If you haven’t already, you may want to go back and read Raw, Guilt , Beginning, Anxiety, Seek, Stop, Pride, Surrender, and Peace before reading this post.
Because of God’s power and healing, He was working in my heart and in my life to show me the beauty of calm. I was finally able to experience the joy of working on my chores throughout the day without the constant internal freak-out. Yes, I was able to enjoy more of His blessed peace. It was rockin’. I noticed His healing in so many areas and I rejoiced as my heart responded to life in ways it never had.
And yet, in so many ways, I was thoroughly confused. For all my years, I’ve enjoyed serving others, being a part of people’s lives, and participating in ministries. As I searched, surrendered, and allowed God to teach me more about who He wanted me to become – I found myself continuing to fight against my old self.
I kept feeling like I needed to give and to serve and to be this for her and to be that for him. Along with all the exhaustion that had come from fighting this long, hard spiritual battle – trying to keep up with all that I believed I needed to do and to be for others was creeping in on me and threatening to suffocate me.
One night, I reached a breaking point. What was I supposed to do now? There are needs everywhere that I can’t meet. I’m tired. I’m weak. I’m confused. I’m frustrated. I’m…I’m…
Empty.
In desperation I cried out to God, “My cup is empty, Lord. How am I supposed to serve others when I have nothing left to give? I’m worn out. I’m completely dry. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what service to you is supposed to look like. If you tipped me upside down, there would be not one little drop left to spill out. How am I supposed to give when I have nothing in me to give?”
I took a deep breath. I surrendered my weakness and confusion to God. And I waited.
Soon after that night, I shared this specific battle with a trusted friend. I shared with her the image of my empty cup – how I was dry, with nothing left to give. She spoke these simple truths to me:
“Laura, you have the Holy Spirit living in you. Because of that, you are never empty. Your cup overflows! If you feel empty, it’s because you’re giving from the wrong cup.”
The wrong cup. The empty cup. The cup of self. The cup that demanded praise from others. The cup that delighted in affirmation and appreciation for my works. The cup that was self-seeking and fruitless. I was trying to learn how to be the new me, all while hanging on to the painful parts of the old me. No wonder I felt so tired and confused.
My further studying led me to drink in (literally) John 7:37-39: “Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.’ By this, He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive…”
I’ve read these verses over and over since that time. The words share two very important truths:
1. If anyone has a need, it is not up to me to fix, change, heal, or rescue. I am to point people to Jesus. He is the one who can quench their thirst.
2. We who believe in Jesus have a continual stream of living water flowing from within us. We are never empty – always full and overflowing. This life source is not from ourselves. It could never be from our selves. This life source is from the Father, filling us because of the Holy Spirit that is a part of us.
Accepting these truths gave me great new hope – hope that spilled out of me and had nothing to do with what I did, how good I was, how much I did, or what others thought. It was Jesus – living in me and working through me.
Did this mean that I could now sit back and not serve or love on people? Of course not. God calls us to serve!! But I must take the self out of my service. I must surrender and allow the Spirit to guide my actions, listening to His leading instead of my self.
You’re story is truly inspirational can’t wait to hear more
These posts are really speaking to me, thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you. I woke up this morning feeling absolutely weary at the thought of another day as a stay at home mom to two young children and, yet again, questioning my purpose. I so needed that encouragement.
What a wise, wise friend the Lord has given you. You are truly blessed in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
Laura, you are not alone. I have felt this way as well. Then realizing that I cannot fix the world, or even the family member and friends around me. It is not my job to heal them, but like you said, to point them to Jesus. There are also seasons in life, there’s a time to rest in Him, and there’s a time to work fervently for Him. There must be a balance, otherwise, we will not be able to fulfill His purposes/plans. Praying blessings over you this morning.
I love this! Thanks so much for sharing! I really appreciate your friend’s words of wisdom. It is easy to feel overwhelmed with a 3-year-old and a a one-year-old, but God is so faithful and he gives me what I need!
I want to thank you for the words that are flowing from your full cup! I have related particularly to your segments on Pride and Empty, although I have found words that remind and/or enlighten me in the other segments. I’m looking forward to the next message God sends through you.
May every one of your days be more blessed than the previous ones
Thank you for sharing your struggle. This morning as I read your words I literally felt the tension falling from my shoulders. I hadn’t realized I was so full of tightness in my daily life. I fully relate to what you have been writing and today’s post finally hit home. Thank you again!
Thank you SO much for sharing your struggles and story. I am finding that in my own struggle I can learn from you and how to listen to God more. How I need to give from my other cup. I realize now that my struggles and what has been going on inside of me is something that will take time for God to help me let go of but it will happen and I have to be still and listen and breathe to hear what God is trying to help me with. Thank you so much for this site and these words. Thank you God for putting me here on this page where I needed to be when I needed it.
Thank you for sharing your story. As a busy mom of very involved teenagers, as a mom who is a small business owner and a full-time employee, as a mom who is a volunteer at church and at school… I feel very overwhelmed with my responsibilities and many times have the same feeling you described: the cup has run dry. Thank you for your story. You’ve given me a new way to look at things! My cup is full!
Thank you for sharing the words of wisdom from your friend. I just said to a friend the other day that I have a colander instead of a cup and everything just runs straight through. This is the perspective change I needed today!
Dear Laura. I have a little card at my kitchen window that says, “What fills your cup today, Who fills your cup today.” I understand you journey well. Today I struggle BUT I know that I can immediately go to God’s well and He will fill and lift me. Thank you for another good post.
Amazing. I have been so empty this last year after a loss and health problems. I have been grasping at straws. What your friend said really spoke to me. I must turn my eyes to Jesus, for He is the only way to become full. Awesome.
Thank you again for this series. I understand completely and sometimes we need to empty self before being filled anew.
Thank you again for sharing your journey. It is so timely for me. I’ve been struggling with all my different roles: wife, mother, employee, daughter, friend, bookkeeper, housekeeper, cook, etc, etc. It is draining and overwhelming. Thank you for pointing me back to the Truth.
So, so, so good—I LOVE the idea of us being filled with flowing water and when we feel empty it’s because we are using the wrong cup!! It applies so much to my own struggles right now…it’s almost as if this was on here for ME to read right now. Thanks for sharing!
Laura, this was the reminder that I needed. The Lord sent Paul a teaching job at a private high school in Austin, so we moved the first of September. I now have Nathan full time until we can find something for him. So I needed the reminder that it is God who gives me the strength to give each day.
I hadn’t heard that you moved. Praying God’s strength for you and that He will soon send the perfect help for Nathan. Love you all!
Channels Only
How I praise Thee, precious Savior,
That Thy love laid hold of me;
Thou hast saved and cleansed and filled me
That I might Thy channel be.
Channels only, blessèd Master,
But with all Thy wondrous power
Flowing through us, Thou canst use us
Every day and every hour.
Emptied that Thou shouldest fill me,
A clean vessel in Thy hand;
With no power but as Thou givest
Graciously with each command.
Witnessing Thy power to save me,
Setting free from self and sin;
Thou hast bought me to possess me,
In Thy fullness, Lord, come in.
Totally fantastic. Thank you!
Thanks for this..perfect timing! I have been struggling with the PRIDE and trying to please others for my Self.