emotions Archives | Heavenly Homemakers

I’d like to think I’m exaggerating when I use the term “going crazy” but I’m not convinced and I doubt my family is either.

Just a few days ago I was screaming at my computer because it wouldn’t send my document to the printer so I was like, “What is wrong with you!? You were working fine two hours ago! Just print already so I can go to bed!”

Can’t you just visualize the sweetness?

My youngest came running and offered, “Is there anything I can do for you, Mom?” Precious, isn’t he? Sure. But then he started playing the piano very loudly right behind me so that I could no longer concentrate on troubleshooting my printer issues. This did wonders for my stress level and it helped even more when Matt chose that exact moment to holler a question about our income taxes from the other room.

Crazy?! Nah. Only a little bit.

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This was taken many years ago when I was jumping on the trampoline
with our boys. This shows a different variety of crazy, one that involves a bladder,
and I guess that’s all I need to say about that.

I’ve shared recently about my emotional and spiritual health struggles. God has been so faithful to gently walk me through some dark valleys and to provide peace I never knew existed. Our Creator is mighty, His forgiveness is abundant, and I suppose the fact that I’d always been such a “good girl” means that I’d never really recognized my great need for a Savior until I came face to face with my absolute weaknesses.

So here I am and here He is. It’s really quite beautiful, experiencing his strength shining through my weakness.

Jesus is my drug of choice. The Bible has become what I cling to over all else, because I’ve learned absolutely that SELF is not able to cut it.

life1

There are days I don’t have time to pull away from all my responsibilities to spend any real time with my Bible, and boy do I feel the void. (Not the guilt though – praise God! I spend time with God in the Word now because I want and need to – not because “that’s what good Christians do.” What a refreshing change of mindset.)

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My perfect choice, if I get to choose, is to sit for over an hour every morning sipping coffee, journaling, praying, listening, and soaking in several chapters of Scripture. Sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn’t.

But even if it does happen, what about the other 23 hours in a day? I find it easy to be at peace and full of conviction to live through the Spirit when I’m sitting in the quiet with my Bible – without any people needing me or printers ignoring my requests to please just print the document.

But start throwing all of the day’s stuff at me and I am faced quite humbly with my human side.

My solution? My plan-of-action against falling back on selfish living throughout the day?

What Helps Me Embrace Peace (aka stay away from crazy)

1. Prayer.

Sure, that’s an obvious Christian answer. But it is a fact that it’s not just “an answer” it is the answer. Talking to God throughout the day, whispering “I need you” and “thank you” and “you are so good to me” and “guide me with this” and “please give me the right words” and “I love how you worked that out” and “thank you for providing that for us” and on it goes all day long. It works.

I talk to God a lot. I ask for the Spirit’s guidance. I forget. Then I remember. Then I get wrapped up in my own thoughts and get all wishy-washy. Then I come back to a surrendered place and let go of control. I’m back and forth, living a life full of demands. God is there constantly, faithfully, grace-filled.

2. I’ve been slapping Scripture all over my walls.

By “slapping” I mean “carefully placing” of course, because there are nails and a hammer involved with this process. I’ve been learning that surrounding myself with scripture that is front and center, all around me, is a great way to stay focused on Truth and to remain at peace.

I fell in love with these prints and ordered them, putting the three top ones in my bright living room and the bottom three in our bedroom. They match each room perfectly. I love them so much I can’t stop staring at them. This is perfect though, because staring at scripture all day long, even while doing mundane chores, is a fantastic to keep me focused on Truth which helps to avoid unhealthy thought patterns.

living room pics2

3. I’m selective about how I spend my downtime.

Some evenings we actually have this thing called “free time.” I’ve been playing a lot of Skip-Bo with Malachi or sometimes we’re able to play a game with the whole family. We like slowly working our way through Netflix series, watching an episode all together right before we head up to bed.

I just have to be careful what I watch, as in, shows like CSI and Criminal Minds are out for me. Currently, our family is working through Person of Interest (which actually is a bit violent, but not gory or emotional, so I can laugh with my family about how unrealistic it all is while still having a fun story line).

4. I journal and color.

I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but for me, journaling has been a wonderful way for me to process and pray, and even learn new Truths from God. (By the way, ain’t no one except God gonna ever read my journals. They. Are. Messy.)

I learned a few months ago that coloring is loads of fun, completely relaxing, and even great for meditating. Coloring clears my head and helps me focus on pure thoughts that bring peace. I had no idea coloring could be so great.

So prayer, posting scripture, being selective about what I read and watch, journaling, and coloring – these, along with spending quiet time in the Word – have been keeping me on solid ground.

I’d love to hear what helps you stay grounded each day. What have you found that helps you most to avoid worry and to keep you focused on God’s Truth?

Something you might be interested in:

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If you haven’t already, you may want to go back and read Raw, Guilt , Beginning, Anxiety, Seek, Stop, and Pride before reading this post.

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Pride. Fear. Anxiety. Panic. Worry.

I knew I had to let these go. So I kept trying and trying and working so hard to let them go. I prayed and I pounded my fists. I fasted and I cried. I shouted, “I don’t want these sins anymore! I’m tired of being ruled by all of this ugliness!”

Ironically, all the work I’ve put into letting go of pride, fear, and anxiety through the years has left me a bit more prideful (look at what I’ve conquered!), more fearful (but what if it comes back?), and more anxious (I’m still not sure I’m doing this right.). Why? Because I was trying to do the work myself. I wanted to be better for Christ. So I worked and I fought and I struggled and I worked harder to be a better Christian. I would think: I’ve got this! I’m going to follow that advice I just heard. I’m going to go by the suggestions in that book. I’m going to just buckle down and work harder. I can do this!

The more I fought, the more difficult my battles became. The more steeped in sin I sunk. The more exhausted and defeated I felt. So frequently I would think, “Why can’t I just stop being so freaked out all the time? Why can’t I just relax? Why? Why? What am I doing wrong?”

The answer came when I finally shut-up. When I finally waved the white flag to the One who has already won the battle for me and was begging for me to be still and sit calmly in his pool of peace.

Surrender. Oh, sweet surrender. Such a simple, easy answer. Such a basic and quiet act. The very work I had been laboring over had already been done for me. All that was left was for me to stop, breathe, and recognize that I needed to surrender my self to my Savior.

Surrender.

All of this, Lord. I give it to you. All of my yuck. All of my fear. All that threatens to control me and pull me into my self-seeking ways. The only work required, the only action I must take, is the simple task of surrender.

Let go. I had to recognize that my own strength and desire, hard work and determination would not achieve the peace I was looking for.

Peace can only come through surrender.

Lay it down. Give it up.

It is so hard to let go of control. And yet I have found that by trying to hold on to control – I become crazily out of control. While working so hard to be and to do, I accomplish very little.

Surrender.

It has become a theme for me, a newly found word, a beautiful recognition of what God asks of me. Surrender.

God promises, “Let me heal you. Let me make you into what I am calling you to be. Let me. Let me. I’ve got you.”

Peace. Comfort. Joy. The beautiful blessings that follow surrender.

Upon recognizing this and experiencing the peace that came once I surrendered my sins and my self to Jesus, was the battle now over for me? In some ways, yes. But in other ways, my real fight was just beginning.

Continue reading: Peace