Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

How to Ask for Help

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Here’s how to ask for help. See also: How to say yes to offers of help. Ready? Let’s do this!

Why ask for help?

First, we should probably tackle the reasons we need to ask for help. Is it because we are weak and needy? Well, yes actually. But not in the negative way we typically use those words.

I’ll reshare what I wrote a post a couple of years ago explaining Why You Need to Say “YES” to Offers of Help! The reasons included:

  1. You don’t want to miss out on the powerful work of the Holy Spirit on your behalf through others.
  2. We are called to live a life of humility.
  3. Because…we need it. We. Need. Help.

You can read all the words I said about each of those points here. But in summary, when people offer to help you? Say yes. You’re missing out on more of God’s goodness if you don’t!

So we need help. But…

Why do we struggle to ask for help?

Straight up: I believe that the reason we struggle to ask for help is that we are ashamed. We are holding onto pride. We don’t want to admit to ourselves that we actually need help. We don’t want to appear weak. We would rather be the helper, not the one who needs help.

Stop it.

  1. There is nothing to be ashamed of when asking for help.
  2. Ungodly pride is sinful and keeps us in a place of hurt.
  3. It’s time for us to admit that we most certainly need help!
  4. You can still be a helper. You can also be helped. This is a win-win. Keep reading!

If asking for help is hard for you, it’s time to stop reading this and pray. Ask God to show you how to ask for and say yes to help. Ask Him to heal your pride and to help you acknowledge your needs. Ask Him to fill you with peace and to provide you with answers. Then watch Him be at work for your good!

How I learned to ask for help

The short story is that God didn’t give me a choice. During the past three years, He has filled our home with foster and adopted children, giving us a current total of nine kids as I write this. I currently have three in diapers, one with extra medical needs, and two who are trauma survivors.

My days are so full and the needs in our home are so great that if I didn’t ask for and receive help, I would be drowning.

Right now, I absolutely cannot keep up with laundry. I cannot keep up with dishes. I cannot keep my floors clean. I am running and chasing and training and snuggling and disciplining and in general keeping tiny humans alive all day long. Plus I have a calendar full of meetings, appointments, and events. Caseworkers, therapists, doctors, WIC, lawyers – my phone blows up constantly. My door is revolving with people coming in and out. Sometimes I don’t have time to eat lunch.

Also, I have four older kids. Three out of four have launched, but I’m still their mom. I try to attend their events, answer the phone when they call, offer advice when asked. Our high schooler needs help with school work and guidance in many other ways. I’m not complaining! I’m just sharing the many reasons that:

I have to have help. And I love that God has helped me to embrace my needs and to reach out and ask. The response is overwhelmingly beautiful.

You might be saying to yourself, “Well, I don’t have tons of kids. I don’t have any special needs right now. I am not like you. I can handle my life without help.”

But I caution you to be open-hearted as you consider your true needs. We all need help daily. Some days we need more help, some days we need ALL THE HELP, and some days we may just need a friend to pray for us. Whatever it is you’re doing, be prayerful about humbly accepting help.

Here are some examples of the ways I’ve asked for help JUST THIS WEEK:

  • Can you go with me to Malachi’s soccer game and help me chase kids on the sidelines?
  • Can you come help me clean my kitchen?
  • Can you come watch kids so I can get some blog work done?
  • Can you come over at 3:40 and stay with sleeping littles while I go pick up Sister?
  • Can you make those cookies we love so much so I can serve them with our college student lunch on Sunday?
  • Can you fold the laundry piled up on my bed?
  • Can you come stay with the kids while I go to the chiropractor?
  • Can you come help put kids to bed while we go to Justus and Elias’ performance?
  • Are you available to go get my Walmart pick-up order for me?
  • Can you pray for me? Pray for Baby? Pray for…

Sometimes, I don’t even have to ask. Often, because we have been open to help, people reach out and ask what we need.

I have learned that if someone asks to help me, this is God at work in my life for my good. I will not say no to God’s work in my life for my good. So before I answer, I stop and pray. Then I say yes to their offer and tell them what they can do to help me. Why? Because:

I WILL NOT SAY NO TO GOD’S WORK IN MY LIFE FOR MY GOOD.

Say this out loud. Proclaim it for yourself. May God transform us all into people who joyfully receive help when we need it!

Don’t feel guilty. Feel grateful!

Recently I was in the hospital for an unexpected few days with our baby girl. She was my full-time focus, but we had all of our other children at home needing to be cared for. I called on many people to help, and they all went above and beyond.

I didn’t feel guilty about needing help. I didn’t feel bad about asking for help. I didn’t feel weak for needing help.

Instead, I felt grateful that we have such a loving community surrounding our family. I felt joyful that so many were willing to step in and meet our family’s needs. I felt overwhelmed with all the goodness God provides through His people.

Often the Help is Mutual

Here’s one of the biggest truths I’m learning: When people come to help me, I am helping them too. No one is keeping score. This is simply the beauty of how God works!

Some of our biggest helpers are college students. This has turned into a win-win! They bring over their laundry to throw in while they are helping with our kids. They come over as dating or engaged couples and are being given the opportunity to serve together while they grow in their relationship. They bounce babies while I’m cooking and they learn valuable kitchen skills while they observe. They sweep my floor while we talk about Jesus, giving us both the opportunity to grow as I mentor them and they encourage me. Do you see the beauty in this!?!

Start with prayer

It’s time to learn to ask for help. You can do this, and you need to! We all need to! Listen to God’s direction about this, and obey. Ask Him to show you what kind of help you need. Let Him tell you who to ask and how to ask.

Then watch as He provides the answers, the help, and the humility. Be amazed as peace and love fill you in ways they never could before you reached out for help.

God is good. He is the ultimate helper. Say yes to Him!

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How I’m Using the Christian Living Bundle With My Family

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This week, I’ve been sharing ways we try to keep God as center in our home. How we are making good changes for our kids, especially our teenager. How we love church, but know that our kids need more. Here’s how we make God a part of every day.

I’ve also shared about the Christian Living Bundle that is being offered this week. Today is the final day it is being offered, and I don’t want you to miss it. So I’m going to highlight some of the ways we’re using the resources with our family.

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

But do I really love it?

Ultimate Bundles are always good. Still, I only promote a couple of them a year, and only when I feel that they contain a worthwhile amount of content I can stand behind. The price of the bundles is always amazing considering the amount of resources we get. And because of the low price, even though the bundles contain dozens of materials, I can at least truthfully say something like:

Even if you just use 10 of these products, you’ll be getting your money’s worth!

But with this Christian Living Bundle that I’m sharing with you this week, I can actually say:

You’ll use almost all of the 50 resources in this bundle! Why? BECAUSE THESE MATERIALS ARE CENTERED AROUND OUR CHRISTIAN LIVES!!!!

And yes, that’s a lot of exclamation marks and maybe it sounds salesy and cheesy. That’s not my intent and you know I’m always honest with you.

I’m proclaiming all of this because I love that this bundle is all about Christian Living. This is what actually matters. Food and good health and productive homemaking matter. But what truly matters most is Jesus. And this bundle is all centered around Him!

It’s very hard to pass up such a great collection when the books and courses all point us Upward! These encourage us and teach us to pray more, to be in the Word more, to teach our kids about Jesus, to combat enemy lies, to love our spouses better…

Get it if you can. I plan to use almost all of these in our home. And I even created $21 worth of bonuses as a thank you to everyone who purchases through our links —>

The Christian Living Bundle Facts

  • Price: $29.99 + $10.00 cheat sheets
  • Value: 50 resources worth $1,182.78
  • Contents: 17 eCourses & 14 printable packs, 11 workbooks & 8 eBooks
  • Bonuses: $58
  • Laura’s Bonuses: $21

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

Want the math facts on this? The price divides up to each of these resources costing just $0.60 each! I think that’s fun, especially since many of my favorites in the bundle individually cost around $15 or more!

What I’m using for myself so far:

  • Candid Conversations – a wonderfully intriguing read filled with testimonies from over a dozen Christian women about their real struggles and ways God has helped them to overcome.
  • Every Thought Captive: Body-Mind-Spirit Exercises for Emotional Regulation – I love this!!! Many of the exercises described in this book are some that my Christian therapist uses. It’s great to have these as a resource to use on my own as needed. Get rid of the lies! Replace them with God’s truth! Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ!
  • Fruit of the Spirit Yoga Series – I actually haven’t started this yet. But I signed up and can start just as soon as I have a minute to myself (toddler naptime hopefully!).
  • Gospel Love: How to Apply 7 Key Teachings of Jesus to Live Your Best Marriage eCourse – These are great videos and materials that Matt and I can use to grow our own marriage and to mentor the young couples who come to us for encouragement and counseling.

See these, and everything else included, here.

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What I’m using so far with Brayden (age 7), Sister (age 5), Keith (age 2), and Brother (age 2):

  • Walking with God: Bible Lessons for Families – This is such a fun online series of lessons! They include great videos that are short and appealing to kids. Our kids are having so much fun learning the Bible stories through video. Then we talk about it, sing the songs, do some of the offered activities. So far, the kids have really been enjoying this!
  • Alphabet Maze + Bible Verse Superhero Activity Bundle – This includes mazes, coloring, games, and other educational activities infused with bible verses and faith-based activities to create hours of fun and learning for children. These are perfect for quiet time learning.
  • Children’s Easter Coloring Book – There are pages for adults to color too, so sometimes we sit down together and color and visit about Jesus’ love for us as he died, and His power as He defeated death and rose again!
  • Miracles and Parables: Read and Color Stories from the New Testament – I haven’t done it yet, but I’m planning to print these for the kids so we can make books to work through this summer to focus on learning miracles and parables of Jesus with these read and color printable storybooks.

See these, and everything else included, here.

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What I’m using with Malachi (our 16 year old)

We’ve either started these or plan to during the next weeks and months:

  • Intentional Living Through Prayer – prayer prompts for every day of the year. These offer such great cues and inspiration to walk teens (and all of us!) through praying intentionally.
  • 30 Day Retreat With God – I love everything about this one! It helps us dig into learning more about who God is so we can love and serve better. It’s practical and simple to work through. A super helpful resource to give us topics to discuss and pray over.
  • A Grateful Heart Bible Study – It’s too easy to be negative and to complain. I look forward to going through this study with Malachi as we focus on God’s work in our lives.
  • James: Self Study Workbook – I wanted to read through James with Malachi anyway, and this book makes it so much better!

See these, and everything else included, here.

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The Christian Living Bundle 2021

In short, while I don’t always do this with every bundle, this time I downloaded everything! If I’m not using it now, I’ll use it later. What a gift to have access to all of these!

And don’t forget the bonuses I’m giving you!

I’m excited about these because they answer questions I get frequently. And they are items we use in our home too! When you buy the Christian Living Bundle through our links, we’ll thank you by sending you a file with these printable items:

Bible Reading Guide ($8.00)

I have been working on this resource because it very simply answers frequent questions I get about personal Bible study and about spending Bible time with family.

  • How to Start Reading Your Bible Regularly
  • Three-Step Guide to Make the Bible Meaningful
  • How to Read the Bible with Little Ones
  • Scripture to Read and Discuss with Your Teens

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101 Scripture Focus Cards ($10.00)

I uploaded these to Walgreens and had them print this file onto 4×6 photo cards. We pull them out at mealtime and practice memorizing them as a family. These prompt great discussion too. I especially love this because everyone in our family, from age 2 to age 47, benefit from memorizing scripture!

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Table Talk Cards ($3)

And speaking of great discussion, these cards have been great at mealtime too. All of us at our house, from age 5 to adult can answer the questions on these cards and share them around the table!

 

Get your Christian Living Bundle here, then email me your receipt so I can send you the bonuses. Start digging in with your family. Let God be a part of every moment in every day!

This offer ends at midnight, Thursday, March 25. Get it while you can. Let’s turn our focus to Jesus!

 

Countdown Timer

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More Than Sunday Morning: How Our Family Focuses on God All Week Long

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Today I want to share ways our family focuses on God every day.

I might be crying.

I need you to know that I’m writing this from a place of hardship and humility. Anything good that has come from our parenting has been because God is constantly pursuing us and our kids. He makes up for all of our shortcomings and this humbles me to lay down flat on the floor because we.can.not.do.this.alone.

We don’t read our Bibles and pray and go to church because “it’s the right thing to do.”

We spend so much time in the Word and in prayer personally and with our kids because we desperately need it. We do it because life is hard. We can’t do life without Jesus.

Most of the time I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I can try to parent through my own strength, but all I have to offer my kids is my weak but willing, loving heart with a side of scrambled eggs. When I parent with Jesus, everything is different. I’m different. I’m better.

And I still fail, which makes me mad. I want love to be enough. I want to be enough. And of course, it is and I am – when I parent through God’s love.

My human love is weak. My flesh fails. Sin wages war against us and I have to be in constant prayer to stand firm and help my kids stand firm.

So I’m sharing what we try to do in our home because I know that we aren’t alone in our struggle. Raising kids is a challenge and we have to do it with the help of the Holy Spirit. Raising kids and teens is incredibly difficult. Satan wants to win them and he works hard and I hate him. So now you know.

As I shared yesterday:

Our Kids Need So Much More Than Church.

If we expect our kids to grow up loving God and embracing Jesus and living life through the guidance of the Holy Spirit – but all we give them is an hour of church on a Sunday morning – we might be disappointed with the outcome.

First, our kids need parents who love Jesus and spend time constantly growing a relationship with the Father. So we grown-ups need to be intentionally focused on digging into the Word and letting God teach us His plans for us.

Then, as we grow, our kids grow. We talk about God in our homes constantly. We bring Truth into every situation. We read the Bible together, sing praises together, pray together, discuss Truth together.

Make no mistake: Church is good.

We very much value our church life. We love all that our kids are learning about God and His people when we join our church family on Sunday morning.

  • We worship together in song and in prayer as a body of believers.
  • We grow our relationships with other Christians through fellowship.
  • Our kids get to take part in Bible lessons in their classes.

Our kids learn a lot at church and have formed deep, life-long friendships with Christian peers. They have been mentored and loved by caring adults. Church life is huge!

But it isn’t all that our kids need. It’s not all that any of us need.

We all need 24-7 Jesus. All week Bible. Constant Holy Spirit guidance. A mind and heart that is always in prayer.

How Our Family Focuses on God All Week Long

Our practices at home have evolved through the years and through different seasons. Through each season, our Bible study, prayer life, and Jesus-teaching have been ever-evolving to meet the needs of everyone in our home.

I shared yesterday that one of our biggest challenges now is trying to teach so many little ones without watering it down so much that our 16-year old misses out on deeper study and deeper God-truths that he’s ready for. So we try to be intentional about giving him what he needs while teaching little ones too.

Here’s a gentle rundown of the practices we do daily in our home if possible:

  1. We talk about God and His work in our lives all throughout the day. We make a real effort to make Him a part of everything and every conversation. We praise Him out loud for the nature we see around us, for the food we have on the table, and we bring Him into the discussion as we discipline or correct our kids. (i.e. “Jesus wants us to love each other and be kind. Are you being kind and loving to your sister right now?”)
  2. We use mealtime to learn scripture with a tradition that has come to be known as “Repeat Afters.” Each of us takes turns saying a phrase of scripture and everyone else repeats the scripture phrase. It looks something like this:

    Dad: As far as it depends on you…
    Everyone Else: As far as it depends on you
    Dad: …live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
    Everyone else: …live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

    After everyone has taken a turn being the leader, we have worked our way through five or more verses, depending on who is home at the time.

  3. We have family “Singing and Prayer Time” as part of our little one’s bedtime routine. After the kids are jammied and brushed and pottied or diapered, we gather around the living room. We sing about six songs because we are a family who loves singing! Then everyone, from toddlers to parents, takes a turn saying a prayer.
  4. Next, it’s Bible time. The little ones gather around Dad as he reads from our Jesus Storybook Bible before we head upstairs to tuck everyone in.
  5. As we tuck in the little ones, we do what the kids have started to call “Jesus Loves!” We make a big deal of nighttime kisses saying to each one, “Jesus…loves…BRAYDEN!!!” “Jesus…loves…KEITH!!” and so on. The kids love this and usually giggle when it’s their turn!!!! And what a great reminder to each of them that Jesus loves them.
  6. Finally, we read the entire chapter of Psalm 91 over them as a prayer of protection just before our final goodnight.

Beyond this, during the little one’s naptime many days, Malachi and I dig into the Word together so we can have more in-depth discussion about scripture and applying it to his/our lives. Matt tries to take him (and our college boys) to lunch from time to time so they can visit more individually about godly manhood.

Any college students who happen to be at our house during Singing and Prayer Time get to join us. The singing is amazing, the prayer time is rich. We love this so much!

Extras

Throughout the day or evening, we try to make the most of our video time or reading time. There’s a fun video series on Amazon Prime that we pull up every week. The kids have fun watching the animated version of a Bible story, then we all talk about it to make sure they understand the Truth they just watched.

Since I got the Christian Living Bundle, our 7, 5, and 2-year-olds are enjoying the videos and lessons in the Walking with God eCourse. I’ve also printed off some of the activities from other books in the bundle that are geared toward little ones. They give us a great opportunity to talk about God’s Word and His plans for us.

Malachi and I are enjoying the 30 Day Retreat with God eBook. We’ve been working through it as part of his school day during the toddler’s naptime.

I’ll share more tomorrow about our favorites from the bundle. They’ve been such great resources to add to our daily routines.

My Mornings

Maybe I should have started the post with this, seeing as do everything I can to start my day in the Word. This has become harder again now that we have a baby who doesn’t sleep through the night. But I crave this time in the morning with Jesus and need it so I find that it’s worth it to make myself crawl out of bed, sneak downstairs before the littles get up, fix a cup of coffee, and sit in my chair with Jesus for even a few minutes before starting the day.

God is faithful. He knows what we need. He knows our circumstances. He provides.

Before we started over with new little ones, I had hours of time every week to spend in the Word. Now, my time is more limited, but He sustains and brings scripture to mind even when I am not able to open the Book. I love Him. He is so good.

Read more here about how I spend time in the Word and in prayer every day as much as possible.

We are weak. He is strong!

The enemy attacks any way he can, and we find that we have to constantly stand firm in Truth, remembering that Jesus already won the battle. We fight against weaknesses and find that we have to especially be intentional with our teens. They fight raging battles and need us to fight alongside them.

But at the end of the day, we know that spending time in the Word and in prayer with our children as much as possible is incredibly beneficial to all of us.

  • When we hear our 5 and 7-year-olds praying at night, it is evident that they are hearing and digesting the Truths they are learning.
  • When we have hard discussions with our 16-year old, we hear that his heart is seeking good. His relationship with God is growing and we get to grow with him.
  • When our college kids come home from their dorm/apartment to throw in a load of laundry and they grab a cup of coffee and sit down for a chat, it is evident that God is so much more to them than a Sunday morning “thing we do.” Their relationship with their Father, their recognition of their need for Jesus as their Savior, and their reliance on the Holy Spirit as guide are beautiful to witness.
  • When our oldest makes his way west from his home in Lincoln to spend a few hours with us, and we hear all that he’s doing and all the ways God is working in his life – we marvel at our Savior and at the growth He gives.

THIS IS GOD AT WORK!!!

We realize how important it is and has been to be intentional about growing their relationship with God at home, from age 0 to age forever. No matter what we do and what it looks like, we must be intentional to do something. Our kids need church, but they need much more than church.

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

Resources to Help

The Bible, alone, is enough. We can open it and have all the help we need as we guide our families through life in Him.

But there are also great resources for us to use! Why reinvent the wheel when we can use so many great books, videos, classes, and printables available to us that have been created by people who have learned much and can teach us from what they have learned? I’m loving the resources from the Christian Living Bundle being offered this week, and want you to have it too. Truly, these books and courses are so practical and helpful. Get this and let it help you in your walk and as you guide your family!

QUICK FACTS about the Christian Living Bundle

  • Dates: Monday March 22nd at 8am EST to Thursday March 25th 11:59pm EST 
  • Price: $29.99 + $10.00 cheat sheets
  • Value: 50 resources worth $1,182.78
  • Contents: 17 eCourses & 13 printable packs, 11 workbooks & 9 eBooks
  • Bonuses: $58

After you purchase, send me your receipt and I’ll send you a file with these free bonuses!

I’d love to hear about ways you and your family fill your home with God’s Truth! How do you spend time in the Word in the quiet? How do you teach your kids? What are some of your routines and traditions?

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

When You Need to Make Good Changes for Your Kids. (It’s Never Too Late!)

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He was our baby. He just turned 16. And somehow – well not somehow – but because of God’s power and plan, he’s now the oldest of six.

What and who am I talking about? I’m talking about this guy. Our baby. Or at least the one who used to be our baby.

Remember him?

He’s basically amazing. For 13.5 years he was the youngest of four boys.

Then in the spring of 2018 he suddenly – overnight – became an older brother to this guy:

What else? Well, while the days and the details are quite long and drawn out, it also feels like the rest all happened very suddenly too. In January 2019, a baby boy moved in. Then another baby boy a few months later. Then a baby girl in 2020. And then another girl, turning last year’s Christmas card into this beautiful collage:

Meanwhile, three of the oldest brothers all left home for college and beyond. So in the span of 2.5 years, Malachi went from youngest of four to oldest of six at home.

Just thinking about it makes me shed tears – of joy, of awe, of weariness, of amazement. I could also use a nap.

This kid, this young man, our Malachi? God has been doing amazing work in him to grow him into this role. He’s rocking it as big bro to all the littles who lovingly call him “Bubba.”

I could go on and on about God’s work in and for Malachi. But today I need to share this:

Matt and I want to make some changes for Malachi.

God helped Matt and me realize recently that with all that has happened in our lives during the past two-and-a-half years, and with all we are currently trying to juggle, we’ve neglected a thing or two.

We haven’t shoved Malachi aside by any means. But with nine kids in so many different stages of life, and with five of the kids demanding so much attention, it feels difficult to keep up with meeting so many needs.

Satan wants me to experience deep regret over all the ways I feel that I am lacking instead of recognizing God’s truth in the matter. God hasn’t neglected anything. God doesn’t have a hard time keeping up. And because we are in Him and He is in us, we have everything we need to parent all these kids.

With anything that might be lacking in our human parenting abilities, God has been working all along and always provides a way to restore.

It’s Never Too Late to Make Good Changes for Our Kids

So here we are. Back in the day when we “only had 4 kids” we did a pretty great job of spending time together in the Word. We read the Bible every morning at breakfast and through the years, we really covered a lot of ground. We practiced memorizing scripture together during dinner. We prayed together at night. As the boys got older, our spiritual time with them became deeper.

And now?

We continue to memorize scripture at dinnertime. We have nightly singing and prayer time and it is precious and amazing – and also sometimes loud and high maintenance because of the littlest babes – but always worth it. Then just before tucking in the little ones, they gather around Matt for Bible storytime. (I’ll share more specifics about our routines in another post tomorrow.)

But with all of this, we’ve begun to feel that Malachi has been, in some ways, lost in the shuffle. He doesn’t feel lost, and in fact, he recognizes the sacrifices we’ve all had to make with all the beautiful changes God has brought to our lives. It’s just that everything we’re doing spiritually for our family is pretty watered-down in an effort to teach so many little ones about Jesus.

Malachi needs more than “Bible storytime” from a children’s book and we haven’t been providing it for him. Who cares that our reasons or excuses are somewhat valid and understandable? God’s convicted us to make some changes, and we are grateful. And yes, our teen could be reading his Bible on his own, but we’ve found that he needs some guidance in order to do that effectively.

So now what?

Well, we started praying. Matt has been trying to set aside space in his day to spend intentional one-on-one time with Malachi at night after the littles go to bed. I had to ask God to show me what in the world I could possibly give up in my days so that I had more energy and time to spend with Malachi and for all that truly matters. My days are often beyond full, leaving no wiggle room for even sweeping the kitchen floor, much less having a Bible-filled conversation with my teenager.

Or so Satan wants me to believe.

I started praying for God to send help so that I would have more time and energy to give to Malachi (and other important people-focused needs). He has answered. I’ve hired some young girls to help with some of our daily chores. I bought a dishwasher that actually works. Small as these sound, these two things alone have truly freed up some time and energy in my day so that I can give more to Malachi. Praise God!

Some of this time is spent helping him with school work. That in-and-of-itself has been good because even time working through (those rotten) geometry problems together is character building and an opportunity for us to instill godly discipline.

But we’ve also been intentional about opening our Bibles together. Digging in. Talking through it. Discussing what God has to tell us through Scripture. It’s been pretty amazing to spend this time with Malachi, and I’m so grateful for God’s conviction and provision in this.

Right now we’re working our way through the book of Luke. We just finished reading and discussing the book of Galatians.

I also just got this thorough selection of resources and have these lined up to go through with Malachi:

  • Intentional Living Through Prayer – prayer prompts for every day of the year. These offer such great cues and inspiration to walk teens (and all of us!) through praying intentionally.
  • 30 Day Retreat With God – I love everything about this one! It helps us dig into learning more about who God is so we can love and serve better. It’s practical and simple to work through. A super helpful resource to give us topics to discuss and pray over.
  • A Grateful Heart Bible Study – It’s too easy to be negative and to complain. I look forward to going through this study with Malachi as we focus on God’s work in our lives.
  • James: Self Study Workbook – I wanted to read through James with Malachi anyway, and this book makes it so much better!

You can read more about how to get these books here, and I’ll share more on Wednesday about how I’m using that package for my entire family. If you can swing it, get this. It’s a huge pack of arsenal to pull from as we guide ourselves and our families down a path of spiritual growth.

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

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Our Kids Need So Much More Than Church

What I mean is that if we expect our kids to grow up loving God and embracing Jesus and living life through the guidance of the Holy Spirit – but all we give them is an hour of church on a Sunday morning – we might be disappointed with the outcome.

First, our kids need parents who love Jesus and spend time constantly growing a relationship with the Father. So we grown-ups need to be intentionally focused on digging into the Word and letting God teach us His plans for us.

Then, as we grow, our kids grow. We talk about God in our homes constantly. We bring Truth into every situation. We read the Bible together, sing praises together, pray together, discuss Truth together.

Are your kids not-so-little anymore?

It’s never too late. Start where you are. Start now. Have family prayer time, even if it feels awkward at first. Read the Bible together (See our Bible Reading Guide below).

Not sure when you’ll find the time? Oh, there’s time. God will see to that. Ask God to show you how and He will. I promise.

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Need a Bible Reading Guide?

I have been working on this resource because it very simply answers frequent questions I get about personal Bible study and about spending Bible time with family.

  • How to Start Reading Your Bible Regularly
  • Three-Step Guide to Make the Bible Meaningful
  • How to Read the Bible with Little Ones
  • Scripture to Read and Discuss with Your Teens

I’m making this resource available to everyone, plus a couple more:

101 Scripture Focus Cards

I uploaded these to Walgreens and had them print this file onto 4×6 photo cards. We pull them out at mealtime and practice memorizing them as a family. These prompt great discussion too. I especially love this because everyone in our family, from age 2 to age 47, benefit from memorizing scripture!

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Table Talk Cards

And speaking of great discussion, these cards have been great at mealtime too. All of us at our house, from age 5 to adult can answer the questions on these cards and share them around the table!

As a thank you gift and as a way to give your family a fun spiritual boost, I’ll send you that entire file of resources if you buy the Christian Living Bundle this week through my links.

Get it here, then email me your receipt so I can send you the bonuses.

Start digging in with your family. Let God be a part of every moment in every day!

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

Let this week be an inspiration to make good changes in your family.

Hopefully, you already have some wonderful spiritual routines and traditions in your home. I’d love to hear what you’re doing to fill your home and family with Jesus! This package along with the bonuses I created can give us all a huge boost of encouragement and tools.

I’ll share specifics about our family’s routine in this post tomorrow:

More Than Sunday Morning: How Our Family Focuses on God All Week Long

We haven’t done it perfectly. But we have done it. And as of late, we’ve added more so that we can help our teen grow in ways he needs.

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This Christian Living Bundle is only available for four days – through Thursday, March 25. Get it here then email me with your receipt so I can send you our bonus package with the Bible Reading Guide, 101 Scripture Memory Cards, and Table Talk Cards!

(The bundle costs $29.99. It includes $1182 worth of Christian Living resources. Plus I’ll send you my bonuses worth $21!)

Let’s make good changes for our families! Can’t wait to share more with you tomorrow… :)

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How Can a Mom Take Care of Herself?

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This is the question I’ve been asking myself for the past thirty-twelve years. With all her other responsibilities, how can a mom take care of herself?

Here’s what I know to do to take care of myself:

  • Eat nourishing food
  • Drink water
  • Exercise
  • Take some time alone
  • Go to the chiropractor and/or to get a deep muscle massage as needed
  • Take time with the hubby
  • Get enough sleep every night

But right now, I look at that great self-care list – and then I look at my five kids under seven, my high schooler and his needs and his friends, my two college kids and their needs and their friends, my adult kid and his girl that I don’t see nearly as often as I’d like, my husband who is busier than ever right now with huge work responsibilities – and I launch into that freakish laugh-cry thing moms do when the thing is not at all funny, so it kinda hits you funny, and then you cry because it’s not funny but there you are, still laughing. Bless.

I know what to do so that I can take good care of myself. Yet in reality, I find it very difficult to pull off right now. But awww, would you just look at all these beauties:

Silly but true: sometimes I’m jealous.

How silly that I would ever be jealous of anyone else, seeing as I love my life as mom! But if I’m not careful, I can see what other adults around me are doing – super extravagant things like going to the bathroom alone or reading books without pictures – and I start to feel a tad bit jealous. “Must be nice,” thinks me. After all, I have very few chances to head to the bathroom without toddlers following me to pull down toilet paper and squirt hand soap into their hair while I pee.

They look so innocent when they aren’t in the bathroom with me.

Fun fact: when my husband needs to go to the chiropractor, he simply calls and makes an appointment.

But I’m not jealous of this, of course, because I’m a super sweet wife who is always super sweet. I am truly very happy for him to go to the chiropractor when he needs to go. Because I am super sweet.

So you must be wondering…can I actually not go to the chiropractor? Can I not read a big girl book? Is everyone around me living their lives in total freedom while I, the mom, languish at home alone – though never, ever actually alone – need I remind you of all who accompany me to the bathroom?

The truth is that I can do any of the things I need to do to take care of myself. But I sometimes feel like I have to move a mountain or three to make them happen…

This seems like the right time to talk about the cookies.

Do you know why a usually reasonable and rational mom might sometimes grab cookies or chips instead of eating the salad she knows she should eat? I think the reasons are two-fold:

1) Because cookies and chips are faster than salad. Faster food is important while striving to keep toddlers from emptying glitter bottles into their mouths or smearing oatmeal all over themselves. And…

2) Because the days can feel long and hard and a mom may feel a little bit deprived. This may lead her to think that a cookie will help her to feel better. Maybe it will bring a little joy in the form of a chocolate chip, you know?

It’s a temporary fix, and as we all know, chocolate doesn’t actually bring true joy. “Only Jesus brings joy, amen,” says the healthy mom. But shucks if she doesn’t try again tomorrow to let the fulfillment come from a Dorito.

You thought I was kidding about the oatmeal…

…and the glitter.

I love my life!

There’s nothing I want to do on earth more than to be these kids’ mom, to be my husband’s wife, to be my friends’ friend, and to live this full, abundant life God gave me. So I’m not complaining – not even a little bit. I’m just sharing a little bit of my current motherhood reality. Basically, I need to make a chiropractor appointment, and I can’t figure out how. That is all. Thanks for listening.

So How Can a Mom Take Care of Herself?

Beats me.

Just kidding.

Heh.

Twenty-three plus years into this gig, I’ve learned that motherhood-self-care takes some doing. It doesn’t just happen. It really does seem easier to reach for a cookie than to get out the carrots and hummus. But this leads to a mama feeling sluggish and depleted, so don’t get sucked in to thinking that the chocolate chips will help. (Now, coffee on the other hand…)

Advocate for yo-self, sista

I’ve found that I have to recognize where I’m lacking. Where I’m feeling depleted. And I have to advocate for myself.

Why does a mom have to advocate for herself? Is it because no one respects her or cares about her needs? Nope. I think it’s the opposite! I think we are highly respected by all! And I think moms are really good at momming! In fact, we’re so good at it that it’s possible that our husbands or friends (or even our very own selves) don’t always realize that we might be one toddler-filled pee-break away from a freakish laugh-cry break-down.

On the outside, I can look like I’m doing great. The kids are clean(ish). The house is – well, it hasn’t quite fallen down around us. There’s food on (but also under) the table. I always smile hugely and beautifully when hubby comes home at the end of the day. (He thinks I’m just happy to see him. Well, sure I am. But the truth is that I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM!!!!! Because he brought his arms home with him and now he can also hold one or two of the children.)

So moms? We have to advocate for ourselves. We have to recognize what we need and go ahead and move those mountains to make them happen.

Sometimes I don’t even know how to do this and therefore find it hard to reach out for help. This is not because I don’t like asking for help (being served by others is glorious!). But I’ve found that asking for help also takes effort. Effort that seems hard to come by when keeping everyone safe and happy until bedtime seems difficult enough each day.

But one or two texts sent out to friends? We can make that happen, right? We can say something like, “Hey, are you free to stay with the kids while I head to the chiro tomorrow morning?” See, that wasn’t so hard.

I think I may try this. I’ll let you know how it goes.

And how about you? Are you working to take care of yourself – even though it’s legitimately hard – though not impossible – to do?

When it comes to nourishment, you can do what I do and drink a salad every day. It goes down fast and easy and can be enjoyed even while children are hanging on your legs. They may even want to drink some too.

I don’t have much time to exercise right now (and winter doesn’t help) but I do run up and down the stairs carrying children or laundry baskets multiple times a day and I try to do some yoga-type stretches in the living room a few times each week. As soon as the weather is nice again, we’ll be doing what I call The-Best-Mom-Fitness-Program: loading kids up in strollers and bikes and taking long strolls which is super good for all the reasons – exercise, fresh air, sunshine, good conversation. But the best reason of all: IT WEARS THE KIDS OUT SO THEY TAKE BETTER AFTERNOON NAPS. This is for their own good. This is all I care about. The good of the kids. ;)

Let’s review and let’s do this!

  1. Moms, we need to take care of ourselves, on purpose, for a purpose, because we are fantastic and wonderful and so very loved by so very many.
  2. And speaking of love, I haven’t even mentioned God yet. Oh dear one, God loves us all so much. He wants so much good for us. He’s right there, daily providing for our every need, every minute.
  3. Ask for help. There is no “Way to go, you did it all alone!” trophy. Who would even want one of those? I’d rather have a daily “You made it through the day because of your awesome community!” sticker. Sign me up. I want this. I have this, praise God.
  4. Rest when you can. We really won’t be tired forever. I promise, because…
  5. This season will turn into a different season. I’ve done this before so I know that it’s true. Eventually, everyone will be able to wipe his or her own bottom – true story. Eventually, the kids can unload the dishwasher and do their own laundry and STAY HOME ALONE WHILE MOM GOES TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. I am so serious. This season is temporary and so very precious.
  6. See the good. I will never be that mom who says “enjoy them while they’re young because they grow up so fast yada yada blah blah” because I’ve been there and done that and I’m doing it again. WE MOMS ARE ENJOYING THEM WHILE THEY ARE YOUNG but we are also tired and covered in spit-up. Much of the day is hard, but much of the day is also oh-so-good. The sweet cheeks and squishy kisses, the way they say words wrong, the times they share with their sibling and giggle and have fun, the way they let us dress them in adorable outfits and don’t have opinions about their attire. I could go on and on. There is so much good in every day. God sees to that. Our job is to see what He sees to. <— Read that again. We can easily see all the good He provides when we are looking for it. It’s constant because He is God and He is good.

Motherhood-self-care looks different through the seasons. Eventually, it will actually be easier to do what we need to do for ourselves each day. But for today, let’s do what we can. Let’s drink the salad. Let’s make the stress-free simple meals. Let’s enjoy the fun books with pictures. Let’s take walks in the sunshine while pushing the stroller. Let’s have Jesus-discussions with our babes and be made aware all over again why Jesus called the children to him and told us to have hearts like them.

Let’s learn and grow from the place where we are. God provides. Always.

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P.S. I finished writing this article (thanks to babysitters, woohoo!), moved a few mountains (texted friends and asked for help), and I’m happy to report that I will be going to the chiropractor on Tuesday at 11:45.

P.P.S. Turns out, it wasn’t so hard to move that mountain so I moved a couple more. I’ll be getting my hair trimmed next Thursday at 1:00. And tomorrow afternoon I’m going to go see my therapist for a much-needed session in hopes of turning my currently too-frequent freakish laugh-cries into my more typical I-love-my-kids-so-much-laugh-cries.

P.P.P.S. Decided to send hubs a heart emoji and some words of encouragement because he works so many long, hard hours every day and still comes home with a smile and arms so willing to help his weary wife with the littles (and the bigs).

P.P.P.P.S. Your turn. Go move a mountain. You are so loved. :)

 

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Join Our Surrendered Heart Marriage Builder Series!

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Calling all married couples! Join our Surrendered Heart Marriage Builder Series! (FREE for one week only!)

The tools you’ll receive each week during this special 6-week email series are designed to offer you and God meaningful, quiet, reflective time to help you surrender your heart to His work in and through you.

Want to build a stronger marriage? Of course, we all do! Think it takes hard work? I beg to differ. Here’s what I’ve learned: I can work and work and work at strengthening my marriage, but what I’m really doing through that work is relying on self. And unfortunately, my self is pretty weak and powerless.

But Spirit? Oh, the Holy Spirit living inside of us and working in and through Christians is powerful and strong! The real work is the Lord’s, and He can do ANYTHING. (He already won the victory over all sin and death for all time, praise God!)

So what is our role? Our role is to surrender. Stop trying and working and striving and being constantly disappointed when your fleshly self can’t live up to what you know you want and need to be in your marriage. Surrender. Breathe deeply at the thought! Let go of striving and let God know that you’re ready for Him to do His work.

This 6-week email series will guide you through this wonderful process and you are sure to be amazed at His work in you and in your marriage. Our Surrendered Heart series includes lessons, printables, and journaling guides. We’ll dig into scripture and dig deep in our hearts seeking healing, wholeness, and joy that only Christ can bring.

Sign up for this free Surrendered Heart email series here.

For one week only, we are opening up registration for this series and giving it all to you for free! Spread the word, get everyone on board!

Signing up is easy (and free)! We’ll start right away by sending you weekly emails filled with lessons, encouragement, scripture, journaling pages, and printables to help you build a binder that will help you build your marriage on the One True Source of good.

Don’t miss this great opportunity! (Registration closes February 24.)

Sign up for this free Surrendered Heart email series here.

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How to Fight Off Winter Blues

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Every winter, by the end of January/early February the winter blues threaten to set in. Lack of sunshine, frigid weather, feeling cooped up – these all attribute to the blah feelings that seem to come and go sometime between Christmas and Springtime. Here’s what I’ve found through the years to be helpful.

How to Fight Off Winter Blues

Some of what I’m going to share may seem trite, you know, like when I say, “Hey, you should pray about it.” But don’t read this list while thinking “Well yeah, duh, I’ve already tried that.” Read this with an open heart, praying while you read, to see what God might offer you if you also struggle through winter blues. And please leave a comment to add to the list, sharing what has worked for you too!

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Note: I feel I should add a disclaimer. Winter blues are nothing like depression. I am not an expert and am not suggesting that those struggling with severe depression simply “drink some water and you’ll be just fine.” Reach out for big help – it is there and God will provide! I’ve been there and have been so grateful for what God has healed (and continues to heal).

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Well, since I already mentioned it, how about we start with:

1. Hey, you should pray about it.

What I want to suggest though is that we don’t simply pray, “God, help me get through this winter. Help me get through this day. Help me get through until lunch…”

Those are fine prayers, but here’s what I’ve found to be more effective to help free my mind when the enemy tries to get me down:

  • “God, clear my mind of lies and help me to hear your voice of Truth. Help me to believe your Truth and live fully in it.”
  • In the name of Jesus, empty me of self-pity, sadness, despair, and discouragement. Fill me instead with your Spirit, and let the fruit of your Spirit pour out. Your joy, your peace, your goodness, your love…”
  • “God, help me to see life and people through your eyes today.”
  • “Lord God, change me. I need you. I’ve been trying to live through my flesh and it lands me in a place of pain. Work through me so that instead, I will live through your Spirit where there is hope and goodness in abundance!”
  • “God, please open my eyes and my heart to all the goodness you are providing today.”

And then breathe deeply and see that He will absolutely answer these prayers in fullness! God always says yes to everything we ask for that is for our spiritual good! He has already fought every battle and won! He will help us to live in this victory!

2. Dig into the Word.

Yep, we already knew this one too. But what if we dug in and read page after page of Scripture as if our life, our health, and our well-being depended on it. Because it does.

Not sure where to start? This can help.

During some of my most difficult days, God’s Word has served to be so much more than a bandaid on my emotional wounds. It holds real answers to real needs in the perfect way that only God can offer.

3. Serve someone.

I have been amazed by how much better my mood can be when I ask God to tell me who I can serve and how I can serve them. He brings someone (or multiple people) to mind and tells me how to reach out. Even something as simple as baking and delivering treats to someone can help me get out of my own head and instead help me to focus outward on others’ needs. Encouraging others, seeing others, loving on others, giving something to others, talking to others, asking about others’ needs – this is an incredible way to take our minds from melancholy to meaningfulness.

P.S. Get your kids involved. ;)

4. Try to get enough sleep.

This is often easier said than done depending on our season of life. But wow do I feel like a different woman (emotionally and physically) if I’ve gotten the rest I need. When I’m tired, I often cry more easily, feel sorry for myself, feel discouraged, can’t think straight, wonder what’s wrong with me…

Then I get a power nap or a better night’s sleep and suddenly I feel so much better overall.

I guess it’s worth it to say this based on what I’ve personally experienced: Maybe we aren’t down or depressed, maybe we’re just tired. If that’s the case, work extra hard to get to bed at a decent time, to let others help you more, and to get as much needed rest as possible.

5. Ask for help.

Please learn to do this. Asking for help has been incredible and necessary for me, and I think it’s necessary for every person, no matter what. We can’t do life alone. We aren’t good at it. It doesn’t work. God created us to need people.

I have to ask for help with my kids, with my housework, with my emotional needs (praise God for my Christian therapist!), with my blog work – everything. It’s amazing to watch God work through others. Ask for help. You will be so glad you did!

(This is Justus and his girlfriend Kelsey in a pile-up on our floor with our 7-year old and 5-year old. These darlings and many other college students and friends are on call to come help when and if they are available. I’m so very thankful!)

6. Eat your vegetables. Drink your water.

Man, in the wintertime those cookies just seem so much more appealing. But sugar can really kick in the winter blues, so be sure you’re focused on nourishing food that keeps your heart and mind happy instead of sad and sluggish.

Don’t forget: Spring’s a comin’! Look for the beauty in every day. Let’s not get stuck thinking that we’ll feel like this forever. And again, if you’re experiencing more than winter blues, reach out for deeper help.

It’s time to tell the enemy to get out and then ask God to fill our minds with His joy and peace! Winter doesn’t win, and the enemy certainly doesn’t! Nope. No way. Not today Satan. (Or tomorrow. So there.)

Breathe deeply of God’s goodness and let Him walk you through each day. That sun is going to shine soon and boy are we going to ENJOY EVERY MINUTE!!!

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Can Mom Have More Fun?

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Can mom have more fun? Any fun at all? How is it even possible with all these responsibilities? I absolutely adore this post from Tasha. I cried through it, because my mom-life is full and amazing but hard and exhausting. I needed this. I’m guessing you might too…

Can Mom Have More Fun?

by Tasha Hackett

Being a mother is amazing. A-ma-zing. But being trapped and tied down weighs on me until I might crumble. When all the parts of me that made me Tasha turn into Mom Mom Mom Mom, I begrudge this life that I find myself in. Sometimes it appears I’ve forgotten how to have fun as a mother. This post is because I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only overwhelmed mom out there who needs to hear this.

Why is it hard for moms to have more fun?

Of course it’s a foolish thing to wish myself out of where I am. I mean, come on! This is my happily ever after! This is the life I always wanted, always assumed I would have. As a kid, I hardly had any career goals because I knew I would be home with my kids doing all the things I loved–cooking, creating things, teaching my kids, singing, playing, holding babies and going on adventures with my mom friends and their kids. But instead I’m stuck doing laundry, and dishes, and managing the budget, and sweeping the floor over and over and over again until I’m staring at this home I’ve built around me and wanting to take a sledge hammer to all of it and go live in a cabin in the woods–which I would hate by the way, unless my family came with me because I totally love them. 

As it turns out, God absolutely and completely knew what he was doing when he gave me these kids. Motherhood is a baptism by fire, and it’s growing me into a woman of courage and strength and refining me into something beautiful. (Right?! God love me for it, but I am so stinkin’ broken.)

tasha and baby

Why is the fun gone?

You know why. For those of us who are in the grind of raising little tiny kids, we have routines that must be abided. We mothers are stressed by all the things we’re in charge of rattling around in our brains. When meals, sleep, and routines get out of whack, everyone pays for it. The energy it takes to simply survive doesn’t always leave much room to have more “fun.” Now, let’s be clear. I am not talking about creating more fun for the kids. No, I’m not worried about their fun. They get to play, play, play all the live-long day. I’m interested in mothers. Why aren’t we having fun? As a parent, am I having fun? Am I fun? What used to be fun? Is it still fun? Why not? What else can I do that makes me happy? 

tasha

Side story about how much fun I had the past three years. 

Incidentally, the past three years have been a doozy. Blessings upon blessings, but also a pile of personal, internal, trials. In the meantime, I thought it would be a good idea to start my writing career. Maybe not the best timing with the whole birthing of the fourth child and all. 

But here I am, and writing has been so much stinking fun. 

During the first lock-down of the pandemic, the husband worked from the basement. I seized the opportunity of the extra time and support and finished my novel, Bluebird on the Prairie. I don’t tell you this to brag . . . nope, okay, I’m bragging a little. . . but mostly because I am amazed and full of joy at having completed such a magnanimous accomplishment that I can’t help sharing it. Was it ever so much work? Yes. Girl… yes. So. Much. Work. Guess what else it was? Rewarding. And, you guessed it. Fun! It was fun. 

A crazy thing about writing books is how much I learn from my characters when they start speaking all by themselves and spout off random bits of wisdom that I never could have thought up on my own. They’re smart like that.

Please read this scene snippet that tugs at my heart: 

Zeke lowered himself to the ground and leaned against the tree. “It’s not that I’m not grateful, because I am. But I can’t . . . I’m not a farmer. I don’t want to be a farmer.” He set his hat on the ground. Running both hands through his hair before clasping them behind his neck, he sighed. “I don’t know, Chipmunk, do you ever feel like everyone’s got a plan for your life, and forgot to ask how you felt about it first?” 

“Why do you call me Chipmunk?”

He grinned at her. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

She pulled a handful of grass and threw it at him. The wind caught most of it and she watched it drift. “I envy you.”

“How so?” 

“You wanted to go, so you did. To have that kind of freedom. To be brave enough to take a chance.” 

“Stupid enough, you mean. Did you get a good look at the goober who fell on his face? That man was lonely, dirty, and starving.” 

Eloise did remember, and blushed thinking of it. If it hadn’t been for her standing in the creek only half dressed, he never would have fallen. “At least you keep smiling through it,” she said, “I don’t know how to have fun anymore.”

“I just do what makes me happy. Within reason . . . Fried chicken? Makes me happy. Catching frogs? Makes me happy. Singing? Makes me happy. What makes you happy? Do that.” He shrugged, like there was nothing to it.

What did make her happy? There were things she used to do for fun, but when put to the question she was stumped. 

Zeke prodded. “There isn’t anything you do, that makes all the bad stuff disappear for a while?” 

“I don’t know. If there is, I’ve forgotten.”

Can I share a fun secret? 

Fun doesn’t need to be extravagant. Sometimes I forget to be happy. It’s wrong and it’s not God’s plan for me. Sometimes I don’t know how to have more fun as a mother. I get so caught up in what I can’t do and what I wish I could be doing, that I don’t make use of the fun freely available. One of the things that brings me joy is writing. And so I do, and I did. Laura lets me talk to you and I have dreams of many more novels to come! But… the simple, freely-available-doesn’t-cost-anything fun? That comes from a spirit of peace. A peace that knows my kids are well loved, even if their rooms are a mess because I haven’t properly trained them on how to keep them tidy. A peace that extends to the husband when he’s 20 minutes later coming home from work than I expected.

tasha and kids

Peace comes from knowing I am worthy of God’s love. 

Listen up, friend. You are worthy of God’s love. He didn’t raise his son from the dead for someone he didn’t love. He didn’t come back from the grave for us to walk about the house grumpy about laundry! I believe He wants us to have life, and have it to the fullest–not just later, but now! Absolutely we are called to sacrifice so much of ourselves. But nobody ever asked us to stop having fun, we did that all on our own. 

Here’s how I had fun today: 

  • When the kids played in the yard, I read a book for 45 minutes. 
  • When the kids asked for a snack I opened a jar of peanuts and gave it to them. And then showed off, unsuccessfully, how I could throw and catch one in my mouth.
  • While the baby played with a stack of books I got on my hands and knees and growled at him until he looked my way, then I slinked towards him like a tiger. He squealed and laughed at me. 
  • I was blasting show tunes on my phone when Ben came home from work (20 minutes late), and as I sang along, I started dancing for him. He pulled me into his arms, twirled me around a few times and dipped me over his knee before the kids claimed his attention. 
  • At dinner I shared a new book idea with the kids and asked them to come up with any funny things that might happen to my characters. 

You are pretty when you smile.

Yeah, okay. I know. Sometimes life is really really hard. I understand hard. I’ve been there, and I’m still there sometimes. To be perfectly honest, I don’t want to get out of bed most mornings because I dread the tasks ahead. Being a mom and the humility, compassion, empathy, and selflessness that needs to come with that is the hardest thing. I’m a work-in-progress. 

A few years ago I laughed at something and my, then five-year-old, son said, “Mom! You’re so pretty when you smile.” And it broke my heart in a million tiny pieces because what he really said was, “I haven’t seen you smile in a long time.”

ben and tasha

Do it for you.

Can you find ways to have more fun? I don’t know everything going on in your life that’s causing you so much stress you’ve forgotten how to have fun. But I can guess at some of it. Here’s a hint: Don’t make food harder than it has to be. Laura’s given us way too many resources and recipes for us to be wasting time complaining about kitchen duty. 

I’m not even going to leave you with scientific facts about how laughing is healthy and makes you live longer. Nope. How about we make time for fun, simply because fun is fun? Nobody goes to bed thinking, “Man, I wish I hadn’t had so much fun today.” 

Tasha HackettTasha Hackett, author of Bluebird of the Prairie, (a heartwarming romance releasing Spring 2021), is fueled by sunshine or hot chocolate—whichever is more readily available. She pretends to be a ballerina while cleaning the kitchen and can sing along to every word of every Wee-Sing Silly Songs album. Four children and a husband have filled her days with more than enough to keep her busy, but creative hobbies continually find their way onto her to-do list. You can connect with her on Instagram @hackettacademy or for Laura @heavenlyhomemaker. 

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Who Even Cares Anymore About Free Range Chicken?

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Would you look at this? My first post of 2021 is about our beloved Free Range Chicken. I bet you’re wondering how I feel about this subject now…

What I’m about to share may surprise you. It might even disappoint you. But well, life has taken a huge shift for us and while I wouldn’t have believed it myself had you told me I’d feel this way in 2021, here we are, and here is how I feel.

I don’t actually care about free-range chicken anymore. This is the truth.

What am I even talking about?

This free-range chicken chatter all started back in 2014 with my God is Bigger than a Free Range Chicken post. Remember that? In my early healthy-eating days,  was allllll into organic and free-range and fermented and all the best of the best. Then God reminded me that He is bigger and biggest and real food is still real food, even when it wasn’t raised at Harvard and sung to from the womb. So I wrote this to encourage us to focus on eating healthy food without stress.


Oh look. It’s a couple of free-range chickens.

Then God taught me even more, so the next post on this subject in 2018 turned out: Beyond the Free Range Chicken. God had shown me in hundreds of ways how loving people is much more important than loving food. That focusing on Him is a better choice and much healthier and more balanced than focusing on organic salad and grass-fed beef. That while eating well is important – the only reason for it is so that we are healthy enough to serve in all the ways He asks us to serve. You can read the full post here.

So now here we are in 2021. As we’ve sought God in new ways and opened our hearts to His plans for us, He surprised us by starting our family over again. Just when we thought our grocery budget would finally go down as our big boys launched the nest, the grocery budget stayed the same and maybe even went up a little as God moved more kids into our home.

We’ve currently adopted two and have three others in foster care with many unknowns as we walk forward each day. (Those pesky unknowns? These are all completely known to God. We just don’t know the full plans yet. We wait and we pray and sometimes we cry because unknowns on earth are hard if we focus on the flesh instead of looking down from our seat in the Heavenly Realms.)

So here we are, with nine kids at the time of this writing. (Three are launched from the nest. Three are under the age of 2. Some are healing from intense trauma. One has some minor medical issues. You don’t want to know how many diapers we go through in one day.)

Our foster care/adoption journey has taken us on a beautiful, wild, challenging, ever learning-to-trust-God ride since April of 2018. Every day of that ride, God shows us more about what is truly important and what we need to let go of so that we can focus on what actually matters for the Kingdom.

What does actually matter?

Love. Trusting the One who loves us beyond what we can possibly understand.

But the truth is also this: It’s easy to think about how beautiful that is – the loving and the trusting – but it is hard to actually live fully in that truth.

While love overflows from our hearts because of the Spirit living in us, what currently overflows from my house is a big pile of dirty laundry or on a good day, a big pile of clean laundry unfolded on top of and falling off of my dresser. Our toddlers can destroy the house from top to bottom in five short minutes. The dishes don’t ever get washed efficiently, and even if the kitchen floor gets swept, it’s dirty again after the next meal or snack.

Keeping up with so many little ones is a big job in and of itself, but then we’ll throw in all of the many meetings and court dates and appointments brought on by foster care life. It takes me from my regular homemaking duties and sometimes leaves me emotionally drained.

I am complaining about none of this. I will live in a filthy house with zero domestic accomplishments for the rest of my life if it means that I get to love on and live with all these children. But it is all worth mentioning to explain why I have come to the conclusion that, when talking about the beloved free-range chicken:

I don’t really care much anymore about what we eat. I’m just so happy to actually put any variety of food on the table every day (for my toddlers to smear on their head and drop onto the floor under their chairs).

Happy 2nd birthday to Keith!

So I bet you’re wondering:

Have I lost my actual mind? Do you even know who I am anymore? Do I still love butter? Have I started buying the high fructose corn syrup and the MSG and the hydrogenated oils?

Well, yes obviously about the butter. I still love it and always will. And no way about the HFCS and MSG. I’ve been at this real food, simple meals thing for long enough that much of this is an automatic no-brainer for me as I grocery shop. We still have a great source for grass-fed beef and raw milk, so I stick with this because I don’t have to do anything different or difficult.

But, well? If you open my freezers now, along with our lovely beef from the organic farm, you will also find bags of prepared french fries and several frozen pizzas. I haven’t made a homemade tortilla in years and I almost cried when I thought about trying to can any of the tomatoes from our weed-filled garden last summer.

The best I can truly is the best.

Did you know that? The best we can do really is best. :)

I’m doing the best I can to be sure we’re getting fruits and vegetables each day with whatever else we’re eating because I know we need the nourishment that fruits and veggies provide. What I also know is that food overall has taken a big back seat in my brain and heart, simply because it has to.

And it makes me wonder: Should it have been this way all along?

What if focusing on good health and perfect foods and ingredient labels keep us from freely fixing our eyes on Jesus? What if good health and good food is important, but only so that we are fueled with what we need so that we can serve as God asks us to each day?

I love all that I’ve learned about nutrition and good health. I love that I’ve been able to share what I’ve learned here and to learn from all of you too! This knowledge is carrying me through this season, and for that I am thankful. Real butter and vegetables are pretty great. But the more time I spend in the Word and with people, the more I recognize that Jesus is the bread of life and He is the one who brings real nourishment.

God’s call to love.

God calls all of us to love people. All people. Whatever that looks like in your life, whoever He has put in your path, on your porch, in your church, in your living room – He calls us to love, and He tells us that this is the most important. While there is glorious beauty in loving Him and His people in all the ways He calls us to love, there is also challenge and hardship. It takes time and energy – and I am becoming more and more convicted that this is time and energy that should be taken out of our kitchens and into the hurting world.

God doesn’t care if we make frozen pizza but He does care if we are resting in Him. He’s not concerned about what items in my fridge are organic. He cares about our hearts and He calls us to Him constantly to teach us to trust His ways as we walk this path with Him. He knows our weariness and our joys. He’s well aware of what each day holds and if my free-range chicken has turned into bags of dino nuggets? Well. When I serve them to my kids I sometimes actually cry tears of thanks for them because it means my family is fed and I still have the energy to smile at all these precious people at the end of the day.

So where do we land on the topic of eating healthy food?

I absolutely do still care about our health. I cook the most wholesome of food if and when I can, you can bet on it. Malachi (our only teen left at home) knows how to cook and is a huge help when he’s not working or at sports practice or play practice or youth group or…

I make smoothies daily and pack them with mixed greens so that we can “drink our salad” on the fly. I serve fruit with every meal and veggies with most. We aren’t giving up on good health; we’re simply focused on overall health now – emotional, spiritual, and yes, physical – but it begins and ends with a focus on love.

In summary:

God is bigger than ALLLLLL THE CHICKEN.

Struggling to find balance when it comes to healthy eating and healthy living in general? Ask God to show you what matters. He will show you. You may be at a point in your life where you have failing health and you NEED to focus on all things nourishing and good. You may be at a point where you need to get your emotional and spiritual life healthy and you need to find a Christian therapist to walk you through (best decision I’ve ever made and continue to make is to let my Christian therapist help me through challenges and spiritual cleansing and healing!). You may need both.

But we all need Jesus. And we all need to know that He is biggest. Bigger than any question we have about life and caring for our families.

Let Him direct you. This is not a cop-out (I’ll just eat whatever I want and let God take care of it please hand me another Snicker bar). This is a matter of choosing to surrender our hearts (God is bigger than anything I’m worried about or focused on this earth; I trust Him and will listen to Him).

Share with me.

What has God been teaching you about love? Who has He put on your path? How has He shown you ways to focus on what truly matters?

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Holidays? Moms Need Help in the Trenches

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Whatever time of year, I can attest to the fact that moms need help. But during the holidays, we may need help even more and in a different way. Enjoy this gem from Tasha…

Holidays? Moms Need Help in the Trenches

By Tasha Hackett

When moms need help desperately but don’t even know where to start…

Shucks, life is fun, amiright? Those cute baby snuggles, warm apple pie, bright orange leaves in piles, glittering snow, creamy hot-chocolate, sizzling butter and garlic… mmmm. But geez, Moms need help. I need help. We mothers of young people are overwhelmed. The close-knit communities aren’t there anymore. Everyone has their own life and responsibilities. Social media, though originally designed to bring us together, only makes us feel worse. With the holidays upon us, where can I even start to get help? 

“Happiness is a decision,” said the well-meaning, but unhelpful person.

I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Happiness is a decision. For the overwhelmed mom, that is as unhelpful as telling her, “Enjoy them! They grow up so fast.” (Read Laura’s post on what to say instead.) Truthfully, it’s not helpful to say either of those things to the mother who dreads going to sleep at night because she knows the baby is going to wake in 45 minutes and then cry for the next two hours before he sleeps for another 45 … and the mother who dreads the morning because the other three littles are going to want to eat and wear clothes and they’re going to chatter and need love and attention and they’ll play and make messes.

Perhaps that mom is dealing with a cloud of emotional strain and doesn’t even know what she needs because her brain is overwhelmed from the aforementioned sleep deprivation and she forgot to eat food again. (Would it fool anyone if I said these were hypothetical examples? I was there last year.)

To quote Rabbit and Winnie-the-Pooh, “How about Lunch?”

Don’t tell her happiness is a decision, what she needs is (Okay, yes, Jesus. She needs Jesus, but also,) sleep. She needs sleep and she needs food, and she needs to know that she is in a place that won’t last forever. Her people need to support her with prayers for peace from the Holy Spirit in order to fully embrace life at home with littles. What really helps her is an older mom to say, “It’s gonna be okay. And I’ll bring dinner over at 5:00 pm.” And when that is offered, she needs to accept it and say, “Thank you.” If all the real moms will please stand up and support each other, we’ll be okay.

Moms need help. Mmk? We may need lots of help for the Holidays. The sooner we can embrace that, the happier we will be. 

When my firstborn was a few months old, Ben and I had opposite shifts. I worked days, he worked evenings and weekends. Saturdays were LOOOOONG. I was 100% an extravert (still am), trapped at home for 12 hours with a tiny baby that didn’t sleep much and cried when left alone. The emotional strain to be EVERYTHING for this tiny human ate at my core and I was isolated, worn out, drained, and lonely. 

I was (am) an interesting person with a broad skill set and none of that mattered on a twelve-hour workday with an infant. What mattered was giving, and giving, and giving. Spit-up on my pants, milk stains on my shirts, the house falling apart, chores half-done… you know. Foremost priority was loving this child, but it was breaking me in two.

One evening I sucked up my pride and walked myself to the neighbors: “I need help. I feel like I’m falling to pieces. He cries unless I hold him, and I’ve hardly been able to eat and I could really use a shower. Would you be willing to keep him for half an hour?” She said she’d gladly hold him for as long I needed. I showered. Cried. I ate some food. Cried. I pulled myself together and went back to claim my baby. He was happy. The neighbors were happy. And that evening will stick with me forever as the first time I was brave enough to ask for help. 

What does this have to do with moms and help for the holidays?

This season is going to be different. Know your limits and go easy on yourself. Don’t try to make everything perfect. Ask for help. Take time to enjoy this season as best as you can. Have fun. 

As a mother, wife, and homemaker, why do we play the martyr when no one has asked it of us? I’ve been in hard places far too many times the past eight years where the service of my community has kept me from falling apart. 

I’m afraid to share this because you may be astounded, “Tasha sounds depressed! She has anxiety.” What if you read this and think, “I can’t relate to this at all. Tasha needs help…” Um… yes. That’s the whole thing here. I do need help, but listen up, I’ve talked with many other young moms and we are all in the same boat! Some more than others, of course, but the general consensus is that WE DON’T HAVE IT FIGURED OUT. The water is pouring in faster than we can bail it out. We are in desperate need of older women to come alongside and get into the trenches to show us the way out.

Calling all experienced mothers! Moms need help! 

In tears, five years ago I called an older friend, (her youngest was six, oldest in high school,). I was home with a baby and a chatty 3-year-old. I said, “I have to get out. Can you come? I just need 10 minutes.” She said, “I’ll be there in five.” 

No joke. I had my coat on, boots tied, and was pulling on my gloves when she pulled into my driveway. I left the house and took off running. Literally. I’m sure I was a sight. I made it three blocks before I slowed because January-in-Nebraska. Five degrees is too cold to be gulping air. 

I let the wind suck my breath away. Crying, I begged God to bring me peace. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t enjoy my two precious babies? 

Dear mothers of young children, you are not broken. 

Author Johann Hari says to those with depression/anxiety, “You are not broken, you’re not weak, you’re not crazy. You’re not a machine with broken parts, you are a human being whose needs are not being met.” Loneliness, loss of control of your environment, the inability to get outside, feeling your life has no purpose, not feeling valued, emotional needs that are not being met, grief (perhaps the grief of lost freedoms?) are all causes of depression and anxiety. (Watch his TED Talk here.) If you’d like to learn more about this, read Hari’s book Lost Connections. He is not a Christian, but his research is phenomenal and while reading his book, I was astounded at how many things correlated with the overwhelm that is common with stay-at-home moms. 

tasha

Help for the weary (even during the holidays)

God promises rest for the weary and my logical brain argues, “Yea, but… you gave me four kids.” He promises peace and I say, “Yea, but, somebody still has to make food and do dishes.” When he reprimands Martha and nods in approval at Mary sitting at his feet, I say, “Mmmk…. But, I have toddler boys who literally pee all over the toilet and the floor.” 

Laura keeps reminding us that Jesus takes over and it’s not her doing it, but him. What does that look like? I think it looks like being able to have fun, being at peace, even while wiping pee off the floor. 

For the older moms: 

Look around your community and find a young mother to adopt.

Pray for the young mothers by name and ask for peace.

For the younger moms: 

Isaiah 40:11 “He gently leads those that have young.”

This is a revealing post. Rest assured, I am doing okay. Know why? Because I am continually asking for help. My heart aches for moms whose needs are not being met. I implore you to seek help. Help for moms can come in many different forms. For me, I’ve received it from doctors, counselors, parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, bible class teachers, elders, cousins, college roommates, my fitness coach, my husband, the librarian, and even my best friend from preschool.

Truly, you do not have to do this alone.

Tasha HackettTasha Hackett, friend of Laura, has four chatty children and a wonderfully supportive husband. It’s possible she was born in the wrong century, as she always dreamed of being friends with Laura Ingalls and Anne Shirley. Her debut novel, Bluebird on the Prairie, a historical romance set in 1879 Nebraska, will release Spring 2021. The clumsy antics of the hero, huge misunderstandings, and a humorous brother/sister relationship will keep you smiling, but you may need a tissue as the heroine works through grief. Thankfully, word on the street is the story has a happily ever after.

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