Heavenly Homemakers

Encouraging women in homemaking, healthy eating and parenting

Chatting With Lisa Whelchel about “Friendship for Grown-ups” + a Giveaway!!

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This post wraps up my interview time with Lisa. If you missed them, be sure to catch the rest of the interview posts:

Here is the final question I asked…

Me:

I’ve been reading your newest book, Friendship for Grown-ups. I’ve really enjoyed how you’ve opened up and shared your story and your struggles with being real and honest about your feelings and needs with your friends.

Why do you think women are so afraid to be real and open and vulnerable with other women about their struggles and sins?

Lisa:

We feel like we’re supposed to be perfect like Jesus. We act like everything is fine because we think it’s the right thing to do. We feel like we’re letting God down if we admit failure. But when we do this, we miss out on connection and grace. Are we trying to earn salvation through works, or are we accepting that we are sinners who need grace?

Laura’s follow-up thoughts…and also, let me tell you about Lisa’s new book…and also, maybe you could even win a copy! ;)

whelchel 

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Lisa Whelchel’s latest book, Friendship for Grown-ups! I anticipated that it would be a book to encourage moms to maintain great friendships as we raise our kids. Yeah, I was wrong. It really didn’t have anything to do with maintaining my friendships while I’m raising my kids. This book really is about what true and godly friendship is all about, no matter what season you are in your life.

Friendship for Grown-ups is about breaking down walls. It’s about being real. It’s about setting boundaries. It’s about being a friend and accepting friendship. It’s about being open and honest.

Oh my, is it ever about being honest. Being honest with yourself, and being honest with the people God puts in your life to love on you. Lisa shares some of her biggest struggles through her years as a child star and how that shaped who she became as an adult. Through the years, Lisa built some gignormous walls that were ever so hard to break down. But she…

Wait a second.  I think I’m saying too much. I think I should stop and just really, really recommend that you read Friendship for Grown-ups. 

As Lisa shares her story in her latest book, you’ll find that you get to know her on a much more personal level. While reading this book, I felt like Lisa became my friend, even as she taught me what godly friendship should be about. That happens when someone opens up and shares from the deep, painful places in her heart. That’s exactly what Lisa did. You will be blessed by reading her story and by hearing how God worked in her life and gently led her into whole and healthy friendships.

I just so happen to have five copies of Friendship for Grown-ups to share!! (Well, I actually have six copies but one of them is mine and I’m keeping it to re-read another few times during the next few years!!)

If you are interested in winning one of the five copies of Friendship for Grown-ups, by Lisa Whelchel…please leave a comment at the end of this post! Receive extra chances to win by subscribing to my blog, or tweeting/blogging/facebooking about this giveaway, or by becoming a fan of Heavenly Homemakers on facebook. Leave a separate comment for each entry!

I’ll draw five random winners on Monday!

I’d like to give a big thank you to Thomas Nelson Publishing for this great opportunity to read Friendship for Grown-Ups, visit with Lisa on the phone and share more of her books with my readers!!

This giveaway is now closed…thanks!

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Announcing Heavenly Homemakers Affiliate Program!

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There’s been more hard work going on around here (is this really called summer break?!) and we’re so excited to tell you about the new Heavenly Homemakers Affiliate Program!!

So, are ya interested in earning a little extra money? We thought maybe you wouldn’t mind. :)  A little extra money never hurt anybody’s feelings and we are hoping that the new Heavenly Homemakers Affiliate Program will be a blessing to many of you! We’ve worked hard to make this program simple to use and open to everyone, whether you have a blog or not!

Here’s the short story of how it works:

You tell your friends, family, blog readers, facebook friends, etc. about all (or some) of the products in the Heavenly Homemaker’s Shop and when they purchase something using your unique link…you earn 33% of the sale!! For instance, if you promote our new Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve Preschool Curriculum Kit and someone buys it because of you…you make a quick $15! Not bad at all…and every little bit adds up, right?! Yes, I can think of several things I could do with $15 extra dollars. And if you sell more than one of the kits, plus a few ebooks…well, it all adds up to a nice little monthly bonus!

become_a_heavenlyhomemakers_affiliate

 

If you have a blog or website, it may be easier for you to promote our products and earn…BUT even if you don’t…you can still be a part of this program. You can tell your friends on facebook and encourage them to check out our products. You can tell people about the products, then email them your link for them to purchase through. Don’t spam anybody, but do feel free to use your online resources to promote our products and earn a little extra cash!

If you’re interested in learning more about the Heavenly Homemaker’s Affiliate Program and signing up to partner up with us, you’ll need to kindly agree to this agreement, then follow the links to sign up! To learn more about the program, you can read through the Heavenly Homemaker’s Affiliate FAQs. This page explains the entire process with simple, step-by-step instructions. There is even a lovely page full of banners and buttons for you to use as you promote the products in our shop! Beyond that, if you have any more questions, please email Charlene, my incredible, lovely and oh so helpful HHM Affiliate Manager at  hhmaffiliates at gmail.com.

We can’t wait to have you join us in this program!!! Sign up…be blessed! 

And can I just say thanks? It’s because all of you are so wonderful that makes beginning this affiliate program so exciting for us. Hugs all around.
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This post is linked to Works for me Wednesday.

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Gratituesday: Changed

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gratituesday

It was the longest I’d ever been apart from one of my children. 

Asa just got home after being away church camp for two entire weeks. Two weeks is a long time. I felt like my right arm was missing. I was so, so happy for him to be at camp, but I missed him so much at times I could hardly breathe.

Can you tell that he is my firstborn? The one who has to “break me in” to new things? This must be part of the loosening the grip thing, huh?

After he’d been gone for 13 days and the time was coming for us to pick him up soon, I emailed my friend to say, “Will it embarrass him too much if I hug him for a solid five minutes and smell his hair and cry when we pick him up at camp tomorrow?” (I was kidding, I think.) 

And then I shared my fear. My fear that his being away and working toward independence during these past two weeks would have changed everything. That he would come home and nothing would ever be the same again.

I don’t know why I was afraid. But I was. Change is never easy. I don’t like change.

Asa did come home changed. His eyes are different. His smile is different. It was as if we had dropped off a boy and two weeks later, we picked up a young man.

With tears in his eyes, he told us how being at camp had changed him. How spending one on one time with God each morning had helped him to grow spiritually. How he’d taken part in leading songs around the camp fire. How he’d led the entire group of campers in a devotional one morning. 

For the record, he did let me hug him in front of his friends at camp when we arrived. Twice. He didn’t seem to mind. (I did, however, refrain from sobbing into his hair, in case you were wondering.)

My boy is growing up. And I like it. 

Maybe change isn’t always so bad.

What are you thankful for this Gratituesday? Write about it on your blog, then come link up with us here. If you don’t have a blog, be sure to leave a comment letting us know what you’re grateful for!

If you are linking up a blog post for Gratituesday,
please copy and paste the following sentence into your post! Thanks!

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

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Homeschool Hubbub: Our Five Year Old

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I thought I’d take a little time to share with you some of the things we’re doing for school this year with each of our boys. We’re working hard around here, gearing up for a new school year. I figure I need to organize my thoughts and plans anyway…I may as well type them out here and bore you with all the details. Or excite you with the possibilities. Or a little bit of both. ;)

I’ll start with Malachi, our littlest guy who will officially begin kindergarten this year. Of all my boys, he’s the one I’ve done the least “formal schooling” with because there simply hasn’t been time. (Or I haven’t made the time.)  Want to know a little secret? It doesn’t matter. He does not appear to be suffering any damage from the fact that I was rarely able to sit down and talk about colors and shapes with him. He has somehow learned many of these lessons with or without me as he’s hung out with his brothers while they were learning.

malachi_cowboy_costume

And yet, I feel that it is important for me to begin to work with Malachi one-on-one for a little bit each day now that he is showing interest in learning to read and do math. In fact, he began to show so much interest in reading early in the summer that I pulled out my very favorite book and started teaching him to read!! Three cheers for getting a head start on the school year with Malachi!! We’ve started going through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and Malachi is SO eager and doing SO well, that we’re already on Lesson 48! I’m so thankful that reading seems to be coming easily for him….and can I just give a big shout out for Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons?! 

read

This is the book I’ve used to teach all four of my boys to read and I just LOVE it. It doesn’t work for everyone, but somehow it has worked for all of our children. It’s simple, the lessons take just a few minutes to work through, and they are so easy for the parent to guide the child toward reading. The child usually sees success within the first few lessons as they learn to put simple words together. Confidence grows because suddenly they have figured out how to put letter sounds together to make a word!! Oooh, I love those light bulb moments! 

Once we work our way through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, I’ll pull out our collection of Bob Books for him to work through.

For math, I’m going to try going through the first Miquon Math book with him. I’ve loved the Miquon Math books for the early grades, simply because they teach math in a way that makes sense. It may appear to be a little bit backward compared to they way we normally see math taught…but it helps the child understand the concepts. I love it.

Beyond reading and math…I’ll be reading some great read-alouds to Malachi and doing some phonics lessons using Explode the Code books.

AND…we’re very excited because we’ll be using Learn Your Letters, Learn to Serve with Malachi (and the whole family) as we pick someone to serve each week, working our way through the alphabet. I’ll be buying Malachi a little notebook so that we can journal about who we serve and what we did. We’ll also be working through the memory verses in the kit and doing various other activities mentioned. I’m so excited to revisit this, since the last time we did something this thorough with our alphabet service was when Justus was three. Justus is ten now. Wow. :)

That about wraps up Malachi’s school year plans. Stay tuned to hear what Elias, Justus and Asa will be working on. And while I’m at it, I may as well “type out loud” as I figure out a schedule for this year. Because somehow, we will get it all done. Or not. Or whatever. ;)

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Chatting With Lisa Whelchel (about marriage)

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I’ve read Lisa’s ideas about parenting…I’ve read her thoughts on friendship…but I’ve never read her insights on marriage. And so I asked…

Me:

I’m currently writing a series on my blog encouraging wives in their journey as a help meet to their husbands. What is something practical you’ve done to help your husband be a better father, husband, man of God?

Lisa:

Well, can I share something with you that I wish I would have done better and understood earlier? 

It’s about balance. I’d read all the books about being a great help meet and I implemented all the right things. But somehow as I was offering all that I thought a good wife should be…I stopped offering myself.

If we change ourselves too much to be their help meet, we can make it too easy for our husbands and they can’t grow. We have to be honest – that’s what being a good help meet is.

Laura’s follow-up thoughts:

Eek, my notes as I scrawled frantically during my interview with Lisa were beginning to look rather scary at this point. I was trying so hard to listen well and write at the same time, but your guess is as good as mine about what I meant when I wrote, “use uhs as a good opp”. Huh? If you recall, this entire interview took place in fifteen minutes time. There was not time for neat penmanship.

Anyway, what I THINK Lisa was wisely saying to us is that being a good help meet doesn’t mean that we’re to just completely give up on what we need and desire in our marriage, just to make our husbands happy. We have to be honest and tell our husbands what we need, otherwise they can’t grow into the husband God desires them to be. 

I think that there are wonderful “be a better help meet” books out there, but I do often feel overwhelmed and inadequate after reading them. That’s part of the reason I started writing my own series about becoming a better help meet…to try to be real and practical…hopefully, sort of. 

So yes, being a good wife doesn’t mean that I should give up on who I am so that my  husband’s world will happily and smoothly go around. It does mean that I sometimes give up what I want. It does mean that I put his needs before my own. It does mean that I love him with all my heart and work very hard to meet his needs.

But meeting his needs may mean that I challenge him to improve his life and to work to better meet my needs. I’m only truly being his help meet if I am helping him become a better man of God.

I think this help meet thing calls for a lot of prayers for wisdom.

What do you think?

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Menu Plan for the Week

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Everything around me is starting to look like a green bean. Or a giganitic zucchini. This is such an exciting time of year!! I have 27 quarts of beans put up in the freezer already with plenty more ready to pick. Oh, and our corn is almost ready to eat!! Somebody hand me a stick of butter and a salt shaker.

Here’s our menu for the week, in which we add a few main dishes to our awesome fresh vegetables and fruits:

Sunday, July 18
Chocolate chip muffins, pears
Lamb roast, corn on the cob, cantaloupe
Cheeseburger zucchini boats, watermelon

Monday, July 19
Crepes with jelly
Hamburger patties, hashbrowns, green beans
BBQ brisket, cheesy mashed potatoes, tossed salad

Tuesday, July 20
Mini breakfast pizza, peaches
Black bean salsa with chips, applesauce, carrots
Fruit-kefir smoothies, soft pretzels, scrambled eggs

Wednesday, July 21
Simple soaked pancakes, blueberries
Salmon patties, strawberry peach slushies
Crock-pot chicken, carrots, green beans

Thursday, July 22
Creamy orange cooler, toast
Black bean taco salad, cherries
Chicken and rice, peas

Friday, July 23
Strawberry shortcake, fresh whipped cream
Turkey sausage, creamy mac and cheese, sauted zucchini
Lamb chops, baked potatoes, green beans

Saturday, July 24
Whole wheat donuts
Leftovers
Fried chicken legs, mashed potatoes and gravy, asparagus

Snacks to make and have on hand:

Just so ya know, we are busily working on something new for the site that we are hoping YOU will greatly enjoy. Be watching for a fun announcement in the next few days just as soon as we finish up all the details!!!
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Visit Organizing Junkie for more menu planning inspiration!

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Chatting With Lisa Whelchel (about raising teenagers)

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Yesterday I shared what Lisa Whelchel had to say about raising little ones. Her kids are all grown up now (her youngest just graduated), and because I really wanted to know for my own sake (and for yours too of course), I decided to ask her about raising teens.

Me:

Our oldest son just became a teenager. We’re enjoying this “new season of life” as we learn to raise a teen and also feel like we have no idea what we’re doing (much like we didn’t have any idea what we were doing when we started raising babies!). You had three teenagers all at once. What were some of the joys and challenges you faced as you raised your teens, and what advice might you give to parents on this journey?

Lisa:

As your kids become teenagers, you really have to start loosening the grip you have…you can’t control them like you did with they were seven and eight years old. It’s natural for them to try to separate themselves from you and experiment with life as they figure out who they are. 

This is hard because as a parent, you see the bigger picture and you want to protect them from heartache. But over-protecting can stifle what they are learning. You need to be open handed. You need to tell yourself, “I have been the parent, I have taught them well. Now I need to trust God to let them use what I’ve taught them as they grow into adulthood.”

Me: 

Tell me a little bit about your kids now that they are young adults. What are some of the great qualities you see in them – what do you love about your kids? 

Lisa:

I’ll start with my youngest, Clancy. I really just enjoy talking to her. We love to have coffee together in the mornings and just talk. She’s just wonderful and I just enjoy her so much.

Haven is my older daughter. I admire her so much. She is amazing at seeing the big picture. She plans margins in her life, which shows wisdom beyond her years. 

Tucker was the hardest to raise, yet he’s who I’ve learned the most from and I respect him so much. He’s honest about everything and not a pretender. I had a hard time with that as he was growing up because that could sometimes come across in him as “not being a good boy”. I’m glad I didn’t snuff that out of him. He’s creative…not a rule follower.

I love how although I am the parent, I am able to learn so much from my kids.

Laura’s (very few) follow-up thoughts (as I have only been the parent of a teenager for approximately 39 days):

I am really beginning to understand the idea of “loosening the grip” as I’m watching Asa naturally work his way toward more independence. Matt and I feel like our biggest job now is to walk alongside and guide him as he grows into adulthood. 

That, and pray for God to guide us as we walk a path we’ve never walked before. ;)

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Chatting With Lisa Whelchel (about raising little ones)

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I had the blessed opportunity to spend exactly 15 minutes on the phone with Lisa Whelchel on Thursday morning. It was an honor for me and here’s why:  Lisa’s book, Creative Correction, was life changing for me as a mama. 

I first read it when my kids were all little bitty guys. Reading Creative Correction helped me understand that my job was NOT to raise good kids just so that I could feel good about being a good mom. Somehow I hadn’t figured that out yet. I was very focused at that time on making sure my kids obeyed and acted the way they should (not a bad thing to focus on) BUT my motive was simply that I wanted to look good and not be embarrassed as a mother. Good kids meant I was a good mom, right?

creative

Creative Correction opened my eyes to the fact that my goal as I was raising my boys was to teach them about Jesus. To instill Godly behavior in them and a heart for Christ. To teach them scripture and a love for the Lord. It had nothing to do with ME at all. 

I was so grateful for the chance to tell Lisa “thank you” phone to phone. It was truly a delight.

Over the course of the next few days, I’ll be sharing parts of my conversation with Lisa. I appreciate all the great question ideas you sent my way and well…I have to apologize because while they were on my list…fifteen minutes goes very quickly and I barely had a chance to get through many questions at all. Hopefully you’ll all enjoy hearing what she had to say, even if it didn’t answer your specific question! Here’s the first question I asked Lisa…

Me:

“You had three babies in three years…many of my readers are in that season of life right now trying to juggle life with lots of little ones. What encouragement can you offer moms with little ones?”

Lisa:

“I’d say do as little as possible outside of being a mom. Don’t put your kids in a bunch of activities. Don’t be involved yourself in a lot of extra activities. You don’t need to try to lead a Bible study…don’t even go to a bunch of Bible studies if getting there takes too much out of you. There are so many good things to do, but you may need to give up even some of the good things you’re interested in doing so that you can do what you need to do for your family. Raising little ones takes a lot out of us and if we give a lot of our energy to outside things, we don’t have anything left for our family. This is a short season in life…later you can do more of the other things you feel are important, but right now raising your little ones is the most important. Spend time putting a bunch of meals in the freezer once a month so that all you have to do is heat something up for dinner and not spend time putting gourmet food on the table every night. Do everything you can to eliminate what is not necessary so that you can focus your energy on what is necessary.”

Laura’s follow-up thoughts:

I remember struggling to get out of the door by 9:30 for a Ladies’ Bible Study each Thursday morning when my boys were tiny (nursing, in diapers, potty training…). I don’t remember a thing about what we studied during those years. What I do remember is feeling like I wanted to CRY every single Thursday by the time I finally got there (late) and fought my kids to get into the nursery. Don’t even get me started on how much it wrecked their nap schedule and threw the entire day off and created a lot of grouchiness (the kids were usually grouchy too).

Why did I keep doing it week after week? Because it was “a good thing to do”. Because I felt like I should. Because I didn’t want to let the other ladies down. I don’t completely regret going…I formed some wonderful relationships with many of the older women from church. However, could I have cut myself some slack during those years? Could I have instead worked in some quiet Bible study at home by myself during their morning nap? Might I have saved my children from having a worn out, grumpy mom every Thursday afternoon and Friday morning (because I would then be behind on other things.)? Maybe so.

I think it’s good to look at the reasons we do what we’re doing, no matter what season in life we are in. What IS best for my family right now? What do I need to eliminate so that I can be the best wife and mom I can be? I’d love for you all to share your thoughts on this topic!

P.S. You know I agreed with Lisa’s statement about putting a bunch of food in the freezer for easy warm up!! :)

Coming up next:  Lisa talks about raising teenagers and having young adult children

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Becoming a Better Help Meet: Remind Yourself!

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help meet

Today I just want to share a simple little thing I do to remind myself all day that I think my husband is awesome!

This all came about rather innocently. I didn’t intentionally create this little exercise so that I could remind myself of how much I love Matt. It just happened, and then I realized how cool it was. It’s profound…are you ready?! 

I set one of my computer passwords (one that I use frequently) to say something great about Matt.  I was feeling giddy one day, and I needed to set a new password…and so just like I was in junior high writing “I LOVE MATT” on the side of my notebook between classes, I set my password to say it.

(“I LOVE MATT” isn’t the password, by the way. What, do you think I’d just tell all of you one of my passwords?)

(Or maybe it IS the password and I’m just telling you it isn’t just to throw you off.)

(Wow, I just forever keep you hopping, don’t I?)

But don’t you remember those feelings you felt back when you and your husband were dating and you couldn’t stop thinking about him and you wanted to carve your initials together into a tree? And tell all your friends about how great he was? And write his name on stuff?

Somehow life takes over and reality sets in and we as a couple become comfortable and not so giddy anymore. That’s mostly okay. We don’t really have time to sit around and sigh and daydream.

But having my password set to remind me all day long that I LOVE MATT (or something else, or not), has been so super neat. Like, totally.  (That would be me reverting back to junior high lingo.)

Typing in the words reminds me several times a day of how much I love my  husband. And in the middle of a very busy life full of activity and just…busyness…those reminders are a valuable treasure.

So, just a suggestion:  Set up a password or two to say something great about your relationship with your husband. You’ll appreciate the loving reminders!

LAURA AND MATT FOREVER XOXOXO

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You Can’t Drown A Bug

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Who knew that looking at a big ugly bug crawling around in the bottom of my kitchen sink would give me pause for reflection into my own life?

It was a bug. What was there to think about? Normally, I don’t have to think long when I see a bug of any kind. The question usually is as simple as, “Where is the nearest shoe?” Whereas snakes and birds may have me running the other way…bugs don’t tend to scare me very much. They’re creepy and they get on my nerves, but squishing a bug doesn’t usually faze me. Well, except for the crunch. Ick. I’m not a big fan of the crunch. 

Anyway, there it was scratching its eight or twelve or thirty little bug legs (I didn’t stop to count), trying with all of its might to find a way out of the bottom of my slippery, wet sink. While the question may have normally been, “Where is the nearest shoe?” I wasn’t too keen on taking off my flip-flop and putting it into the bottom of the sink to squish the bug. 

Therefore, I resorted to Plan B, which of course in the case of an ugly bug in the sink means:  Run Water Over the Bug. 

If you’ve ever run water over a bug, you will learn that a bug is quite unusually determined. It will put all of its eight or twelve or thirty legs to work at the same time, scratching as frantically as it can in the opposite direction of the flow of the water. And about the time you think you have surely captured the bug in the flow of the water and killed it, you will turn off the water and see that the bug was hardly fazed at all. It will, in fact, blink and sputter a time or two, then begin to crawl around again as if it only just experienced a lovely refreshing shower…not a near death experience.

You will then resort to Plan C which is to turn on the steaming hot water to kill the bug. Again, the bug will only act as if it just experienced a delightful dip in the hot tub at a spa resort. 

You can try scooping the bug up into a cup of water. It will go for a swim. You can try pushing it down the drain. It will come up for more like it just went down a cool water slide.

Nothing you can do will drown the bug.

There is only one thing you can do to get rid of the bug. You have to squish its guts out.

Lovely to think about isn’t it?

The moral of this story is a simple one:  If you have sin or strife in your life, you can not merely “run water over it” and try to get rid of it. Taking the easy way out will not result in cleaning up your life. Running water over it will only temporarily fix the issue, making it appear as if it is gone…but it will quickly resurface itself the moment the water is turned off.

If you have a sin in your life, you have to squish it. You have to hear the crunch. It will likely hurt. 

But then it will be gone. And you can clean up the guts that are splattered all over the place then fill that void in your life with something healthy, whole and good.

Yes indeed. Who knew you could learn so much from a bug?

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