Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

We Need Each Other {Guest Post at StrongChurch.org}

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I am honored to have my post featured today at StrongChurch.org. I’d love for you to head over there and read it. Here’s a snippet:

… And by all means, we don’t want to embarrass ourselves by sharing what we are truly struggling with. That might get too personal. It might reveal something ugly. No, we’d best keep our issues to ourselves.

That’s why our conversations in the church foyer often sound like this, “How are you?” “Fine, how are you?” “Fine.” We call it fellowship, even though I often have a more meaningful conversation with the bagger at the grocery store. (“Paper or plastic?”) ….

Read the entire post at StrongChurch.org

 

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What? You’re Not Perfect Either?

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What You're Not Perfect Either

When I wake up in the morning, I like walking into a clean living room. I love to see a bathroom empty of dirty laundry. And I feel so peaceful cooking breakfast in a tidy kitchen.

When I wake up the boys, it feels great to see them sleeping in a room that is uncluttered. As I walk back downstairs, I love to see our school room organized, our stash of Legos all picked up, and a hallway that is clear of all toys, clothes, and balls.

Yes, this is what I strive for as a homemaker. It is when my house is cleaned and uncluttered that I feel peace.

So what happens when I wake up to a kitchen that looks like this?

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And a hallway that looks like this?

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And a Lego room that looks like this:

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Should I then feel like I’ve failed? Should I sigh deeply, let my shoulders drop, frown, and wonder {again} why everyone else has it together better than I?

Sure I could, and I have many times through the years. After all, older women have encouraged me to never go to bed with a dirty kitchen. Books and blogs I’ve read have provided so many organizational tools and scheduling ideas that if I were to only implement them already, I could easily get done what I need to each day. There should be no reason that my clean laundry sits in the hallway for three days before we get around to folding it and putting it away –  after all, I am home all day and I have a lot of boys to help out. I have got to get better organized! I have got to figure out a better schedule! Somehow I must not be doing something right!

What is the matter with me? When am I ever going to get all of this figured out?

Nothing.

Never.

Nothing is the matter with me and I am never going to get all of this figured out. How about you? Now let’s all breathe a sigh of relief.

Let’s stop seeing our personal imperfections and feeling crushed by them. As huge as our laundry piles are, as long as our to-do lists become  – God is so much bigger, and so is his grace. While He does call us to take care of our homes, He doesn’t ask us to be enslaved by them or to make them an idol.

If we are so hung up on creating a perfect home that we lose sight of the heart of our home, ain’t no amount of dishwasher detergent gonna give us peace. Enough about me (or you) as a homemaker. Jesus is the One who makes a home.

Sometimes I wake up to this:

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It’s great. I love it. I strive to stay on top of the jobs that need to be done in my home. And I will continue to work hard because that is what I am called to do.

But never again will I feel like a failure when working hard for my family does not achieve perfection. Jesus is the heart of our home. The gunk on my floor doesn’t stand a chance.

What gets you down? What do you need to let go of so that you can accept the gift of God’s peace for your home?

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Free Printables from Heavenly Homemakers ~ Galatians 6:9 Wall Hanging

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It’s one of my favorite verses. I quote it to myself often. It gives me strength, and helps me know that what I am doing as a homemaker, mother, wife, servant, friend, and child of God is not without purpose. It reminds me of my calling for God’s kingdom. And it encourages me to continue to seek Christ for my strength and focus.

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This week, our free printable is this beautiful wall hanging for you to print, frame, and hang in your home. There are two different options – blue and black, or gray and black.

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Download Galatians 6:9 in Blue and Black here.

Download Galatians 6:9 in Gray and Black here.

Wanting to bless someone else too? For just a few dollars, you can print and frame this and give it to someone who needs encouragement.

I printed this, put a piece of coordinating blue cardstock on the back, then framed it (for two bucks). I LOVE having this in my living room!

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Looking for more free printables that will benefit you and help you to bless others too? Here are our Free Encouragement Cards printable from last week. Check back each Monday as we offer a new free printable option each week!

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Your Home is Beautiful

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Your Home is Beautiful

Do you live in a house? Apartment? Duplex? Trailer?

Then you are very, very blessed.

Do you have a bed with a pillow? A kitchen with a skillet? A chair to sit on? A shower with running water?

Wow. Then you really have it made.

I’m guessing you might have more than a backpack to hold your clean clothes? Blessing upon blessing.

Since going to Colorado with my family a few weeks ago, serving alongside those who minister to the homeless, feeding families who don’t have enough food to nourish their children through the week, and learning more about those who have no place to call home – I can’t quite see my house the same as I did before.

It’s been easy for me through the years to find fault in the house we’ve lived in for the past eleven years. Our abode is well over 100 years old. That means it has a lot of “character” right? Yes. If by “character” you mean that the toilets don’t flush well, the basement looks like the Adam’s Family lives there, and the dust from the Dirty Thirties is still stuck in crevices around each of our fifty drafty windows.

That’s how I look at my house when I have a self-focused perspective. The world tells me I need new, shiny, perfect, better, best, improved, highest quality, and spotless. Pinterest tells me I need my home and the contents therein to look like as though they climbed out of a magazine – completely unique, yet altogether trendy (which is oxymoronic, yet true). We must have the right color scheme, a lovely furniture arrangement, and classy wall decor. Otherwise, we must feel guilty, deprived, and less than.

What if we just decided to be thankful instead?

We don’t have central air in our house. Below is a picture of our kitchen window air conditioner, sporting white cardboard and clear packing tape to seal off the window. (Which I felt was better than brown cardboard and silver duct tape, yes?)  I used to be embarrassed by this. Now I just appreciate that we have air conditioning on 100 degree days.

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Go ahead. Pin this. I dare you. You know you want one just like it in your window.
Perhaps we could start a unique trend.

Undoubtedly, God gave each of us our home and has called on us to use it for Him as we raise our family and offer hospitality. We need to keep it clean, take care of it, and create a space that will tell all who enter that our home is a place of peace and joy.

But beyond that, should we really lose sleep over the fact that our “to-do” list of needed home improvements is as tall as the pile of clutter in the corner? I’ve come to realize that having a foundation, walls, a floor, and a roof is more than many people have. Even if some of our furniture is old, worn, and stained – at least it’s furniture.

Look at your home through the eyes of the homeless. Your home is perfect – a gift. It is beautiful, and truly, you are blessed.

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Let Me Clarify: God Comes First

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First I talked about how God and I have been meeting recently for some very important one-on-one quiet time. I have found this time to be crucial, powerful, and absolutely necessary in my life so that I can be in tune with what He wants me to do with my time each day.

Then I shared that some of you may have a hard time finding quiet time in the midst of crazy schedules and the terrible twos (which is so not limited to two year olds – if only). I understand the difficulty that comes with trying to find personal devotion time each day.

The first post was not meant to bring on the guilt. The second post was not meant to give you an out. The third post (that would be this one) is letting you know that no matter what your season in life, God is gracious, God understands what you’re going through, and God should come first always.

Your time with God may look different than mine. It doesn’t really matter what it looks like as long as it looks like something. Yes?

quiet time

Because obviously, this is how we all spend our “quiet time” each day. 
I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.

Let me remind you of an important phrase I used in the second post:  God understands your need for quiet, and will provide it for you when you ask.

Have you asked?

Take time (there’s that four letter word again) to reflect on how you spend your awake hours each day. We likely all say that God comes first in our list of priorities. But is our life a reflection of that conviction? Mine isn’t always. Sometimes I’d rather play than pray, and that’s just the stinky truth of what sometimes hangs out in my heart as I’m choosing how to spend my time. 

Or, if I fall back on the “I’m so busy” excuse, I’m ultimately choosing my kids, my husband, my kitchen, or even my doggone toilets over God. (Although nothin’ says you can’t become one with the toilet bowl while having some powerful prayer time. Been there, done that, glory hallelujah.)

Some questions to consider:

Is the desire to feed your family healthy food taking so much time that you feel “too busy” for anything else?  While healthy food is important (this is the Heavenly Homemakers site after all) – if the time it takes to prepare the food is taking hours each day and stressing you out, something needs to change. Continue to learn to serve healthy foods that are simple and quick. (My book and this site are full of info and recipes that combine healthy with simple.)  Save the detailed, time consuming recipes for special occasions. Scrambled eggs and fruit are healthy and quick, as are hundreds of other meals and snacks. God first, not food. 

When you find yourself with a few moments to spare, do you turn to your Bible and prayer – or to Facebook, blogs, TV, or you-name-it-whatever-you-love-to-do?  None of those are evil (usually), but neither are they as rich in blessing as time spent with God.

Have you signed your kids (or yourself) up for too many activities?  Ask God to show you if you need to cut back. Running all over town (or out of town) is a time and energy killer. Ask me how I know.

Are you involved with friends and ministries (yes, even really good ones) that keep you on the run so much serving God that you can’t find time to sit with Him? Oh, have I been there. Upon reflection, it turns out that God doesn’t need me to be all and do all. (Surprising fact:  He already is all and does all. Without my help.)  When I have taken time to ask and listen, He puts me in place with just the ministries He would like me to be a part of. Imagine that.

Share with us!  What holds you back? What can you say no to so that you can say yes to God?

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How to Find Quiet Time With God When There is No Quiet Time

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I remember the days. And I remember the guilt.

So let’s just stop a minute and talk together about how to find quiet time to spend with God when your days are filled to the brim with fussy babies, dirty dishes, needy toddlers, muddy preschoolers, full-scheduled teenagers, work and ministry commitments, spilled oatmeal, missed naps, doctor appointments, broken washing machines, unexpected company, puke on the couch, arguing siblings, burned gunk on the stove-top, and poop that didn’t quite make it to the toilet on time.

How do we find time for God when it seems our prayer life consists mainly of, “Help God! I can’t find my keys and please give me patience so I don’t scream at my kids again and could you please make them obey me so that I don’t have to scream again but seriously, I can’t find my keys!!”

It doesn’t help when we read that others are getting up early to watch the sun rise while they have precious devotion time with the Father (after they exercise, spend quality time with their darling husband before work, journal, and balance the checkbook). When?? How?? Do these people never sleep? I must be doing something wrong. My priorities must not be right. I am failing. My relationship with God is not where it should be. Oh, but I’m so tired. Weary. Discouraged.

My dear reader:  You are not failing. You are not “less-than.” The other women don’t “have it all together” better than you. None of them. Don’t listen to lies and become discouraged.

Getting a healthy amount of sleep (or at least as much as your season in life will allow) is as important a task as anything you can do. Without sleep, everything else is harder. So sleep. Rest. The dust on the picture frames is not important, nor is it a big deal that your kid occasionally wears the same shirt (with a dried-on booger smeared across the sleeve) two days in a row. 

Give yourself grace. God does. If that’s not permission to relax, I don’t know what is.

Understand that time with God happens all day long. He is with you and hears your cry for help. He rejoices with you in your moments of triumph and cheers you on. He understands how full your day is and how hard you are working. He understands your need for quiet, and will provide it for you when you ask.

Did you hear that? He will provide.  He wants quiet time with you as much or more than you want it with Him. 

Grab hold of those few minutes you might find while you’re stirring the sauce for dinner. Everyone playing in the living room while you’re washing dishes? Sounds like you just found yourself some God time! Taking a quick shower before hubby heads out to work? God’s listening. Nursing the baby…again? Close your eyes, breathe, and spend some time in prayer (if you can stay awake). Running your pre-teen to sports practice? Crank up the Christian music and worship. Or better yet, turn the music off and enjoy the few minutes of silence. Can’t seem to find any time alone, ever? Then read the Word out loud to whoever is in the room with you. Pray aloud. Share that time with your kids. 

Some day soon, you might find yourself in a season that allows for pulling up a chair and having regular times of quiet God time. It’s beautiful and it’s necessary. In the meantime, pray for God to provide you just what you need so that your soul will be refreshed and your heart will be at peace.

And if you fall asleep during your prayer again, take comfort, knowing that there’s no better place to find rest.

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How in the World Am I Supposed To Serve Right Now?!

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Remember that exciting ministry announcement I told you I was going to share this week?! A few technical difficulties came up, so I’m going to have to delay the announcement for just another week or two. (Not being able to tell you yet is killllling me!)  Just know that you and I are going to get to be a part of something awesome together, many will be blessed, everyone in your family can be involved with this ministry, and, and…that’s all I can say. I suppose you can go ahead and start praying about it though. God knows what it is. :)

In the meantime, I have felt it on my heart to share my thoughts about serving with your family when the very idea of reaching out sounds overwhelming and exhausting. Maybe you have little bitty children, making it difficult to get enough sleep, find even one clean towel, and run a brush through your hair each day. You may be thinking, “Serving? With my family? How and when should I do that?”

Maybe you have a sick friend or family member. Or you just buried a loved one. Perhaps you just moved and have more boxes in your house than furniture. It could be that you or your spouse is out of work, and you don’t know where the next dollar is coming from. Maybe you are struggling to hold your marriage together. Or your children are making choices that are tearing your family apart.

prayingI am here to tell you that there is a time to serve, and a time to be served. There is a time to reach out, and a time to let others reach out and hold you. There is a time to give, and a time to receive gifts. There is a time to go, and a time to stop. There is a time to work, and a time to rest.

If it is your time to be served, be held, receive gifts, stop, and rest – with no fear, regret, or hesitation, give yourself permission to be generously loved on. 

When my mom died eight and a half years ago, there were many days I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I was pregnant with Malachi, and our other boys were ages 7, 4, and 2. I was exhausted. I was devastated. I was broken.

It was my time to be served.  People came and vacuumed my house for me. They cleaned my toilets. Meals appeared in my freezer. Friends came and whisked my kids off so that they could have some fun and so that I could grieve and rest. Oh how much love I felt from so many people who care about me.

During much of that time, I couldn’t even think about doing something for someone outside of my immediate family. And that was okay. It was hard enough to get out a box of cereal and put it on the table for breakfast. 

But then there were days when I simply needed to serve. I find it a bit hard to explain, but sometimes, I actually needed to look beyond myself and think about anything at all (anything!) besides being sad. I couldn’t do anything big (if in fact we can put a “big” and “small” value on acts of service). But the little boys and I could pack up for an hour or two to go visit a widow lady who needed comfort as much as I did. We could get out the art supplies and make cards for people. We could pray together. 

If I didn’t feel like being with people (because often, I just didn’t have it in me), we could make cookies and have Matt drop them off in our church fellowship hall for the upcoming bake sale. Or we could gather up some clothes we no longer needed and let a friend deliver them to an excited recipient.

I am amazed that even at one of my lowest points, God still provided ways for me to serve. At the same time, I continued to let others in to serve me too. I do believe this should always be the case. Sometimes we are more able to serve, sometimes we have very little to give. Let God lead you on this. He knows just what you need.

Please share your thoughts and experiences on this subject. I’d love to hear ways people have blessed you in your time of need. Have you found ways to serve others during difficult seasons in life? 

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How Do You Serve Together as a Family?

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In a world that tells our kids that they only need to think about themselves  – we long to teach our children what it means to give, what it means to be servant-hearted, and what it means to be selfless. 

I believe these are lessons we are all, as adults, still striving to learn ourselves. In fact, you should be delighted to know that just the other day, I was as selfless and servant-hearted as can be. I then proceeded to throw a tantrum because no one recognized how kind and wonderful I had been. How dare my children not pat me on the back or give me a loving round of applause for my constant selfless acts of bending-over-backwards kindness toward them?!

Selfless?  Sounds more like I was being self-absorbed, self-motivated, and self…self…selfish! I obviously still have so much to learn.

So how do we teach our kids to be humble and servant-hearted? And how do we (the wise and wonderful grown-ups) learn to die to ourselves? 

serving_7I believe we do this by looking outward. By looking to the needs of others. By stopping the focus on ourselves and instead, focusing on truly loving those around us. 

(By the way, Jesus never threw a tantrum because he wasn’t being properly appreciated for his selfless acts. Not one time. I would do well to remember this.) 

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I find that each time I serve someone in my family or in my church or community out of true, selfless love, I am so enriched by the experience that I can’t help but be drawn closer to God. This is what I want my children to learn and understand:  That service to others is a glory to God. That this world is not our home, and we are not called to be content and comfortable, but to selflessly love and to serve. That loving on others brings pure joy that can only be achieved when we follow Jesus’ servant-hearted footsteps.

serving_5I believe the best way we can learn to serve selflessly and teach our children to serve selflessly is to work at it side by side. How ridiculous is it for me to put my kids in front of a DVD so that I can have the time to work on a ministry I’m involved in? How silly is it that I would busy my kids in another room on an act of kind service while I head to the computer to get some writing done?

serving_4Admittedly, this has to happen sometimes. But what if, the majority of the time, we all work together on ministries as a family? What if we talk together, pray together, plan together, and execute together various ministries that God has given us? In doing so, we learn together, grow together, make beautiful memories together, and slowly but surely, become selfless servants…together.

I have more to share on this topic – and I have a very exciting ministry project announcement that I’ll be writing about next week! In the meantime, let’s reflect together on how we each serve within our families. This looks different for each family, depending on your season in life, how old your kids are, and the circumstances going on around you. But I believe each family can bless others in so many different ways! So share!! What do you and your family do to bless and love on others?

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What Are The Gifts You Received Today?

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I know we focus on being thankful each Gratituesday around here. But hey, we can focus again on it later in the week, right?!

I am currently reading through Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts. It’s an amazing (and challenging) read, and I highly encourage this book. I am realizing the need tonight to focus on the blessings and gifts of today. Will you join me? 

Some of my gifts today…

~ We got to eat lots of veggies!! Always wonderful after traveling. ;)

~ I was blessed to have a most encouraging telephone conversation with my Aunt Millie this morning. Oh how I love, need, and am inspired by that woman. She is a beautiful woman of God. She begins chemo treatments tomorrow. And there she was encouraging me…

~  Prayer. What would we do without it?

~  It’s the first day of spring! It is still cold here, but today, the sunshine busted through the windows, giving us just a hint of what is to come.

~  I got to be sharpened in Ladies Bible Class tonight. I am surrounded there by godly women. 

~  We have enough food in our fridge for leftovers at lunchtime tomorrow. Hooray for the thirteen peas!

~  I got to squeeze in a work-out today. It was just what I needed after sitting in the van (and eating cheesecake) yesterday.

~  Since I was able to keep up with laundry at our lodge in Branson, by tonight, I only have one load left to do from our trip. 

~  There were casseroles in the freezer for us to warm up and eat today so that I didn’t have to stop working to cook. 

~  You. I am blessed by each of you who choose to read my thoughts and ideas here on this blog. I appreciate you.

~  Made-up songs. My boys come up with them daily. Today was no exception. Sometimes they even rhyme. And they are always ridiculously funny. 

~  Crashing in my own bed. That ranks right up there with eating veggies after returning home from vacation. :)

What about you? Share the gifts of today. What comes to mind? In what ways are you blessed?

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A Fresh Tablecloth Makes Everything Better

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Really? Does a fresh, clean tablecloth really make everything better?

It doesn’t heal you when you’re sick. It doesn’t take away life’s frustrations and grief. It doesn’t make the “to-do” list go away or suddenly give you an empty laundry hamper. It certainly won’t make sure your bills are paid.

But every single time I get our table cleaned off, our kitchen counters wiped down, the leftovers put away, the dishwasher humming – and I lay down a clean, fresh tablecloth – I suddenly feel as though I can breathe again. I find it extremely refreshing.

tablecloth

It probably sounds silly, simplistic, and maybe even a tiny bit ridiculous to those who could really care less about a tablecloth. But I find that a clean tablecloth gives me a fresh start – even if it’s just a fresh start to the morning or the afternoon. The next time I walk into the kitchen to serve my family, I can look at the table and say, “Aaaaahhhhhhhh”, instead of looking at it with discouragement because it is covered with school books, crumbs, maple syrup drippings, dirty dishes, and a variety of Lego people or paper airplanes. I’m all about letting our house have a “lived in” look, because indeed, we do very much live here. But it is no fun to cook a meal around a huge mess. 

When I begin with a less cluttered kitchen, I can then cheerfully make a new mess of the kitchen, cook up a storm, dirty up pots and pans, serve a meal, watch the kids dribble gravy or ketchup or cheesy pasta off of their plates and onto the table. 

And it’s all okay. Because a fresh tablecloth will make everything better. :)

Are you a tablecloth user? Do you find that you can breathe easier when your table is all cleaned off?

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