Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

I Won’t Always Have Toothpaste on My Pants

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Why do I have toothpaste on my pants? Why wouldn’t I?

We are currently caring for seven kids ages nine and under. Often, we have an eighth kiddo along for the ride. He and our 4-year-old, Keith, are like twins as they are only 6 weeks apart in age. Once a few weeks ago, the two of them were actually sitting still together and I took a picture to prove that it can actually happen.

Their stillness only lasted a few seconds, then they were off and running again. Meanwhile:

I could share picture after picture of our little ones, but in summary:

  • There are a lot of kids
  • The kids are always busy
  • Someone is almost always screaming
  • Our house is always a mess

And that’s why we aren’t surprised that I got toothpaste on my pants.

It happened on a day that we’d been having issues with the four-year-old “twins” getting out the toothpaste and squirting it everywhere – the bottom of the sink, their bedroom floor, I suppose we could say – anywhere except for a toothbrush.

No matter what we did to discipline them, they would go back to the toothpaste. Throw that into the mix along with our 7 and 9-year-olds acting out because of trauma, our 3-year-old’s super frequent emotional melt-downs, our then 1-year-old always wanting to be held, and our 5-month old acting like a normal 5-month-old in which he enjoyed regular feedings, bouncing, snuggles, and diaper changes. Did I mention the poop that got all over the outside of the toilet because someone didn’t make it in time?

And that’s why we aren’t surprised that I got toothpaste on my pants.

I should actually be glad it was toothpaste and not poop.

After we got four out of eight kids down for afternoon naps that day, I plopped down to sit by Matt for a second and proclaimed, “At least we know that I won’t always have toothpaste on my pants. They’ll grow through this someday…”

But then I sighed and followed up my first thoughts with these, “Of course, then they’ll all be dealing with much bigger issues in their pre-teen and teen years. Then we’ll be wishing that we were only dealing with toothpaste.”

Mom sheds a big fat tear.

Here are Laura’s takeaways from the toothpaste situation:

1. The kids really will not all be babies forever.

We will get through these days. Today they are 9, 7, 4, 4, 3, 2, 2, and 6-months. There are so many babies all at once that I’ve stopped wondering why I can’t speak a sentence correctly. Most of the time it feels like we live in a circus and a zoo all wrapped up in one. And we are coated in toothpaste and poop. But in just a few years, these babes will all wipe their own bottoms, dress themselves, buckle themselves, and load the dishwasher, praise Jesus hallelujah amen.

2. These kids will all be teenagers at the same time.

Today’s hard will get easier, but then it will get harder again in a different way. I choke on my air when I think about what it might be like. But then I have to remember to do this…

3. Do not look past today.

Each day has enough trouble of its own. Every season in life has incredible joys and extreme challenges. We can appreciate them simultaneously, and we can learn more every day about how to trust the God who is walking ahead of us and carrying us through.

How do we do this?

There is no other way but to stand firm in God’s power and truth. I don’t mean that in a trite “it’s what all the good Christians are doing” sort of way. I’m talking about not letting the enemy keep us in a fetal position and instead STANDING UP in His power and strength. We put on His armor, and we STAND.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:10-18

How do I care for all these littles and walk through big, hard things with my bigs too? How do I feed them three meals a day in the meantime? And how in the world am I going to get this house packed by the time we close on our house?

I am tempted to lay down in defeat, but the Holy Spirit nudges me to do what I know to do: STAND UP.

In Him, we are strong, solid, and victorious. We stand firm in this Truth. Be encouraged by this short video —>

 

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Everyone Needs Tuesday People

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What are Tuesday People? They are the people that everyone needs.

How we got our Tuesday People

It all started the week we took in a 17-month old girl and her newborn baby sister. They needed immediate placement and we already had their 2-year-old sibling in our home. So we were the first call. Could we take them? Yes. God said yes. So Matt and I said yes.

The two baby girls were welcomed into our home by our four older sons plus our young adopted and/or foster kids – at the time ages 7, 5, 2, 2, and 9-months. It wasn’t the first time we questioned our sanity, as we cared for so many high-need kids so close in age.

But were we even crazier for taking in two more? The kids would be ages  7, 5, 2, 2, 17-months, 9-months, and 2-days. Did I mention that our oldest, Asa, was getting married six weeks from that day?

Yes. We were crazy.

But have you ever read the Bible? Does God do anything significant for the Kingdom that isn’t weird, extreme, different, shocking, or challenging? Ask Sarah, Joseph, Paul, Esther, Noah, or Mary. It seems that God’s “yes” is always with great purpose, but it is also accompanied by that which seems impossible. We read the Word with confidence, noting that He always came through for the people that He called. He would come through for us.

Our community rallied

Surely our people were also questioning our sanity. But they walked with us anyway. It was only a few days before we had half a room stocked with cases of wipes and diaper boxes of all sizes, a Meal Train filled with meals ready to be delivered, and the best of the best: a Google spreadsheet brimming with people who had signed up to come in the evenings to help us with dinner, baths, and bedtime. Five kids in diapers? A baby with leg braces? Toddlers who struggled to stay out of the street? A freshly traumatized 1-year-old? Sleepless nights for Mom and Dad? The list goes on. We were in need.

God provided. He is good. His people are good.

Our Tuesday People

As we settled in with our new babies, the beloved spreadsheet told us that the Conyers would be coming that Tuesday evening to help. They arrived with a meal for all of us to enjoy. Then they chased kids in the yard, pushed kids on the swings, changed diapers, and read books. They scrubbed dirt off of kids, fed babies bottles, and washed our dishes. We got the kids to bed and thanked them as they headed out the door, surely exhausted from all they’d done for our family during those hours. That’s when they said:

“Can we come again next Tuesday?”

Oh, yes please. If you’re sure that works for you??

The next Tuesday turned into the Tuesday after that. Which turned into the one after that. And then the one after that. We settled into a routine with Aaron and Eryn. They became our Tuesday People. They came right after work on Tuesdays. I always had dinner waiting to feed them when they arrived – because it was the least I could do.

Sometimes they ate with a baby in their arms. Often they ate with a toddler in their lap. Then they didn’t stop moving until after the jammies were on, the nightly family “singing and prayer time” was complete, and the kids were in bed. Often Matt and I would come down the stairs after tucking kids in to see that Aaron and Eryn had the toys picked up and the dishwasher loaded.

During the spring, they’d meet us at the soccer field to help us chase kids while we cheered for Malachi. We sometimes joke that two years ago, we weren’t sure who was the most hesitant in this relationship: the baby girls who weren’t sure what to do with Aaron and his beard, or Aaron, who wasn’t sure what to do with seemingly fragile baby girls. Now, they are all the best of friends.

This Tuesday night thing all started back in June 2021. And here we are two years later, in June 2023.

The Conyers have become so dear to us. They are our Tuesday People. They’ve seen the worst of us, shared their best with us, and prayed us through incredible challenges. We’ve fed them, loved them, and made them a part of our family. They made us a part of theirs.

Saying goodbye to our Tuesday Nights now as we are moving on to Lincoln grieves me more than just about anything we are leaving behind. Oh how we’ve loved and needed our Tuesday People.

Everyone needs Tuesday People.

Church, worship, family, and community can take on many forms and for us, Tuesdays have become a beautiful blending of all of this. We need this. Everyone needs this.

So some questions for you:

  • Do you have Tuesday People?
  • Can you become someone’s Tuesday People?

We all need community. Sometimes we are called to serve and sometimes we are called to be served. As I have learned during our life journey – the need to serve and to be served almost always happens simultaneously. It is beautiful this way.

When we allow ourselves to be served, we are opening ourselves up to experiencing God in a way that we cannot if we choose to “go it alone.” We suffer when we say no to help, because God didn’t make us to do life without His people. We can do so much more for the Kingdom when we work together, serve together, and open our homes and hearts to be served and cared for.

Say yes to this

Prayerfully open your heart to how God can use you in this. Serve and be served. Love and be loved.

Our Tuesday People have changed our lives and we’ll never be the same. It is almost two years to the day from our first Tuesday together that we tearfully enjoy our last.

Thank you, Aaron and Eryn for loving us so well. Our Tuesdays will not be the same without you. We love you. 

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How God Used My Cheesecake

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God used my cheesecake in a way that surprised us all…

I’ve always felt that my biggest love language is food. Are you sick? Here’s a casserole. Going through a hard time? I just made fresh muffins. Exhausted while you adjust to having a newborn? Enjoy these frozen burritos. Want to come over and eat with us? I have something like Lasagna, Roast, or perhaps a big pot of Taco Soup. Also coffee, fruit, vegetables, bread, butter, potatoes, salad…

I feed people. It’s one of the ways God uses me to love people, and in return, I am delightfully blessed. God’s people are precious and food is one great way for us to get to know them.

How God used my cheesecake

Several months during this past school year, our family joined with a few other families to host lunches after church for young adults and college students. We invited any and all, and on one particular day in January, there were a few that joined us who had never been to church before. We loved this and were so thankful to prayerfully introduce God’s love and care for them.

I don’t remember what else I made to share around the table that day, but I do know that I made some big Cheesecakes to share.

Later that evening, our new friend J texted the Bible professor who had invited him to church and lunch:

No, you may not buy one, but we sure will make you one!

The next week, I made a cheesecake and Matt took it to campus to deliver it to J. The young man was amazed that people who barely knew him would do something like this. For us, it was easy. For him, it was love. It was “just a cheesecake,” but it was the beginning of a relationship and so much more.

As the weeks went by, we continued to get to know J. He came to church and joined us for lunch a few more times. (There was always cheesecake.) Meanwhile, many others whom he had gotten to know at the York University campus were sharing their lives with him and more importantly, sharing more about Jesus. He was open, he was ready, and a few weeks ago, he decided to become a Christian.

Watching him be baptized and embraced by dozens and dozens of people who had invested in his life was one of the most glorious moments of this year so far. This young man who knew nothing about a life in Christ before this school year had decided to fully embrace it. Our God is amazing.

The cheesecake was just a piece (pun intended)

In the big scheme of things, our family didn’t do much. The cheesecakes were a very small part of J’s journey as he decided to become a part of God’s family. Other people spent far more time with him, helping him study, learn, and grow. We simply found a small way to connect with him and we took advantage of it.

Let God use you

God gave me a silly cheesecake as a reason to reach out and text a new friend. If God can use cheesecake, He can certainly use your great gifts too, no matter what they are.

Listen to the Spirit’s leading and faithfully walk forward. You never know where He might lead!

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How Our Youngest Became Oldest of 9

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Once upon a time, Malachi was the youngest of four boys. We thought he’d hold that status forever, but God had different plans.

18 years ago when Malachi was born, one of my sisters-in-law made the boys adorable shirts that said:

  • Biggest Brother
  • Bigger Brother
  • Big Brother
  • Baby Brother

Having our four boys was so special, and their friendship grew and became beautiful through the years.

 

Then one day, 13 years after Malachi became our baby, God shocked us by adding a four-year-old boy to our family. A few months later, his baby cousin joined us. Within a year, we had adopted them both and Malachi had two younger brothers.

This transition was full of challenges, but Malachi, like all of our older boys, opened his heart and let God grow him into his new role.

God continued to bring more children into our family, and within five years, we had grown from a family of six to a family of 15 (including two parents, four biological children, six adopted children, one foster son, and two daughters-in-law). In addition, one of our former foster sons still spends time with us and we consider him one of our own.

The day we adopted our four girls, the judge asked Malachi to come to the front and sit with Matt and me and the girls. We thought this was strange, seeing as we had lots of other siblings who were a part of this too. But the judge recognized something special about Malachi as he had been the only one of our older sons living at home during the entire process of fostering the sisters we were getting ready to adopt. So with a grin, Malachi stepped down and had a seat with us as Matt and I testified and as the judge finalized our girls’ adoption.

The very next day, Malachi graduated from high school. At first, I was overwhelmed by having two huge events back-to-back. But as the weekend progressed, I was profoundly impacted by how perfectly timed these events were. You see, we had thought that the day Malachi graduated, we would have launched our last child and become empty nesters. But in fact, just the day before, God officially added four more children. The beauty of God’s timing in this astounded me and I couldn’t get over how good God is in overruling our plans and giving us so much more.

Our graduation tradition is to gather in our living room and speak a blessing over our graduate. Here we are, gathered around, listening in as Malachi FaceTimed Justus who couldn’t join us that day.

My blessing was this. I’m sharing it with you so that you know a little bit more about who this wonderful young man is:

Malachi,

We all got a chuckle yesterday when the Judge asked you to sit up front, but the truth is that she was very right when she said, “You need to be up here; you’ve played a very big role in this.” So true.

Today, your graduation day, looks very different than what we all expected five years ago. Literally overnight, you went from being the youngest brother to being an older brother. Within the past five years, you’ve become oldest of nine. THIS WAS SO UNEXPECTED! It hasn’t always been easy for you, but you’ve turned out to be such a beloved big brother to your little sisters and brothers. What a gift you are to them (and to your older brothers, and to Dad and me).

I think God has used this huge life change to teach us all something so important. First, we can make plans for our life, but God is the One who knows what we actually need. Our job is to be open, to listen to Him, and to trust that what He has for us is best – even if it’s hard.

Second, being uncomfortable is often right where God wants us. You’ve been learning this and I pray that you never stop seeking to be uncomfortable in all the ways God wants you to be. I pray that being uncomfortable becomes comfortable as you continue to walk in obedience to Christ.

Third, remember that your identity is in Christ. Not in where you fall in line in our family birth order or in your Sideline Media career (which is awesome, by the way, and we’re so proud of you) or in anything else – but who you are in Christ is all that matters. You are a child of God – adopted, chosen, cherished, and so very loved. Live your life in that love, and choose to let the Holy Spirit love others through you. What amazing things God will continue to do with and through you when you walk in His love.

Thank you for being my boy, and for loving me through my weaknesses. Thank you for crying with me as we’ve navigated these years together. Thank you for always making me laugh. I love you.

Mom

As Malachi launches into adulthood, he will be working full-time at the thriving production company he created two years ago, Sideline Media. He is so admired by his three older brothers Asa, Justus, and Elias. And by his younger siblings Brayden, Kiya, Keith, Anna, Acacia, Josie, Baby#11, and Bonus Brother K.

We truly don’t know what God has in store for us, but we know that He is faithful and He is good. He is provider and we can trust Him fully.

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How to Love People (My New Year Goal)

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I’m writing this post on how to love people because God keeps having to teach me how to love people.

I guess I might be writing this for myself. I need this. Loving people can be hard.

Like, actually loving them. Not just being nice to them. Not just showing kindness. But actually loving them.

I’m not proud of what I am about to share. I’m weeping over it actually. There are some people in our lives that are very hard to love. I’ve never felt this way before.

THESE are MY people, and they are the easiest to love. I don’t have to try to love them and in fact, my love for them is so great that sometimes I can’t even breathe. As God has grown our family, my ability to love has grown. It’s remarkable to experience.

Meanwhile, our little ones come with some baggage. Their baggage becomes mine and I sometimes find myself dealing with texts or communication with people that make me want to scream, ” I JUST WANT TO LOVE AND RAISE THESE KIDS!!! I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE REST OF IT! I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!”

But in fact, I did sign up for this when I said yes to God’s yes. So now I have to figure out how to live and love like Jesus through it.

Am I just a mama bear?

A friend of mine (after I puked my feelings on her for the many-eth time) recently kindly and wisely defended my feelings. “Your mama bear instincts want to protect your babies. There’s nothing wrong with that.” And she’s right. I will always and forever do everything I can for the good of our children, protecting them and seeking what is best for them under harder-than-normal circumstances.

But the truth is that while many of my feelings are normal and understandable, I also have to choose how to use my time and energy when I encounter a challenge with an outside source. How can I do this?

How to love people?

Yes, how to actually love them.

Matt, who is calm and wise and always my sounding board, offered some insights recently and I’ve been praying over them ever since. When I face a challenge that I have no choice but to deal with, I can either:

  • shrink and become soft
  • bristle and become hard
  • or I can choose to let the Holy Spirit do its work in me to truly hear and respond in love

I’m not actually ever responding to anyone with angry words. The problem is inside my head and heart.

My energy and time cannot be taken up by swirling angry and frustrated thoughts. I cannot allow myself to choose ugliness or to let ridiculous inside-my-head conversations full of everything I shoulda-coulda-woulda said to overrule my thoughts.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

This passage tells me to:

  1. Take my thoughts captive.
  2. Make them obey Christ.

All day long.

A boundary around my heart

Someone else’s words should never set my head on fire. Yet I’ve been surprised at how easily angered I can become.

I have to set boundaries in certain relationships, and I have done this. But the biggest boundary is to be put around my own heart. I’m prayerfully working right now to put a Holy Spirit Filter around my heart and head so that when I read a text or have a conversation that frustrates me or makes me hurt, I can still be at peace.

How? By choosing to hear every word through a filter of love.

By recognizing that my God is already at work in each situation. By accepting that He fully loves me and He fully loves the hard people in my life. Because of this, I can love them too. But only with the help of the Holy Spirit.

So I’ve stopped trying so hard

I can’t do it. I can’t love better or be better or do better. It’s all too hard.

But the Holy Spirit can love wholly and freely, and He lives and works in and through me. I am refusing to take on anything that isn’t mine. This includes conflict and any challenge that someone might want to direct at me. In all circumstances, Matt and I will prayerfully work to do what is best for each of our kids. When we come under attack, we will allow the Spirit to give us a loving response. First in our own hearts, then naturally to others.

This brings incredible peace. It also allows love to flow freely, which beautifully takes the place of anger and hurt.

It’s almost a new year

If you’re hoping to do better or be better in 2023, this is great. But I pray that your focus has to do with that which is Spiritual. Nothing else actually matters and everything else, physical and otherwise, will fall into place if we are seeking to let the Holy Spirit be our complete guide and rescue.

My most necessary goal:

To hear every word through a filter of love.

This is my goal, with the help of the Father who sent a comforter to dwell in my heart. This changes everything about how I use my mental and emotional energy, which changes everything about how I walk through my days and love my people.

Dearest Father, help us when we cannot help ourselves. We need you. We can’t do this without you. Be our God. We praise you and seek you for rescue. In Jesus’ name.

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How to Stop Letting Your Thoughts Control You

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Are your thoughts controlling you? Here’s what helps!

Resposted from 2014.

Stop Thinking and Pray

70,000.  That’s how many thoughts we think every day, which breaks down to 1.2 thoughts per second.

Yoo-hoo, dear wonderful person who did the research so as to provide us with this thought provoking information: What I’d like to know is, how many of these thoughts of mine are rational, logical, emotional, or have something to do with cream cheese? Does this statistic count the thoughts I think in my subconscious while I’m sleeping? Or in fact do I cram my 70K thoughts into my awake hours, which ultimately means that all the thoughts I think are running into each other, tackling, punching, vying for attention, thus resulting in a big jumbled pile-up inside my head?

I’d like to believe my thinker works in overdrive because I am an efficient multi-tasker. Yes. This is a gift I have, which in effect allows me to plan dinner, read to my kids, make a mental list of phone calls I need to make, and question whose feet are the culprit of my nostril discomfort – all at the same time. Unfortunately, it is also the thinker that allows me to create scenarios, envision disasters, replay conversations, invent situations, and ultimately freak out inside about what did, could, should, didn’t, would have, and might just happen. It is this thinker that makes me believe that I’m completely on my own and able to solve all the world’s problems, prevent all physical and spiritual calamities for my children, and figure out how to appropriately respond to all conversations and encounters.

This kind of thinking makes me crazy.

So what to do? We can’t stop thinking. (because then we’d be dead. okay then.)  Are those of us who tend to “over-think” situations, worry, fret, and constantly analyze just destined to have a lot of frustration for the rest of our lives?

Jesus says, no way. Just like any sin and struggle, God gives us a simple way out of the crazy.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Take Every Thought Captive

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We control our thoughts. They do not control us. If we allow thoughts that are anxious, frustrated, confusing, angry, controlling, or ungodly in any other way – we need to take them captive and intentionally refocus them to make them obey Christ.

This takes courage, intention, and a heart open to surrender. Christ wants to overtake our thoughts, to fill our minds with his goodness, and to rule our actions. He can’t do that when we ignore Him. He can’t talk to us if we aren’t listening. He can’t fill us with His peace and joy when we refuse to let go of swirling, corrupted thoughts.

Take your thoughts captive. Make them obey Christ. Stop thinking about and trying to figure out all the stuff. Just stop.  Stop thinking and pray. Before every decision. Every situation. Every step forward.

Be amazed at how God offers a solution to every problem you face and how He replaces your anxiety with peace.

Stop thinking and pray. It works! But did we really expect anything less?

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Today Seems Like a Good Day to Read Your Bible…

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How can I encourage you today to read your Bible?

I didn’t used to love it. I didn’t used to crave it. I didn’t used to read my Bible regularly.

It was okay though. I mean, I went to church three times each week. I prayed. I taught my kids about Jesus. I served a bunch of people and made a lot of casseroles for funerals and new moms. I was really nice to everyone.

So I was doing a lot of good things and caring for people. THIS TRULY WAS ALL GOOD.

But also:

  • I was anxious all the time.
  • I always worried about what people thought about me.
  • I frequently replayed conversations I’d had with people, wishing I’d said things better or differently.
  • I worried constantly that I wasn’t doing enough.
  • I tried really, really hard to be a perfect mom, a perfect wife, and a perfect friend.
  • But I couldn’t. So I dug deeper and tried harder…

I was not ok.

I realize now that this is in big part to the fact that I hadn’t truly gotten to know Jesus. That I hadn’t yet realized how I needed to let the Holy Spirit work in me fully.

Hitting a pit of depression broke me. After all, one can only try and try and try to do all the right things, and fail and fail and fail over and over for so long before she hits that pit. Not reaching perfection and working so hard to please all the people and never fully living for Truth – that’ll send a person south.

So there I was. I was not ok. For the first time ever (I was 39 at the time) I finally got out my Bible to read it as if my life depended on it.

Today Seems Like a Good Day to Read Your Bible…

As it turns out, my life does depend on it. So does yours.

  • Knowing Bible stories and having some verses memorize is not enough.
  • Going to church regularly is not enough.
  • Praying daily is not enough.
  • Listening to Christian music and hanging out with Christian people is not enough.
  • Listening to Christian podcasters is not enough.

All of these are huge blessings on our Christian walk. But I have learned from experience that if I am doing all of those things but not spending personal time with Jesus in the Word, I am not at peace.

The only way to really get to know Jesus and His will for your life is to:

  1. Read your Bible.
  2. Meditate on its Truth.
  3. Then talk to God about it.
  4. Listen to what He’s teaching you. (Write down what He’s telling you if that benefits you.)
  5. Breathe in His truth all day long, based on what you read in His word – His beautiful messages to you.
  6. Learn to let the Holy Spirit guide every minute of your day.

It isn’t enough to do good and to try harder. Trust me on this – I’m the one who tried real hard to do real good. I finally recognize how desperately I need Jesus. To be a wife. To be a mom. To be a friend. To be a neighbor. To be a human being walking on this earth.

Open your Bible and let His Word speak to you. Ask God for an open heart to hear Him as you never have before. He is faithful and He will give it.

Let His Word become Life for you.

Now, close your phone or computer and go read your Bible. Ready…go!

More:

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How to Ask for Help

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Here’s how to ask for help. See also: How to say yes to offers of help. Ready? Let’s do this!

Why ask for help?

First, we should probably tackle the reasons we need to ask for help. Is it because we are weak and needy? Well, yes actually. But not in the negative way we typically use those words.

I’ll reshare what I wrote a post a couple of years ago explaining Why You Need to Say “YES” to Offers of Help! The reasons included:

  1. You don’t want to miss out on the powerful work of the Holy Spirit on your behalf through others.
  2. We are called to live a life of humility.
  3. Because…we need it. We. Need. Help.

You can read all the words I said about each of those points here. But in summary, when people offer to help you? Say yes. You’re missing out on more of God’s goodness if you don’t!

So we need help. But…

Why do we struggle to ask for help?

Straight up: I believe that the reason we struggle to ask for help is that we are ashamed. We are holding onto pride. We don’t want to admit to ourselves that we actually need help. We don’t want to appear weak. We would rather be the helper, not the one who needs help.

Stop it.

  1. There is nothing to be ashamed of when asking for help.
  2. Ungodly pride is sinful and keeps us in a place of hurt.
  3. It’s time for us to admit that we most certainly need help!
  4. You can still be a helper. You can also be helped. This is a win-win. Keep reading!

If asking for help is hard for you, it’s time to stop reading this and pray. Ask God to show you how to ask for and say yes to help. Ask Him to heal your pride and to help you acknowledge your needs. Ask Him to fill you with peace and to provide you with answers. Then watch Him be at work for your good!

How I learned to ask for help

The short story is that God didn’t give me a choice. During the past three years, He has filled our home with foster and adopted children, giving us a current total of nine kids as I write this. I currently have three in diapers, one with extra medical needs, and two who are trauma survivors.

My days are so full and the needs in our home are so great that if I didn’t ask for and receive help, I would be drowning.

Right now, I absolutely cannot keep up with laundry. I cannot keep up with dishes. I cannot keep my floors clean. I am running and chasing and training and snuggling and disciplining and in general keeping tiny humans alive all day long. Plus I have a calendar full of meetings, appointments, and events. Caseworkers, therapists, doctors, WIC, lawyers – my phone blows up constantly. My door is revolving with people coming in and out. Sometimes I don’t have time to eat lunch.

Also, I have four older kids. Three out of four have launched, but I’m still their mom. I try to attend their events, answer the phone when they call, offer advice when asked. Our high schooler needs help with school work and guidance in many other ways. I’m not complaining! I’m just sharing the many reasons that:

I have to have help. And I love that God has helped me to embrace my needs and to reach out and ask. The response is overwhelmingly beautiful.

You might be saying to yourself, “Well, I don’t have tons of kids. I don’t have any special needs right now. I am not like you. I can handle my life without help.”

But I caution you to be open-hearted as you consider your true needs. We all need help daily. Some days we need more help, some days we need ALL THE HELP, and some days we may just need a friend to pray for us. Whatever it is you’re doing, be prayerful about humbly accepting help.

Here are some examples of the ways I’ve asked for help JUST THIS WEEK:

  • Can you go with me to Malachi’s soccer game and help me chase kids on the sidelines?
  • Can you come help me clean my kitchen?
  • Can you come watch kids so I can get some blog work done?
  • Can you come over at 3:40 and stay with sleeping littles while I go pick up Sister?
  • Can you make those cookies we love so much so I can serve them with our college student lunch on Sunday?
  • Can you fold the laundry piled up on my bed?
  • Can you come stay with the kids while I go to the chiropractor?
  • Can you come help put kids to bed while we go to Justus and Elias’ performance?
  • Are you available to go get my Walmart pick-up order for me?
  • Can you pray for me? Pray for Baby? Pray for…

Sometimes, I don’t even have to ask. Often, because we have been open to help, people reach out and ask what we need.

I have learned that if someone asks to help me, this is God at work in my life for my good. I will not say no to God’s work in my life for my good. So before I answer, I stop and pray. Then I say yes to their offer and tell them what they can do to help me. Why? Because:

I WILL NOT SAY NO TO GOD’S WORK IN MY LIFE FOR MY GOOD.

Say this out loud. Proclaim it for yourself. May God transform us all into people who joyfully receive help when we need it!

Don’t feel guilty. Feel grateful!

Recently I was in the hospital for an unexpected few days with our baby girl. She was my full-time focus, but we had all of our other children at home needing to be cared for. I called on many people to help, and they all went above and beyond.

I didn’t feel guilty about needing help. I didn’t feel bad about asking for help. I didn’t feel weak for needing help.

Instead, I felt grateful that we have such a loving community surrounding our family. I felt joyful that so many were willing to step in and meet our family’s needs. I felt overwhelmed with all the goodness God provides through His people.

Often the Help is Mutual

Here’s one of the biggest truths I’m learning: When people come to help me, I am helping them too. No one is keeping score. This is simply the beauty of how God works!

Some of our biggest helpers are college students. This has turned into a win-win! They bring over their laundry to throw in while they are helping with our kids. They come over as dating or engaged couples and are being given the opportunity to serve together while they grow in their relationship. They bounce babies while I’m cooking and they learn valuable kitchen skills while they observe. They sweep my floor while we talk about Jesus, giving us both the opportunity to grow as I mentor them and they encourage me. Do you see the beauty in this!?!

Start with prayer

It’s time to learn to ask for help. You can do this, and you need to! We all need to! Listen to God’s direction about this, and obey. Ask Him to show you what kind of help you need. Let Him tell you who to ask and how to ask.

Then watch as He provides the answers, the help, and the humility. Be amazed as peace and love fill you in ways they never could before you reached out for help.

God is good. He is the ultimate helper. Say yes to Him!

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How I’m Using the Christian Living Bundle With My Family

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This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

This week, I’ve been sharing ways we try to keep God as center in our home. How we are making good changes for our kids, especially our teenager. How we love church, but know that our kids need more. Here’s how we make God a part of every day.

I’ve also shared about the Christian Living Bundle that is being offered this week. Today is the final day it is being offered, and I don’t want you to miss it. So I’m going to highlight some of the ways we’re using the resources with our family.

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

But do I really love it?

Ultimate Bundles are always good. Still, I only promote a couple of them a year, and only when I feel that they contain a worthwhile amount of content I can stand behind. The price of the bundles is always amazing considering the amount of resources we get. And because of the low price, even though the bundles contain dozens of materials, I can at least truthfully say something like:

Even if you just use 10 of these products, you’ll be getting your money’s worth!

But with this Christian Living Bundle that I’m sharing with you this week, I can actually say:

You’ll use almost all of the 50 resources in this bundle! Why? BECAUSE THESE MATERIALS ARE CENTERED AROUND OUR CHRISTIAN LIVES!!!!

And yes, that’s a lot of exclamation marks and maybe it sounds salesy and cheesy. That’s not my intent and you know I’m always honest with you.

I’m proclaiming all of this because I love that this bundle is all about Christian Living. This is what actually matters. Food and good health and productive homemaking matter. But what truly matters most is Jesus. And this bundle is all centered around Him!

It’s very hard to pass up such a great collection when the books and courses all point us Upward! These encourage us and teach us to pray more, to be in the Word more, to teach our kids about Jesus, to combat enemy lies, to love our spouses better…

Get it if you can. I plan to use almost all of these in our home. And I even created $21 worth of bonuses as a thank you to everyone who purchases through our links —>

The Christian Living Bundle Facts

  • Price: $29.99 + $10.00 cheat sheets
  • Value: 50 resources worth $1,182.78
  • Contents: 17 eCourses & 14 printable packs, 11 workbooks & 8 eBooks
  • Bonuses: $58
  • Laura’s Bonuses: $21

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

Want the math facts on this? The price divides up to each of these resources costing just $0.60 each! I think that’s fun, especially since many of my favorites in the bundle individually cost around $15 or more!

What I’m using for myself so far:

  • Candid Conversations – a wonderfully intriguing read filled with testimonies from over a dozen Christian women about their real struggles and ways God has helped them to overcome.
  • Every Thought Captive: Body-Mind-Spirit Exercises for Emotional Regulation – I love this!!! Many of the exercises described in this book are some that my Christian therapist uses. It’s great to have these as a resource to use on my own as needed. Get rid of the lies! Replace them with God’s truth! Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ!
  • Fruit of the Spirit Yoga Series – I actually haven’t started this yet. But I signed up and can start just as soon as I have a minute to myself (toddler naptime hopefully!).
  • Gospel Love: How to Apply 7 Key Teachings of Jesus to Live Your Best Marriage eCourse – These are great videos and materials that Matt and I can use to grow our own marriage and to mentor the young couples who come to us for encouragement and counseling.

See these, and everything else included, here.

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What I’m using so far with Brayden (age 7), Sister (age 5), Keith (age 2), and Brother (age 2):

  • Walking with God: Bible Lessons for Families – This is such a fun online series of lessons! They include great videos that are short and appealing to kids. Our kids are having so much fun learning the Bible stories through video. Then we talk about it, sing the songs, do some of the offered activities. So far, the kids have really been enjoying this!
  • Alphabet Maze + Bible Verse Superhero Activity Bundle – This includes mazes, coloring, games, and other educational activities infused with bible verses and faith-based activities to create hours of fun and learning for children. These are perfect for quiet time learning.
  • Children’s Easter Coloring Book – There are pages for adults to color too, so sometimes we sit down together and color and visit about Jesus’ love for us as he died, and His power as He defeated death and rose again!
  • Miracles and Parables: Read and Color Stories from the New Testament – I haven’t done it yet, but I’m planning to print these for the kids so we can make books to work through this summer to focus on learning miracles and parables of Jesus with these read and color printable storybooks.

See these, and everything else included, here.

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What I’m using with Malachi (our 16 year old)

We’ve either started these or plan to during the next weeks and months:

  • Intentional Living Through Prayer – prayer prompts for every day of the year. These offer such great cues and inspiration to walk teens (and all of us!) through praying intentionally.
  • 30 Day Retreat With God – I love everything about this one! It helps us dig into learning more about who God is so we can love and serve better. It’s practical and simple to work through. A super helpful resource to give us topics to discuss and pray over.
  • A Grateful Heart Bible Study – It’s too easy to be negative and to complain. I look forward to going through this study with Malachi as we focus on God’s work in our lives.
  • James: Self Study Workbook – I wanted to read through James with Malachi anyway, and this book makes it so much better!

See these, and everything else included, here.

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The Christian Living Bundle 2021

In short, while I don’t always do this with every bundle, this time I downloaded everything! If I’m not using it now, I’ll use it later. What a gift to have access to all of these!

And don’t forget the bonuses I’m giving you!

I’m excited about these because they answer questions I get frequently. And they are items we use in our home too! When you buy the Christian Living Bundle through our links, we’ll thank you by sending you a file with these printable items:

Bible Reading Guide ($8.00)

I have been working on this resource because it very simply answers frequent questions I get about personal Bible study and about spending Bible time with family.

  • How to Start Reading Your Bible Regularly
  • Three-Step Guide to Make the Bible Meaningful
  • How to Read the Bible with Little Ones
  • Scripture to Read and Discuss with Your Teens

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101 Scripture Focus Cards ($10.00)

I uploaded these to Walgreens and had them print this file onto 4×6 photo cards. We pull them out at mealtime and practice memorizing them as a family. These prompt great discussion too. I especially love this because everyone in our family, from age 2 to age 47, benefit from memorizing scripture!

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Table Talk Cards ($3)

And speaking of great discussion, these cards have been great at mealtime too. All of us at our house, from age 5 to adult can answer the questions on these cards and share them around the table!

 

Get your Christian Living Bundle here, then email me your receipt so I can send you the bonuses. Start digging in with your family. Let God be a part of every moment in every day!

This offer ends at midnight, Thursday, March 25. Get it while you can. Let’s turn our focus to Jesus!

 

Countdown Timer

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More Than Sunday Morning: How Our Family Focuses on God All Week Long

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This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Today I want to share ways our family focuses on God every day.

I might be crying.

I need you to know that I’m writing this from a place of hardship and humility. Anything good that has come from our parenting has been because God is constantly pursuing us and our kids. He makes up for all of our shortcomings and this humbles me to lay down flat on the floor because we.can.not.do.this.alone.

We don’t read our Bibles and pray and go to church because “it’s the right thing to do.”

We spend so much time in the Word and in prayer personally and with our kids because we desperately need it. We do it because life is hard. We can’t do life without Jesus.

Most of the time I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I can try to parent through my own strength, but all I have to offer my kids is my weak but willing, loving heart with a side of scrambled eggs. When I parent with Jesus, everything is different. I’m different. I’m better.

And I still fail, which makes me mad. I want love to be enough. I want to be enough. And of course, it is and I am – when I parent through God’s love.

My human love is weak. My flesh fails. Sin wages war against us and I have to be in constant prayer to stand firm and help my kids stand firm.

So I’m sharing what we try to do in our home because I know that we aren’t alone in our struggle. Raising kids is a challenge and we have to do it with the help of the Holy Spirit. Raising kids and teens is incredibly difficult. Satan wants to win them and he works hard and I hate him. So now you know.

As I shared yesterday:

Our Kids Need So Much More Than Church.

If we expect our kids to grow up loving God and embracing Jesus and living life through the guidance of the Holy Spirit – but all we give them is an hour of church on a Sunday morning – we might be disappointed with the outcome.

First, our kids need parents who love Jesus and spend time constantly growing a relationship with the Father. So we grown-ups need to be intentionally focused on digging into the Word and letting God teach us His plans for us.

Then, as we grow, our kids grow. We talk about God in our homes constantly. We bring Truth into every situation. We read the Bible together, sing praises together, pray together, discuss Truth together.

Make no mistake: Church is good.

We very much value our church life. We love all that our kids are learning about God and His people when we join our church family on Sunday morning.

  • We worship together in song and in prayer as a body of believers.
  • We grow our relationships with other Christians through fellowship.
  • Our kids get to take part in Bible lessons in their classes.

Our kids learn a lot at church and have formed deep, life-long friendships with Christian peers. They have been mentored and loved by caring adults. Church life is huge!

But it isn’t all that our kids need. It’s not all that any of us need.

We all need 24-7 Jesus. All week Bible. Constant Holy Spirit guidance. A mind and heart that is always in prayer.

How Our Family Focuses on God All Week Long

Our practices at home have evolved through the years and through different seasons. Through each season, our Bible study, prayer life, and Jesus-teaching have been ever-evolving to meet the needs of everyone in our home.

I shared yesterday that one of our biggest challenges now is trying to teach so many little ones without watering it down so much that our 16-year old misses out on deeper study and deeper God-truths that he’s ready for. So we try to be intentional about giving him what he needs while teaching little ones too.

Here’s a gentle rundown of the practices we do daily in our home if possible:

  1. We talk about God and His work in our lives all throughout the day. We make a real effort to make Him a part of everything and every conversation. We praise Him out loud for the nature we see around us, for the food we have on the table, and we bring Him into the discussion as we discipline or correct our kids. (i.e. “Jesus wants us to love each other and be kind. Are you being kind and loving to your sister right now?”)
  2. We use mealtime to learn scripture with a tradition that has come to be known as “Repeat Afters.” Each of us takes turns saying a phrase of scripture and everyone else repeats the scripture phrase. It looks something like this:

    Dad: As far as it depends on you…
    Everyone Else: As far as it depends on you
    Dad: …live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
    Everyone else: …live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18

    After everyone has taken a turn being the leader, we have worked our way through five or more verses, depending on who is home at the time.

  3. We have family “Singing and Prayer Time” as part of our little one’s bedtime routine. After the kids are jammied and brushed and pottied or diapered, we gather around the living room. We sing about six songs because we are a family who loves singing! Then everyone, from toddlers to parents, takes a turn saying a prayer.
  4. Next, it’s Bible time. The little ones gather around Dad as he reads from our Jesus Storybook Bible before we head upstairs to tuck everyone in.
  5. As we tuck in the little ones, we do what the kids have started to call “Jesus Loves!” We make a big deal of nighttime kisses saying to each one, “Jesus…loves…BRAYDEN!!!” “Jesus…loves…KEITH!!” and so on. The kids love this and usually giggle when it’s their turn!!!! And what a great reminder to each of them that Jesus loves them.
  6. Finally, we read the entire chapter of Psalm 91 over them as a prayer of protection just before our final goodnight.

Beyond this, during the little one’s naptime many days, Malachi and I dig into the Word together so we can have more in-depth discussion about scripture and applying it to his/our lives. Matt tries to take him (and our college boys) to lunch from time to time so they can visit more individually about godly manhood.

Any college students who happen to be at our house during Singing and Prayer Time get to join us. The singing is amazing, the prayer time is rich. We love this so much!

Extras

Throughout the day or evening, we try to make the most of our video time or reading time. There’s a fun video series on Amazon Prime that we pull up every week. The kids have fun watching the animated version of a Bible story, then we all talk about it to make sure they understand the Truth they just watched.

Since I got the Christian Living Bundle, our 7, 5, and 2-year-olds are enjoying the videos and lessons in the Walking with God eCourse. I’ve also printed off some of the activities from other books in the bundle that are geared toward little ones. They give us a great opportunity to talk about God’s Word and His plans for us.

Malachi and I are enjoying the 30 Day Retreat with God eBook. We’ve been working through it as part of his school day during the toddler’s naptime.

I’ll share more tomorrow about our favorites from the bundle. They’ve been such great resources to add to our daily routines.

My Mornings

Maybe I should have started the post with this, seeing as do everything I can to start my day in the Word. This has become harder again now that we have a baby who doesn’t sleep through the night. But I crave this time in the morning with Jesus and need it so I find that it’s worth it to make myself crawl out of bed, sneak downstairs before the littles get up, fix a cup of coffee, and sit in my chair with Jesus for even a few minutes before starting the day.

God is faithful. He knows what we need. He knows our circumstances. He provides.

Before we started over with new little ones, I had hours of time every week to spend in the Word. Now, my time is more limited, but He sustains and brings scripture to mind even when I am not able to open the Book. I love Him. He is so good.

Read more here about how I spend time in the Word and in prayer every day as much as possible.

We are weak. He is strong!

The enemy attacks any way he can, and we find that we have to constantly stand firm in Truth, remembering that Jesus already won the battle. We fight against weaknesses and find that we have to especially be intentional with our teens. They fight raging battles and need us to fight alongside them.

But at the end of the day, we know that spending time in the Word and in prayer with our children as much as possible is incredibly beneficial to all of us.

  • When we hear our 5 and 7-year-olds praying at night, it is evident that they are hearing and digesting the Truths they are learning.
  • When we have hard discussions with our 16-year old, we hear that his heart is seeking good. His relationship with God is growing and we get to grow with him.
  • When our college kids come home from their dorm/apartment to throw in a load of laundry and they grab a cup of coffee and sit down for a chat, it is evident that God is so much more to them than a Sunday morning “thing we do.” Their relationship with their Father, their recognition of their need for Jesus as their Savior, and their reliance on the Holy Spirit as guide are beautiful to witness.
  • When our oldest makes his way west from his home in Lincoln to spend a few hours with us, and we hear all that he’s doing and all the ways God is working in his life – we marvel at our Savior and at the growth He gives.

THIS IS GOD AT WORK!!!

We realize how important it is and has been to be intentional about growing their relationship with God at home, from age 0 to age forever. No matter what we do and what it looks like, we must be intentional to do something. Our kids need church, but they need much more than church.

The Christian Living Bundle 2021

Resources to Help

The Bible, alone, is enough. We can open it and have all the help we need as we guide our families through life in Him.

But there are also great resources for us to use! Why reinvent the wheel when we can use so many great books, videos, classes, and printables available to us that have been created by people who have learned much and can teach us from what they have learned? I’m loving the resources from the Christian Living Bundle being offered this week, and want you to have it too. Truly, these books and courses are so practical and helpful. Get this and let it help you in your walk and as you guide your family!

QUICK FACTS about the Christian Living Bundle

  • Dates: Monday March 22nd at 8am EST to Thursday March 25th 11:59pm EST 
  • Price: $29.99 + $10.00 cheat sheets
  • Value: 50 resources worth $1,182.78
  • Contents: 17 eCourses & 13 printable packs, 11 workbooks & 9 eBooks
  • Bonuses: $58

After you purchase, send me your receipt and I’ll send you a file with these free bonuses!

I’d love to hear about ways you and your family fill your home with God’s Truth! How do you spend time in the Word in the quiet? How do you teach your kids? What are some of your routines and traditions?

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!