A few times a week, I babysit for a little girl who is almost two.

Today, we opened the door to greet Emma and her daddy, and immediately Malachi (age 3) holds a plastic pistol up to her chest.

What a greeting.

And there sweet Emma is, with her little heart shaped red velvet purse in one hand and her pink baby doll in the other hand.

As Emma’s daddy was pulling the door closed behind him to leave, Malachi says, “Emma, I’m going to shoot you!”

Hm. I wonder if I’ll ever be allowed to babysit Emma again after today.

I apologize in advance for making you read this…but really, you must have this sneak peek into my world with four boys. And have compassion for me, for this is what I must live with. 

(You know don’t you, that I wouldn’t trade my four boys with all their potty humor, light sabers, and wrestling matches for all the pink, fru-fru, sit down and color quietly girly-girls in the whole wide world?)

(How do you spell “fru-fru?”)

Anyway, yesterday, one of the boys was trying to figure out the name of that cheese…you know, the one that smells bad…?

And I suggested that he’s probably thinking of parmesan.

And he says, “Oh yeah. That’s it.”

“It totally smells like fried eggs with toot sauce.”

(Whoops of laughter…)

OH MY. I HAD to leave the room. 

WHERE do they come up with these things?

I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I don’t think I stopped laughing for at least 10 minutes. Seriously, 10 minutes.

And now I’m at it again and I can’t tyyyyype.

Well, I’ll leave you with that, and apologize again because I hope I didn’t ruin parmesan cheese for you forever.

Ah, thank you God for boys!

Okeedokee….

Just thought you’d love to hear about my morning.

I was trying to get through the breakfast dishes, while scooting homemade valentines around on the countertops so that they wouldn’t get wet…when Justus (who turns 8 tomorrow!) came in and said,

“Mom, I can’t get this off my finger.”

And I, being the attentive mom that I am, said,

“Okay, just let me finish these dishes real quick first.”

So he waits patiently and tries to get the thing off of his finger while I work on the dishes.

And then I actually LOOK at my child and realize…ooh, that thing doesn’t look like it wants to come off any time soon.

Oh, brother.

So, I took off my rubber gloves and decided that maybe this was a priority over the dishes. 

However (bless his heart), I REALLY wanted to take a picture of the hand because I know the making of a good blog post when I see one. 

So he rolled his eyes and held out his hand in front of the camera like the dutiful son of a blogger.

And then, I tried to get the wooden ring off. And I tried. And I tried some more. And I felt like I was going to tear the poor kid’s finger off!

And it wouldn’t budge.

And then Asa hollered in to me that Malachi needed to go poopoo.

And then Elias hollered in at me that the little 10 month old that I babysit for was stuck somewhere (I didn’t hear where…probably better that way)…

And Justus is still standing there with this orange ring around a soon to be blue finger.

Eeek!

So, I say,

“Asa, can you please take Malachi potty…Elias can you help the little guy get unstuck…Justus will you go get out the butter?…(or get the phone so I can call the fire department?).”

So they all did, and I smeared butter all over Justus’ finger. And it STILL didn’t want to come off.

Oh My Goodness!!! Take a deep breath. 

Justus was super calm through the whole thing, only asking me once,

“Mom, have you ever heard of someone getting something on their finger and then NEVER being able to get it OFF?!?!?”

And I said,

“Yes.”

“But don’t worry. We’ll get it off somehow.” (Even if I have to call Daddy to come home and get out the chainsaw…or something just as sharp but significantly smaller.)

Well, I kept wriggling the thing and feeling so bad, because it HAD to have hurt. Tough ‘ol guy.

And the thing FINALLY came off.

Without firemen, chainsaws or emergency rooms.

Then Justus held up his hands for an “after” picture and ran off to play like nothing ever happened.

“Uh, Justus…come back here and wipe the butter off of that ring and GO PUT IT WHERE IT GOES AND PLEASE don’t do that again ever.”

Then, I went to go retrieve the baby that Elias had gotten unstuck (without the help of butter) and then went to go help Malachi finish up in the bathroom and then went to help Asa with his math, as he had been asking for help long before this all started.

Sooooooo…..

Nothin’ like a CRAZY morning to make one temporarily forget that they miss eating SUGAR!