If you haven’t already, you may want to go back and read Raw, Guilt , Beginning, Anxiety, Seek, and Stop before reading this post.
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Pride
Let’s call a spade a spade. I am long overdue to own my sin of pride. That is, after all, what my “need to please” is. It’s pride. I care too much about what people think. I want people to be happy with me. My focus has been on self.
Much of this hasn’t been intentional, so if I wanted, I could (proudly) give myself the out on this one and say that I didn’t mean to do it. I have been trying to lead a Godly life and to glorify Him. I’ve been working my tail off to do this, if you want to know the truth. I’ve sacrificed much to please God – so that He and others will be happy with me.
Pride.
I would also like to blame this issue on my parents, the church, my personality, and the pressure of expectations I found myself under. But in short, that’s just stupid. And it is the opposite of humility.
Pride.
I need to admit to you right at this moment as I am typing this, I am being attacked by the sin of pride. Might some of you think I am great because I’ve shared this? Yes! You’ll be thinking, wow this is so well written. Laura, you’re so great! (Pride.) Or on the other hand, some of you might be completely unimpressed with what I’ve written so suddenly I begin to worry that you won’t think this article is good enough. This is also pride, cleverly disguised as humility. It is me thinking of self. Caring what you think in the midst of my raw confession.
Pride has been a part of me since before I can remember. Yes, I know, it’s a sin that grabs many of us. I’ve been aware of this fight for quite some time. But I was too proud to share, and much too afraid to let it go.
Laura: Stop worrying about what people think. If God puts something on your heart, share it. Do it. In the name of Jesus. If it blesses others, God be praised. The end.
I am finding that much of what I do is with a heart of pride lurking in the background. Here’s what God is teaching me: I don’t have to necessarily change what I do (except for the parts I do need to change.) I just need to change how I do them. The reasons I do them. The heart behind them.
Let go of pride.
To let go of a sin is painful. Somehow, it has become a part of us, so tearing it away is like ripping off a scar that has been a part of our skin for a few decades. It hurts and it’s not fun. In fact, often it seems easier and less painful to just let the sin continue to be a part of us so that we don’t have to go through the work of letting it go.
Letting it go.
The irony of letting go of my pride is that I’ve been a little too proud to do that.
But the longer I’ve held on to it, the more tightly I squeeze the fingers of wanting to please people so that they will be happy with me, the more anxious I have become.
It is time to surrender.
Give it up. The only One I need to please is God. And the way to please God is through humility, kindness, and wholehearted love. Relying on His power, experiencing His goodness, experiencing the riches that come into our lives by being a part of His Kingdom purposes.
Only when I am on my knees in true humility can I be lifted up to experience the power of God at work in my life.
So glad I subscribed to your blog a couple of years ago – as a bookmark for how to can tomatoes :)
God be praised! It takes some pride away from me to see God working so wonderfully in not only my life, but your life and countless others. I have been blessed by this–such good reminders to me. For a long time I have struggled with sin such as pride. It will not go until it is replaced. Replacing pride in my mindset with letting go and love takes work and time. But so worth it to not live the crazy anxious life! So glad you are sharing Laura! Thank you Jesus for the grace You are pouring out on us.
I think we all struggle with pride. I have never been a people pleaser. I felt if they didn’t like me they had poor taste in people. The real problem is that once you defeat pride, you are really proud of your accomplishment. This is normal, don’t beat yourself up over it. Just concentrate on pleasing the Lord and forget your opinion or your worth and everyone else’s too. Easier said than done. Still working on it and my kids are older than you are.
God bless you for your raw honesty and compelling words. Still working on it too.
AMAZING!!! I truly FEEl your pain. Thanks for posting and encouraging me that I’m not alone in the fight against pride.
Preaching to the choir here…Thanks for this series. Why is it so painful to let it go? I’ve been in a trial for way to long now and finally in the past month learning where I’ve sinned along the way, and it’s been way more than I would have thought but the Holy Spirit is helping to convict me. Shouldn’t this part be easy, the conviction? It’s not, it hurts but I beg for it because I’m ready to move on, ready to be refined as gold and get through this trial made better. But, for now it hurts and I’m surprised by that. I need it, but acknowledging and confessing my sin HURTS. Thanks.
Amen! I have been a people pleaser and it brings the opposite of blessings into our lives. Curses, if you will. I try to change because I know it saps my peace which is from God. Thank you again for sharing, Laura.
Oh girl… can I ever relate! Your rawness lately has poked me harder than I’ve liked. Why? Because it’s made me realize that I have become a people pleaser too – to my husband (trying to be this a-ma-zing wife he can brag about), to my 5 children (wanting them to see me as a cool mom when most of their friends don’t have good relationships -if any- with their own), to my friends (because they already think I’m “super mom” for homeschooling, expecting baby #6, grinding my own grain, etc)… And the IRONIC thing is that for most of my life, I really struggled with INSECURITY. So so SO insecure about everything about me. Like it was a true stronghold. And God completely healed me of it a couple of years ago. But guess what! I’ve learned that it is a form of pride (gasp). So although I don’t struggle with feeling insecure, now it’s turned into me striving to be a “people pleaser”… and all along, I’m still struggling with pride. So thank you for being a part of my own POKING process. Thanks for hurting me ;) Thank you for being honest about your own struggles. I do believe that is part of the road to humilty… A great read, that I’m slowly plowing thru, is the book HUMILTY by Andrew Murray. Talk about poking & conviction…
Wow! This just smacked me between the eyes, now I have some more thinking to do. I struggle a lot with what people think of me and that consequently comes across as a desire to please them. I have recently been working on making specific priorities in my life, so when people ask me to help them, I can weigh that against my priorities and make an informed decision about whether I can add another responsibility to my plate or not. Thank you so much for your thoughts.
Thanks for sharing Laura. I have been going through some similar things and it is encouraging to remember that I’m not alone as I let go of the lies and receive all the goodnes our Father has to give us (easier said than done sometimes).
I have the same problem. I’m working on it. God has a way of letting me know. Yes I sacrifice for my family. I’m a stay at home mom, homeschool my youngest, cook for the church, make all food from scratch…Do you hear those angels singing?…Oh yeah…supposed to be doing this for God’s Glory not my own.
Love this, thanks for being so open:)
Surrender is the opportunity to be still and know Him as He truly is. When we truly know Him, we know the truth and you know that the truth sets you free.
Dear Laura,
Thank you so much for sharing this with us as God leads. So much of this journey is all too familiar. If you have not already, “Grace for the Good Girl” may be such a timely read (if you enjoy reading and have any bandwidth to do it these days). Chapter after chapter spoke to these heart issues (that i was mostly unaware of). i still feel very much in the process and don’t really even know what the end result will look like. Until i get there, Galatians 6:12-15 is where i keep coming back…12 Those who want to make a good impression outwardly are trying to compel you to be circumcised (or do really cool Godly ‘good girl’ stuff). The only reason they do this is to avoid being persecuted for the cross of Christ. (b/c who are we if we’re not outwardly DOING all of the right stuff?) 13 Not even those who are circumcised obey the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your flesh. 14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. 15 Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation. Amen.
Laura, my name is also Laura and I just wanted to say thanks for this today. I really needed to read it, and you were not the only Laura being called out in the middle of your post. (I also struggle with the desire to please others, sometimes with a prideful heart as motive.) You are a blessing to many, keep being “for real” and transparent.
Another “Laura”
“I don’t have to necessarily change what I do (except for the parts I do need to change.) I just need to change how I do them. The reasons I do them. The heart behind them.”
This really spoke to me and made me realize why I still struggle so much with this issue. It’s not about *what* I do, it’s about *why* I do it. So very powerful. Keep writing my friend, your words are a blessing to many.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. Praise the Lord!