Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

Dreams, Reality, and Working Hard No Matter What

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When I was a little girl, I couldn’t wait to grow up and be a wife and mommy. And I also wanted to be a teacher. And a hairdresser. And a baker. And a writer.

I had visions of what this dream life would be like, even though I wasn’t sure how I could really “have it all”. After all, I always really, really wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But I also wanted to be a teacher or maybe I would do hair or have a bakery. Writing? Well, I just really enjoyed it. Maybe, I thought, I would write a children’s book someday.

I certainly never considered the hard work it would take to achieve each dream. As I dreamed of what my life would be like when I grew up, I always pictured the end result. The handsome, hard working daddy. The adorable, clean, well fed children. The spotless, organized home (surrounded by a picket fence and pretty flowers). The beautiful cakes and cookies seen from my bakery window. My perfectly managed classroom full of happy, smart students. Finished manuscripts sitting neatly in a stack beside my typewriter (yes, I’m old). And me. I would be the smiling, rested, relaxed grown up lady.

Fastforward to 2013. 

I am 39 years old with a handsome, hard working husband. 

I am a mom. I’ve got four amazing kids. All boys. Who knew?!

I am a teacher. My classroom is our kitchen table or our sofa. 

I am a baker. My oven is often filled with breads, muffins, casseroles, cookies, and much more – all of which are scarfed up before anyone has much chance or desire to admire them. 

Giant Breakfast Cookies, 2 loaves of Cinnamon Swirl Bread,
2 loaves of Honey Whole Wheat Bread, Homemade Poptarts

I am a hairdresser. About once a month, we cycle through everyone from Dad to teenager to ten year old, then sweep up all the blond hairs that have fallen in the process.

I am a writer. There are no children’s books, but there is a blog and there are books. Now there is even an eCourse that combines my love of teaching with my love of writing.

How could I have ever imagined that living my dreams as a wife, a mom, a teacher, a baker, and a writer could be so amazing, fulfilling, rewarding, and enjoyable? I couldn’t know – until I began living the dream. I’m so thankful and joyful! Recognizing this is what makes me the smiling, rested, relaxed grown up lady.

But often, I am the tired, worn out, overwhelmed lady – trying to get a meal on the table, the writing deadline met, and the kids to stop arguing.

Dreaming big? We need to do it. God has given us all gifts – we need to dream and plan for how we can use them for His purposes! 

As a child, I simply had…dreams. I now realize that living my dream means that I must be a very hard worker. I must be wise with my time, careful with my choices, and intentional about my relationships.

Clean houses, happy children, pretty baked goods, writing projects, healthy relationships – they don’t just happen. We can’t just dream them into reality. We can’t just desire something into existence.

We have to work hard. We have to persevere. We have to take leaps of faith. We have to make sacrifices. And we have to trust the Creator. 

Will all of our dreams then come true? Likely not all of them. I’ve endured shattered dreams. It’s devastating. We have to trust the Creator on this one too.

Here’s what I’ve realized:  God’s reality is much better than any of my dreams – even the dreams that have “come true”. He can use us to fulfill His purposes, to glorify Him, and to minister to others in ways we never could ever think or dream, or in ways that we can think or dream. And He always gives us everything we need to make it happen.

Now that’s a reality I’d like to hold onto. 

Please share in the comments:  Do you feel like you’re living many of your dreams? (Does it take a little more work than you initially figured it might?!)  Have you been frustrated to see some of your dreams unfulfilled? How have you seen God work through those times?

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What Recharges Your Batteries?

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freezer_cooking_3

Hearty Chili and Whole Wheat Butterhorns for the freezer

We had been traveling for two weeks. We drove from Nebraska to California and back again. We saw friends and loved ones along the way. We waited in traffic, slowed down while car accidents were cleared away, crawled along to be careful of icy roads, and took detours. Our body clocks got messed up because of the time changes. Our digestive systems got messed up because of the fast food.

We got behind on our work. We came home to deadlines, expectations, loads and loads of laundry, and a Christmas tree that needed to be taken down and put away.

After spending an enjoyable holiday with family – I found myself being so tired upon arriving home that all I could think of was how miserable I was. I had so much catching up to do, I didn’t know where to start. I just wanted to sleep. But no matter how much I slept, I somehow couldn’t get caught up on rest. My body was exhausted. And ultimately, I didn’t have time for extra sleep. There was too much to do!

The point of this post is not to invite you to my pity party. I’ve prayed through it. I’ve caught up on sleep. I’m over it. :)

But we all have times like this don’t we? Times when we are so overwhelmed and exhausted we can hardly see straight? It’s not fun.

While I was in the “thick of the sludge” last week, at one point I groaned and wearily told Matt, “You know what I really want to do? I really just want to skip all the rest of the work I need to do and go into the kitchen and cook all day!”

Matt told me to go for it. But I whined that I “didn’t have time to take a break like that.”

Finally, once I realized that I wasn’t able to be productive anymore at the computer, I threw my hands in the air and went into the kitchen to start grinding flour. :) I then proceeded to spend the entire afternoon baking, cooking, and baking some more.

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Orange Pound Cake, following this Lemon Pound Cake recipe, subbing orange juice from our California fresh oranges!

By the time I was finished, my back was aching, my feet were tired, and my kitchen was a mess. But I felt completely refreshed, recharged, and ready to tackle my other projects once again.

freezer_cooking_1

 Whole Wheat Calzones

 It’s amazing really. Sometimes when we have too much to do, we need to just step back and do something else. By doing so, we will be refreshed and ready to tackle our to-do list again.

Cooking refreshes me. I love it. And then I end up with great food to feed my family too. It’s a win-win!

What recharges your batteries? What activity do you love to do when you need a breath of fresh air? Making crafts, cleaning, cooking, something else? I can’t wait to hear!

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Christmas Sweet Pepper

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My husband babied our potted pepper plant. He carried it outside on “sunny” days – which are few and far between in Nebraska this time of the year. He brought it back in at night so that it wouldn’t freeze.

And then, in December, we enjoyed the one last sweet pepper that we had grown. Yum!

May your Christmas be filled with joy and praise to our Father. And may you have unexpected blessings in your life – such as a fresh, homegrown sweet pepper in December. :)

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Be “All There” For Your Family This Christmas Season {A Guest Post}

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Please welcome Jeanette, one of our site sponsors who blogs at A Moment With Mom. She wrote a beautiful post that I wanted to share with you. I know for me, as a mom who has a brain that is often three tasks ahead, I often struggle to be “all there” in the moment. I hope you are also blessed by what Jeanette has to share:

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What is your favorite Christmas memory?

I would venture to bet it has very little to do with “things” and more to do with relationships. As a mother of 11, it has been important to me to cultivate memories for my family that were of substance. While a child may jump up and down with glee for that new toy they’ve had on their list, it’s only a few months before the newness is worn off and the excitment is gone. However, when I put my attention on creating memorable moments, I hear the excitment and impact they had in my children’s lives for years to come.

There were many years of our marriage that we had very little. We have lived off the grid in a tent with five children at the time, while my husband built our cabin. We have washed clothes in the creek, used a wood cookstove to cook a pot of my home made potporri, and I harvested our food from wild plants. I know how to live with a little.

In that season of life I was always trying to create an environment that welcomed the beauty that was all around us. I would go out and cut cedar branches with the children and then sit and work with them on making our own wreath for the front door. These were some precious moments together as a family. We would sit and string cranberries and popcorn while talking about special family memories. Taking a drive to see the lights has always been a fun treat, especially with a cup of home made hot cocoa.

We’ve always had the family tradition of creating a gingerbread house, even though we’re terrible at it. It’s not about how the gingerbread house turned out, it’s about the laughter and working together that makes it a memory worth repeating each year.

How can you cultivate a favorite Christmas memory for your family? Singing Christmas songs while baking cookies? Taking a ride to see the lights and drinking hot cocoa along the way? Eating candy canes together as a family while reading a favorite story? There are so many simple things we can do with our family to cultivate environments for that special moment, but we have to be all there!

Jim Elliot once said, “Where ever you are be all there.” I believe we as wives and mothers we can apply that concept to our homes. We have so many distractions around us and it’s taking a toll in our home making. In order for us to purposefully create memories we can’t be distracted with texts, phone calls, Facebook, or other social outlets. We each need to take the time to be “all there” for our family!

These days will go by fast and before too long we’ll see that all we have are memories. Let’s make them meaningful memories!

I encourage you to read more of what Jeanette has to share on her blog A Moment with M.O.M.

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Serving Trumps a Pity Party

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We had finally reached the end of what is typically one of the busiest weeks of the year. 

It was now finally Saturday, and we had been gone all day long at one of our son’s soccer games out of town. The kitchen was a picture of chaos, with coolers and leftovers from our packed lunch sitting in the perfect place for me to trip over while I tried to throw together a late dinner. The crusty dishes from breakfast were still piled high in the sink. Fruit gnats had found our compost bucket, which, I might add, was beginning to smell nasty and fermented. The tomato sauce splattered all over the stove when I poured it into the pot to make spaghetti. 

In the meantime, I was moving super slowly. I felt very, very tired. Plus, for some unknown reason, my left knee – the knee I’ve had trouble with off and on for 22 years since I injured it in high school – was causing me a lot of pain. I wrapped ice around it while I cut up veggies for dinner and just kept moving. Slowly I focused on finishing dinner, getting everyone fed, and getting the kitchen in decent shape so that I could just go to bed. 

Oh yes, and I also concentrated very hard on feeling sorry for myself. All I could think of was, “I’m sooo tired. My knee hurts. I just want to go to bed.” I couldn’t have smiled if you would have paid me, and I really didn’t feel like answering questions or talking to my family.

And then, someone showed up at our door. 

Oh yeah.  I had forgotten that we had told a young friend of ours he could spend the night with us. But there he was, and what could I do but find some sort of pleasant look to greet him with? I pulled a lopsided smile out from way down deep inside my toes, and welcomed him in.

This friend of ours has some disabilities and special needs, which meant that heading to bed any time soon just wasn’t going to happen. But he is incredibly delightful to have around, and he needed to be served.

I invited him into the kitchen with me (scooting the coolers out of the way as best I could) and began to serve him dinner and visit with him. He shared a fun story about something that had happened earlier in the day, which made me laugh in spite of myself.

Several minutes later, as I fed him and helped him with various needs, it occurred to me that I wasn’t quite as tired as I had been. I had forgotten all about my aching knee. The mess in the kitchen didn’t look so terrible. And in fact, I was feeling quite joyful and energetic.

This young man has taught me many life lessons, and this time was no exception:   If you’re down, feeling sorry for yourself, and otherwise choosing to throw yourself a pity party…consider who you might serve. Looking outward toward meeting the needs of others will take the focus off of “self” every time.

Disclaimer:  Obviously, we all need to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves before we serve others, otherwise we have nothing left to give. The point of this post isn’t suggesting that you give of yourself until you pass out. The point is to stop feeling sorry for yourself. And if you’re having a hard time doing that, find someone to serve. It works every time.

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Dear God, Where Are You? {A Guest Post from Lysa Terkeurst} Plus a Giveaway!

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 I am very honored to welcome this guest post by Lysa Terkeurst from Proverbs 31 Ministries… 

“Mom, I didn’t make it. Please pray for me. I just feel confused about God.”

I felt my daughter’s deep hurt as clearly as if it were my own. I know what it feels like to want something so badly and have that dream shut down. That door closed. That opportunity slipped away.

She had been talking about trying for this special achievement at summer camp for 3 years. But she wasn’t old enough to try until this year, her 4th year at camp.

She met every challenge and could see the goal in sight … until it was time for her to light a large campfire with only three matches, one small square of newspaper, and a few sticks of wood.

She struck the first match and held it to the newspaper but it didn’t ignite. She struck the second match and held it to the newspaper. It still didn’t ignite.

She stared at the third and final match. Knowing a big part of the challenge was teaching the kids how to communicate with God and fully rely on Him, she’d been praying through every stage. But now, she didn’t just pray—she cried out to God.

“Please help me, God. Please,” she mouthed as she struck the third match. She held the flame to the paper and watched in complete disbelief. The matchstick burned but the paper did not.

As the final match burned out, she lowered her head in defeat.

Nine girls tried for this highest honor of finishing the challenge. Three girls didn’t make it, including my daughter.

When I picked her up a week later, she asked if we could process this situation. What bothered her most wasn’t not getting the camp honor. What bothered her most was not experiencing God’s power like the other girls.

They all had stories of God answering their cries for help in amazing ways through the challenge.

“Mom, I didn’t get that with God. Why?”

It was one of those questions you don’t want to mess up in answering.

I asked her to recall every step of her challenge so we could intentionally look for God’s hand. I listened intently for anything unusual and unexplainable.

When she got to the fire, I found it. There was no reason her newspaper shouldn’t light. None at all. Everyone else’s paper lit.

“Honey, that can only be explained by God intervening. He was there. He was listening. And we just have to trust there was some reason you shouldn’t have continued that challenge. We may not know that reason, but we can certainly trust God was protecting you … loving you … revealing His power to you.”

She put her head on my shoulder, “You really think so Mom?”

I whispered, “I know so.”

I know so because I trust the truth God has given me. Truths like these are anchors that hold me to the reality of who God is.

He is the One in whom I find comfort and reassurance: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)

He is right here with me in the midst of my trouble, I am not alone: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 (NIV)

He is the One who can use my tears to water the soil of my heart so that it can one day be a harvest of joy: “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.” Psalm 126:5 (NIV)

Yes, I know deep hurt. But I also know deep hope. So, I whispered it again, “Yes, sweetheart, I know so.”

Sometimes God’s power is shown as much in preventing things as it is in making them happen. We may never know the why. But we can always know and trust the Who.

About Lysa:

Lysa TerKeurst is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speaker, and President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. You can read her daily blog at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or hear her encouragement through the Proverbs 31 Ministries’ radio program played on over 1200 outlets. She loves that the first four letters of Messiah spell a “mess.” All of the messages Lysa speaks and writes about come from her awareness of what a mess she can be. Most days you can find her writing from her sticky farm table in North Carolina where she lives with her husband Art, her five priority blessings named Jackson, Mark, Hope, Ashley, and Brooke, 3 dogs and a mouse that refuses to leave her kitchen.

Sometimes it’s hard to understand why God prevents something when we want Him to provide it. If you’re looking for a friend to help you process your emotions in the hard times, Lysa does this in her gut-honest new book, Unglued. Click here to get your copy today. Or, leave a comment on this post for a chance to win a free copy of the book! I’ll draw two random winners on Friday, August 24. Please watch here for a post stating the winners as you will be responsible for contacting me if your name is chosen!

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A Little Marriage Tip from the Peaches

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Last week it was time to harvest all of the peaches from our tree. They were tiny bites of heaven, full of sweet drops of gold that dripped down our chins as we indulged several times a day while supplies lasted.

As my husband and I worked together to slice and freeze what our family couldn’t eat right away, we once again proved how God made us different.

Matt is a perfectionist.

I am not.

We figure that no matter how different we might be in how we go about our work, together, we’ll still be able to make some great smoothies, and even better cobblers.

Look deep. There’s a little life lesson in there somewhere. :)

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A Toenail and a Prayer

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Remember these?

Those were the toes my cousin painted for me over a month ago at our family reunion. I loved them, enjoyed them, and felt all kinds of pretty with them. I am sad to say that toenails are made to grow. Therefore, I finally had to remove them last week. (I removed the pretty painted flowers, not the toenails. Wow. Someone should edit that sentence to make it clearer and less disgusting.)

While I enjoyed the pretty toenails very much, what I enjoyed even more is how looking at them reminded me of the cousin who painted them for me. I only see her once each year now that we’re all grown up, and shucks, I miss her. And so, each time I saw my toes, which was quite a few times each day, I would think of Carie, and say a prayer for her. Yes, my toes would bring her to mind. (Should she be honored…or mortified?)  Each time I thought of her, I would immediately breathe a prayer for her. Prayers for her as she raises her daughters. Prayers for her marriage to continue to be strong. Prayers for the business she and her husband own and run. Prayers for her health. Prayers for her parents. Prayers for her siblings. Wow, it was a great month of praying for Carie. Of course, now I miss her more, but that’s okay. God’s got her covered, and I’ve got my great memories. 

It just so happens that I also say a prayer each time I start a load of laundry. Why? Because filthy socks all bunched up in a wad always turn my thoughts to all things spiritual…obviously. (How I wish.)  Actually, the real reason is because I order my laundry detergent through my sister-in-law, Kari. Instinctively then, seeing the laundry box makes me think of Kari. And thinking of Kari makes me pray for Kari. Here’s hoping that Kari feels uber blessed, because goodness, I do a lot of laundry each week. That’s a lot of prayer, my friends. (If you’re wondering, the detergent I use is Shaklee – the only kind I trust for my family, especially with Malachi’s sensitive skin. Ask me more if you want info. Then you can pray for Kari while you’re doing laundry too. How ’bout that?)  :)

I pray for my cousin Deb each time I do dishes (again, that’s a lot of prayer!). I pray for friends as I drive by their homes. I pray for my children when I trip over the shoes they once again failed to put away in the closet.

Oh wait. No. I don’t. I should, but I tend to mutter (or holler) something other than a prayer when I trip over their shoes. I guess I need to work on that one. (She says, sheepishly.)

We’re all busy. We say we’ll pray for our friends and loved ones, especially while they are going through tough times, but do we always remember? I’m afraid I don’t always.

Having a physical reminder is always helpful, and sometimes necessary, for me to remember to pray specifically for someone. Who knew that God could use crusty socks for his purposes? :)

Oh, and hey, if you need prayer and you want to come over and paint my toenails, I wouldn’t say no.

What helps you to remember to pray for others?

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Just Shut-Up and Be

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Earlier this school year, I read, chapter by chapter, through the book of Job with our boys.

Admittedly, reading the entire book of Job is not the most fun. It is quite a long book of the Bible, plus, the dude goes through pretty much every horrible life event a person could endure. He loses all of his children, he loses his livelihood, he loses his health. Job becomes absolutely miserable. The book is, in many ways, depressing and discouraging. And yet, the lessons I came away with from reading the book of Job have served me well – when I remember them.

There are three main lessons I learned while reading the book of Job. One – Job refused to curse God and never stopped talking to Him, even in his misery. Two – Job wasn’t afraid to “let God have it” while talking with Him. There weren’t a lot of flowery, cheerful words shared while Job was lying there grieving his family and miserably ready to scrape his skin sores off with broken pottery.

And Lesson Number Three – Job’s friends did best when they kept their mouths shut.

In Job chapter two it says,

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. Job 2: 11-13

Seven days and nights – no one said a word. They saw their friend’s misery, they wept for him, they hurt for him, they cared for him. And they simply sat with him.

I felt very challenged by that. What great friends! I want to be a friend like this!

Oh but wait – Job’s friends couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Eventually, they could stand it no longer and began giving Job all kinds of unwanted advice, even offering suggestions as to why Job was suffering. And they didn’t just say a few words, they went on and on for chapters! (Not that they knew they were speaking in Biblical chapters, but you get what I mean.)  Now, not only was Job grieving and in great physical pain, he had idiot friends to deal with too. Just what he needed.

When a friend is suffering, often there are no words necessary – we just need to shut-up and be. Just sit. Just be there. Pray. That’s it.

When in doubt, when you aren’t sure what to say, when you can’t find the words you wish you could find that might offer comfort to your hurting friend – consider keeping your mouth shut, your ears open, and a prayer always on your heart. That may be just what your friend really needs.

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Why My Whole Foods Menu Plan Might Be Overwhelming

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menuplanner1webI love planning a menu for my family. Without a menu plan, it takes me way too long to figure out what we’re eating each day. I also like sharing my menu plan with all of you each week. Many of you have mentioned how helpful you find my plan and have told me that you often “steal” many of my meal ideas. I love that!

But, I also really appreciate the perspective shared in a comment last week – the perspective that my menu plan may be overwhelming to some of you. The fact that I plan all three meals for each day of the week, and the fact that all three meals tend to be big meals – yep, I can definitely see how that could be overwhelming!

I decided to take the time to explain my menu plans just a little bit. I certainly don’t want to overwhelm anyone, nor do I think that planning all three meals for every day of the week is a necessity for everyone. It’s what works for me, but I know it doesn’t work that way for everyone. In fact, menu planning doesn’t work at all for some people. If you’re good at winging it at meal time – go for it! :)

I have found that planning all three meals each day for our family works well for me for the following reasons:

1. My family eats a boat load of food, for every meal. Having a plan for which boat load of food is going on the table really helps me keep my head above water. (Get it? Boat load? Head above water? Ha.)

2. Having a plan in place for each meal of the day helps me focus on other things so that I’m not constantly distracted by what I’m supposed to feed us next. Trust me, the boys ask all the time – “What are we eating for breakfast/lunch/dinner?”

3. Most of my boys wake up ready to eat my leg if I don’t have breakfast ready to offer them when they wake up. I need to know what I’m making for breakfast before I get out of bed. I like having two legs. It’s very handy.

So the question could still be then:  Why don’t I just feed my family cereal for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch each day, and then focus on our evening meal plan?

Well…I do feed them cereal and sandwiches every once in a while. But wow, the cost of feeding us this type of meal really adds up for us. I did the math one time on how much it costs to feed my family sandwiches. You can read about that here, but add even more to that dollar amount because we now eat probably double what I added up for a meal since my boys are older. (Did I mention that my oldest son has jumped several shoe sizes during the last year?)  Therefore, I find that it really saves our family a lot of money if I cook heartier, more nutrition packed meals if possible.

Some tricks I use to make putting three big meals on the table each day just a little bit easier:

~ Just about every meal I make for my family is simple – especially our breakfast and lunchtime meals. I really don’t find that making a “bigger” lunch for the family takes a whole lot more time than making a bunch of sandwiches.

~ Sometimes we have leftovers to eat, so I don’t have to cook something new. But I don’t always know when we’ll have them, so it’s hard for me to plan those into my menus.

~ I try to have food made and in the freezer to pull out for quick lunches.

~ I have a list of “back up meals” and all ingredients on hand to throw them together if needed.

~ While I do have a detailed menu plan, I switch it up all over the place throughout the week depending on what’s going on and what sounds good. The plan is there, but it is flexible.

~ I give myself grace. If I really just can’t get a good meal on the table, the cereal is in the background waiting to be pulled out.

For a little bit more information on this subject, sure to read my Cooking Healthy Meals When the Menu Plan Fails post. Also, you’ll find a free downloadable page full of healthy, easy lunch ideas here.

Okay everyone. Jump in here with your ideas and thoughts about making menu planning simpler. What do you do about planning breakfast and lunchtime meals?

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