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Can Mom Have More Fun?

January 10, 2021 by Tasha Hackett 1 Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Can mom have more fun? Any fun at all? How is it even possible with all these responsibilities? I absolutely adore this post from Tasha. I cried through it, because my mom-life is full and amazing but hard and exhausting. I needed this. I’m guessing you might too…

Can Mom Have More Fun?

by Tasha Hackett

Being a mother is amazing. A-ma-zing. But being trapped and tied down weighs on me until I might crumble. When all the parts of me that made me Tasha turn into Mom Mom Mom Mom, I begrudge this life that I find myself in. Sometimes it appears I’ve forgotten how to have fun as a mother. This post is because I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only overwhelmed mom out there who needs to hear this.

Why is it hard for moms to have more fun?

Of course it’s a foolish thing to wish myself out of where I am. I mean, come on! This is my happily ever after! This is the life I always wanted, always assumed I would have. As a kid, I hardly had any career goals because I knew I would be home with my kids doing all the things I loved–cooking, creating things, teaching my kids, singing, playing, holding babies and going on adventures with my mom friends and their kids. But instead I’m stuck doing laundry, and dishes, and managing the budget, and sweeping the floor over and over and over again until I’m staring at this home I’ve built around me and wanting to take a sledge hammer to all of it and go live in a cabin in the woods–which I would hate by the way, unless my family came with me because I totally love them. 

As it turns out, God absolutely and completely knew what he was doing when he gave me these kids. Motherhood is a baptism by fire, and it’s growing me into a woman of courage and strength and refining me into something beautiful. (Right?! God love me for it, but I am so stinkin’ broken.)

tasha and baby

Why is the fun gone?

You know why. For those of us who are in the grind of raising little tiny kids, we have routines that must be abided. We mothers are stressed by all the things we’re in charge of rattling around in our brains. When meals, sleep, and routines get out of whack, everyone pays for it. The energy it takes to simply survive doesn’t always leave much room to have more “fun.” Now, let’s be clear. I am not talking about creating more fun for the kids. No, I’m not worried about their fun. They get to play, play, play all the live-long day. I’m interested in mothers. Why aren’t we having fun? As a parent, am I having fun? Am I fun? What used to be fun? Is it still fun? Why not? What else can I do that makes me happy? 

tasha

Side story about how much fun I had the past three years. 

Incidentally, the past three years have been a doozy. Blessings upon blessings, but also a pile of personal, internal, trials. In the meantime, I thought it would be a good idea to start my writing career. Maybe not the best timing with the whole birthing of the fourth child and all. 

But here I am, and writing has been so much stinking fun. 

During the first lock-down of the pandemic, the husband worked from the basement. I seized the opportunity of the extra time and support and finished my novel, Bluebird on the Prairie. I don’t tell you this to brag . . . nope, okay, I’m bragging a little. . . but mostly because I am amazed and full of joy at having completed such a magnanimous accomplishment that I can’t help sharing it. Was it ever so much work? Yes. Girl… yes. So. Much. Work. Guess what else it was? Rewarding. And, you guessed it. Fun! It was fun. 

A crazy thing about writing books is how much I learn from my characters when they start speaking all by themselves and spout off random bits of wisdom that I never could have thought up on my own. They’re smart like that.

Please read this scene snippet that tugs at my heart: 

Zeke lowered himself to the ground and leaned against the tree. “It’s not that I’m not grateful, because I am. But I can’t . . . I’m not a farmer. I don’t want to be a farmer.” He set his hat on the ground. Running both hands through his hair before clasping them behind his neck, he sighed. “I don’t know, Chipmunk, do you ever feel like everyone’s got a plan for your life, and forgot to ask how you felt about it first?” 

“Why do you call me Chipmunk?”

He grinned at her. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

She pulled a handful of grass and threw it at him. The wind caught most of it and she watched it drift. “I envy you.”

“How so?” 

“You wanted to go, so you did. To have that kind of freedom. To be brave enough to take a chance.” 

“Stupid enough, you mean. Did you get a good look at the goober who fell on his face? That man was lonely, dirty, and starving.” 

Eloise did remember, and blushed thinking of it. If it hadn’t been for her standing in the creek only half dressed, he never would have fallen. “At least you keep smiling through it,” she said, “I don’t know how to have fun anymore.”

“I just do what makes me happy. Within reason . . . Fried chicken? Makes me happy. Catching frogs? Makes me happy. Singing? Makes me happy. What makes you happy? Do that.” He shrugged, like there was nothing to it.

What did make her happy? There were things she used to do for fun, but when put to the question she was stumped. 

Zeke prodded. “There isn’t anything you do, that makes all the bad stuff disappear for a while?” 

“I don’t know. If there is, I’ve forgotten.”

Can I share a fun secret? 

Fun doesn’t need to be extravagant. Sometimes I forget to be happy. It’s wrong and it’s not God’s plan for me. Sometimes I don’t know how to have more fun as a mother. I get so caught up in what I can’t do and what I wish I could be doing, that I don’t make use of the fun freely available. One of the things that brings me joy is writing. And so I do, and I did. Laura lets me talk to you and I have dreams of many more novels to come! But… the simple, freely-available-doesn’t-cost-anything fun? That comes from a spirit of peace. A peace that knows my kids are well loved, even if their rooms are a mess because I haven’t properly trained them on how to keep them tidy. A peace that extends to the husband when he’s 20 minutes later coming home from work than I expected.

tasha and kids

Peace comes from knowing I am worthy of God’s love. 

Listen up, friend. You are worthy of God’s love. He didn’t raise his son from the dead for someone he didn’t love. He didn’t come back from the grave for us to walk about the house grumpy about laundry! I believe He wants us to have life, and have it to the fullest–not just later, but now! Absolutely we are called to sacrifice so much of ourselves. But nobody ever asked us to stop having fun, we did that all on our own. 

Here’s how I had fun today: 

  • When the kids played in the yard, I read a book for 45 minutes. 
  • When the kids asked for a snack I opened a jar of peanuts and gave it to them. And then showed off, unsuccessfully, how I could throw and catch one in my mouth.
  • While the baby played with a stack of books I got on my hands and knees and growled at him until he looked my way, then I slinked towards him like a tiger. He squealed and laughed at me. 
  • I was blasting show tunes on my phone when Ben came home from work (20 minutes late), and as I sang along, I started dancing for him. He pulled me into his arms, twirled me around a few times and dipped me over his knee before the kids claimed his attention. 
  • At dinner I shared a new book idea with the kids and asked them to come up with any funny things that might happen to my characters. 

You are pretty when you smile.

Yeah, okay. I know. Sometimes life is really really hard. I understand hard. I’ve been there, and I’m still there sometimes. To be perfectly honest, I don’t want to get out of bed most mornings because I dread the tasks ahead. Being a mom and the humility, compassion, empathy, and selflessness that needs to come with that is the hardest thing. I’m a work-in-progress. 

A few years ago I laughed at something and my, then five-year-old, son said, “Mom! You’re so pretty when you smile.” And it broke my heart in a million tiny pieces because what he really said was, “I haven’t seen you smile in a long time.”

ben and tasha

Do it for you.

Can you find ways to have more fun? I don’t know everything going on in your life that’s causing you so much stress you’ve forgotten how to have fun. But I can guess at some of it. Here’s a hint: Don’t make food harder than it has to be. Laura’s given us way too many resources and recipes for us to be wasting time complaining about kitchen duty. 

I’m not even going to leave you with scientific facts about how laughing is healthy and makes you live longer. Nope. How about we make time for fun, simply because fun is fun? Nobody goes to bed thinking, “Man, I wish I hadn’t had so much fun today.” 


Tasha HackettTasha Hackett, author of Bluebird of the Prairie, (a heartwarming romance releasing Spring 2021), is fueled by sunshine or hot chocolate—whichever is more readily available. She pretends to be a ballerina while cleaning the kitchen and can sing along to every word of every Wee-Sing Silly Songs album. Four children and a husband have filled her days with more than enough to keep her busy, but creative hobbies continually find their way onto her to-do list. You can connect with her on Instagram @hackettacademy or for Laura @heavenlyhomemaker. 

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Who Even Cares Anymore About Free Range Chicken?

January 3, 2021 by Laura 2 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Would you look at this? My first post of 2021 is about our beloved Free Range Chicken. I bet you’re wondering how I feel about this subject now…

What I’m about to share may surprise you. It might even disappoint you. But well, life has taken a huge shift for us and while I wouldn’t have believed it myself had you told me I’d feel this way in 2021, here we are, and here is how I feel.

I don’t actually care about free-range chicken anymore. This is the truth.

What am I even talking about?

This free-range chicken chatter all started back in 2014 with my God is Bigger than a Free Range Chicken post. Remember that? In my early healthy-eating days,  was allllll into organic and free-range and fermented and all the best of the best. Then God reminded me that He is bigger and biggest and real food is still real food, even when it wasn’t raised at Harvard and sung to from the womb. So I wrote this to encourage us to focus on eating healthy food without stress.


Oh look. It’s a couple of free-range chickens.

Then God taught me even more, so the next post on this subject in 2018 turned out: Beyond the Free Range Chicken. God had shown me in hundreds of ways how loving people is much more important than loving food. That focusing on Him is a better choice and much healthier and more balanced than focusing on organic salad and grass-fed beef. That while eating well is important – the only reason for it is so that we are healthy enough to serve in all the ways He asks us to serve. You can read the full post here.

So now here we are in 2021. As we’ve sought God in new ways and opened our hearts to His plans for us, He surprised us by starting our family over again. Just when we thought our grocery budget would finally go down as our big boys launched the nest, the grocery budget stayed the same and maybe even went up a little as God moved more kids into our home.

We’ve currently adopted two and have three others in foster care with many unknowns as we walk forward each day. (Those pesky unknowns? These are all completely known to God. We just don’t know the full plans yet. We wait and we pray and sometimes we cry because unknowns on earth are hard if we focus on the flesh instead of looking down from our seat in the Heavenly Realms.)

So here we are, with nine kids at the time of this writing. (Three are launched from the nest. Three are under the age of 2. Some are healing from intense trauma. One has some minor medical issues. You don’t want to know how many diapers we go through in one day.)

Our foster care/adoption journey has taken us on a beautiful, wild, challenging, ever learning-to-trust-God ride since April of 2018. Every day of that ride, God shows us more about what is truly important and what we need to let go of so that we can focus on what actually matters for the Kingdom.

What does actually matter?

Love. Trusting the One who loves us beyond what we can possibly understand.

But the truth is also this: It’s easy to think about how beautiful that is – the loving and the trusting – but it is hard to actually live fully in that truth.

While love overflows from our hearts because of the Spirit living in us, what currently overflows from my house is a big pile of dirty laundry or on a good day, a big pile of clean laundry unfolded on top of and falling off of my dresser. Our toddlers can destroy the house from top to bottom in five short minutes. The dishes don’t ever get washed efficiently, and even if the kitchen floor gets swept, it’s dirty again after the next meal or snack.

Keeping up with so many little ones is a big job in and of itself, but then we’ll throw in all of the many meetings and court dates and appointments brought on by foster care life. It takes me from my regular homemaking duties and sometimes leaves me emotionally drained.

I am complaining about none of this. I will live in a filthy house with zero domestic accomplishments for the rest of my life if it means that I get to love on and live with all these children. But it is all worth mentioning to explain why I have come to the conclusion that, when talking about the beloved free-range chicken:

I don’t really care much anymore about what we eat. I’m just so happy to actually put any variety of food on the table every day (for my toddlers to smear on their head and drop onto the floor under their chairs).

Happy 2nd birthday to Keith!

So I bet you’re wondering:

Have I lost my actual mind? Do you even know who I am anymore? Do I still love butter? Have I started buying the high fructose corn syrup and the MSG and the hydrogenated oils?

Well, yes obviously about the butter. I still love it and always will. And no way about the HFCS and MSG. I’ve been at this real food, simple meals thing for long enough that much of this is an automatic no-brainer for me as I grocery shop. We still have a great source for grass-fed beef and raw milk, so I stick with this because I don’t have to do anything different or difficult.

But, well? If you open my freezers now, along with our lovely beef from the organic farm, you will also find bags of prepared french fries and several frozen pizzas. I haven’t made a homemade tortilla in years and I almost cried when I thought about trying to can any of the tomatoes from our weed-filled garden last summer.

The best I can truly is the best.

Did you know that? The best we can do really is best. :)

I’m doing the best I can to be sure we’re getting fruits and vegetables each day with whatever else we’re eating because I know we need the nourishment that fruits and veggies provide. What I also know is that food overall has taken a big back seat in my brain and heart, simply because it has to.

And it makes me wonder: Should it have been this way all along?

What if focusing on good health and perfect foods and ingredient labels keep us from freely fixing our eyes on Jesus? What if good health and good food is important, but only so that we are fueled with what we need so that we can serve as God asks us to each day?

I love all that I’ve learned about nutrition and good health. I love that I’ve been able to share what I’ve learned here and to learn from all of you too! This knowledge is carrying me through this season, and for that I am thankful. Real butter and vegetables are pretty great. But the more time I spend in the Word and with people, the more I recognize that Jesus is the bread of life and He is the one who brings real nourishment.

God’s call to love.

God calls all of us to love people. All people. Whatever that looks like in your life, whoever He has put in your path, on your porch, in your church, in your living room – He calls us to love, and He tells us that this is the most important. While there is glorious beauty in loving Him and His people in all the ways He calls us to love, there is also challenge and hardship. It takes time and energy – and I am becoming more and more convicted that this is time and energy that should be taken out of our kitchens and into the hurting world.

God doesn’t care if we make frozen pizza but He does care if we are resting in Him. He’s not concerned about what items in my fridge are organic. He cares about our hearts and He calls us to Him constantly to teach us to trust His ways as we walk this path with Him. He knows our weariness and our joys. He’s well aware of what each day holds and if my free-range chicken has turned into bags of dino nuggets? Well. When I serve them to my kids I sometimes actually cry tears of thanks for them because it means my family is fed and I still have the energy to smile at all these precious people at the end of the day.

So where do we land on the topic of eating healthy food?

I absolutely do still care about our health. I cook the most wholesome of food if and when I can, you can bet on it. Malachi (our only teen left at home) knows how to cook and is a huge help when he’s not working or at sports practice or play practice or youth group or…

I make smoothies daily and pack them with mixed greens so that we can “drink our salad” on the fly. I serve fruit with every meal and veggies with most. We aren’t giving up on good health; we’re simply focused on overall health now – emotional, spiritual, and yes, physical – but it begins and ends with a focus on love.

In summary:

God is bigger than ALLLLLL THE CHICKEN.

Struggling to find balance when it comes to healthy eating and healthy living in general? Ask God to show you what matters. He will show you. You may be at a point in your life where you have failing health and you NEED to focus on all things nourishing and good. You may be at a point where you need to get your emotional and spiritual life healthy and you need to find a Christian therapist to walk you through (best decision I’ve ever made and continue to make is to let my Christian therapist help me through challenges and spiritual cleansing and healing!). You may need both.

But we all need Jesus. And we all need to know that He is biggest. Bigger than any question we have about life and caring for our families.

Let Him direct you. This is not a cop-out (I’ll just eat whatever I want and let God take care of it please hand me another Snicker bar). This is a matter of choosing to surrender our hearts (God is bigger than anything I’m worried about or focused on this earth; I trust Him and will listen to Him).

Share with me.

What has God been teaching you about love? Who has He put on your path? How has He shown you ways to focus on what truly matters?

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Holidays? Moms Need Help in the Trenches

November 23, 2020 by Tasha Hackett Leave a Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Whatever time of year, I can attest to the fact that moms need help. But during the holidays, we may need help even more and in a different way. Enjoy this gem from Tasha…

Holidays? Moms Need Help in the Trenches

By Tasha Hackett

When moms need help desperately but don’t even know where to start…

Shucks, life is fun, amiright? Those cute baby snuggles, warm apple pie, bright orange leaves in piles, glittering snow, creamy hot-chocolate, sizzling butter and garlic… mmmm. But geez, Moms need help. I need help. We mothers of young people are overwhelmed. The close-knit communities aren’t there anymore. Everyone has their own life and responsibilities. Social media, though originally designed to bring us together, only makes us feel worse. With the holidays upon us, where can I even start to get help? 

“Happiness is a decision,” said the well-meaning, but unhelpful person.

I’m sure you’ve heard that before. Happiness is a decision. For the overwhelmed mom, that is as unhelpful as telling her, “Enjoy them! They grow up so fast.” (Read Laura’s post on what to say instead.) Truthfully, it’s not helpful to say either of those things to the mother who dreads going to sleep at night because she knows the baby is going to wake in 45 minutes and then cry for the next two hours before he sleeps for another 45 … and the mother who dreads the morning because the other three littles are going to want to eat and wear clothes and they’re going to chatter and need love and attention and they’ll play and make messes.

Perhaps that mom is dealing with a cloud of emotional strain and doesn’t even know what she needs because her brain is overwhelmed from the aforementioned sleep deprivation and she forgot to eat food again. (Would it fool anyone if I said these were hypothetical examples? I was there last year.)

To quote Rabbit and Winnie-the-Pooh, “How about Lunch?”

Don’t tell her happiness is a decision, what she needs is (Okay, yes, Jesus. She needs Jesus, but also,) sleep. She needs sleep and she needs food, and she needs to know that she is in a place that won’t last forever. Her people need to support her with prayers for peace from the Holy Spirit in order to fully embrace life at home with littles. What really helps her is an older mom to say, “It’s gonna be okay. And I’ll bring dinner over at 5:00 pm.” And when that is offered, she needs to accept it and say, “Thank you.” If all the real moms will please stand up and support each other, we’ll be okay.

Moms need help. Mmk? We may need lots of help for the Holidays. The sooner we can embrace that, the happier we will be. 

When my firstborn was a few months old, Ben and I had opposite shifts. I worked days, he worked evenings and weekends. Saturdays were LOOOOONG. I was 100% an extravert (still am), trapped at home for 12 hours with a tiny baby that didn’t sleep much and cried when left alone. The emotional strain to be EVERYTHING for this tiny human ate at my core and I was isolated, worn out, drained, and lonely. 

I was (am) an interesting person with a broad skill set and none of that mattered on a twelve-hour workday with an infant. What mattered was giving, and giving, and giving. Spit-up on my pants, milk stains on my shirts, the house falling apart, chores half-done… you know. Foremost priority was loving this child, but it was breaking me in two.

One evening I sucked up my pride and walked myself to the neighbors: “I need help. I feel like I’m falling to pieces. He cries unless I hold him, and I’ve hardly been able to eat and I could really use a shower. Would you be willing to keep him for half an hour?” She said she’d gladly hold him for as long I needed. I showered. Cried. I ate some food. Cried. I pulled myself together and went back to claim my baby. He was happy. The neighbors were happy. And that evening will stick with me forever as the first time I was brave enough to ask for help. 

What does this have to do with moms and help for the holidays?

This season is going to be different. Know your limits and go easy on yourself. Don’t try to make everything perfect. Ask for help. Take time to enjoy this season as best as you can. Have fun. 

As a mother, wife, and homemaker, why do we play the martyr when no one has asked it of us? I’ve been in hard places far too many times the past eight years where the service of my community has kept me from falling apart. 

I’m afraid to share this because you may be astounded, “Tasha sounds depressed! She has anxiety.” What if you read this and think, “I can’t relate to this at all. Tasha needs help…” Um… yes. That’s the whole thing here. I do need help, but listen up, I’ve talked with many other young moms and we are all in the same boat! Some more than others, of course, but the general consensus is that WE DON’T HAVE IT FIGURED OUT. The water is pouring in faster than we can bail it out. We are in desperate need of older women to come alongside and get into the trenches to show us the way out.

Calling all experienced mothers! Moms need help! 

In tears, five years ago I called an older friend, (her youngest was six, oldest in high school,). I was home with a baby and a chatty 3-year-old. I said, “I have to get out. Can you come? I just need 10 minutes.” She said, “I’ll be there in five.” 

No joke. I had my coat on, boots tied, and was pulling on my gloves when she pulled into my driveway. I left the house and took off running. Literally. I’m sure I was a sight. I made it three blocks before I slowed because January-in-Nebraska. Five degrees is too cold to be gulping air. 

I let the wind suck my breath away. Crying, I begged God to bring me peace. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t enjoy my two precious babies? 

Dear mothers of young children, you are not broken. 

Author Johann Hari says to those with depression/anxiety, “You are not broken, you’re not weak, you’re not crazy. You’re not a machine with broken parts, you are a human being whose needs are not being met.” Loneliness, loss of control of your environment, the inability to get outside, feeling your life has no purpose, not feeling valued, emotional needs that are not being met, grief (perhaps the grief of lost freedoms?) are all causes of depression and anxiety. (Watch his TED Talk here.) If you’d like to learn more about this, read Hari’s book Lost Connections. He is not a Christian, but his research is phenomenal and while reading his book, I was astounded at how many things correlated with the overwhelm that is common with stay-at-home moms. 

tasha

Help for the weary (even during the holidays)

God promises rest for the weary and my logical brain argues, “Yea, but… you gave me four kids.” He promises peace and I say, “Yea, but, somebody still has to make food and do dishes.” When he reprimands Martha and nods in approval at Mary sitting at his feet, I say, “Mmmk…. But, I have toddler boys who literally pee all over the toilet and the floor.” 

Laura keeps reminding us that Jesus takes over and it’s not her doing it, but him. What does that look like? I think it looks like being able to have fun, being at peace, even while wiping pee off the floor. 

For the older moms: 

Look around your community and find a young mother to adopt.

Pray for the young mothers by name and ask for peace.

For the younger moms: 

  • Know your limits.
  • Use simple meals when time and brain power is limited.
  • Ask for help.
  • Hire help if you can.
  • Set limits for yourself for what you can realistically accomplish.
  • Don’t be a martyr when no one is asking it of you.
  • Reach out to other young moms and get together regularly.
  • Go outside at least once a day.
  • Buy the High Five Recipes Printed Cookbook or Simple Real Food Recipes Cookbook for every adult (especially single adult brothers) on your Christmas list and consider your shopping done.
  • Stop praying for God to take away the trials, instead pray for peace.
  • Stop praying for patience, instead pray for peace.
  • Pray for peace.
  • Start a gratitude journal—it will be a blessing to look over it later.

Isaiah 40:11 “He gently leads those that have young.”

This is a revealing post. Rest assured, I am doing okay. Know why? Because I am continually asking for help. My heart aches for moms whose needs are not being met. I implore you to seek help. Help for moms can come in many different forms. For me, I’ve received it from doctors, counselors, parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, bible class teachers, elders, cousins, college roommates, my fitness coach, my husband, the librarian, and even my best friend from preschool.

Truly, you do not have to do this alone.


Tasha HackettTasha Hackett, friend of Laura, has four chatty children and a wonderfully supportive husband. It’s possible she was born in the wrong century, as she always dreamed of being friends with Laura Ingalls and Anne Shirley. Her debut novel, Bluebird on the Prairie, a historical romance set in 1879 Nebraska, will release Spring 2021. The clumsy antics of the hero, huge misunderstandings, and a humorous brother/sister relationship will keep you smiling, but you may need a tissue as the heroine works through grief. Thankfully, word on the street is the story has a happily ever after.

Heavenly Homemaker's Club Members: Access your homepage and all your fantastic resources here! Not a member yet? Please join us!

That One Time I Didn’t Die

October 11, 2020 by Tasha Hackett Leave a Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

You’ll love this edge-of-your-seat story by Tasha about that time she didn’t die. I never knew this had happened!! And be sure to read all the way to the end because there’s a lot in this that we need to remember as we walk this journey of life. :)

That one time I didn’t die

by Tasha Hackett

Hi! It’s Laura’s friend Tasha. I really want to tell you a story about how I accidentally almost died, but I didn’t die. Have you heard when I fell off a cliff? Literally. And when I say literally, I mean I literally fell off a cliff. Not figuratively.

Spoiler: I didn’t die.

The summer after my senior year, I attended camp, WCYC, for the last time as a camper. This final year, I was one of the privileged few, the proud, the fearless, who were honored to spend two class periods with the game-coordinators, assisting in preparations for the evening games. We were gifted matching white T-Shirts with permanent markered logos: SAAC (Special Activities Assistant Corps). As it turns out, this was code for filling water balloons. Not nearly as exciting as you were expecting. I know. Me neither. 

One particular morning, we had no water balloons to fill, so our leaders took us for a little treat. We went to The Rocks. These are fantastic outcroppings hidden in a dense Wisconsin forest. The tallest is roughly 35-40 feet high, one side is sheer cliff, while the other is tucked into a hill with an easy incline with trees and shrubs that suddenly ends—at the cliff. I had been to The Rocks before, and I usually spent my time hopping around the small ones, crawling through tight crevices between the larger few, or playing King of the Rock with other campers—nothing potentially fatal. That year, sadly, I was suffering from the Invincibility Fallacy. Please do not be overly concerned by this diagnosis. As I learned in my college psychology classes, this is a normal occurrence in adolescents.

The Invincibility Fallacy can be blamed for just about every stupid thing a young adult does.

To be frank, the Invincibility Fallacy is the reason people take unreasonable risks. This is why some teenagers free-climb thirty-five feet up the side of a sandstone cliff. In almost every human brain there is a voice whispering, “You are not making a wise decision. You need to rethink this. You could get in some real trouble here!” But while this is whispered, another voice comes along—a loud, friendly voice, a voice so powerful that the pesky Whisper of Caution is pounded to the dust. This second voice is the manifestation of the Invincibility Fallacy. 

If you’ve ever heard it, you know. You may be familiar with it. It’s the one that simply states: Yes, but it won’t happen to me!!

The honest truth is that sometimes it does happen to you, and those are the times you remember for the rest of your life. So let’s say you fall off the cliff. Do you learn your lesson? The Lesson? The don’t-ever-do-stupid-things-again-because-you-could-die lesson? Does the little Whisper of Caution dust himself off, pick his hat out of the gutter and grow strong enough to keep you out of trouble next time? Ehhhh…. Well, that’s not really the point of this story. So we’ll just skip over that and move on. 

Have you been snatched from the fire?

I ponder my existence here on earth because of the cliff event, and I now have a psychological fear of heights. Verdict: I will no longer ride roller coasters. And this aversion isn’t, “Oh, I don’t care for roller coasters. They make me nauseous.” No, no, child. For me it’s akin to Death. I rode Tower of Terror at Disney World the year after my cliff-falling incident. This is the ride that goes up and then drops you, and takes you up again, and drops …. up… drop… and up… Death. 

Hot News: Sleeping Beauty on Tower Doesn’t Wake

The instant the ride began to drop I felt this rush of, (wait for it…) terror that I had only ever felt once before in my life. The difference is the ride kept going. I didn’t happily blackout before slamming the ground like the first time I had this feeling. Screaming did not help. Tears filled my eyes, and I knew, I knew, that if this ride did not stop in the next three seconds, I would be dead when I got off. Rather, I wouldn’t get off, because I’d be dead. The eleven other passengers in the haunted hotel elevator ride would think I had fainted. Perhaps they’d snicker and comment, “Wow! She must have been really scared,” and perhaps, “How beautiful she is now she’s not screaming anymore.” My boyfriend, having the time of his life I might add, never noticing that his sweet and adorable girlfriend was about to seriously die, would never have become my husband. Geez Louise, the event would hit every major news outlet in America. Nay, the world! “TERROR KILLS WEAKLING ON TOWER” Weellll, good news for you. The ride must have stopped in the next three seconds, because I did not die.

So, back to pondering my existence and when I didn’t die…

I ponder this because I have a fall-off-the-cliff story. It isn’t being told by someone else. I fell off a cliff and I’m here to tell it. You’re probably wriggling in your chair with anticipation, “So tell us already!” Right? Okay, I’m getting there. … camp, the rocks, Invincibility Fallacy…

So I looked up the side of the cliff and thought to myself, “I could climb that.” So I did. I scaled at an astounding rate, racing myself to the top. Perhaps that cautionary whisper I ignored was at least urging me to get to the top as quickly as possible to escape the reprimand of the group leaders or fellow, wiser, campers. But I could almost see over the top, I was that close! At this point I was already self-congratulating myself. You know, basic things any average eighteen-year-old-sandstone-cliff-climbing-camper might think. Then it happened.

Sandstone is a tricky thing.

Sandstone can be found all over the world. It is formed by the compression of tiny grains of sand, held together by other common earth substances like silica, calcium carbonate, iron, etc. It’s basically earth smashed together. Sandstone has been used in the past for building materials, but was found not to be durable and needed more frequent repairs than other stone. Because of its composition and the way it’s formed, it has a habit of breaking apart. And this is what it decided to do while I was depending on it.

Coincidentally, I knew all about sandstone, but not Wisconsin sandstone. Growing up in Kentucky, we had tan, multi-colored, yellow-orangy sandstone that popped up into the yard every spring—like wild flowers. If you can imagine needing to harvest the flowers from the yard before mowing. Over winter, the ground froze and thawed, magically pushing rocks into our Kentucky yard in the middle of a forest. Having lived there for many years, I wasn’t aware of the trickiness of climbing sandstone. My little brain had not made the connection that fantastic gray cliffs made of sandstone would have the same qualities as the small rocks that appeared and broke from each other in my Kentucky yard. 

Even though I didn’t die, sandstone cliffs should not be scaled foolheartedly.

When the rock broke off in my right hand, I was reaching up with my other one. This left me flailing, grabbing the air around me, frantically reaching for anything and everything that might save me. Uh, hint: There was nothing. I was clearly falling.

Instinctively I kicked my feet in the air to keep myself upright. The last thing I needed was to land on my head! Early in childhood, I remember watching an old episode of Tarzan with Mom. I remember Mom’s soft and wavy brown hair that came past her shoulders. Tarzan was tan, and strong. I remember he was flying through the jungle, fleeing from something, when he came to the edge of a cliff he simply leaped without a second thought. As a young child, I remember thinking he looked so funny kicking his legs around in the air while he fell. Mom explained he did this to keep his head upright. He resembled a man walking in the air. He splashed harmlessly into the water at the base of the cliff and swam gracefully to safety, I’m sure. Maybe it was this old TV episode that saved my life, or maybe it was an inborn human life-saving technique, but I kept my head upright as I fell from that cliff. 

Flashes of my surroundings are ingrained into my memory from that fall.

The sun was bright as I frantically turned my head, searching for help—I tried to grasp the foliage of a skinny tree nearby, the leaves silhouetted against the bright white sky. My thoughts at the time were as follows: This isn’t really happening. This can’t really be happening. It’s not happening to me. It’s not really happening. I knew that it must not be happening, for if it was, I was dying. There was not going to be any surviving this. Reality hit me. Okay, it is. It is really happening to me.*Panic* *Panic * God save me. Those were my thoughts, and in that order. Intelligible words aren’t available to me to describe this, so I will not try at this point in my writing career.  

It’s not as easy as it looks. 

Did you know I wanted to grow up to be a novelist, a writer, perhaps a poet? I was twelve and three-quarters when I started my first novel. When I was simply twelve, I wanted to be a Marine Biologist. Then we went to the ocean. I was attacked thrice by the Jellyfish Infantry off the coast of Florida. I decided I’d rather not be a Marine Biologist after all.

Please understand I waited until the third attack on the same day before I surrendered my dream. And I really meant it; I did not plant a pinky into that ocean. Marine Biology was out, the next best was writing. I was already in the habit of journaling. I figured anyone could do it. Write, that is. So I began. I wrote frantically for two months, completing seven chapters of a fantasy novel starring Jessica and Tony who ran off into a field of daisies, thereby entering the world of fantasy. They met a kid named Jasper who told them about the prophecy concerning their arrival and henceforth set off on their quest. It would have been the next best seller, but alas, I never finished. Apparently twelve year olds get bored of things like writing novels. 

But poetry!

My mom decided we should read poetry aloud to each other once a week as part of some homeschooling activity. I jumped at this chance and asked to go first and I picked, The Raven by Poe. Remember, I was twelve. I knew Poe was famous and his poems were good or something… and this one sounded great and the Nevermore bit was cool. That’s all I knew. I read this poem in its entirety to my family and I will admit they sat quietly, but for some reason we did not continue this trend. I guess I was just that good. For the most part I stuck to reading novels and I left the writing about boys in my journal. 

When I am rich and famous, I will attempt to put words to the overwhelming emotion that can now only be described as *Panic.* The last thought I had before hitting the ground was, “God save me.” And he did, because I am here now at 9:30 pm sitting at my desk, in my home in Nebraska with my husband loading the dishwasher and my four children sleeping in their rooms. 

I do not remember hitting the ground, just the falling and then being on the ground with nothing but my consciousness. The world was black, I could feel nothing. It did not hurt, at first. All I knew is I could think, therefore I was… but I could not breathe. I’ll have you know, when air rushes into the lungs after the muscles around the chest cavity force it out, it wants to come back in, but when all of the air has been dramatically smashed out of your chest, it is extremely difficult to get air back into them. 

No pain, movement, or light.

I knew I was dead, and I, whatever was left of me, was just stuck somewhere dark, and scary… because of the dark and the nothing. This was my world. Then I realized I could feel my chest and I could move it and the air came back and I began to breathe. This made me very happy when I rationalized I was not dead! I had broken my neck! 

A few seconds went by and I could feel everything, and everything hurt. Recalculating, I decided I had not broken my neck, but only every other bone in my body. Soon I opened my eyes and saw the face of my friend John. He was talking to me, and whatever it was made me feel better. He was calm. But his face was scared. A face of true fear like I had never seen before. 

John was scared because he had just seen me topple like a tower of Jenga blocks. I found out later that it took him at least half a minute to climb around to the base of the cliff where I had landed and that I was still unconscious when he arrived. A fellow camper watched me fall from the top of the cliff (he had walked safely up the hill on the other side), and screamed to everyone, “She’s dead!” #fakenews #notdead #ididn’tdie

Yeah, no. I didn’t die.

As the story goes, I landed on my feet, crumpled and rolled before settling on my side like a rag doll tossed out of the crib—one leg curled haphazardly to the side and an arm crushed awkwardly under my back. But when I woke up enough to take note of my surroundings, it was just like the movies. A ring of faces stared down at me.

Aaaaaaand… turns out I was cool. I sat up. Stayed like that for a minute and then walked to the van. Yes, I hurt all over. I had scratches on my face and arms where I demolished an old blackberry bush. My chin sported a bruise where I had pounded it against my sternum. Not even sure how that’s possible. My ankle was sore where I scratched it on a rock. But the camp nurse went all crazy pants on me when I walked into her office and told her that I didn’t feel so good. She called 911 and they strapped me to a board and, listen to this fun fact, rolled my gurney over a gravel parking lot to the ambulance. $7000 of X-Rays and two CT scans later, I was sent home with the diagnosis of Whiplash. 

In Conclusion about how I didn’t die:

Just in case any of this is lost on you, let me highlight a few neat facts: I fell 35 feet and didn’t die. I did not land on the pile of rocks to my left, nor the woodpile. My skull didn’t hit the ground first and crack open. I did not break a bone. For some crazy reason I was given a pass at life again.

What about this exciting idea: What if you have no idea how many times your life has been spared? By some miracle of God, people are saved from disaster on earth every day, but what about all the times you don’t see him working for you? Can we give him credit for that too? If you think about how many cars don’t wreck, how many planes don’t crash, how many roller coasters don’t malfunction, it’s phenomenal! You were deliberately formed in your mother’s womb. On purpose. Created, designed, and planned. 

You’re supposed to be here. 

Four weeks after my cliff incident, I drove myself to college and I went for a ride on the back of a strange kid’s motorcycle; he kissed me two months later and married me two years after that. We’ve been pregnant five times and have four living children. 

I get it, not everyone has a fall-off-a-cliff-survival story. But even if you don’t, I can tell you: Your life is not by chance.


homeschool momTasha Hackett is a friend of Laura and pretends to be a ballerina in the small space between the sink and stove. Sometimes she writes 3000 word essays when a 600 snippet with a recipe for stir-and-pour-bread will do. Her debut novel is currently being evaluated by a publisher. Even though the story lacks a fantasy world of daisies, she has high hopes it will bring a smile to you anyway. 

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How to Start Reading Your Bible Regularly

September 6, 2020 by Laura Leave a Comment

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Ever since I shared about how my daily time in God’s Word and in prayer has been so life changing, people have asked: Can you share how you started reading your Bible regularly?

If you haven’t yet, please read this. It’s important for people to know about, I think. How the old me was such a go-getter and how I relied on my own strength more than God’s (because I thought that being a good Christian meant that I needed to do all the right things – like I needed to somehow save myself instead of relying on the One who already saved me). How I used to be anxious and worried constantly. How I have been a Christian for my entire life but didn’t really start craving God’s Word and true fellowship with Him until just a few years ago.

How now I have found myself at a point in my life that is busier than ever before – and because of that, I realize that I MUST find time to sit in the quiet with God in prayer. I am not ok without this time with Him.

Please do read this —>

In short, I’m too busy not to find time to spend with God each day. I’m too challenged to try to do life on my own strength. And I’m too filled with joy over what God offers to hold back on seeking more and more through His perfect Truth.

His Word is Life

Now let’s talk about how to regularly start spending time in the Word and in prayer – even if it’s not something you crave (yet). Especially if it’s not something you don’t think you have time for.

Nobody “has time.” That’s why we have to do this. We are so busy that we HAVE to do this. We can’t do this busy life without God. And we can’t be at peace if we’re trying to do any of it without His constant guidance from Scripture and from communication with Him through the Spirit.

How to Start Reading Your Bible Regularly

1. Decide that you want this.

Deep down, I think we all really do want this. But we have to decide that we want it enough to actually do it. Eventually, time in the Word and in constant communion with God is something we will all desire so much that we can’t get through a day without it.

But until then, make the decision to want it. Make the decision today. Not at the first of the year as some kind of “I’m gonna do better” resolution. Not after you finish that big thing you’re doing so that you’ll finally have more time available. Decide today that today is the day you will be intentional about reading the Word and talking to God intimately.

2. Pray about a time and space in your day that you can make this happen.

God wants this for you. So no matter what season in life you are in and how many tasks fill your day, He will provide time for you to spend in focused conversation with Him. Mornings work best for me, but if that doesn’t work for you, find what does.

At this point, our littlest guys sleep through the night. So if I can get to bed at a decent time at night, I can get up at least an hour before they get up in the mornings so that I can spend that entire time in prayer, reading the Word, and journaling what God is teaching me and telling me.

The time of day that God works out for YOU doesn’t matter – what matters is that you do make time in your day. God will do this for you. Choose to do this with Him.

3. Know that sometimes it’s uncomfortable.

Other tasks and to-dos are going to tug at you. Saying yes to this means saying no to something else.

This is worth noting: Most mornings I roll right out of bed. But sometimes, if I’ve gotten to bed late the night before or if I didn’t sleep well for some reason, I have a hard time waking up early enough to head to my Bible-reading chair. But if I feel like I can (as in, if I know that I got a healthy amount of sleep in order to avoid sickness and exhaustion) I push myself out of bed anyway because friends, I NEED THIS. I know that if I don’t have this time with God in the morning, I’m missing the most important piece of my day that brings the calm and peace and Truth that keeps me going each day.

What I’m saying is, sometimes you won’t feel like making this happen. Do it anyway, as if your life depends on it. Because truth: your life depends on it.

4. Discover what you need to read and go for it!

Pray for God’s perfect guidance and direction for you in this. If you’re reading your Bible, you can’t go wrong no matter what you read and where you start. Just read. And read for relationship more than knowledge. You’ll gain knowledge, no doubt. But I’ve found that if my focus in reading is to hear directly from God and to get to know Him better, this changes how I read and understand scripture.

When I finally quit reading to prove a point and instead started reading to get to know my Savior – this changed my spiritual life completely. THAT’S WHEN I STARTED LOVING THE WORD!!

If you truly aren’t sure where to start, here are my first suggestions:

  • Read the book of John to get to know Jesus and how He loved people.
  • Read the book of Luke to get to know Jesus and how He served people.

Those two books, read through fresh eyes and a fresh heart, changed me. I got to know Jesus in a beautiful way while digging into those books. I was introduced more fully to the Holy Spirit – life-changing! And then, my journey through other parts of the Bible have been richer because I’ve been more able to see how the entire Bible and God’s plan came together to bring us our Savior!

5. Ask for fresh eyes and a fresh heart.

Since I just mentioned this above, let me encourage you to also ask God for this. I didn’t know it was possible to read words I’d read so many times and to understand them so differently than I had before!

See, I was raised in a Christian home (praise God) and had been taught a lot of scripture. But because of this, I struggled to read many passages without “already knowing what they meant.” I found myself wishing that I had never read the Bible before so that I could just read it and come to understand it for myself instead of through the lens of teaching I’d received. The teaching wasn’t bad, I just wanted to read it like it was brand new!

I had no idea it was even possible, but I did pray and ask God to help me read His word with a brand new set of lenses. Well, of COURSE it’s possible. God wanted that for me too!

So if you want this too – ask God for it. He’ll help you read His word as if you’ve never read it before and it will come to LIFE for you. It will become your life!

6. Be open to what you will learn.

If you’re truly ready to dig in, you will discover a Power at work that is mightier than anything you can imagine. You will find a God who loves you more than you realize, a Jesus who saved you before you knew you need it, and a Spirit who guides you and longs to be your everything in every way through every day.

In short, be ready for amazing things to happen in your life because THIS IS THE GOD YOU’RE GOING TO GET TO KNOW!

7. So be ready for battle.

The enemy liked you better before you started digging into the Word more fully. He’d rather you stay where you are, not growing, not learning, not meeting Jesus like this every day.

So be aware that he’s going to try to fill you with lies, discouragement, and pretty much do everything he can to keep you stagnant in your faith. Nope. Not today. Not ever. Jesus wins. Jesus already won. We are in Him and He is in us. We have nothing to fear. We choose God’s way!

Arm yourself: Read and pray Ephesians 6:10-20 and Psalm 91 over yourself, your family, and your home. Focus on the Truth that we live under God’s powerful protection and that all He offers is mighty over the enemy! Stand up. Stand firm.

8. Take note of what you’re learning. Literally.

I realize that not everyone loves to journal. But I find myself being filled with such incredible Truth that it really helps me to write down what I’m learning and what God is telling me. Otherwise, I may forget or not listen to Him in a focused way. Also, I love to look back and re-read Truths that I’ve learned that He wants me to walk in and live by.

So I keep a journal with my Bible and I write what I’m learning. Some days I write two words. Some days I write two pages. Always I write the scripture references that God led me to for the day so that I can look back if I need to.

There’s not just one way to use a journal. But I do feel that it’s effective to have and use them in any way God helps you to use them.

9. Enjoy falling in love with God all over again. Every day.

Spending time in the Word, talking to Him directly, sitting in the quiet to listen to His direction – I am so very thankful God has made me want this. This time with Him each day fills me and has walked me through some incredible challenges the past few years as God has brought so many wonderful changes in our lives. I NEED JESUS. Constantly.

10. Focus on the Bible. Relationship is the goal.

Devotional books and Bible study books can be great, for sure. But nothing beats reading directly from God’s word. Nothing. Remember, this is about relationship. Growing in our love for the Lord and for others. The Bible is everything. Prayer is everything. The Holy Spirit’s guidance is everything.

Share with us!

What works for you? How is God at work in you to grow His relationship with you?

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When God’s People Dig In

September 2, 2020 by Laura Leave a Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

It’s time for God’s people to dig in. The real way. Like we mean it. After all, His plans are so much bigger and better!

When God’s People Dig in

Every year I have high hopes for myself. And every year I struggle to keep my flowers alive. The silly things expect to actually be watered regularly. Can you say high maintenance?

Meanwhile, our basketball hoop fell down during a storm a couple of weeks ago and the babies have enjoyed using it as a jungle gym. This is fine except for when one of them runs toward the street while the other tries to get himself stuck inside the net of the hoop.
All that to say, sorry flowers. I’m busy keeping a bunch of kids alive so sometimes I forget about you.
This is why we can’t get a dog.
Well anyway. I share this cute little tidbit about my life to remind you of this truth:
You can’t do it all. I can’t do it all. But we don’t need to do it all because we serve a Savior who already did it all. He continues to do it all and He works His power in and through us when we surrender ourselves and let Him do His work!
Embracing this Truth has changed everything about my days, how I feel about myself as a mom, wife, homemaker, friend, neighbor, and servant.
You all encourage me so much! After sharing this post on a few weeks ago, I’ve been so challenged to dig in more and learn more about what God wants to teach me. Your email responses have inspired me, and as I sit in the quiet with Him each morning, I’ve been reflecting more on this:
If all of us – ALL OF US – dig into the Word and fully seek Him daily, what might be the result of this for His Kingdom?? 
It blows my mind to try to imagine what I cannot possibly fathom. Our God is limitless, and together, we can be a part of something incredible.
Please, please do this with me. It truly is life-changing.
Feeding our families good food is important. Taking care of our homes is important. Working hard is important.
But nothing is as important as leaning into what God has for us.
Our great efforts fall terribly short when we aren’t letting the Spirit be our guide and resting fully in His presence, walking humbly with Him, loving Him with our whole hearts.

Start preparing your heart now to dig in.

It’s time for us all to move out of our comfort zones and into the place that God has planned for us all along.
I’m preparing a post to share next: How to Spend Time in the Word Regularly. 
If this is a struggle for you, get ready. If prayer is hit and miss in your life, get ready. If you need encouragement, don’t know where to start, feel like you’re floundering in your relationship with God, get ready.
I’m prayerfully excited to share more about how God has helped me dig into His Word and LOVE IT. God will help you love it too. God will change your life. Get ready!
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Fearful of school? This can help.

August 12, 2020 by Tasha Hackett Leave a Comment

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Fearful of school? Here’s what worked for Tasha, and it’s beautiful advice!

Fearful of school? This can help.

by Tasha Hackett

Pushing Back Fear

I’ve found many helpful things to push back fear. Practical, tangible, concrete ways to stay grounded are so helpful for me. Fear can keep us from doing anything and everything. Niggling doubts and insecurities have a way of sucking the joy out of what could have been an amazing adventure. When we’re faced with making a decision the fear of picking the wrong one can keep us from picking at all until we’re out of time and are stuck to simply go with the default or what may appear to be the easiest.

Write Down Specific Fears

When I was overwhelmed with making the decision to homeschool my oldest I did not know if I was doing the right thing. I would make a decision in my mind and immediately question my choice, therefore I would flip the other way. A pros and cons list never helps me. Maybe because I’m a wordplayer and can manipulate anything to sound the way I want it to. What I finally ended up doing changed everything. 

 

baby announcement

How was I ever going to do this with another baby on the way?

I started writing down every doubt and fear and question I had about homeschooling. In my heart it’s what I knew I wanted to do–I just didn’t want to do it. Essentially, it became a page of fear questions. And it looked something like this:

What if he misses his friends? Will I lose my temper too often and yell at him? I’m going to be too tired when the new baby is born? Wouldn’t it be better for him to be in school when there’s a newborn at home? What if his siblings are jealous of the extra attention he demands? Can I teach him everything he needs to know? What if the school thinks I’m weird because Ben is still teaching there? Is it weird for a family who works at a school to homeschool their own kids? Isn’t that sort of hypocritical? What if I never have time to pursue my own interests again? What if my family doesn’t support me? Is Ben be willing to pick up the slack around the house? What if I completely botch the whole thing and have to send him back to school next year and he’s behind? 

After the Fears Came the Truths

homeschool siblings

When my fears filled most of a page I started a clean one to answer all my questions. This became my page of truths. And it looked something like this:

We can schedule meet-ups with his school friends and will make more friends through the homeschool group. I will probably lose my temper some, but this is a personal problem that needs to be addressed whether or not I’m homeschooling. I will be tired with the new baby, but how wonderful for him to get to experience his baby brother. Loving and caring for a newborn is more important than anything I could teach him through books. I will have fun toys and games to play with the little ones while he does his school. Kids are only here for a few short years, there will be plenty of time to pursue my interests, also I can involve them in my life, that’s part of the joy of homeschooling. My family does support me. Ben is always helpful when I ask him to help with chores around the house. I’m not going to botch the whole thing, and if something happens and I have to put him back in school, that would be embarrassing, but nothing that I couldn’t move on from. 

Through the next week, I added more fears and more truths. Eventually, I was able to pinpoint a few main things I was most worried about and a beautiful thing happened: I was able to practically set aside the emotion connected with all those would-be fears and look at the situation logically. When I took away the strong emotion connected with it, it was a simple decision. If I wasn’t afraid, I wanted to bring him home. And that’s what I did. I didn’t pull him out or even start homeschooling. What I did was bring him home and it was the absolute best thing. 

I Started With Nothing

homeschool siblings

I had no curriculum or lesson plans, or year overview. I simply asked him, “What would you like to learn about?” And he said, “crocodiles.” We checked out every book the library had about crocodiles which launched our two-month study on crocodiles and learned loads of new vocabulary, geography, science, math, some paleontology, and archeology. Because we drew pictures of them, saw them at the zoo, and watched videos about them, they came to life in so many ways. Did you know a healthy crocodile can live up to two years without eating? Do you know what an osteoderm is? Did you know crocodiles communicate with each other over distances by the distinct way they splash their torso in the water? Did you know mama crocodiles will sometimes take turns watching the babies? Our studies naturally led to Ancient Egypt and we studied the culture and geography of Egypt, and how and why they built the pyramids. I learned SO MUCH with him during those first few months of school and the younger siblings were there for all of it.

lego pyramid

Their toys took on new roles after studying the Egyptians

Interestingly, we almost never used a table or desk because we were reading books on the couch or building things on the ground. The second semester I bought a full curriculum and as valuable as it was, I missed those early months of school with him.

block pyramids

This pyramid building project lasted for days.

I Know You’ve Made a Difficult Decision

If you have kids at home, you have made decisions regarding their school. I don’t want to talk you into homeschooling. By this time, you’ve decided where your kids will be going this fall. But I don’t want you to enter into homeschooling with fear–or send your kids to school in fear. Whatever you have settled on for this school year, I want you to be at peace! You know what’s best for you, for them, and for your family! You’ve looked through the options, you weighed the merits of each side, and you’ve made, or will soon make a decision. And then in three months, everything might flip over on its head and you are allowed to change your mind! 

Signing up for school

How parents feel signing their kids up for school Fall 2020

You are not Ariel! As funny as that picture is, it’s just not true! Yes, you want to be consistent, but if the finality of the decision is bothering you, realize you have not signed your soul to the follow-through of either one. (But I would suggest not telling that to your kids, as they may not put their best foot forward.)

Fear Did Not Influence My Decision to Homeschool

When I brought my oldest home from first grade, it was not an easy decision. There were family reasons that influenced my choice to bring him home, not a pandemic, but I still agonized over it. I was full of doubt for many months leading up to it. baby holding

Fear is real, and too much is not healthy. The scriptures are loaded with encouraging passages reminding us to “fear not” and that “perfect love drives out fear” and to “cast your anxiety,” etc. God really wants us to live at peace in him and let him guide us. But practically, what does that mean? What does that look like from day to day? How can we lean on him and simply fear not? Are we not still responsible for evaluating the options and making an educated decision and when both options have their pros and cons and neither answer is perfect and we have friends on both ends who are perfectly happy and what if we screw it all up and pick the wrong one and ruin everyone’s life forever!? You get me? I know I am not alone in this struggle with anxiety and fear and trying to hold everything together. The best answer I can give you to push back fear is to actively push back the fear… make sense? 

Be in the Scriptures

Wait, come back! Okay, Jesus is the answer to everything, right? I almost didn’t add this Jesus paragraph because I don’t want to suggest some cliché solution or to make it one-stop in a lineup of others. God isn’t the priority that you can check off and then move on to the next thing, rather he’s the center that permeates out into everything. Considering this, please understand that though the above suggestions are concrete solutions, tangible, they are done with a calm mind and the comfort of knowing God’s love is greater and bigger than anything this physical world can throw at you. Being daily in the scriptures and finding ways to connect with the Holy Spirit through study and worship will calm your mind in more ways than you or I will ever know.

Remember You’re Not Alone

Be sure to check out the abundance of resources Laura has already provided here. You don’t have to reinvent anything! I’ve written about Beautiful Feet Books curriculum, and a step by step guide to start homeschooling. Laura has shared about how she makes the start of school special each year, and how this year is going to look different. And we have a whole section of homeschool resources included in your membership!

What is helping you launch this school year? How have you handled the doubts surrounding this year?

May your school year be blessed with peace and joy and lots and lots of smiles. 

Tasha


homeschool momTasha Hackett is a friend of Laura who likes to encourage mamas and write about money and school and Christmas. When she’s not forgetting to water her pot of flowers or pick the zucchini she can be found reading books to her four children, launching new business ideas with her public-school-teaching husband or serving a dry crust of bread to her family. Laura is still here and @heavenlyhomemaker, she just let’s Tasha play on the blog a couple times a month. For more homeschool shenanigans you can find Tasha personally on her Instagram account @HackettAcademy. 

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How Do I Start a Homeschool?

July 26, 2020 by Tasha Hackett 2 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

So you think you can start a homeschool? Enjoy this article from Tasha!

How to Start a Homeschool

By Tasha Hackett

Going back to school looks different this year. In light of everything going on in the world, many are choosing to homeschool. You may be sick of hearing about it! What are schools going to do with the COVID situation? Do we homeschool because we want more protection in the school or because we want everything to go back to normal? Even parents who never wanted to homeschool their kids, ever, are looking into homeschool. If you’re a seasoned homeschooling family, go ahead and forward this article to someone needing encouragement. 

Where Do I Begin for Homeschool?

So let’s say, hypothetically, that you wanted to homeschool your kids this year. You may be asking, “How do I even start? Where should I begin? What do I do first?” 

There are amazing resources everywhere and I know it can be overwhelming. I’ll break down the essentials of homeschooling for you in a few simple steps. 

Legal Steps to Take Before You Start a Homeschool

First, make sure you’re going about it legally. You are not allowed to simply buy a few books and tell your friends you’re homeschooling. Your kid will be just fine, but the government frowns upon that and you could get into trouble. (Most likely your local school will call you and find out what’s going on, and then they will tell you to do what you should have done and say, “Tisk Tisk.” But let’s avoid that.)

Go to hslda.org/legal (Home School Legal Defense Association) and find out what specific laws are required in your state. Some states require yearly testing, others just want a signature. For Nebraska, we signed a form, named our school, and filled out another form with our local school–including putting birth certificates on file. You can have fun with this and name it something creative and inspiring like, “Sunshine Unicorn Lollipop and Rainbows Happy Homeschool” or “Hackett Academy” or you can move right along and be amazingly simple: “Coppinger Homeschool.” This is not a game-changer and the government doesn’t care. 

Promise me you will not freak out when the form asks you complicated questions and use fancy words like “the scope and sequence” of your curriculum (don’t make this answer complicated) and ask you to “provide instruction in language arts, mathematics, science, social studies, and health.” I’m telling you not to be threatened by this type of chatter.

What they want to know is simple: Are you going to teach your kids and take them outside and go for walks and let them know what’s going on in the world? Yes? Good. Next. Play around on the HSLDA website, there are lots of goodies there that are helpful for beginners. Just don’t get lost in the weeds. 

So we’ve covered the legal aspect of homeschooling, now what? 

Now the real Homeschool fun begins: Curriculum!

This is where every family has their own opinion and some will fight to the death for Saxon Math and A Beka Language Arts. We love the curriculum book packs from Beautiful Feet Books and Sonlight. But we also use a hodgepodge of other resources. For Preschool/Kindergarten, Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve is a golden standard.

For peace of mind, you can purchase an all-inclusive curriculum pack from a huge variety of Homeschool publishers. This is a great option if you are nervous and want to make sure you have everything covered. But seasoned homeschoolers may tell you this is unnecessary. 

Essentially: Pick something and run with it and then be flexible. You’re allowed to change your mind if you hate it. But you might love it. 

Homeschooling a Kindergartener 

Just have fun! This is the year they should learn to love learning and love school. This isn’t the time to bog them down with busy-work (unless they really love worksheets, and some children do.) I would not recommend an expensive math curriculum for Kindergarten or 1st grade. Kindergarten math means counting and shapes and patterns, learning the days of the week and months of the year. Kids do not have to learn how to read in Kindergarten unless they are inclined to. 

homeschool activities

Laura Ingalls paper dolls.

Multiple studies have proven that accelerated learning in the early years (before seven) DOES NOT increase reading ability, grades, or advanced placement in the later years, and can in fact have the opposite result. (Read any of the homeschooling books by Dr. Raymond Moore for more information on this.)

Legal boxes checked and homeschool books picked out, now what?

You will have to decide what works best for your own homeschool. No one is an expert in your kids the way you are. My habit is to set aside time each morning for school, Laura does much of hers in the afternoon. 

Protect your mornings (or whatever time you have set aside for school). Set aside certain hours for school work and protect that time. Don’t answer the phone, don’t play on social media. Turn off the TV. Don’t schedule dentist appointments or random park dates or lessons during your school hours, within reason. (Remember how we’re still being firm… but flexible?)

Make a plan and be consistent, but relax if things need to change. If mama is stressed, everybody is stressed. Protecting your mornings doesn’t mean you must be a rigid taskmaster. 

homeschool schedule

A Sample Homeschool Schedule to Start With

Our homeschool day will look something like this but yours may be entirely different: 

6:00 AM Mom awake and prepare for the day. 

7:00 AM Kids wake up. (We have a rule they may not come out of their rooms until 7 AM)

7-8:00 AM Dad off to work. Breakfast for all. Daily chores and general clean up.

8-9:00 AM Morning Time (We start our homeschool day all together, with the baby on my lap and the others sitting on the couch with me. Memory work, poetry, singing, check calendar to what’s happening the rest of the week.)

9-11:00 AM Other book subjects. Language, Math, Reading, (Baby will have a morning quiet time in crib from 9-10, toddler will play. Small snack at 10.) 

11 – 1:00 PM Free play for kids. Lunch. More play and chores if needed. 

1-3:00 PM Quiet Time. (May play quietly alone. Read, write, draw, etc. This is life for a family with littles home together all day.) 

3 – 5:00 PM Snack and then outside play. 

5 – 7:00 PM Dinner and Chores.

7-8:00 PM Bedtime routine with Dad

8 – 10:00 PM Mom and Dad hang out.

You Can Start a Homeschool! You Got This! 

book activities

When I first started, even though I was homeschooled as a kid, I felt lost trying to figure it all out as a parent. But really, you’ll be okay! Fill out the legal forms, choose a few basic books/curriculum, and arrange a generic daily schedule. Boom. Done. 

You’re Not Alone

We have many resources available right here on this site. You’d be surprised how much support there is for homeschooling once you start looking! If you’re feeling lost and afraid, remember that there are thousands of others faced with making the same decision you are. Chin up!

Be sure to share this article for all your friends who are struggling with this same decision; a basic step-by-step plan is a great way to calm your nerves.

Subscribe for more homeschool, homemaking, and simple meals encouragement.

Blessings on your new homeschooling adventure!


homeschool momTasha Hackett, friend of Laura, is a second generation homeschool mom x4 living in the heart of Nebraska. She spends her free time, (haha, she has no free time), reading and writing Christian Romance novels, and DIYing anything that needs done. She’s a huge promoter of being debt free. Laura is still here! Tasha is only a contributing author a few times a month. You can find Tasha @hackettacademy and on Laura’s IG account @heavenlyhomemaker. 

 

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Old Laura. New Laura. And the One thing that’s made the biggest difference.

June 22, 2020 by Laura 17 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Have a seat with me for a few minutes. It’s time for me to really share what has made the biggest difference in my life to help me learn how to let go of stress, anxiety, depression, and fear.

There’s Old Laura and there’s New Laura and I’m quite certain that there’s sure to be a Newer Laura every day in the future because God continues to teach me and refine me. Growth and healing never stop as long as we’re seeking Him.

Old Laura

First I’ll talk about Old Laura (in third person, apparently). She sure was a go-getter. She’d start tackling her to-do list as soon as her feet hit the floor and wow could she get a lot done each day! Between homeschooling four sons and writing a blog and making all of her food from scratch and keeping up with marriage, housework, and the ministries she was involved in, she could tackle a huge to-do list every day. Boom. Way to go, Old Laura.

Except for, yikes. Old Laura was nervous all the time. Anxious. Worried. Fearful. Tense. What if she wasn’t doing enough? What if all she was doing wasn’t being done well enough? What if she let someone down? What if her children didn’t turn out perfectly? What if all of her efforts didn’t turn out perfectly?

So she worked even harder. Year after year, she tried and she strove and she dug in her heels with determination. Through all of her many tasks she would pray! “God, help me to do all of this. I need your help!”

God was listening.

He listened with love and He knew what she needed. So He began to lead her down a new path; one that required deep inner healing and cleansing to show her that her life wasn’t about getting it all done. No. It was about surrendering to the One who had already done what was most important.

What Made the Biggest Difference

Old Laura slowly started to learn a new way. She still had four boys to homeschool. She still had food to cook. She still had a blog and a husband and ministries and laundry and housework. But she learned a new way to do it, and the Truth was surprising.

Old Laura started to recognize in a brand new way how much she needed her Savior. She learned that tackling her long to-do list successfully wasn’t really what made her successful. That at the end of the day, nothing really mattered except for love. And that love conquers all – even the laundry piles.

As God helped Old Laura heal from her chronic sin of people-pleasing and hurtful tendencies to worry and over-think, He helped her learn that the only way to truly get through a day successfully was to begin with prayer and time in the Word. Not the “Good morning God, help me get through this day!” kind of desperate prayer spoken on the fly while heading into the kitchen to make a perfectly nourishing breakfast. But the calm and peaceful prayer breathed in and out while sitting humbly in the quiet.

New Laura

Old Laura died and she started to become New Laura because God completely changed her focus. God taught her that true peace, true calm, and true love only come from surrendering self and seeking Truth. And His Truth could only fill her mind and heart when she spent real time with her Savior – daily.

Time with God could happen while washing dishes and folding clothes and scrubbing toilets. It did happen while in the car on the way to soccer practice with the boys and while reading novels out loud during school time.

But true calm and peace weren’t achieved without first spending as much quiet, alone time as possible each day talking to God and listening for his voice of direction and Truth.

Laura learned that nothing on the to-do list was as important as spending time with God – in His Word and in prayer. Without it, Laura learned that she was not okay.

But the to-do list!

The to-do list remained long, and in fact, it became longer!

God added foster children and adopted children to the family, and with them came caseworker visits, extra phone calls, court dates, appointments, the extra needs of traumatized children, and ultimately, the necessity to learn to juggle all of life while caring for kids from baby to elementary to high school to adult.

More to do = More time with Jesus

As the needs around her grew bigger, and as the to-do list became longer, she discovered that she needed even more time in the Word. Life’s needs were too intense and challenging to even attempt to tackle on her own. Nothing on the to-do list was as important as hearing from God – His voice of Truth in the middle of many storms and trials.

But how is this even possible?

Doesn’t more on the to-do list take even more time than before? Yes, one would think. But New Laura continued to learn about dying to self, seeking His Truth instead of worldly wisdom, and listening for the Spirit’s direction.

And that is how New Laura gets everything completed on her to-do list each day. You see, the to-do list is no longer penned by a person. The to-do list is detailed and directed by the Holy Spirit.

If He doesn’t need it to be done, it doesn’t make the list. And if it’s not on the list, it doesn’t cause anxiety, because well, it didn’t make the list.

The family still eats three times a day. The necessary chores still get done. The dishes get washed. The laundry gets folded. The needs get met.

But New Laura is learning that she is not the one who meets the needs. God meets the needs. And now, in place of fear and worry, there is peace – the kind that can only come from the Spirit who fills a heart and overflows into the home.

New Laura continues to be Renewed Laura. There is no “arriving” on this earth as there is always a need to surrender self and let God refine and heal and stretch and grow.

Oh hi. (New) Laura here.

Thanks for listening. This is getting pretty long, and shucks, I’m not even done yet. :)

I’m sharing all of this because I think it’s important for you to hear that I’ve realized that I am an absolute mess when I don’t spend focused time with God every day. I used to live life doing good and being good and it all seemed good – except for the fact that my heart and mind were always in turmoil as I was striving to BE ALL THE THINGS and DO ALL THE THINGS and HOPE EVERYONE WAS PLEASED WITH IT ALL.

This was not okay. I was not okay.

I realized that I actually need Jesus.

I knew this, but I didn’t really know it, you know?

I never used to really crave time in the Word. I’m not sure why. Because I was too busy?? (Shake my head.) Because I already knew a lot about the Bible? (Yeah, right.) Because I was intimidated by all I didn’t know or understand about the Bible? (Well, there’s that.) The reasons I didn’t make time for it are many.

God changed all of that a few years ago when I found myself in a deep, dark pit. I found that I had to go all-in with Him if I wanted to find healing and Truth to live by. Through that, I discovered that time in the Word, time in surrendered prayer, and time listening to Him are life-changing and life-giving.

So now, because I’ve learned now that I must, and because now I actually crave it, I spend as much time as possible in the quiet, before the family wakes up each morning, drinking coffee, and talking and listening to God. I soak in the Word as nourishment because I’ve found that I truly am not okay otherwise. Without it, my flesh easily takes over and I slip back into worried-mom mode. Shoot, even with it I struggle if I don’t use scripture Truth I’ve learned to fight the lies that the enemy wants me to believe. He’s crafty and he knows my weak places. I must spend time in the Word and in prayer each morning or I truly struggle emotionally and spiritually.

And after I read and talk to God for as long as He allows each morning, I journal. Sometimes just a few words, or sometimes several pages. I do this because I want to write down what He is teaching me and the scriptures He’s bringing to life. Writing it solidifies it, and for me, this brings healing.

So what about you?

One of the biggest reasons I’m sharing all of this with you because I kind of want to beg you to do this. Maybe you already are. If so, I’m so glad. It is life-giving.

If spending time in the Word each day and in prayer is a struggle for you, I understand too well. Old Laura didn’t even really want this because well, she was too busy and focused on doing good things for her family, you know? But I was missing the peace and joy that came from loving my family God’s way.

No matter where you and I  are on our journey with Jesus, we can all continue to learn more about listening and walking with Him in humility and fullness of His freedom! So do this. Make yourself do it at first if that’s what it takes. Eventually, you will crave it and find that you can’t live your days without it. :)

If you have babies or crazy work schedules and the logistics don’t allow for quiet time in the morning or ANY time – I want you to know that I understand that too.

But I also want you to know that God wants heart-to-heart time with you. Therefore He will provide it in some way! I know this from experience. :)

Daily time in the Word truly has made the biggest difference.

Dig into the Word and learn more about who He is and what He has to offer!

When we surrender ourselves and let God truly be Lord of our lives, we become incredibly fruitful. That’s why it’s called the “fruit of the Spirit.” His work in us overflows, and it is powerful!!!

So let’s dive in deep together! His work and his ways will astound us all!

 

 

 

 

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How to Keep a Good Attitude While Being Debt-Free

June 10, 2020 by Tasha Hackett 3 Comments

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.

Sometimes being debt-free isn’t much fun.

When I look around at the world driving nice cars and eating at nice places and going on nice vacations I can get discouraged. But then I remind myself that I am choosing this! (And then I also remind myself that 80% of Americans are in credit card debt.)

“I’m choosing this!” is more than just semantics. That little phrase can change your life. Hear me out: If you’re on some kind of diet that doesn’t allow cake, it’s only because they didn’t know about Laura’s cakes. (Like this Low sugar Strawberry Cream Cheese Cake or this Low Sugar Banana Cake.) But let’s pretend you’re not eating cake because a diet book told you not to. So now you’re sad about not eating cake, and you sigh and feel bad for yourself because you really want cake and it’s all somebody else’s fault for deciding that high sugar and processed fats and carbs are unhealthy and you struggle with attitude problems every time you are put in a cake situation.

Let’s not blame the cake.

What if you turned the whole thing around and told yourself, “I’m choosing this!” Nobody is forcing me to give up anything. “I am choosing to make better food choices. Eating healthier options is my choice! I don’t even want all that cake because I know what’s in it, and it’s nothing good!” And then you can use your freshly ground flour to make your own densely nutrient cake and you can choose to have your cake and eat it too.

What if you wanted a new car instead of cake?

Something my husband and I have embraced the last few years of paying off debt is “We’re choosing this!” We are choosing to not spend money so that we can use it for other things. We could choose to not pay our bills, but then the electric company could choose to turn off our lights. If we choose to ignore our mortgage payment, the bank will choose to take our house. See how this works?

There are exceptions to everything.

I do understand there are times when life spirals out of control and things you had carefully planned fall apart. My sister was in a car accident years ago and was left with over $40,000 in uncovered medical bills. Sometimes the job situation doesn’t work out, I get it. But for the vast majority of Americans we have put ourselves in our own financial messes. We made the choice to move out of our tiny apartment to buy a house we really couldn’t afford. And we had such fun in that house! But if you give a man a house he’s going to want a dog to go with it… and a lawn mower and snow shovels and two cars and another phone and the internet and a video streaming plan and a grill and… and… before you know it, the $9/hour secretary job just isn’t enough.

We absolutely love being debt free.

I haven’t always had a great relationship with money. I would get so mad at people who said, “I can’t afford…” and yet they lived a lifestyle that said differently. But then I found myself saying, “I can’t afford…” and I realized it’s all in perspective. We made a combined total of $8000 our first year of marriage. As we worked more and made more we bought more and being debt-free wasn’t as much of a priority because we didn’t even know where the money was going. When I sit down and look closely at the choices we’ve made the past 12 years of marriage I can see huge financial mistakes we made that put us back. With each raise we started living just a little more comfortably. And that’s okay! That was OUR CHOICE. But to then go and say, “Well, I can’t afford…” doesn’t really make sense.

Being debt-free sometimes means making the choice to nail shingles on your own garage.

I’m choosing this.

When I say, “I’m choosing this.” It brings ownership back on my shoulders. Playing the victim isn’t possible with that phrase. I am choosing to save money! I am choosing to pay extra on the mortgage! I’m choosing to do family birthdays differently. I am choosing to live beneath my means because I have something better in mind for later. Here are some choices we’ve made and continue to make because we absolutely love being debt-free: Paying the internet bill instead of keeping chips on hand. Putting gas in the car instead of going out to the movies. Finding extremely loved used vehicles instead of buying new clothes for everyone in the family. Living in a 600 sq foot home until we got a better paying job in another state.

Being debt-free sometimes means making the choice to watch the sunset on a beautiful date on the prairie.

You get to choose!

I am giving you a phrase that has the power to completely change your outlook on life and money whether you are debt-free or not. “I’m choosing this!” You get to choose and you don’t have to be ashamed about it either. I am (97% of the time) not ashamed about the vehicles I drive because we bought them on purpose. We used to buy them on purpose because it was that or nothing. Now we buy used vehicles on purpose because we have really exciting plans for our money.

What are you choosing? Are you pleased with your choices?

My intention is most definitely not to make you feel bad about yourself or your money, but the opposite! If you find yourself feeling sad and thinking, “I can’t afford…” try pepping yourself up with a little “I’m choosing this!” attitude change. It could rock your world. And then go make cake. Because cake is yummy and actually quite affordable.


Laura’s friend Tasha is passionate about encouraging women. She’s a homeschooling mamaX4 who loves to make silly faces in the mirror with her toddler. She and her husband Ben have worked hard to be debt-free (except for their mortgage) and try to choose people over things everytime. She can be found playing on Instagram @hackettacademy and @heavenlyhomemaker and has too many hobbies to name. Most recently she’s been making chocolate cake for breakfast and sending her kids out to pick asparagus for lunch.

 

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