Some readers request that I share more recipes. Some suggest that I share too many recipes. Some don’t like that I post spiritual content. Some wish I would post more spiritual content. Some roll their eyes at the deals I share. Some cheer and do flips for the deals I share. I always listen to what my readers have to say because I love offering content that will bless you in your homemaking efforts. I also know that what one person really needs or desires isn’t necessarily what the next person needs or wants. So it is with pretty much all of life, right?
It happens around my dinner table every single live long day. Someone is bound to not like what I served while others are gladly taking thirds. It happens during a every Sunday worship service. Some love the song selection and others find them to be too slow or too fast for their liking. Some find the sermon to be super meaningful and others find it to be irrelevant. I could think of other examples but some might prefer that I get on with my point.
Here’s the truth that we need to learn down to our very core:
1. You can’t please ’em all
2. You can’t be pleased by all
I’m not sure which is more important to know and which is the hardest to remember. Both involve the need to surrender self. It’s hard and it hurts but this is what I’m beginning to understand: Trying to please all and expecting others to always rise to my occasion is harder and hurts worse than choosing to surrender self. Selfish living is completely empty – not to mention absolutely exhausting. Trying to constantly please others leaves me feeling defeated and discouraged. Thinking others must always please me leaves me frustrated and let down. No thank you, no thank you, no thank you. I surrender, Jesus. What do you have for me that is better? What about this? What if we understood these two simple truths:
1. God is the only One we should seek to please.
2. God is the only One who will sufficiently meet all of our needs.
I think that pretty much covers it.
When I seek to please God, letting go of others’ (real or imagined) expectations of me, I will likely still be pleasing others. I won’t please them all, but God never asked me to and for real – if I was pleasing everyone why in the world would people ever recognize their need to seek Jesus? Okay then.
When I recognize that God is the One who meets my needs, suddenly that which is petty becomes irrelevant and that which matters turns into a Christ-centered passion. That’s how it works when one is listening to and letting the Holy Spirit work. So, my friend, remember this: You will never please everyone. Also, people will sometimes frustrate you, especially when they do things differently than you would do them. This is life.
Instead of wallowing, I suggest we use our energy to seek Jesus and live as He calls each of us. Doesn’t that just sound refreshing? If this is something you struggle with like I do, might I suggest that you read (your whole Bible and also) read Hebrews 12? Being disciplined hurts, but it makes us more holy. Yes, holiness! Bring it.
Ahh…. So true! Also you are you, you have the strengths and weaknesses that are you. Others will always love or hate you for those weaknesses and also your strengths!
Yeah I try to please everyone and then get overwhelmed and heavy burdened. I expect everyone to do it my way, and it’s discouraging. However when I accept what others offer, and how they offer it, I’m usually more grateful for it!! :)
Great thoughts!
Btw I love your blog! It feels like I am meeting a new friend!
Praise God! Thank you super really lotta much. ????
I put a smiley in there and it put them as questions marks…woops!
Hmm…I think you posted this for me. How’d you know I’d be up at 4am unable to sleep because I noticed I was unfriended by someone I thought was a friend -wracking my brain trying to think what I did wrong! Thanks for the redirection!
I love your blog and am never upset by what you post! :-)
Thank you, dear Laura, for another great reminder of where my heart should be! Love you and your blog. You are a blessing to many! I used to struggle more with this and still do at times. But you are absolutely right, it is exhausting and selfish to try to make everyone like things your way! We have had a huge struggle with getting our son to eat what we serve him. We have never been the type to cater to him or give him special food, but he would sit at the table (still does sometimes) and gag after putting one tiny bite of food in his mouth. I was so hurt by this for so long! I thought I must be a terrible cook. Finally my husband reminded me of just what you are saying. We just kept trying and last night he ate an entire bean and rice burrito all together! He normally tears his food apart and picks at it so this is a huge step! My point is, it had nothing to do with my cooking. He has his own problems to overcome and rather than waste my energy feeling sad and angry and bitter I should love him and support him and encourage him to overcome his obstacles. When I started focusing my energy in the right places, God was able to work. We gotta get out of the way!!
Love the blog you shared today! My sister shared your blog with me a few weeks ago and i absolutely LOVE IT! I have tried many of your recipes and all of them have been super easy and delicious thus far. That is my kind of cooking/baking :) I say share more recipes, please!!! :) that would please me :)
Thanks, Laura, for your lovely blog and your lovely spirit!
You continue to be you… we love your sight or we wouldn’t be following. And, btw, love the recipes and the spiritual thoughts.
Hey, what are you doing in my head? I struggle with this very same thing. My hubby calls it “Super K”, trying to be a super hero. And I love the waving white flag of surrender…very fitting for your message. And if I pleased everyone, then why would they seek Jesus. Wow. Just wow. Thank you for the encouragement. I’m not the only who struggles with it and Surrender is the key…jsy confirmation.
You are a blessing & encouragement to all who stop by. You are definitely my favorite blogger & the only one I regularly read & stay caught up with. Why? Because you share from your heart, you share your life, you share good & important information on how to live a healthier life (physically, mentally, spiritually), you are not pushy or over the top on what you believe like there is no other way, you encourage us to take those baby steps to get where we want to be, you let it be known that at the end of the day God is bigger than any healthy food or step we take. Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing your heart, family, & life. May God bless you richly for being obedient to Him.
I agree 100% and couldn’t have said it any better, Shelli!
Hear, hear!
Amen!
Amen!
Love it! It seems like online people are getting out of control with things they are saying to others that we would never say in real life. I’ve followed you for several years now & just love your writing, hearing about your family & especially your love of Jesus!
I love everything that you share and I do not think that it is too much or too lettle.
Amen, sister!
This made me think of the saying, “You can please some of the people all the time, and all the people some of the time, but never all the people all the time. ”
Love what you’re doing.
For 26 years my husband and I were DINK’s (dual income no kids). Now I am a homemaker (my 2nd career) and I love it. I also love you for helping all of us homemakers improve at what we do. I may only read about 2/3’s of your blogs (mainly because I have no kids) but find in every one that I read a wealth of information that applies to my life. I also love the fact that you bring your faith to the table (or keyboard) so often. It is a vital part of who you are. We should never change what we are doing to please someone else.
Be right with God and with yourself and you will be happy. :) Thanks for all you do Laura!
Advice I need to hear over and over, not just as a people-pleaser, but as a youth minister’s wife. Sometimes the expectations, real and imagined, feel so crushing! Thanks for the encouragement and reminder. I have a feeling it will be even more important when our daughter is born. Everyone is already filling our ears with advice. Which is great, except oftentimes advice from one person is opposite that of another. I guess we have to find what works best for US. :)
I cordially invite all of those who take issue with anything posted on your site to click the black “x” at the top right of the screen and find something else to read.
*Hugs*
This is so true! Your blog is marvelous, a window into how to really walk out healthy with a big family. Your posts are humble and your advice is helpful! Keep up the good work. I’ve been a reader since finding you at Moneysavingmom.com many years ago. :)
Yet another well written, well-timed, and thought provoking post. I most definitely fall trap to people pleasing. Thanks for all you do to keep us encouraged and growing closer to Jesus! Hugs!!!
Thank you so much for posting this. The Lord is really using it to speak to me today. We are having problems with 3 of our older boys (we have 6 boys) straying from the will of the Lord. This, along with other family issues, has affected our younger two. This has led to so much of what you wrote about today-my expectations for others, others having expectations of me, and all of it destroying our focus on the only thing that matters-JESUS! Thank you for always bringing it back to Him, our first love. I so needed the encouragement today to let the Holy Spirit carry us through all of this and to release hurt, anger, resentment, and any other junk that the enemy has tried to throw at us. Blessings to you and your family!!!
Thank you Laura for all you open, honest, spiritual and fun loving tips. I eat it up and because of it, my family benefits. Thank you for serving this way.
I always love reading about your spiritual insights, the latest about your sweet family, your easy and delicious recipes, and even about your toilet! Please keep writing about all those things and more, keep showing us the real you.
Seeing your email in my inbox each morning starts my day off right. :)
Awesome reminder! I needed that….thanks Laura.
I love reading your blog! One thing I’ve been learning this year, though, is how harmful the idea is that rather than trying to please people, we should try to please God alone. Trying to please God leads to the same anxiety and exhaustion, because let’s face it: God’s standards are in fact much higher than any person’s! He requires perfection. BUT (& this is an important BUT), God is perfectly 100% pleased with Christ, and if we are in him, we can rest and be assured that it is ENOUGH. Jesus said, “It is finished.” So rather than saying, “I don’t need to please everyone; I only need to please God,” we can say, “I don’t need to please everyone because God is perfectly pleased with me in Christ.” Big difference! This way of thinking doesn’t lead to living selfishly or being inconsiderate of others; quite the opposite! When we “live loved” we are free to do what is pleasing to God, without striving to please him. I hope that’s not considered splitting hairs! As I said, it’s something God has been pressing into my heart lately, so I wanted to share, hoping it will bring joy and freedom to others!
Just perfect!
Love this. And I’ve told many of my people pleasing friends the same thing. It’s your blog post whatever you want! If they don’t like to hear about your recipes/God/deals they need to find a different blog! And I too have the issue of polar opposite children. There is no pleasing everyone. Healthy is actually my only goal and I can’t even always manage that!