messes. We made the choice to move out of our tiny apartment to buy a house we really couldn’t afford. And we had such fun in that house! But if you give a man a house he’s going to want a dog to go with it… and a lawn mower and snow shovels and two cars and another phone and the internet and a video streaming plan and a grill and… and… before you know it, the $9/hour secretary job just isn’t enough.

We absolutely love being debt free.

I haven’t always had a great relationship with money. I would get so mad at people who said, “I can’t afford…” and yet they lived a lifestyle that said differently. But then I found myself saying, “I can’t afford…” and I realized it’s all in perspective. We made a combined total of $8000 our first year of marriage. As we worked more and made more we bought more and being debt-free wasn’t as much of a priority because we didn’t even know where the money was going. When I sit down and look closely at the choices we’ve made the past 12 years of marriage I can see huge financial mistakes we made that put us back. With each raise we started living just a little more comfortably. And that’s okay! That was OUR CHOICE. But to then go and say, “Well, I can’t afford…” doesn’t really make sense.

Being debt-free sometimes means making the choice to nail shingles on your own garage.

I’m choosing this.

When I say, “I’m choosing this.” It brings ownership back on my shoulders. Playing the victim isn’t possible with that phrase. I am choosing to save money! I am choosing to pay extra on the mortgage! I’m choosing to do family birthdays differently. I am choosing to live beneath my means because I have something better in mind for later. Here are some choices we’ve made and continue to make because we absolutely love being debt-free: Paying the internet bill instead of keeping chips on hand. Putting gas in the car instead of going out to the movies. Finding extremely loved used vehicles instead of buying new clothes for everyone in the family. Living in a 600 sq foot home until we got a better paying job in another state.

Being debt-free sometimes means making the choice to watch the sunset on a beautiful date on the prairie.

You get to choose!

I am giving you a phrase that has the power to completely change your outlook on life and money whether you are debt-free or not. “I’m choosing this!” You get to choose and you don’t have to be ashamed about it either. I am (97% of the time) not ashamed about the vehicles I drive because we bought them on purpose. We used to buy them on purpose because it was that or nothing. Now we buy used vehicles on purpose because we have really exciting plans for our money.

What are you choosing? Are you pleased with your choices?

My intention is most definitely not to make you feel bad about yourself or your money, but the opposite! If you find yourself feeling sad and thinking, “I can’t afford…” try pepping yourself up with a little “I’m choosing this!” attitude change. It could rock your world. And then go make cake. Because cake is yummy and actually quite affordable.

Laura’s friend Tasha is passionate about encouraging women. She’s a homeschooling mamaX4 who loves to make silly faces in the mirror with her toddler. She and her husband Ben have worked hard to be debt-free (except for their mortgage) and try to choose people over things everytime. She can be found playing on Instagram @hackettacademy and @heavenlyhomemaker and has too many hobbies to name. Most recently she’s been making chocolate cake for breakfast and sending her kids out to pick asparagus for lunch.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Into the Unknown Future

May 10, 2020 by Tasha Hackett 1 Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Staring straight into the unknown future? Afraid? Insecure? Doubtful? Listen to these inspired words of truth from Tasha:

Dear fellow moms (and wives and husbands),

The future is heavy on my mind lately. Who am I kidding, I am always thinking about the future; it’s hard for me to settle down and enjoy the moment. It’s a problem, part of my personality, and a topic for another day. TODAY, I’ve been thinking even more about the future because it is uncertain. More so than it was a few months ago.

In hindsight, nothing about this life is ever certain. God doesn’t promise us sunshiny days and roses. But we get comfortable in our routines and seasons. We know what to expect from day to day. For most of us, dealing with our own emotions and taming our own tongues was enough to keep us busy. And now we have kids who can’t go see their friends at soccer practice, husbands teaching from the basement, family members having babies and we can’t go visit, Grandparents in nursing homes and we can’t see them. And I’m left confused about the future.

What will the rest of 2020 look like? What will 2021 look like?

I woke up to the baby crying out suddenly during the night. My heart pounded and I was short of breath from a nightmare I’d been pulled from. I was being led in a long line of other women by men with guns. A dystopian future. Thankfully, this was a younger, pre-motherhood version of myself and I didn’t have any of my children with me to protect. I can’t even imagine that type of fear. None of us knew where we were being led. We didn’t know anything about the situation except we were in danger and unable to fight against it. In my dream, I fervently prayed over and over, “God send a rescuer, God please send a rescuer, send a rescuer…”

When the baby startled me, in the moments between dreamlife and the darkness of my bedroom with the glowing monitor, I distinctly, clearly, had the thought: He already did.

God already sent the rescuer.

He already won the war. He laid out the path for us to follow. Jesus is the light that came into the world. He shines in the darkness and that light will not be overcome. (John 1:5) My future is secure. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, (neither a virus, nor quarantine and a struggling economy), nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38)

My dreams last night were discouraging, to say the least. Resurging today are memories from nine years ago when I was directly threatened at gunpoint, I have legitimate fears of being out of control and alone, I do not like to feel powerless, or trapped. And yet, even my subconscious, when drowning in those feelings calls out to God to be saved. It swells my heart to know that even when I think I’m not trusting God enough, I actually am.

I’m reminded of the father in Mark 9 who said to Jesus, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief.” Do you relate?

Can you believe and not believe at the same time?

Apparently we can. It’s possible to have fears of the future and yet trust God to save us. I’m not saying we should stay and wallow in that fear. Yikes, no way.

The future may seem uncertain, but maybe we’re just not looking far enough ahead. Today I want to encourage you to fill your mind and heart up with the truth of God’s love. Read encouraging books, talk to encouraging people, write encouraging words. If you don’t know where to start, read all of Romans 8. And then read it again.

Will you share something encouraging with a friend or neighbor today? Write a letter, make a call, send an email, or reach out on social media. They might need to be reminded of something wonderful more than you know.

Love,

Tasha

Tasha, friend of Laura, loves to read good books and talk to good people and write good things. She daily falls short of the glory of God and is graciously covered by the son of the creator of the universe. Neat, right? When she’s not guest blogging for Laura about how you can survive anything, and how she paid off a bunch of debt, she can be found buying googly eyes for her kid’s crafts, folding laundry that will then sit on the couch for three days, and sneaking homemade cookie dough from the freezer.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

A Schedule for a Quarantined Day

April 19, 2020 by Tasha Hackett 2 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Let me check my schedule: Create a workout parody video. CHECK

Who’s having fun?! We are!? (Hint: I schedule fun into my week.)

I schedule Saturdays for playing and Whew! Just finished creating a silly work-out video with my family. We dressed up and I donned some bright pink lipstick. Blue tights, overlaid with my swimsuit. Nothing like a little family fun to get the day going.

“Wow,” you say, “Tasha’s family is so cool. I wish I could be as cool as her.” Well, don’t let me fool you. We completely trashed the house and had cheerios for breakfast all week, pre-packaged chicken nuggets three days in a row because my mind has been so overwhelmed with I-don’t-even-know that I couldn’t think past the next five minutes and then it was time for another meal… and another meal. What is it with these people!? Didn’t I just feed them? I don’t know what day it is anymore. My mom’s birthday was on the 17th and I almost missed it because I was a week behind (thought it was only April 11th) **Face Palm**

I have bad days and good days, BUT I have a daily routine that keeps me mostly sane during this quarantine.

The only way I have survived is maintaining my schedule. Do you have one? Years ago I scoured the internet looking for a Stay-At-Home-Mom routine and didn’t find one I liked. So I made up my own. It morphs through the years, each new kid and season changes it.

Morning Routine and Homeschool Life

The ideal perfect morning would look like this, but more often than not I crawl out of bed at 7 because the baby’s still not sleeping through the night:

5:30 AM Wake // Pray // Meditate on scripture // Stretch

6:00 AM Make bed // Shower // Dress

6:15 AM Drink water // Put (frozen or premade) breakfast in oven // Read // Study

6:45 AM Empty dishwasher // Start laundry // Set out breakfast

Lots of help around here!

7:00 AM Wake kids // Help the littles with Morning List

Too often I let my day start here.

Kids’ Morning List: Make Bed, Get Dressed, PJs Away, Diaper in Trash, Drink Water, Go Potty, Fix Hair, Read Daily Verse, Take Care of Pets. (This list is an anchor and must be done before breakfast.)

Meet Tippy! Our friendly pet rat.

7:15 AM Breakfast and Tidy Kitchen (Kids Help: Clear the Table, Wipe the Table, Sweep the Floor.)

8:00 AM House Blessings (Each kid has a separate daily chore. Gather laundry from all over the house, empty trash, sweep bathroom), Extra Daily Chore, (This will be anything that needs done to maintain the home such as wiping the mirror in the playroom, dusting the piano, vacuuming around the furniture, watering plants, sweeping the entry, lining up shoes, etc. We skip this when breakfast runs late.)

8:30 AM Walk Outside, Online Workout, or movement of some kind. (If nothing else we pretend to be a variety of animals. I have a 7, 5, and 3 year old, so they like that, and we have to keep moving throughout the day because, you know, kids and energy.)

Quack! Quack! Off we go.

9:00 AM Morning Time // School

Morning Time with the Kids, My Favorite!

I learned this term from A Humble Place, but it is a Charlotte Mason homeschooling idea. This is the heart of what is most valuable in our home education. Not worksheets and tests and homework, but singing, and poetry, and beautiful ideas.

Our Morning Time can take anywhere from 10 minutes to a full hour depending on the moods of the kids and what we have going on for the day and if we started on time. I won’t go into much detail, but this is bullet points of what we cover; if short on time, we don’t do everything listed:

Pray for God to speak to us and bless our day

Bible story or scripture to think about

Song from our Hymnal: We sing all the verses to the same hymn for an entire month

Review one or three other hymns from previous months

More Singing: American Folk songs, silly songs, National Anthem

(I excuse myself to put the baby down for a nap right around here, I don’t know what they do while I’m gone for 10 minutes, but they’re all still alive in the living room or on the couch when I get back.)

Pledge of Allegiance

Poetry: We love poetry! This is a lovely book: Favorite Poems Old and New, Selected for boys and girls by Helen Farris. We read 1-5 a day depending on how we feel. I ask, “Shall I stop or read another?” The answer is usually, “More!” I pick one that I like and read it every day for the month along with the dailies. By the end of the month the kids are reciting it with me. We have found many poets we love, Carl Sandburg and Robert Louis Stevenson, to name a couple.

Art Appreciation. We look at prints of famous paintings. We don’t worry about educating ourselves on the style or anything. I just show them the picture and talk about what we see and what we like. “If you were in this picture, what would you be doing?” “What are they doing here?” “What do you suppose he is thinking about?” “Do you think she is sad?” (You can buy many of the prints here. So far Peter Bruegel the Elder is our favorite. Who knew!?)

Nursery Rhymes. Great for little guys and surprisingly still applicable through elementary. I love watching my three-year-old learning along with the 2nd grader. I often find them reciting these while they play through-out the days.

We close with the Lord’s Prayer, sing the Doxology, and a simple Benediction, “May the Lord be with you.” And we answer each other, “And also with you!” (My boy used to say, “May the Yord be wif me.” It was lovely.)

School Time!

Working mostly quietly

After our official Morning Time is over, the youngest wanders off the to play with cars and little animals while I read a chapter book. I find narrative stories that are engaging, yet not dumbed down in the least. A.A. Milne’s “Winne the Pooh” we have read multiple times. Currently we’re reading Richard of Jamestown by James Otis. We’ve read all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books and Chronicles of Narnia. If we are short on time I’ll skip this because Dad will read to them in the evenings, too.

We have many nooks for individual play and quiet time.

I do 10-ish minutes of a reading lesson with the Kindergartener out of Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons by Engelmann. This will take us much longer than 100 days because we do the same lesson two or even three days in a row because she was getting frustrated. Slowing it down has been amazing for her confidence. She is now excited to see progress instead of discouraged when it was difficult. With the 2nd grader we’re using McGuffy’s Eclectic Reader Series a lesson a day, then I assign copy work to both of them. Copy work is often short. We desire a few perfectly written words rather than a whole page of sloppy handwriting. My kids have surprisingly neat handwriting.

The Kindergartener is done with school for the day. The 2nd grader has math practice, or learning new math skills; he’s going through the Math-It packet (Elmer Brooks), and The Complete Book of Math Grades 1-2 (School Specialty Publishing), he looks up a word in the dictionary and we read the definition together, finds a country on the globe and then finds the same country on our large wall map. We then talk about how we could get there from Nebraska. Those things are listed on his schedule; he can complete many of them on his own.

If you’re looking for some simple curriculum that invites family participation, memorizing scripture AND serving your community, I highly recommend Laura’s ebook Learn Your Letters Learn to Serve. This is INCLUDED with your club membership! (Everyone cheers!!)

This map makes us legit homeschoolers, right?

We are often done by 10:30 AM. The kids have free time until lunch. They find all sorts of things to do on their own. (See, and here you thought my kids stuck to a boring schedule all day long.) They have access to craft supplies where they make paper puppets on popsicle sticks and put on shows, draw comic book-style scenes, draw pictures, my girl will often copy her reading lesson to show it off to Dad, they have train sets and blocks and tents, they build towers and dress up and generally make messes everywhere. If it’s nice they run around outside.

Can you find all four!?

I do a variety of things. I may play on my phone, (I know, I know…Instagram is sucking my brain out.), meal prep, do a special project with one of the kids, sew something, read books, call my sisters, clean the bathrooms or other chores, go outside and check on my plum trees (THEY HAVE BUDS THIS YEAR!!), and put lunch in the oven.

11:30 AM Wake up the baby from his nap. Read to him, snuggle, and play.

12:00 Dad comes up from his basement cave where he’s working from home and we eat lunch.

Afternoon

All help tidy the kitchen, switch laundry (2nd grader’s chore), get ready to go outside.

Family walk or outside time (if the weather allows)

Free time

One of many daily creations.

2:00 PM Nap time for baby, quiet time in separate rooms for everyone else. They are not allowed to talk to me or each other until 3:00. The 3 year old usually falls asleep in my bed. I don’t know what the 5 year old does, but she stays in her room with dolls and books and things. The 7 year old plays Legos and looks at picture books and draws in his room.

Finally, I check-out from mom-life in whichever room is the cleanest and causes the least amount of stress, and get incredibly snippy if anyone tries to talk to me during this time. With my laptop I sit and write and write and write. I blog (like now), but mostly I am attempting to write a novel. It’s been three years in the making but I am determined to finish it this year… #goals. I’ll keep you up to date if I ever finish. Because it’s on the schedule, I’m much more likely to do it.

My office!

If I absolutely don’t feel like writing, I read something I want to read and eat a yummy snack that I don’t share with anybody.

3:00 PM The bigger kids are allowed to come out of their rooms and play quietly in the house or go outside. The younger two generally sleep longer.

He naps in my bed because he shares a room.

4:00 PM I close the laptop and come out of hiding. Wake the baby if he’s still sleeping. Dad joins us and we play outside, fold laundry, work on a home project together, grocery shop, meal prep, etc.

5:00 PM Dinner and kitchen clean up.

Evening

6:00 PM Family time. House clean-up, outside time, reading books, listen to music and play, dream and draw plans of the house we’re going to build someday, discuss important things like the most deadly animal in the world: Tiger or Mosquito, I might sew something, paint pictures, kids take baths, go on walks, etc. If I don’t schedule this time in, we miss it! This is my favorite part of the quarantine: Daddy is home every evening.

Group project: Removing wallpaper!

6:30 Baby is ready for bedtime routine and he’s asleep by 7:00

7:00 Dad puts the older three to bed. I finish cleaning the kitchen, fold laundry, bring the laptop back out to work some more, sew something, paint something, waste more time on my phone.

Tasha sitting at sewing machine because playing is on the schedule

One of my many hobbies.

8:00 Lights out for the bigger kids

9-10: Lights out for me. And up again at midnight and 3 AM with the baby.

OKAY!!! That’s the basic outline of our day. Not every day goes by this schedule exactly. But the framework has SAVED my kids and me. They know what to expect, and Dad knows what to expect. They don’t have to ask me “Can I go outside?” “When is lunch?” “Am I done with school?” The answer is on the schedule.

What keeps you grounded?

Beep Beep! The bus is leaving.

Do you have a schedule or routine? Does your family know what to expect each day? Do they know what’s expected of them? This schedule has been a life-saver, but it’s been through many transformations. It will look differently this summer and next fall when Dad goes back to work.

Tell me, how is your day planned out?

Tasha, friend of Laura is a stay-at-homeschool-mom to four kids. When she’s not writing about money and birthdays and how to survive anything, she can be found Instagramming for Laura @heavenlyhomemaker, producing something from a variety of creative hobbies, sneaking treats she doesn’t want to share with her family, and repurposing old shirts into toddler dresses. She and her family recently bought two-acres of prairie and are dreaming of a little house to build on it.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Top 5 Birthday Budget Tips

April 8, 2020 by Tasha Hackett 1 Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Ready to read Tasha’s Top 5 Birthday Budget Tips?

Can you have a great birthday on a budget?

Duh! Of course. Okay, but really, when your family is used to something and things and times are changing (like being stuck at home during a pandemic), how do you have a great birthday? Perhaps you’re starting a new budget that doesn’t include extravagant gifts, what do you do?

Peter is one

My youngest just turned one. (Yay!) We celebrated him ALL DAY. Peek-A-Boo was played as often as he wanted. We snuggled and snuggled and snuggled. We served pasta (his favorite) with Easy Chocolate Fudge Pie (his favorite). Lighting a birthday candle was a highlight. (He loved it, we blew it out and lit it multiple times). We gave high fives (his favorite) and Pound It! (his favorite), we sang Happy Birthday at least 20 times throughout the day. We danced with him (his favorite); the kids and I got down and crawled on the floor. We cheered and laughed and clapped when he took five steps! He is loved and he knows it.

This is how much he loves homemade chocolate pie!

Oh, and did I mention, we didn’t buy him a thing. Not a single thing. It was a great example to my other kids how we can have birthdays without presents.

“He was one, so it doesn’t count,” you say.

What about the big/little kids?

Another turns eight this month, his day will look entirely different. He can play a mean game of Peek-A-Boo, but it’s not his favorite. He might notice if he doesn’t get any presents. For him, I’m thinking Lego challenges as a family (he will win because he’s amazing), a one-on-one donut (take out) date with Dad (his favorite), a walk around town just the two of us (his favorite), charades, crazy-silly LOUD dance party (his favorite), hide-and-seek (his favorite), tag, all the popcorn he could possibly eat (his favorite), a show, and a family slumber party in the living room (his absolute favorite).

Notice a favorite trend here?

We’ll talk in advance about some of our plans so he’ll know what to look forward to. His siblings and I will pick out one gift together, (new drawing pens and notebook) but we don’t want that to be the focus of the day.

Here are the top five things I’ve learned about money and stuff and birthdays.

1. Budget, Budget, Budget.

Fancy word for: Set aside. Take some money each payday specifically for buying gifts and throwing a party and set it aside. Budgeting doesn’t mean not spending money, it just means you know where your money is going. Budget whatever makes sense for your family. If you love to buy expensive gifts, that’s your choice! (And can I be your friend? I’m super into kitchen appliences and tennis shoes with super cute summer dresses. In case anyone was wondering.) Just make sure the money is there for it.

2. Kids are stronger than you think.

They don’t need stuff to be happy. (And neither do we, except for blentecs and robotic vacuum cleaners. *Ahem*)

My oldest was crushed after a hard conversation about what he wasn’t getting for Christmas. I felt terrible. The thing he wanted just wasn’t in the budget, it wasn’t something we wanted in the house, and it didn’t fit with what we were trying to make Christmas about. He was sad for half a day and he got over it. Whoop-De-Do.

Therefore, I give you permission to not feel guilty about not buying more stuff. Permission granted to feel wonderful about making great memories. You know your child better than anyone, let the day be about him, not about what you bought. Decide ahead of time something to do instead.

3. Plan ahead.

Talk about expectations of the day as a family well before the event. “We are going to celebrate you by…doing all these fun and awesome things that are your favorite… so there won’t be many wrapped up presents this year.”

Focus on what you will be doing, not what you’re not doing. What does she like to do with you? Can you spend the whole day just enjoying her? Brainstorm with the whole family ways to celebrate and make memories. This can be extravagant budgeted excursions or completely free. (Mamas, unless your man is really into planning things, I give you permission to plan your day and let your family know what you expect of them. Be Specific. If you want breakfast in bed, it might be a good idea to make it ahead of time and show your people where to find it. I recommend something good eaten cold, like this Straweberry Bread.)

4. Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions. (Luke 12:15)

Can I get an Amen!? I need a large poster with this verse. After living a few (many) years on a spending lockdown, when we finally had a bit of cash, I fell into the habit of buying all the things I thought I needed. Remember my Amazon addiction? I did the same for the kids. Suddenly because I could buy stuff, I did. And you know what? They weren’t any happier with the stuff than they were without it. More stuff doesn’t change our hearts and our relationships with others and our relationship with God. We know this, and yet we all fall into a consumerism trap from time to time.

5. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. (Luke 12:23)

Not to take this passage out of context, Jesus wasn’t talking about birthdays OR WAS HE? It totally relates! A child is more than a party, and the birthday more than presents. A present does not a birthday make. (Does everyone hate me yet?) Planning fun activities is more work than buying stuff. (It can be so. much. work.) Trust me, I know what it’s like to have zero energy to organize and throw a party. Sleeping through the night is a luxury these days. Homeschooling little ones who can’t even read?! You’re 5 already, get with the program! (Kidding. I’m kidding.) Whew. I do have to keep this house from falling apart, too. Laundry and dishes and sweeping. Sometimes we even mop! (You know, when somebody brakes a glass full of milk.) How am I supposed to plan a party for a bunch of 3-year-olds?!?

And then I am reminded that life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Being happy is better than being perfect. Last December, my 7 year old was SO FOCUSED on what HE was going to GET, that he could hardly enjoy anything else about Christmas. We are making some changes in our house this year and not because we can’t financially afford to buy presents.

I still want birthdays to be something special.

Truthfully, I used to worry about birthdays because I wanted them to be special and wonderful, but I couldn’t afford to buy nice things. Now that we’ve paid off a bunch of debt, we can afford stuff and I realize we don’t need ‘em. Most of the time I don’t even want it! (Correction. I want new shoes. Shoes are great. I bought three pairs this month and I’m ecstatic. First new shoes I’ve had in 18 months. Somebody send help!) More stuff is often more mess and therefore more work. Then we have to spend even more time clearing out our junk and decluttering.

If you are a Heavenly Homemakers Club member, Laura has put together so many great ideas for celebrating your people. Look under FAMILY TIPS and browse her ideas that make sense for your family. Trip ideas, experience ideas, party ideas. You don’t have to come up with a plan for your family all on your own. Much of the work has been done for you!

I challenge you to find ways to really celebrate and love your people individually. You get to decide what that means. You can spend lots of money, or none of it, but in my experience, I have found the price tag doesn’t correlate with the success of the day.

Answer in the comments: What do you like about the way you celebrate? What would you like to do differently? Do you have a favorite childhood birthday memory?

tasha Tasha, friend of Laura, and fellow homeschooling mama, lives in the middle of America and does her best to keep the floors clean. Hahaha. Her kids are currently one, three, five, and seven. When she’s not writing for Laura she can be found on Instagram @heavenlyhomemaker, sneaking Jalapeno Cheetos, painting with her kids, pretending she likes to garden, and watching Star Wars with her husband.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Recipe for Survival in the Midst of Challenge

March 18, 2020 by Tasha Hackett 10 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Struggling with all the changes happening right now? Tasha shares a recipe for survivial in the midst of challenge!

Recipe for Survival in the Midst of Challenge

by Tasha Hackett

Life as we know it has changed and is changing. Seasons come and go. School is out, kids are restless, store shelves are bare. What should we be doing? To give us some tips for survival I’ve interviewed a retired Air Force Officer who went through extensive survival training. He gave me a clear recipe for survival. But first, a story.

In Honor of Popeye

“Just eat it,” he said. “It’s not going to kill you.” Dad scraped canned spinach onto his fork. “Mmmmm.” He washed it down with water from his green Tupperware cup, then flexed his bicep, Popeye style. “Anybody need more?” Sarcasm at his core, he offered up the can of mackerel to his three daughters. “More for me.” He put his fork into the can for another bite; apparently a father’s way of showing off to teenage girls.

The girls did not honor him with an answer. Robin, at 11, teeth biting down on curled-in lips, sat in silent defiance. Her entire body challenged, “Just try to make me eat this.” Michelle, 14, kept her head down as the tears slowly dripped down her face. Tasha, 13, simply stared at him. Her attention kept straying to the pantry full of other, more desirable, things to eat.

Mom was out for the day and it was Dad’s chance to teach his children how to do hard things. Hard things like eating lunch. A can of each: Mackerel, Diced Tomatoes, and Spinach, scooped onto the plates in three sloppy, wet, juicy piles.

Tasha knew how to work this system. Stay under the radar. Take a tiny nibble. Fiddle with her water. Keep her face even, her mouth shut. Just waiting for him to leave the room so she could dump the rest in the trash and go on with her day. A missed lunch wouldn’t ruin her.

Mom would be home before dinner.

Hallelujah.

Except he didn’t leave. He sat. And waited. “Eat it.” His blue eyes focused on her. All sarcasm removed.

A sob escaped Michelle. Robin did take a bite and audibly gagged. “Ew, Ew, Ew!” frantically chugging water. Gagging, with a heavy dose of complaining, she ate more of the cold, mushy, slimy spinach.

Tasha rolled her eyes. “Good grief,” she thought. Her sisters were so dramatic. Mixing together a bit of the spinach, tomato, and mackerel, she ate it. Slowly, systematically, the whole plate. Yes, it was gross. Disgusting even. It was cold and wet.

Chew, chew, swallow. The mackerel wasn’t so bad, though nothing about it was appealing. Something about scales and backbone still clinging to your lunch is unnerving, but it was at least fish. Tasha didn’t care for tomatoes on a good day, much less a soggy pile of them from a can. That spinach though… Lord have mercy. It is nearly impossible to swallow without gagging. When her dad wasn’t looking she released a shiver from head to toe. She wouldn’t award him with a reaction, but she sent a nasty face at his retreating back. Her younger sister looked at her, shocked at her audacity! Dad now stood at the sink, rinsing his plate.

Lunch was a wrap, he went back to his home office to finish grading papers for his University courses.

The three girls looked at each other. Michelle still cried at the injustice. Robin was scared he might come back and see Tasha making fun of him. Tasha spit her last bite into the trash. Carefully, quietly. She covered the evidence.

“Come on, Robin. Let’s go.” The two younger girls took care of their now empty dishes, dumped the cans in the trash and fled the house to run free. It is rumored Michelle sat at the table for the rest of the afternoon. At least until Mom returned.

Robin would be hungry. Tasha would survive.

At Least, That’s How I Remember It

The year was 2000 and we were slowly using up our over abundant supply of canned food. I could ask Dad and find out what was going on in his head at the time, but I’d rather keep my childhood spirit alive. Probably had something to do with the fact he had better things to do than fuss over lunch, “Here’s some food, eat it.” Perhaps he thought his daughters would learn a thing or two about First World Problems and be grateful for what was offered. Maybe it’s because we had a case of canned spinach expiring. Nobody wants to eat canned spinach, ever, unless it’s the end of times; even then I’ll take my chances.

Regardless, it has turned into a great family story I enjoy bringing up, “Hey Dad, remember that one time you made us eat canned spinach?” And then we all groan and laugh and shiver and poke fun at each other while he shakes his head and mumbles something about ungrateful children.

My Dad was a Prepper.

You may remember the drama of Y2K? We had a basement full of supplies. By October of 1999 our pantry was ready for whatever may come after New Year’s Eve. We’d been stocking up on canned foods from Aldi for months. There was no need for a last minute dash to the stores for us! We were prepared.

As a 13 year old Daddy’s girl, I was on-board with this preparation business. (Not the canned spinach and tomato business.) Excitment coursed through me and I felt this grand sense of adventure just waiting to happen. I had read all the I Survived books, as well as Hatchet, Brian’s Winter, The Long Winter, and My Side of the Mountain. I was READY to experience a true disaster.

Thankfully, nothing happened, at least not in my little world. We didn’t even get to experience the rush to buy toilet paper! Because we were already prepared.

Some think Dad was overreacting, overcautious, paranoid even.

Spoiler: He Wasn’t Worried

He wasn’t paranoid; he was preparing; he was wise; he was forward thinking. Y2K was another opportunity to teach his family how to be ready. We always had a pair of shoes under the bed, we knew where to meet in case of an emergency, and there was a blanket, gallon of water and jar of peanut butter in the back of the car in winter.

Incidentally, why store 5 lbs of wheat when you can store 50? Or 150? The national problem right now is because most people AREN’T prepared. They rushed out at the last minute to buy ALL THE TOILET PAPER. Hey World… if the end is near, toilet paper is going to be the least of your worries.

So what now?

Let’s say you weren’t prepared. Let’s say you weren’t prepared and you weren’t the one to buy all the toilet paper.

I called my dad. You’re welcome. As a retired Air Force Officer, he also went through Marine’s and extensive survival training covering survival in the ocean, forests, and enemy territory, etc. I didn’t ask him about the canned spinach incident, I asked what should people be doing RIGHT NOW. The people who are anxious, and worried, and scared. The ones who feel like the world has stopped and life as we know it is going to change forever.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO RIGHT NOW?

Should I go and see if there’s any toilet paper left!?!?!? When I asked him that, he literally became exasperated and began to lecture me until I told him I was kidding. KIDDING. I’m going with, “No,” in answer to that one. Here’s the gist of his advice for you.

Recipe for Survival

Remain calm.
Find someone who knows more than you about the situation and ask what to do. [Stop watching fear promoting news.]
Understand that your standard of living will change and likely decrease. [See #1]
Things will seem much easier when you accept #3. [See #1]
Assess what you need for life:
1. Air [See #1. When you panic, your oxygen intake decreases which dramatically impairs thinking and rate of survival.]
2. Protection from the elements [Sub-zero or extreme heat]
  1. Can you make it through the next 8 hours? [YES]
3. Sleep [See #1. Sleep is higher on the list than either food, water, and especially toilet paper.]
  1. Can you survive the next 24 hours? [YES]
4. Water
5. Food
  1. Can you make it through the next 2 days? [YES]
Start drafting a plan for short-term and long-term survival. If you need practical step-by-step guidelines, this would be a good time to go through your home and take note of what you have. See #1 and #3
1. Now you get to MacGyver your way out of any situation. [He says this is the fun part.]
Review steps 1-6 and realize that the current situation is not cause for much drama.

Too Much?

Do these steps seem extreme to you? I hope they do. I doubt any of us are in a situation where oxygen, the elements, sleep, and clean water are even on our radar. For me, taking stock of the basics helps me realize the interruption of our daily routine isn’t cause for alarm.

Be wise, be calm, go to bed on time, and drink water.

Thanks, Dad.

father sleeping with baby on chest Tasha, friend of Laura, was born on a military base in Maine, lived in nine different places before college, four homes and three towns to date since marriage in 2007. She currently lives in the middle of the USA where God has blessed the earth with extreme versions of all four seasons. When she is not feeding her family of six, including her middle-school-science-teaching husband, three sons and daughter, she can be found sewing, painting, sneaking Jalapeno Cheetos, dreaming of forests, staying out of debt, Instagramming for Laura at @heavenlyhomemaker and looking snazzy in a vintage tweed blazer while attempting to write an encouraging article with a baby on her lap.

5.0 from 3 reviews

How To Survive Anything

Save Print

Prep time

5 mins

Total time

5 mins

Author: Tasha's Dad

Ingredients

1. Remain calm.
2. Find someone who knows more than you and ask what to do. [Not news stations that cause more fear.]
3. Understand your standard of living will change and likely decrease. [See #1]
4. Things will seem much easier when you accept #3. [See #1]
5. Assess what you need for life:
a. Air [See #1. When you panic, your oxygen intake decreases which dramatically impairs thinking and rate of survival.]
b. Protection from the elements [sub-zero or extreme heat]
Can you make it through the next 8 hours? [YES]
c. Sleep [See #1. Sleep is higher on the list than either food, water, and especially toilet paper.]
Can you survive the next 24 hours? [YES]
d. Water
e. Food
Can you make it through the next 2 days? [YES]
6. Start drafting a plan for short-term and long-term survival. If you need practical step-by-step guidelines, this would be a good time to go through your home and take note of what you have. See #1 and #3
7. This is when you get to MacGyver your way out of any situation. [He says this is the fun part.]

Instructions

Print recipe and review steps 1-6 as often as necessary and realize that the current situation is not cause for much drama.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Should You Give Kids an Allowance?

March 11, 2020 by Laura Leave a Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Should you give kids an allowance? That’s a great question with many different opinions!

I’m not going to answer with a simple yes or no. But I will share with you what we’ve done!

Why should you listen to my advice? You maybe shouldn’t, simply because every family is different, every kid is different, and there are many ways to handle allowance and teach your kids how to handle money!

My experience spans 22 years of parenting. Our oldest son, the 22-year-old, is a great money manager, as is our 20-year-old, our 18-year-old, and our 15-year-old. Some of them are a little more willing to spend their money on occasional splurges while some of them much prefer more padding in their savings accounts. But what I want to say is this: The way we handled allowance with our kids when they were little and as they became big? It worked.

But ha, there’s more! God blessed us with Bonus Boys!! So we’ll be starting this method all over again with our six-year-old and later when our 1-year-old “comes of age.” Seems it’s a good thing I’m dusting off this old trick so we can use it all over again in a few months!

Should You Give Kids an Allowance?

We did give our kids an allowance – for a time.

When they turned the magic age of 7, we started giving our kids a whopping $4/month, which usually equaled $1/week. (By the way, we tried it when our oldest turned 5 but found he was a bit too young to understand saving and spending concepts we were trying to teach.)

We made this allowance-giving experience kind of a big deal by presenting them with a brand new wallet on their 7th birthday. Then we gave them 4 one-dollar bills to put inside their new wallets – beautiful pieces of green to an eager 7-year-old!

While we’d already started talking about simple money spending and saving concepts long before they turned 7 – this is when we started giving them more responsibility and freedom. Why?

So that they could begin to learn how to manage their very own money.

$4 isn’t very much. But we found it didn’t take much to help them learn some basic healthy money skills.

It is worth noting that we didn’t require them to do chores in order to earn this $4 allowance. It was simply a monthly allowance. The chores?? Oh, they did them! They just didn’t get money for them. And they didn’t even know they were called “chores” ha! (I learned this one day when they were at a friend’s house and they shrugged when their friend asked what chores they did at home. “I don’t know. We don’t have chores.” The friends were so jealous…until I cleared it up that my kids helped around the house all day long, we just never called this kind of family teamwork “doing chores.” But anyway…)

We didn’t set up specific guidelines for how they were to go about using their $4 allowance. We simply offered guidance and talked them through options for how they might enjoy their new money freedom.

We let them know that the money they gave at church would now be from their own wallet instead of from ours. Usually, we helped them break one of their dollars into 4 quarters so they could give one quarter each week. They BEAMED when they put their very own quarter in the offering plate!!
We helped them recognize more about the cost of items from the store. Our kids already knew by then not to ask for “things” when we shopped. But now we were able to say “you can save your money for that if you’d like to buy it” if they saw something they liked while shopping. Often the desire for said “things” would fade quickly when they realized how long it would take to save for the purchase. So they began to learn more about saving and investing in what truly meant something to them.
We emphasized how nice it is to save money for bigger needs or desires. If our kids would have chosen to spend their entire allowance money amount each month (after setting aside some for giving) – we would have let them. But would you believe – not one of them ever did. It took very little time for them to learn the joy of watching the stash of dollar bills grow in their wallets.

Every once in awhile, one of our little allowance-receivers would spend a dollar here or there on a dollar store item. This was fine and fun and good for their learning experience too! We always talked about a purchase before taking the plunge!

But I believe they had learned from our example of being more of a saver than a spender. We don’t buy stuff for the sake of buying stuff. And so their money-saving mindset began.

How long did we give our kids allowance?

We gave our kids an allowance until they started earning money in other ways.

About the time $4/month became a laughably small amount to our sons – around the age of 10 or 11 – we continued the monthly allowance. But as soon as they found ways to earn money, the allowance allotment stopped. They didn’t complain about this because they were now able to earn $10 on one Saturday morning by reffing a youth soccer game or by mowing a lawn – so they were getting much more than a tiny $4 allowance!

In addition, by that time, they had learned the very basics of money management – our very reason for giving our kids an allowance. By the time our boys started to find ways to earn money, they had a strong sense of ownership and the beginning of wisdom when it came to saving, giving, and spending.

So should you give kids an allowance?

I can’t give you a firm yes or no. But I will tell you this: We’re glad we did! And we’ll do it again when Brayden turns 7.

At this point, he and I talk often at the store about how we spend our money and how we make purchasing choices. He’s catching on quickly – and as much as he already loves putting coins from our pockets into the offering jars at church (specifically earmarked for children in Ecuador!) – I can’t wait to see how much he loves using his very own money!

How have you handled allowance at your house?

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

How Tasha Paid off $49,000 in Two Years on a Low Income!

February 9, 2020 by Tasha Hackett Leave a Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

You are going to be so inspired to read about how Tasha paid off $49,000 in two years!

Hi guys! It’s me, Tasha.

My Kentucky roots are urging me to say, “Hey y’all,” but I’m not sure if my northern friends could handle it. I’ve been budging in on Laura’s blog for a couple months now. I’m the one who feeds her kids a dry crust, likes to set goals, had an Amazon addiction, paid off all the debt and wants you to know that God really really loves you.

I can’t wait to share with you the wonderful things I’ve learned on this crazy Get-Out-Of-Debt journey! I’m going to start digging into how we paid off (for us) big debt with not-so-big income.

I’ve deleted nearly 10,000 words trying to get this out; you’re welcome. The problem is I keep getting distracted by all the things I want to tell you! I want to write the right story. I want you to hear what I’ve done here and see over the sea of words as I explain the sun to my son and teach him the joy of homophones. Sorry, what was I saying?

How Tasha Paid off $49,000 in Two Years on a Low Income!

No really. How did we live on half our income and give away $49,000 in two years? ($29,000 the first and $20,000 the second.)

BY NOT GETTING DISTRACTED
SETTING A GOAL AND STICKING TO IT

We decided what we wanted to do, we made a plan, we wrote it down, and we stuck to it. It was the theme of the year. For two years.

Deuteronomy 6:7-8 says, “Impress [the old covenant laws] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

We were this intentional with our goal for financial freedom.

Ben and I lived and breathed financial freedom. “Ramsey says…” was perhaps the most used conversation starter at our dinner table. I was going to use the term, Laser Focus. But no, our focus was broad–it encompassed every facet of our lives for two years. We had floodlight intensity.

Our “drastic” first step was to cancel our internet service. Yes, Ben was taking online courses for his MA degree at the time.

As it turns out, the library has internet! For Free! Here’s the basic line-up of what we did:

Eating out? Nope. If we did it came out of the grocery budget. Yikes!

Groceries and Household? $200 a month, with $50 extra for buying All The Butter if it went on sale. Oatmeal was a staple. I could stretch a pound of beef for three meals, but mostly chicken was on the menu. Neighbors are always trying to offload extra garden zucchini and tomatoes. I didn’t buy blueberries. Cream cheese was a treat. I made use of Amazon Subscribe and Save to get 15% off many household items. Sometimes this may have actually cost $1 more than an off-brand at a store, but the time and gas it saved me was worth it. I read recently the average shopper spends $18 to $37 extra on impulse buys every time they go grocery shopping!

These three tagalongs did not eat much at the time.

Dates? One pre-planned show for a highly anticipated film. Many pre-planned home “dates” and free entertainment excursions.

Christmas? Saved $25 a month leading up to December to cover the special food and travel. Our two babies (4 yr and 2 yr) at the time enjoyed homemade gifts and were just as grateful.

Cell Phone? Just one.

Birthdays? Averaged $10. So many fun experiences!

Tithe to local church? YES. Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.

Coffee Shop? $2 once a month when I met with friends.

Vehicles? Paid for. Budgeted $50 a month covered yearly taxes and insurance for both. We drive the cheapest we can find that are still reliable. 1990 Buick is the way to go.

Vacation? Saved $150 a month, camped with the kids multiple times and took an adult only $1000 trip to Denver. Spent six nights in an Airbnb, hiked, relaxed, breakfasted at one delicious French Crepe restaurant, dinner at one 5-star restaurant, other meals from the grocery store.

Beautiful hike just the two of us! I thought I was suffering from severe altitude sickness for five days before taking a pregnancy test! Hello, Baby #4!

Other Gifts? This one was hard. When your kid gets invited to a birthday and begins to notice that other kid getting a bunch of presents when he had a perfectly happy birthday without the presents and now questions why he didn’t get a bunch of presents…. Our standard was to give a lovely hand-made card to the child offering a ONE DAY OF FUN for a playdate at our house. We would arrange afterward with the parents, we would pick up the kid, have special activities planned like a sprinkler or a trip to the park. Everyone had fun without feeling jilted.

Side Hustle? Yes! I took in sewing jobs and alterations for prom dresses, etc. Ben worked early mornings at another job.

Heart Change? Yes. God said, “I am Enough.”

You could take this action plan: Pay off $$ by a certain date. Don’t buy stuff. Don’t go anywhere. Don’t do anything. Work more.

{Haha, I’m dying with laughter over here. I’m of the generation that doesn’t know how to have a written conversation without emojis so this is a struggle for me. I’m laughing-with-all-the-tears.} That plan sounds terrible! That’s what we did, but it was way more fun than it sounds.

We didn’t buy a bunch of stuff because God helped us see that He was enough and to find contentment in Him. We didn’t go places without intention. We did lots of things that were free and affordable. We did have a zoo membership and a pool pass and packed lunches on days we went. We did spend hours at the park and invited friends over to play and grilled hotdogs and danced in sprinklers and listened to music really really loud. We did work more, quite a bit more with multiple side hustles, but God’s peace permeated our financial goals those two years.

Is this the face of a boy who wishes his parents spent more money on him? I see pure joy and childhood bliss.

Don’t be Discouraged!

If reading through our story has brought you more discouragement than hope, chin up! If getting out of debt is something you yearn for please please please take this up with God. Ask him to show you how, ask him for his peace and discipline. Perhaps you really can live on $20,000 for two years and bust it out! But perhaps you are in a place where that is not possible. I really do believe that if you listen to God telling you that He is Enough and lean into him, you will find peace and perhaps a few extra thousand dollars. I have a friend that pays the minimum on all the loans and then an extra $50. That’s a great start!

What about you?

How can I encourage you in your journey? What questions do you have that I can address? What would you like me to cover? Would you like to know actual numbers for our current budget?

I want to hear from you!

P.S. No really. I want to hear from you. Comment below and tell me what’s the craziest thing you ever bought on accident. Mine is face cream for $145 from a mall kiosk during year two. After reading thousands of words of my financial journey, can you believe I spent $145 on a tiny jar of lotion? I don’t know what came over me. Your turn!

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Did Tasha Pay off Her Huge Debt in One Year?

January 29, 2020 by Laura 2 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

I’m sure you’re all wondering: Did Tasha pay off her huge debt in just one year?! Read Part 1 of this compelling sage here!

Did Tasha Pay Off Her Huge Debt in One Year?

by Tasha Hackett

I had decided that I was not going to be in debt forever and better yet, was going to scramble out of it as quickly as I possibly could.

Could we live on half our income? Our one-salary-teacher’s-pay income?

Could we bust out a large portion of our debt in one year? It seemed drastic. But also super exciting because, as mentioned, I am highly motivated by challenges and numbers and worksheets and goals and if we pretended it was all just one big game maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

At the time, our take-home pay was $3,300 a month (Just under $40K a year). That meant we needed to live on $20,000. I knew it could be done because we had been living on that seven years ago… except we’d only had one kid and a smaller house and only one car and one phone and no internet and we never went out or did anything that cost money and ate potatoes and cabbage and beans and eggs and grape juice was a fancy treat. *Whew*

But I saw in my pencil-in-the-margin scribbles: So you’re saying there’s a chance.

What about the rest of my family?

I have the gift of persuasion. Ask my three siblings. And I know what motivates Ben. (Dreams of vacations to Disney World, sport cars, steak…) He began listening to Dave Ramsey Podcasts in the shower and on the way to work, so he was definitely on board with my crazy plan. We named 2017 “Year of Plenty” to remind us that we really did have plenty and that we were making this choice. On purpose.

I’ll skip to the end: It didn’t work.

We couldn’t do it.

By June of 2017 we had paid off only $3000 of the projected $20,000 goal. We had cars break down. A terrible leak in the basement. One thing after another.

In July I fell to my knees and prayed earnestly for God to pay these debts off. I began praying multiple times a day for this specific request. That’s when I realized my debt-pay-off goal was incredibly self-centered.

God did a number on my attitude about money that year. When I realigned my will with God’s and continued to petition his aid, He delivered. As he does over and over. I am no longer surprised by this, just expectant of his wonderful plans, though it took me 32 years to get there.

By December 31, 2017 we had paid off a total of $29,000.

Whaa!?!? I know. That’s nine thousand more than planned. I can’t even. God does amazing things. I’ll go into detail later on what living on half our income really looked like. For now just rest assured that what is impossible with man is possible with God. I’m not preaching a health and wealth gospel to you.

I’m telling you that I was sick of being where we were and so I asked and let God change our hearts.

I was sick of “being poor” and realized, with a heavenly tap on the shoulder, that I wasn’t poor. I had plenty. More than plenty. I just needed a fire under me to get started. I needed a reason to do this hard thing. I needed to see a light at the end and begin to hope and plan and dream of a different kind of financial life. When a family requests money to fund their mission work in Ecuador I can say, “Absolutely!” and write off a thousand dollar check and not worry about feeding my family. We had one year of plenty which opened our eyes to enjoy a year of generosity, and early 2019, except for our home mortgage, we finished off all debt, including Ben’s MA degree and baby number four medical bills… and…. What are we going to do next? (besides buy that Blentec??)

We’re going to Disneyland!

All six of us, on a plane, to stay in a hotel, to enjoy the beach and frivolous theme park extravaganza. And we’re paying cash for all of it. The freedom we’re experiencing from 2 ½ years of “extreme” consumer sacrifices is TOTALLY WORTH IT.

My seven year old recently asked me, “Mom, are we rich?” I answered without a pause. “Yes! We are rich.” My four year old chimed in, “What is rich?” I answered, “Rich is having enough money to buy all the things you need.”

Someday they’ll grow up and think maybe I lied to them. But I pray they always feel rich, that they can distinguish between need and want, that they learn at an early age how to tell their money what to do, that they will live generously with whatever God will provide.

We have new and challenging and exciting financial goals for 2020 because we now understand, because we have plenty and are so rich, that if we don’t have a set plan for our money it will walk away all by itself.

I can’t wait to share with you all the things I’ve learned and am still learning on this journey.

See ya ‘round,

Tasha

P.S. I know you’re saying, “Wait! This was a why story, what about the how?” I know! This too shall come. In the meantime, drop a note below. Do you have a goal for your money this year? What motivates you to pay off your debt? Are you having trouble finding a motivator? Are you debt-free? How does it feel!?

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

Can You Live on Half Your Income to Pay Off Debt?

January 15, 2020 by Laura 5 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Tasha’s back! This time she’s sharing the introduction to her story – how she decided to help get their family out of debt. But wait? Live on half your income? Is it possible on a teacher’s salary?

If you haven’t already, you should read the intro to the intro here. :)

Once Upon a Time When We Were Broke

by Tasha Hackett

Cue Fairytale Music:

Narrator: Once upon a time in a kingdom near you there lived a little girl named Tasha. Literally, she’s only 5 foot and a hundred pounds. She was the mother of four children. She was married to her King, and she was Queen of her castle and bought herself a Blentec because she had money for it and she wanted it.

Cue Record Scratching

Tasha: Excuse me? Um, no. That’s not at all how it happened. Back up a few years.

Take Two.

Cue Fairytale Music:

Narrator: Once upon a time in a kingdom near you lived a mother of one little prince. She was married to her King and she was the Queen of her castle… and she… had… a blender that worked well enough…

Cue Record Scratching

Tasha: Nope, just stop. I’ll take it from here. Thanks.

Hi, it’s me, Tasha. Can I tell you a story? My working title is…. “The Story of How I Decided to Not be Broke Anymore” or we could paraphrase: “My Journey to the Blendtec” Haha. I kid. This story has nothing to do with blenders. Or does it!?

Seven years ago, Ben and I had one little baby boy. Ben worked afternoons and weekends and went to school full time (at a not-at-all-cheap private college). I worked full time in an office. Baby went from Daddy, to daycare, to me, and round and round.

We were broke.

To be fair, we were broke long before that, we just didn’t understand how much until there was a baby involved and diapers and daycare and medical bills and carseats…

A friend from school worked as a financial advisor. He asked if he could stop by and chat. Sure! Then he tried to educate us on the benefits of investing, and mutual funds, and retirement, and bla bla bla – I heard and understood nothing. He kept asking, “What do you want?” Expecting us to have these big dreams, and big things we wanted to buy or go or do.

As I wasn’t hearing him, I’m not sure he was hearing me.

After a while, I jumped off the couch and rifled in the closet for a minute and brought back our money jar. I brought it in with a flourish. In it contained our savings. A few dollars of change and almost $50 in cash.

I knew I was being dramatic. But I set the jar on the coffee table and told him, “What I want is to go to the grocery store and buy food for my family without my heart racing because everything is too expensive.” Our meeting ended shortly after, we said thanks anyway, parted as friends and went on our merry, happy, broke way.

Fast forward a few years. I’m a stay-at-home mom to two kids. Ben is now a middle school teacher making $35,000. This was SO MUCH MONEY!!! So. much. (By the way, I’m going to bust through that awkward social norm and use real numbers with you.)

He started at $28,000 in Kansas. Now at $35K, we ordered pizza every Friday ($15) and went out for donuts every Saturday ($4). I bought the real whole food ingredients that I needed to make food for my family ($?). I was making some of Laura’s recipes that included the luxury of cream cheese and chocolate chips. We called back our friend and said, “We’re ready now!” We were finally ready and peaceful about investing for retirement.

AND YET!!! Somehow we were still broke. This was three years ago (after investing for a year), and I was now the mother of three children. I had a sad, “oh-poor-me,” moment and whined something like this to our financial guy, “I feel like we’re just barely keeping ahead! Are we going to be poor forever… ? I just… when are we going to be able to take our family on trips, are we ever going to be able to go places and do big things?”

And he said something like this, “… it’s going to take a long time.”

The Breakthrough

I don’t know what it was in those words, but SOMETHING CHANGED in me. The debater and controller and adventurer in my soul said, “Challenge Accepted.” I had found a motivator. I had found a WHY that spurred me. A silly thing in hindsight, of all the reasons, for me it wasn’t the big trips or the future RV or the new clothes from an actual store, but the challenge itself that I was NOT going to let it take a long time.

This was October 2016. I ran the numbers over and over. Scraps of paper littered our house with pencil marks and budget plans scribbled in the margins. I started keeping a detailed track of how much was I really spending on groceries every month. How far could a tank of gas get me? If I cut out this and that could I stretch it this far…? The question I was trying to answer:

Could we live on half our income?

To be continued…

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!